Chapter Thirty-One: Inner Dialogue
“I am vengeance! I am the night! I AM… an idiot,” I muttered as I flopped down onto the tree branch I had been pacing for the last hour. The second terrace sprawled out below me as I placed an elbow on my knee and rested my chin in the palm of my hand.
An important point. Stakeouts are boring as hell.
When Lieutenant Drentana had announced the job to assist the guard she had declared it to everyone. Including everyone who had shown up for recruitment regardless of whether or not they had passed the tests.
If they hadn’t they were issued documentation, instead of tags, that marked them as provisional adventurers.
While the job was technically optional as she had no way to force people to accept the task, the incentive bonus she offered was enough to get most people interested. More money was always a good thing. It was also fairly obvious that if you didn’t help you would probably be under suspicion yourself.
So now here I was, watching the nightlife of a darkened city with nothing to do. Blanketing the first four levels of the city were hundreds of guards and adventurers watching and waiting for any sign of the thieves.
A lot of the teams were in groups waiting outside of known gang hideouts. Not that they would find anything.
Last night had been hectic in arranging all the gangs to steal from the targeted houses and shops. We also ensured there was plenty of evidence that more places would be struck again tonight in new districts on the same terraces.
So while most of the attention was on the city’s lower levels the gangs had free reign on the middle levels.
Which meant that here I was in a tree with nothing to do but wait.
You could spend time thinking about things, you know? But you don’t want to do that do you? My inner voice asked, and I just nodded. It was true. I didn’t want to think. At least not about some things. That was another downside to stakeouts. Too much time alone meant too much time for thoughts.
“So you’re back to bother me,” I said, speaking to the voice in my head. In the distance, a shadow jumped between buildings, and a flash of golden light could be seen with a brief glint of metal. I smiled, as I recognized Faerwyn’s abilities.
I never really left though did I? You just were too focused on other things to let your mind slip like this.
“Valid point,” I conceded. Below me laughter erupted, drawing my attention. Two demons were walking arm in arm, teetering drunkenly. “At least some people are having fun.”
You can’t ignore me forever. You will have to-
“Time for a change of perspective!” I called over the sound of my own thinking. I looked around and saw a suitable building in the distance and with a push I was suddenly greeted by a terrifying rush of air as I began to plummet from the branch I had been seated on.
Halfway through the fall, I spread my consciousness around me, and feeling the drain on my mana, I activated one of my recent skills.
Skill: Dark Passage (Emperor of Darkness - Tier One) Skill Rank: F Investment: 5 / 45 Skill Description: You can now pass between shadows. You can teleport within any shadow directly connecting to your body at the cost of 10% mana per use, or any shadow that you can see or visualize at the cost of 50% mana peruse. Rank Up Effect: Decrease the cost of teleportation to connected shadows by 1% and disconnected shadows by 5%
I swiftly approached the ground, but instead of becoming a pancake I was embraced by darkness and my momentum suddenly shifted as instead of falling I was rising into the air out of a shadow on a building.
I fell upwards for only a moment as I launched out of my portal before descending to land lightly on the roof of a nearby building.
Before my thoughts could settle long enough for me to get introspective again I started reaching my mind out to my minions. I decided to start with one that I knew would make me feel better.
“Hey Nuts, how’s it going?” I asked the squirrel. I felt an excited energy coming through my connection, and as my squirrel spoke I saw glimpses of what he was experiencing.
“Hi! I is good, Master. Is very good. Lots of yummies and shinies!” Nuts responded, making me chuckle. He was scampering around some shop on the outskirts of the city. Alongside him were several other squirrels, mice, and chipmunks.
They were digging through a pantry, nibbling on various foodstuffs, and running off with the silverware.
That had been Jeloqa’s input to the plan. To have a number of deathsworn causing mayhem throughout the lower levels of the city to cause a distraction and lend credibility to the false claims of thieving going on tonight.
With the increased number of Deathsworn I could summon this allowed me to give have little centers of chaos spread around. Still ignoring the whispers of internal thoughts I checked in with Bandit.
