Chapter One: Second Life

Perfect darkness enveloped me as I drifted through the abyss. There was no time in the void. I could have drifted for moments or an eternity, and it wouldn’t have mattered. For I no longer existed. I had been claimed by the endless black landscape. Whatever thoughts and memories I might have once had were gone. There was only emptiness. It was peaceful and welcoming. Inviting me to join with it and become one with the void. I embraced that nothingness with relish. I wanted to have that peace, but it was not meant to be. As I started to give in to the abyss a blue screen blinked into view before me, revealing a concise message.

Leodon Xavier Walvin, You Have Died. Initiating Second Life Protocol.

The blue of the notification screen was a sharp contrast to the complete lack of light. Oh I see, I’m dead. That’s nice. I don’t care. I thought in response to the floating message. I wanted the screen to go away so I could return to the quiet darkness, but the annoying blue box persisted. As it remained I felt a stirring that discomforted me. Memories beyond my ability to recall were reacting to the message against my will. I didn’t like it.

I tried banishing the churning thoughts that had started to wake up within me but they didn’t obey my desires. Instead, they retaliated against my attempt to dismiss them by reacting with the blue screen. It blinked out of existence and for a moment I thought I had claimed victory over the intrusion to eternal solitude. Just as quickly a new box appeared with more text.

Second Life System Interface Initiated. Notice to System User. The System Interface can be directed by mental command. The Second Life Protocol has two methods of new life induction.

Standard Reincarnation: A fresh start to carve out your future. You are reborn fully and regain memories as you reach mental maturity. Your attributes and characteristics are randomized, but you will have every opportunity to live a new life. Class options, titles, and skills are not predetermined. This selection typically has the least initial challenges, but difficulty grows with time.

Customized Incarnation: You begin the new world as a fully realized version of yourself, based on your history and experience. Your starting attributes will remain the same. Class Options, titles, and skills will be based on your previous life experiences, but with more chances for personalized growth. This selection typically involves more difficulty initially but offers greater rewards.

Please select which option you prefer.

I didn’t want a second life. I wanted to return to the comfort of the abyss, but apparently, that was not a choice I was allowed to take. Once more I tried compelling the blue boxes to just go away, and once more the waking memories rebelled against my wishes. Their quiet resurgence turned into a roar pushing to regain control. I felt a strong desire to live. I found the sudden desire peculiar. Why would the sentience controlling my memories seek life? Every time one of the memories pushed against my will all I felt was a sharp sense of pain. Do you really want to live? I asked as the thoughts kept railing against my desire to surrender. At least the void was peaceful. Yet the blue boxes remained forcing me to make a decision. I looked at the standard reincarnation. Perhaps a brand new life meant I could avoid the pain I felt lurking in the memories I had forgotten.

Sorry, I have already been a kid once. Not in the mood to do it again. A voice in my head thought, my voice. Or rather the voice of who I had used to be before I had been sent to the abyss. Before I had been enthralled by the void. As that voice spoke into my mind I felt the thoughts hidden behind the veil of nothingness push, and once more the floating box blinked and changed revealing more words.

You have selected Customized Incarnation. Now Beginning Body and Race Calibration. Notice. This will use your previous form as a genetic baseline, but alterations will be made to suit personality, ideology, and background traits.

I felt surprisingly comfortable with that choice. The swirling storm of my past was quickly driving away my desire for darkness. No, that’s not right. I realized. It was that as my memories woke up, so did my desire to see the world of light once more. That realization bolstered my mood and in short order, I watched with eagerness as the floating blue screen that had begun to wake me up dissipated.

This time it wasn’t replaced with another set of words, but a person. It was a tall man with average features. He had short, light-brown hair. His body had muscle but wasn’t overly built. The man’s eyes were a mix between hazel and blue. It took a few seconds before I realized I was staring at myself, I felt taken aback but then intrigued as the churning memories began popping into place. I had seen this man in a mirror for years, I had seen those hands, my hands as I had attempted to carve a future for myself out of the weight of a lifetime of mistakes and mediocrity.

