[Short: Player Executed by Eleutherian Prince after Horrendous Gangnam Style Dance]
—LMAOOO
—Most warranted execution I’ve ever seen
—How is it even possible to do it that badly lol
└ Nvm I understand now
—What a terrible day to have eyes
—Attempting to assassinate prince = okay, dancing poorly = death
└ Lol pretty much
└ Sounds about right XD
└ Prince is based
—NOTICE: King Lemonade is recruiting players to fight with the prince at Novus Town (top left of Eleutheria Kingdom)
└ omw omw omw omw
└ NOOO MY TP IS ON COOLDOWN
└ To the previous commenter: L
└ I’m coming, my king!
—Okay but why is nobody talking about the 270m/s arrow? Isn’t that pretty terrifying??
└ Doesn’t affect damage, so it’s actually pretty useless imo
└ He loses it as soon as he misses lol
└ YOU GUYS HAVEN’T SEEN GUN’S STREAM – YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE’S CAPABLE OF
└ Lol that guy has stans already
└ Since he’s an archer he’ll be ‘capable of’ hiding behind the prince for protection
└ Fr lol, archer class is so trash
...
Max logged back in after having gone for lunch with Lina and Raymond. Even on horseback it had taken several hours of travel to reach Novus – so long that it was now almost midday in real life. This passage of time was especially pronounced in the game world, where nearly an entire night cycle had passed.
Connecting to the game server, he appeared in a large military camp, packed full of players and NPC soldiers. This temporary camp had been erected far north of where he’d fought in Novus Forest previously and was about a kilometre out from the orc compound they’d come to attack. It had been necessary to climb an entire mountain to reach this place, and although there wasn’t a particularly steep incline here at the top, the terrain was that of a barren tundra, devoid of trees and with little-to-no natural cover.
...Max observed the enemy compound in the distance. It had a large wood-walled perimeter, lined with small dots across its length which he knew were orcish archers. Orcs made surprisingly good bowmen on account of their great strength and muscular endurance, and were capable of wielding huge, powerful bows which almost looked like ballistae. Their only drawback was their dexterity – since they had quite large, indelicate hands, their accuracy with bows was quite terrible.
Although inferior accuracy might sound like a fatal flaw for an archer to have, Max had personally lead armies against orcs in Hero of Liberation and knew that this was not the case. In large-scale warfare, archers would typically shoot arrows into enemy lines hundreds of metres away, so precise aim was unneeded. These long-range arrow barrages were extremely brutal and had the capability to inflict catastrophic damage to soldiers in dense formations.
Max frowned. There were plenty of ways to counter orcish archers; he wasn’t too worried about that. What truly concerned him was the fact that they built a wall. Orcs didn’t usually build walls. They didn’t usually take the high ground either – they were too stupid to have that level of foresight. The fact that they had done so anyway indicated that they were being led by a more intelligent lifeform, such as a high orc or a demon. Max hoped it was a high orc. Although he had never encountered a high orc prior to this game, his encounter with Azrog indicated that they were weaker and less intelligent than the demons in the prequel game.
‘Okay, enough daydreaming.’
Max resumed his livestream and went to find Lemonade for clout.
‘There really are a lot of players here now...’
Several thousand players filled the area, chatting amongst each other and reading the forums while waiting for the battle to begin. Max was once again reminded of how popular Lemonade was, having been able to assemble this many people with just a few social media posts.
Looking around, he saw a large tent in the centre of the camp, where several NPC soldiers stood guard to keep players from entering.
‘Command tent. Virtus and Stewart will probably be in there, but maybe Lemonade too.’
Stewart, an NPC whom Max had met prior to logging off, was a castellan from a neighbouring fiefdom. He’d brought a large number of trained soldiers – approximately ~4,600, from his castle town to defeat the orcs and dismantle their compound.
Approaching the tent, one of the soldiers recognised Max and waved him in. Max entered to find Virtus, Stewart, and a few other officers engaged in a military discussion. Meanwhile, Lemonade sat in a fold-up chair by the entrance, staring intently at a small ring.