“Hey buddy, how are you doing on your end?” As I connected to my raccoon I could feel him freeze guiltily for a moment. That caught my attention and I allowed my mind to slip more closely into his.
“Master, I am doing fine!” Bandit tried saying hurriedly, but it was too late. I already could see that he was in digging around in someone’s closet trying on some children’s clothes. Spreading my consciousness around to the ferrets, skunks, and even a couple of capuchin monkeys that had been designated to accompany him I could see they were completely ransacking the place.
While Nuts and his team had been ransacking shops and kitchens, Bandit and his little posse of troublemakers were going into personal homes and seeing what they could get into.
Every one of my undead furballs was wearing some form of clothing and jewelry as they scampered through whatever house they were in. Even the skunks had stockings on their tails.
I just stood there for a long moment the mental connection between Bandit and I lingering awkwardly.
“Bandit?”
“Yes?”
“Get out of that house and get to causing more messes elsewhere,” I commanded.
“Okay,” my minion said, and I let the telepathy between us drop as I shook my head. The task had been to cause a mess and move on, but they must have gotten distracted. The pros and cons of more intelligent undead. They followed orders, but sometimes their personalities made the process of following those orders chaotic.
True, I could always just issue them direct commands and they would follow faithfully, but if I had wanted mindless zombie minions I could have invested in other skills.
A brief warmth washed through my mind as Talon flapped over my head and gave me a telepathic hug. He was gone a moment later. His goal tonight was to help guide a group of various birds in nocturnal scouting. Keeping me updated on where the other guards and adventurers were, as well as the progress of the gangs on the higher levels.
I pulled my grimoire out of my inventory and opened up the map. As it stood I was currently the only one around for several blocks. I thought about calling one of my friends with the grimoire but hesitated.
That’s right. You are just trying to avoid thinking about things, you are trying to avoid your own guilt. That guilt is making you want to pull away from the people you care about.
“Shut up,” I snapped at my mind. It wasn’t wrong, and it probably was time that I think through what was eating at me, but a motion below me distracted me.
A small demon, a child, darted across the street. He had a bundle wrapped in his arms. The days take of food or some other vital thing. He was covered in dirt, and obviously homeless. Too young to be a part of the raids the gangs were doing for me.
He turned down an alley still rushing. I was curious so I began to follow him when something else caught my eye.
A larger red-skinned demon with bones encasing his body started stalking down the same alleyway, veering directions as soon as he had noticed the boy. Something about that set me on edge. Wrapping myself in shadows I followed from the rooftops.
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Below me, the child turned a few corners until entering a rundown building. Half of it was built out of a small tree, but the tree looked stunted and half dead. The magic used to turn trees into homes and help them grow hadn’t been devoted to this little section of land.
The larger demon continued to lurk purposefully in the direction of the child and pulled out a large blade.
“Oh no you don’t,” I whispered and prepared to act, and then hesitated. I didn’t know the whole story. For all I knew the kid could have stolen something from the older demon. Maybe the knife was only for intimidation.
Gonna play superhero now? Do you think it will absolve your guilt? Cleanse the blood from your hands?
Ignoring the desire to claw out my brain I sunk into the shadows, stepping out from another one around a corner in the alley in front of the armed demon. He didn’t see me yet so I studied him.
Nrex Linoc Level: 7 Race: Molossi Class: Carpenter Adept (Rogue) Affinity: Hostile
I pondered the demon’s status screen for a moment as he approached, unable to detect me yet. In the city, it wasn’t uncommon for people to have low levels. Most citizens stayed between levels 0-5 their whole lives.
It was also common for many individuals to get the same or common classes without much exception.
Class names and skill sets didn't start getting tailored to the individual until level 10 unless they were exceptional and the system regarded them as such.
You still leveled with non-combat classes as long as you participated in an activity that fit your class, but with more people participating in the effort the experience gained individually was dramatically lower.
This person had leveled up enough to multiclass though and had a skill that would hide their second class from the average citizen. My higher perception and hunter's sight revealed it to me, though.
So what are you going to do? Are you going to stand and watch or get involved?
