Available Titles:
* 10/10 Talent: Win a solo fight against 10 enemies who are all at least 10 levels higher than you. Effects: +10% all stats
* Could You Like... Die? – Inflict damage ten times on a single enemy. Effects: +5% damage
* Oops, What A Shame: Cause an enemy to fall to their death. Effects: -10% fall damage
* Punching Up (Solo) (3): While alone, kill an enemy 30 levels higher than you. Effects: +30% damage against enemies more than ten levels higher than you.
* I Am The Boss (Solo) --> I Am The Boss (4) (Solo) (First): While alone, kill a BOSS monster 30 levels higher than you. Effects: All stats +30% (60%)
* No It’s Not: Complete an ‘impossible’ ranked mission. Effects: +100 charm
* Disarmer – Knock a weapon out of an enemy’s grasp, Effects: +20% item durability damage
* Antidon’t (First): Prevent an enemy from drinking an antidote potion. Effects: +20% (40%) poison resistance, +20% (40%) poison damage
"..."
Even after reading through all of the titles, Max kept staring at his interface, checking to make sure he didn’t misread... Unconvinced, he then checked a third time.
—????????????????????????????????????
—HE GOT TWO FIRSTS?!!!
—Dude
—WHAT THE F*CK IS A 60% STAT INCREASE???????
—ASDSKLDMASLKMDLAASFKDLASF
—CEO’s son. I’m calling it right now, he’s the CEO’s son
—WTF
The titles were so shocking that they even tore viewers away from their new political drama.
“G-guys, I’m not crazy, right? Wouldn’t ‘stats’ mean all of my main attributes?”
Max equipped the titles and tried drawing his bow. To his astonishment, the bowstring extended all the way to his cheek, the full draw indicating that his strength had increased dramatically.
“Wh-what?” Max looked at his bowstring in stupefaction. “S-surely this is a bug, right? There’s no way they would let players have a 60% stat boost; that’s too game-breaking!”
—Give this man an Oscar
—Ain’t no WAY
—Balanced game lmao
—Title effects are doubled for the first person to get them; normally it would be 30%!
“It would normally be thirty percent? That’s still way too much.”
“What’s too much?” Virtus approached, having apparently finished his call. “Wait, you’re talking into one of those ‘living stream’ things, aren’t you?”
“Huh? Uh, yeah... you know about those?”
“I do. Sophia told me not to spill any national secrets whenever someone I appraise has a large red circle next to their name, since it would be broadcast in full to all the people of your world.”
“Yes, that’s true.” Max realised he’d neglected to warn the prince about this earlier. “Though, information comes in from our world as well. For example, the stream tells me that a large number of heroes are waiting for us at Novus, ready to assist in the battle.”
“Oh, I see. That is useful... Is that what you were referring to as ‘way too much’?”
“No, that was something else. Come to think of it, do the people of this world use ‘titles’?”
“I did hear about those. I’m aware you’re not referring to our peerage system, so my answer would be no. Our people lack many commonalities with heroes, such as your ‘titles’, ‘skills’ and ‘classes’. We can use monoliths with a timed reusage penalty proportional to our level, but we don’t have your fast recovery speed, pain reduction, or above all, your im-”
Woosh-Ting!
Suddenly, Virtus raised his gauntlet and a metallic sound rang out next to his head. Max reacted instantly and fired a return shot at the source of the projectile, causing the bow of an attacking archer to immediately disappear from his grip, flying off into the distance. The perpetrator, a player, was quickly surrounded by knights.
“Ho, we have our first daredevil, it seems.” Virtus brought his horse to a stop, seeming to have anticipated an attack. “Hm? Wait...”
With an almost audible creak, Virtus turned his neck back to Max. “Gun, did you shoot an arrow just now?”
“Yes, I disarmed him. I apologise on behalf of the heroes; we have a large number of troublemakers among us.”
“No, I expected that. Rather, why didn’t I see your arrow pass in the air? Did you use an enchantment?”
Some of the knights exchanged confused glances, not having seen anything either.
...Actually, even Max didn’t see his own arrow. However, he at least knew why.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
“That would be due to one of my skills, [Successive Speed]. The skill temporarily increases my arrow velocity with each consecutive shot until I suffer a miss.”
Due to the skill effect not having a duration limit, and given the fact that he hadn’t actually missed any shots since obtaining the skill, his arrows remained incredibly fast. Combined with the increased power of his new bow, it was now practically impossible to dodge one of his attacks. Max felt slightly bad for whichever game developers were responsible, because they would undoubtedly face some harsh condemnation in the near future. It was keenly apparent that, for all this game’s exceptional graphics and AI intelligence, a lot of the game design was really bad.
“S-speed? You mean to say the arrow was so fast that it became imperceptible by sight? Just how fast was it moving?”
...Max did some quick maths. The projectile physics were mostly in accord with Hero of Liberation, so his 200lbs bow would ordinarily shoot one of his 50g arrows at close to 67m/s when fully drawn. Since he had killed around 60 enemies since obtaining the skill, the speed boost amounted to about 5% x 60 = 300%.
“It should be around two hundred and seventy metres per second, Your Highness – roughly the muzzle velocity of a low-grade handgun.”
???? Virtus blankly gaped at Max in mystification.