“Lemon!” Max greeted Lemonade, causing him to jump in fright. “Whatcha doin’?”
“Hey, don’t scare me like that!” Lemonade complained. “I nearly dropped my ring. Do you have any idea how much gold is in this?”
Max recalled he got the ring from Virtus’s sister, Sophia. “No, how much?”
“A hundred thousand.”
Max’s eyes widened. “Woah. You could buy a whole suit of plate armour with that!”
“Eh, armour is that expensive?” Lemonade took a gold coin from the ring and juggled it in his hand. “I thought it would be way cheaper.”
“Nope. Back in medieval times, full plate cost more than a year’s wages for most people.” Max watched the coin. “An average person couldn’t- Wait, you just took that coin out from the ring, didn’t you?”
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
“Hm? Yeah.”
“How long to take it out? Is it faster than the inventory?”
“It’s instant, actually.”
“Instant?”
“Yeah.”
“Is there a cooldown?”
Lemonade took two more coins from the ring in quick succession. “Nope.”
“No way... Hey, do you mind trying something for me?” Max took two arrows from his quiver. “The thing you did just then, can you try it with these arrows?”
“Uh, sure.” Lemonade wasn’t sure what the significance of this was, but he took the arrows and threw them into the storage ring before taking them back out a half-second apart.
‘Wait.’ Lemonade realised what Max was thinking. ‘Oh no.’
“Lemonade, my good- my great friend. You won’t be needing that ring during the battle, will you?” Max tapped his index fingers together and made a slight pleading face. “If not... maybe I can possibly, perhaps, borrow it?”
Lemonade gave him a friendly glare before seeking outside consultation. “What do you think chat, can he borrow the ring?”
—Oh, I see, because there’s a 2-sec delay on inventory transfers but not with the ring
—Wait, isn’t this like having an infinite quiver?
—ABSOLUTELY NOT
—YES YES 100% YES
—yessssss
—NO
—Why is this guy just a walking bug collector
—Even when he begs he’s so hot omg omg
Lemonade squinted into his chat panel. “Hmm, it’s nearly an even split, but the tie was broken by a rare appearance of woman-simps. Congratulations, Gun. Seems like you’re popular with the ladies.”
—NOOOO WHYY
—This is why we don’t let them have voting rights
Lemonade sent a one-way trade offer, transferring ownership of the ring so Max could use it.
“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Max accepted. “What’s a woman-simp, though?”
“Uh-”
“No siege weapons?!” Virtus suddenly yelled loudly across the tent. “Not a single one?!”
Max and Lemonade’s attention shifted at the sudden yell to a man with his hands raised, who was attempting to placate the prince. “N-no, we have two battering rams, Your Highness. What I meant to say is that we have no ranged siege weapons.”
“No ranged siege, why?”
“Ease up on him, it was my decision,” a middle-aged man interjected. Max recognised him as the castellan, Stewart. “The reports you sent us didn’t give any mention of battlements above the palisades. We believed the rams would be enough for that sort of scenario.”
“Well, yes, but why would you not elect to simply bring everything? Now we stand at a disadvantage.”
“You wanted us here quickly and heavy weapons like those take time to move. We don’t have an entire jewellery shop of storage rings at our disposal like the royal family does,” Stewart answered bluntly.
“Tch. Sorry, it wasn’t my intention to lay blame, I’m just frustrated... Could we have some trebuchets brought from the Novus monolith?”
“We could, but it would take some time. I’m not sure how many heroes will disperse by then.”
“Never mind then, it shouldn’t be necessary. I’m fairly certain the heroes gathered here already double or triple outnumber the enemy.”
[Final Notice: An update will commence in 1 minute. Estimated downtime is 2 minutes]
‘Oh? An update?’
A system notice piqued Max’s curiosity. He hadn’t been online the last time there was an update, but he’d read on the forums that nearly everything in the game world would freeze while an update was being applied, with only a few minor exceptions.