Ignoring the voice I stumbled loudly out from behind my corner toppling in front of the demon, not even bothering to look at the secret rogue.
“Woah, who knew Zexestra had earthquakes?” I laughed feigning drunkenness. I tried pushing myself up only to let my arms give out before rolling onto my back laughing. That was when Nrex appeared over me. I acted surprised when I saw him.
“Who are you?” His voice sounded cold and angry. I squinted up trying to act like I couldn’t see straight. Yet, underneath my gaze, his entire body lit up. I could see every vulnerable point on his body as my racial abilities heightened my senses in the presence of prey.
My mouth began to salivate, but I ignored the desire.
“OH! Hello!” I shouted, slurring my words. “You don’t happen to have any ale, do you?”
The demon scowled at me. Before seeming to dismiss me as some random drunkard. He started to move past me when I grabbed at his leg with an iron grip.
“Let go of me!” He hissed, looking between me and the direction of the child. I didn’t like that look.
“Where are you going?” My voice came out, no sign of being drunk remained. The demon turned back to me glaring, before his eyes went wide. I could tell he suddenly noticed my level.
“Ah, um…” He started, no longer trying to pull his leg from my grip. I still let him go as I quickly rose to my feet. The demon stood several inches taller than me, but the way he shook in fear made me seem twice as large.
“What did you want with that child? Tell me the truth?”
“That child is… is… my stepson!” Nrex shouted, stammering at first as he tried to think up a lie. I could see it in his face, hear it in his heartbeat. I sneered at him and took a step closer to him. The demon took a half step back raising his hands placatingly. I noticed the blade he had held wasn’t in them.
I could still smell the steel on him, a sheathe hidden behind his back. The scent of dried blood lingered on it, causing my stomach to growl. I infused my throat with mana, feeling a warm feeling rise inside my chest as I spoke again.
“I will only ask one more time. Why were you following that child? Tell me the truth.” I commanded. There was a hum in the air as I could feel the mana pour out of my mouth and wrap around the man’s head.
His eye’s slackened slightly as his will started to become overpowered. His body quivered in fear, even as the man confirmed his guilt.
“He had food. I was going to take it for myself. It was clear he stole it, I might as well get some for myself,” Nrex said, stumbling over his words.
He is holding back. What else is he hiding? I agreed and took another step closer to the demon, and growled.
“So you were just after the food?” I interrogated the demon using one hand to reach out and push him against a nearby wall. I couldn’t even pay attention to how much mana I was using as it practically dripped from my voice.
“N-n-no,” Nrex stuttered, fear hugging his slackened eyes. “I w-w-wanted a little bit of fun too.”
Kill him. Eat him. Punish him. Torture him. Devour him. This time the voice in my head that had been reaching out to me faded as a chorus of dark whispers tore through my mind as blackness enveloped my thoughts.
Of course. When the cat’s away, the mice will play. Pulling away the upper levels of the gangs and distracting the guards and adventurers, it had left a vacuum in the city.
Even the most ignorant of the citizens couldn’t help but figure that out.
This demon had seen tonight as the perfect opportunity to indulge in his darkest desires. He would have been able to too. this was just life on the streets, most people here might have overlooked what was going on.
I glowered at the demon as a ripple passed through my body. I could feel my muscles swell and grow as my body changed. I had reached Fel-Human rank B while devouring Derzeri and my new racial ability to store biomass was coming into play as I quickly became larger than my prey.
The alterations to my physiology didn’t stop there as I activated another one of the skills I had gained.
Skill: Monstrous Transformation Skill Rank: F (Upgradable) Skill Description: At the cost of 10% Health and Stamina, you can temporarily alter your body to gain fangs, claws, an armored exoskeleton, etc… This effect lasts for one minute or until dismissed.
The difference between the claws and fangs I could craft with my racial trait and the skill where night and day as every tooth in my mouth grew two inches longer and turned into razors. Scales rippled across my body before being covered in bony plates,
My prey opened his mouth to scream but a command silenced his voice as the acrid scent of urine suddenly filled my nostrils. I ignored the smell as I slowly began to rip the bones from the man’s flesh.
