Hello everyone!
I'm really sorry about all the hiatuses recently, and thought I should clear things up.
I've not really done author note chapters in the past because I know how frustrating it is when the author finally updates and... it's just a dumb note. No chapter?!?! What the hell?
But I was reminded a while back a comment told me I should be more transparent about hiatuses and such, so... Honestly I'd prefer to just announce stuff like that in the discord haha... but no one joins.
I've not really opened this up to readers, but I have a rather strange relationship with writing.
With me, the writing process isn't all that enjoyable innately, but I write because I want people to see the stories and worlds I've made in my mind. I see a lot of authors complain about commenters on writing discords (looking at you, silver pen and RR discord :P), but for me, commenters are really the main thing that keeps me going.
I don't think the above is necessarily a problem innately, since I do get a lot of satisfaction from finishing a chapter and seeing comments... however...
I am a VERY slow writer.
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The chapters are only 1k words each because I cannot handle chapters of length any bigger. Every time I finish a chapter, I feel completely exhausted and get burnout immediately most of the time. And it's just... 1k words.
You all probably think I am very lazy (prob true tbh), but each chapter takes a lot of effort on my part despite how short they are.
I thought for many years I'd slowly improve my "resistance" to this exhaustion. One day... one day I will finally be able to write at a decent speed!
...well. It seems that day isn't coming. Writing is still just as exhausting and I'm not even 10% faster after years of effort.
But recently, you might have seen in my other ANs something. I've been working on game dev lately.
And... damn!
I never knew but I think I actually have a bit of a knack for this.
I could sit down for more than 10 hours a day to code, and it's not even 10% as exhausting as 1 hour of writing.
Things are actually getting done! For once, I get to make fast progress in a creative endeavour, and coding is surprisingly fun! It's insanely cathartic since I've resigned myself to just be the "slow one" for so long. I think I'll actually make the worlds I want to make faster with games than writing even...
At first, I still dedicated my time to writing for the most part, but I found myself returning to writing code more and more.
And before I knew it, I started coding in almost all my free time.
...
Well... I still treasure this fic a lot. It means a lot to me. For the first time, I actually managed to stick with a fic for so long. Nearly 200 chapters even!
I don't want to drop this fic but recently my head is so boggled up with thoughts of coding that I'm finding it more and more difficult to get myself in the right state of mind to actually write.
I'm really sorry. Updates are probably only going to be getting even more infrequent now. I'd say I'll post faster once the game is done, but I guess we all know how long indie games can take to finish.