“Indeed, we have a great number of heroes with us,” Stewart continued talking. “My men have procured a large number of siege ladders, so the heroes can use those to launch a frontal assault.”
“Yes, I concur, that would be the best way to minimise army casualties.” Virtus nodded. “In addition, let us entrust one battering ram to the heroes, in order to gauge their capability.”
Stewart made a sceptical face. “...I doubt they would succeed in ramming the gate, given that very few of them have shields. However, if that is your request, we can afford an attempt. Since we are doing that, I will arrange my men at the rear. Should the heroes start to lose control, I’ll give the order to move in with the second ram.”
“That sounds like a good plan. As expected of the castellan.”
“Ha. Your praise is unnecessary – a strategy like this is extremely basic.”
“No doubt, you would say that. Well, I believe we’ve discussed everything, so I will go now to rally the heroes. Instruct your men to hand out those siege ladders.”
“Of course, it will be done.”
Virtus rose from his chair and moved to leave the tent, addressing Max and Lemonade, “You two, with me.”
Leading them outside, he went to an elevated part of the camp where he could be seen more easily. “Alright, I’m going to make a brief speech. Come stand either side of me.”
With a glow from one of his rings, he took out a strange item. It looked similar to an ice-cream cone, but with a strange lattice sphere hovering mystically above it in the air. Without warning, he started speaking loudly into it: “Attention, heroes. I thank you all for gathering here today in defence of our glorious-”
[Update will now commence. Estimated downtime is 2 minutes. We thank you for your patience]
‘Oh. Well, that’s some poor timing.’
Max felt a bit bad for Virtus, who was cut off mid-sentence. Although he was about to warn him to wait a moment, the guy had already started talking... Wasn’t it normal to pause for a moment and think about what you’re going to say before speaking to a crowd of thousands?
‘Well anyways, where the heck is this?’
Standing on a polished marble floor, Max checked his surroundings. He was in a spacious room with a large, wall-mounted TV and electric fireplace, as well as some couches and an expensive-looking pool table. Instead of walls, two towering windows stretched from floor to ceiling on opposite sides, one of which opened up to a glistening swimming pool.
‘Is this a luxury villa?’
Max was impressed. Looking further into the building, there were some other rooms, as well as a set of walled signs. “Bowling alley... home cinema... wow.”
With this sort of setup, the players might actually ask for the updates to take longer.
Noticing an interface with patch notes, Max wavered for a moment before deciding to spend his two minutes reading through them.
Patch Notes (Section #1):
We sincerely apologise to the 700,000 players affected by registration lockout at the game’s launch, in which users could not change their avatar, settings or username after registering. To remedy this, affected users will be granted the following:
* A choice between [Avatar Change Token] or [5% EXP Booster (1 week)]
* A choice between [Username Change Token] or [5% EXP Booster (1 week)]
* [10% EXP Booster (1 week)]
This selection will be available in the user’s mail inbox, with chosen items being sent to inventory upon completing the choice form. Once more, we at Virtek apologise for any inconvenience caused by the error.
Patch Notes (Section #2):
In response to an extremely large volume of support requests regarding the archer class test, our personnel have conducted a review and deemed it necessary to implement a significant difficulty reduction. Additionally, we are aware that most players consider the class’s strength to be lacking, thus we have decided to boost its effects. The following changes will be made:
* Archer class test thresholds will be reduced by 20% (Passing distance is now 20m)
* Archer class test attempts per target will be increased from 1 to 3 attempts
* Existing archers will be granted a temporary 40% increase (e.g. 50% -> 70%) to their class bonuses due to completing a more difficult archer class test. This increase will persist until the user’s subsequent class promotion
* Archer class bonuses have been permanently doubled for all brackets
Other: An additional patch will be released tomorrow morning with further changes. We thank you for your patience and ask that you treat our support staff with kindness and respect.
"...!!!!!"