‘...Are they just shocked or do they need imperial- Ah! They don’t have handguns here!’
“That- It’s four times the regular speed, Your Highness.”
The fog slowly cleared from Virtus’s eyes. “O-oh. I see. Indeed, that is... quite a powerful skill to have at your disposal... I um, I hope we can discuss this later in more detail.”
—EXCUSE ME WHATTT
—CLIP IT!! CLIP IT!!
—This is more broken than my wall clock
—Gun has a gun. Gun has a gun. Gun has a gun. Gun has a gun.
—WTFFFFF
—Uh, yes, Virtek, I’d like to report a bug
—This is more broken than my phone screen
—Why so precise lmaoo
—HandGun?
—I don’t know how, but the cowboy hat makes this infinitely better
—This is more broken than my ex-girlfriend’s mental state
—$500 game btw
The comments erupted.
Virtus cleared his throat. *Ahem* “Before that, I suppose there’s a more pressing matter to resolve.” He turned to the detained player, whose arms were firmly secured by armoured knights on each side. “I see that you are one of the heroes. Tell me young man, why did you decide to attack me just now? My life was never in danger, but I would like to understand your motive.”
‘Young man?’ Max looked at Virtus. He had short, light-blonde hair with blue eyes, and a healthy complexion which indicated early-to-mid 20s. He was nowhere near old enough to be calling someone ‘young man’... Maybe he just said it to sound imposing.
The archer spoke, “I’unno, I just had that vibe y’know? Like, you get what I’m sayin’ cuzz?”
...Max facepalmed.
Virtus froze and needed a few seconds to comprehend. “I’m afraid I do not ‘get’ what you are saying, ‘cuzz’. Would you mind elucidating your reasoning?”
“Uh, well I was gonna join you for that whole battle mission shebang or whatever, but then I was like, ‘what would happen if I just turned and shot the prince right now’, and the intrusive thought just sorta... won over... ‘n stuff.”
“...” Virtus stared at him.
“Uh, Your Highness, if I might offer some counsel?” Lemonade approached with Dahlia.
“Please do. And call me Virtus.”
“Of course. Virtus. So the players – I mean heroes, are, as I’m sure you’ve surmised, very free-spirited individuals. Many of us tend to act on impulse and do whatever we feel like in the moment, with very little thought to the consequences.”
“I certainly noticed that... Go on.”
“So, convention in this sort of circumstance would suggest punishing all wrongdoers to deter crimes and set an example. Only, this sort of action might cause disciplined heroes to feel resentful and be unwilling to aid you in the future, so, rather than that, I propose an alternate solution.”
“You would forgo punishment?” Virtus was intrigued.
“Not exactly. First, do you know what heroes value the most in a person?”
“Strength? No, it should be principles.”
Lemonade shook his head. “Those are both near the top of the list, but not quite.”
“...Looks?”
“Also at the top of the list, but no. Above all, our people value humour.”
“Humour? You mean, as in comedy?”
“Yes. Our people love to be entertained, which is why I have a suggestion: Why not propose a task for the hero to complete. If he fails, punish him, but if he succeeds, let him be pardoned for his crimes.”
“Interesting. Humour above all, you say? Very well.” Virtus placed his attention back on the archer. “Hero, I still don’t particularly understand why you chose to attack me, but I see that your name is ‘DarkArcher69’. Listen here, DarkArcher69. Although you seem to have shot an arrow at my head for no discernible reason, I am feeling merciful today, so I will grant you one chance at clemency.”
DarkArcher69 nodded. “Thanks, prince. What task do I need to complete, then?”
“A dance.”
“...Dance?”
“Yes, dance. Show me your best performance, and if I am impressed then I will spare your life.”
“That’s all I need to do?” The archer smirked as his arms were released. “Aight bet, I can do that.”
Without wasting any time, he burst into motion, bouncing up and down on the spot with his wrists crossed in front of him.
‘Oh no.’ Max instantly realised he was doing. This man was attempting to do the ‘Gangnam Style’. Except... ‘He’s really bad!’
The man was a terrible dancer. His arms flailed limply in front of him and his legs kicked out in uneven, jerky bursts, sometimes too much and sometimes too little, as if he was trying to put out an invisible fire at the soles of his feet rather than follow any semblance of rhythm. He started whirling an arm around in front of his face, poorly imitating a lassoing motion.
Expressions of secondhand embarrassment spread through the crowd as nearby players watched on in horror. “Dear God, make it stop,” someone muttered.
Not hearing that onlooker, and despite his utter lack of coordination, the player continued to ‘dance’, all the while radiating confidence. Entirely caught up in his own world, he placed his hands on his hips and started strutting sideways with his chest puffed out, moving back and forth in front of Virtus’s horse.
“Ayy, sexy lady.” He murmured slightly out of tune. “Op, op-op-op, oppa Gangnam Style!”
After repeating the main motion again for a little while, he clapped and came to a stop in front of the prince. “How was it? Pretty good, right?”
Virtus frowned. “Was that supposed to resemble a horse-riding motion?”
“Yes! Did you like it?”
With a blindingly quick flash of movement, Virtus unsheathed a sword from his hip and sliced the man’s head from his shoulders.
“That might be the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”