Wet ripping sounds filled the air around me, but the man was unable to scream due to my compulsion. Once his bone encasing was removed I used my sharpened claws to rip strips of skin from the demon and plopped them into my mouth chewing and savoring the taste.
Yes, punish the wicked, feed on the wicked. Devour him, like you have devoured the others. Like you have devoured us. The whispers in my mind sang as I basked in the scent of fear and blood as I ripped into the man slowly eating.
Almost as an afterthought I consciously consolidated the darkness around us into an impenetrable sphere of black that nobody could see through as I worked through my meal.
***
Staring down at the city street very little remained of the demon except a pool of blood. I looked upon the puddle as varied emotions warred inside my mind.
Leading the battle was disgust and revulsion, but malice, and joy were easily vying for top position.
The chorus of mutterings in my mind was replaced once again by just one voice. The original voice. The human voice. My conscience from the other world. The soul I had left behind when I had died.
So you ARE a murderer now.
“You knew I was a murderer. Nothing has changed. This is survival.”
No, killing the priests was survival. The beasts in the jungle was also about survival. Hell, even the adventurers and the dragons were about survival. That, what you have just done, was about personal satisfaction.
I mindlessly licked the blood from my finger as I thought about the voice’s words.
“You are right. Yet, he was going to harm a kid. That qualifies in the list we both agreed on when it came to who to kill in this new world.”
Not like saving one kid matters after the fucking mayhem you are unleashing.
That stung me and pulled me from the almost intoxicated post-feeding bliss I was working through.
“I have no choice. You know I don’t have a choice. This is the only way to ensure that as many innocent people can survive as possible,” I answered the inner voice weakly.
It wasn’t talking about the chaos we were stirring up with the robberies. It was talking about the next step in my mad plan. The step I had been avoiding thinking about all night.
My friends had agreed with the necessity, that had absolved me of the guilt. Or that’s what I told myself at the time. But I was still condemning plenty of innocent people to death by my actions.
You might not have a choice but just look at the optics of it. It’s very ‘Dark Lord’ of you.
The voice was right. Yet, I didn’t have any other options. Not anymore, not if I wanted the people of Shangrior to have a chance to thrive.
Even now my generals were leading the entire population we had gathered so far to march on Zexestra. Including the civilians and slaves.
When figuring out that an army of several thousand was marching on our borders I knew I only had one decision to make to save my people. Have them conquer this city. As long as they were within the borders of Zexestra it would be difficult for an army to harm them.
The problem was that there was no way conquering it would be bloodless. While I had plenty of failsafes, and contingencies to ensure success, all plans had margins of error.
There would be deaths. There would be enslavement. It would be at my order if not by my hands.
I couldn’t tell what unsettled me more. The lack of empathy at what I knew had to be done, or the excitement I felt at what lay in store.
I knew it was a necessity, which is why I didn’t have the energy to be empathetic. The idea of conquering a city was a sign of power that got my ego stirring. In both cases, the inner quiet of my voice was there trying to remind me of my humanity.
“What would you have me do? What’s the moral way out of this? How do I save my people? We aren’t strong enough to stop an army of thousands. Not yet.”
I don’t have a better option. I am only here because you WANT to find an option that won’t see hundreds of innocent people dead at your command.
“What good is an inner conscience if you can’t even give me the answers I seek?” I spat.
I am you. I don’t have any answers you don’t have. Hell, I am only as loud as you let me get.
“You are a fucking liar,” I said. A moment later I was stepping through the shadows, once again appearing on the branch I had been spending most of my night already. My eyes were gazing out across the dark city.
I am only here because you want me here because you need me here. When you are surrounded by others I grow quiet. When left to your own thoughts you lose your way. You created me to help you stay on the right path.
“I know, I know. You don’t need to tell me. I just…” I groaned, placing a hand across my face as I squirmed internally against the tide of thoughts.
“What do you know, Leo?” A gruff voice said from behind me. “And why are you covered in blood?”