But the man before me wasn’t just a simple reflection, it was a complete representation of the entire life he had lived. Every scar, every bruise, and every wrinkle was visible and well-defined. Even the face looked gaunt and haunted. The pain he experienced was carved in every crease like a stone monument. This was a man who had been beaten down by life time and time again. A man who had hurt so bad that he had dreamt of death, craved to die. Longed for a new life, but had never been given that blessing. Until you got to his eyes, and saw his smile. Despite the hopeless weariness of the face, the eyes glimmered with hope and determination. The smirk on that face was marred with cruelty, but only until you noticed that it was merely teasing. As it broadened into a smile you could see the genuine kindness and love within the heart.

The history within my mind began to settle just as the image of the man before me began to change. The light brown hair turned into a dark almost crimson red, almost black. Green highlights tipped the hair as it grew long enough to hang to the shoulders. The ears extended into points, and the eyes narrowed, becoming a pale gray-blue. That smile became more ferocious than kind as the incisors extended and became sharp. The muscles became more full and well-defined without looking overbearing. The man would have almost been vampiric if it wasn’t for the fact that all the bruises and scars of the old body diffused throughout the new body in a way that left the skin looking well-tanned.

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Well, that’s absolutely awesome! The voice lurking in my mind commented. Every time it spoke there was a dissonance in my soul as the memories that came with it threatened to take over. But as the body finished changing I felt myself being drawn into that corporeal form before me. Within moments I was looking out at the darkness through fresh eyes, and as I became one with my body I also became one with my memories once more.

“What the hell!?!” I shouted as soon as I had regained my voice. I had died. I wasn’t entirely sure I had wanted to die. I mean, in this age of society most people all talk about wanting to die. But I didn't want to die. What I wanted was to live. I couldn’t even remember how my life had ended. I know I had gotten sick as I vaguely remember spending time in a hospital before my memories grew hazy. I tried to force myself to recall my final moments but was only met with a feeling of bitter cold. “Oh well, in truth I probably don’t want to remember dying anyway.”

I felt slightly melancholic that the life I had led was over, but that dreary feeling didn’t last long as it was replaced by a bursting excitement. I can’t believe it! I am actually going to a new world! Dreams of adventure started to flood my mind as a new screen appeared before me. I was used to this formula now, what geek hadn’t spent a lot of time reading books about this very thing happening? The chosen ones are summoned or reincarnated to save another world. Now it was my turn. I grinned as I read the new message.

Body Calibration Complete. Notice. Due to changes in characteristics you have undergone a race change. Your race has changed from ‘Human’ to ‘Fel-Human’

Now calibrating personal attributes based on previous life data. Base Attributes are based on a scale of 1 to 10. The average base attribute is 5, with 10 being peak, and 1 being exceptionally poor.

Personal Base Attributes

Strength: 7, Vitality: 5, Agility: 6, Perception: 6, Intelligence: 7, Charisma: 2, Wisdom: 3, Luck: 2

While the term fel-human seemed slightly ominous I couldn’t help but feel enamored by the notification. The buzzing in my body was electric as I felt like I was on the precipice of a brand new life. I wasn’t upset by my attributes as they made plenty of sense. Particularly how low my latter stats were. I never made a lot of friends, I made plenty of mistakes and suffered a lot of unlucky situations. I was expecting that this new world would help me change that for the better.

Now selecting Primary, Secondary, and Tertiary background characteristics. These will affect your starting location, starting equipment, and starting class options.

Primary Background Activated. ‘Fantasy Gamer’ Initialized. Secondary Background Activated. ‘Tortured Soul’ Initialized. Tertiary Background Activated. ‘Deviant Hero’ Initialized.

“Wait, what? Tortured soul? Deviant Hero? What the hell does that mean?” I tried asking. I couldn’t argue with the fantasy gamer. I loved to play games, and fantasy was always my favorite genre. I just didn’t see myself as particularly tortured or much of a deviant. Instead of another row of text though the system responded by forcing me to recall some of the most traumatic points of my life. The experience only lasted a few seconds, but it left me sobbing.

From my childhood to my adolescence I had been physically abused at home by drunken step-fathers. At school, I had been beaten and bullied. When I started to fall in love it had been a string of heartbreaks as every girl I fell for had either used me or cheated on me. Sometimes both. Still, I pushed forward and continued to fail and struggle in life. In the end, it left my soul a broken mess. Sure, there were plenty of good times, and it wasn’t entirely unhappy. I knew plenty of others had it far worse than I did. But the pain that had carved its way into my heart had defined me enough for the system to register it as part of who I was.

Another bout of memories assailed me in short order and this time my mind didn’t race with painful memories, but with my dreams, desires, and feelings. The system showed me as a child wondering what I had done to deserve being beaten so badly, and learning how to escape into the world of fantasy. I began reading voraciously and longed for far-off places, but that only lasted for so long. The pain would always catch up to me.

Soon I started having different dreams. I began wanting the power to resist the violence around me. I wanted to be a superhero. So I could save myself and others. I started to understand how messed up the world was and I hated that it was filled with innocent people like me who could be tortured without anyone there able to save them from their nightmares. I began to dream of being that person.

Then those dreams darkened. I still wanted to be the hero, but the constant abuse had finally caught up with my heart. The world was a monstrous place, and it needed a monster to save it. I began to feel true hatred and rage. I didn’t want to just save others anymore. I wanted to brutally punish those who were able to hurt others and get away with it. I wanted to destroy the world and make it a better place. But I spent nights smiling to myself as I dreamt of tearing apart the bullies and assholes with my bare hands.

In time I had managed to learn how to control my anger, but the system had seen that anger inside of me and decided it was an integral part of who I had become and included it in my background. With a grunt, I mentally accepted its decision and watched as a new blue line of text appeared before me.

Second Life Protocol Completion 90%. Now Finalizing Incarnation Point. Please select your difficulty setting.

Tutorial Guidance System Active. Quest Notifications will be clear and present, guiding and instructing you through a location of relative safety. Low Risk, with a commensurate rewards system.

Discovery System Active. Quests will only be revealed when prerequisite conditions are fulfilled. The environment will be extremely dangerous, High Risk with a commensurate rewards system.

Notice. In both options, you will be restricted to your starting zone until you can complete four location-specific quests.

That’s slightly disappointing, I thought as I read the new message. I almost always chose the medium-difficulty options in games when I could. Easy games bored me, and extremely difficult games bothered me. Mostly because it took a long time to get good, and I just didn’t have the patience when playing games to try to do everything on the highest difficulty. Especially because it usually wasn’t that rewarding. The maximum challenges were trials in self-abuse for bragging rights, and that wasn’t my idea of fun.

This wasn’t a video game though. This was me preparing for a brand new life. I was never a fan of extreme sports, and I wasn’t huge on taking a lot of risks, but this was an opportunity for me to fulfill my dreams. My entire life I had wanted to go to far-off worlds or fight epic life-and-death battles. As I stared at my options I realized that I did not want to take the easy route.

If I was going to be fighting for my right to live in this new world then I wanted to jump right into it, feet first. It might be a higher risk, but not only would it mean better rewards, but I felt like the sooner I faced the harshness of my new life the sooner I could overcome it. Granted, that mentality is probably why so much of my last life was a test of endurance, but maybe in a world where actions could actually be rewarded that effort would count more. At least that’s what I could hope for.

Congratulations. Second Life Protocol Completed. Beginning Incarnation.

Even as I read the latest message the world around me went from a deep and absent black to a blinding white that forced me to close my eyes, which did nothing to hinder the brilliance surrounding me. Soon a humming vibrating sound took over my body, tossing me into nothingness.