My first entry

Day 1 of college 

August 25, 2154 

There were a lot of animals on the warm train. A few bonobo kaninchen like me, but a lot of other species were intensely focused on their phones. That or talking to one another. A lot of them seemed to be friends and around my age. Other than a constant yet quiet sizzling sound under me, I heard loud chatter. A panda who wore a yellow coat and a contrasting purple hat smelt funky. My hand grasped the warm metallic bar behind me, but I stopped as the frigid air outside would surely make others hate me. Yet, I wanted to do it all the same. 

I sat quite comfortably on the bright red leather seat. What wasn’t comfortable was the monotonous chitchat. I mean, how can people talk about things like the weather for hours on end? Like, this one foxy guy kept complaining about… Boring stuff I forgot about already! Is this what “normal” people do? What my mother desperately wanted me to embody after verbally and physically beating me up for not being “normal”? I tried to be normal, speak normal, and wore normal people's clothing but it all felt more hollow than a noir cavern. My green dress and brown coat was never my idea, but mother forced me into wearing it. I never protested against her, but he still got angry when I forgot to take out the garbage last night. 

Above me lay an electronic display of the time with cyan numbers. Since it was 10:00am, that would give me enough time to sneak past most of the students at 10:40am when we had to be in the building. For a military college named ‘Mountain Bridge University’, it was apparently located in the snowy plains. Befruen has mountains but no one lives on them and I think someone died trying to climb it or something?

Worked my butt off to get accepted into this college, so an easy journey to my classes was a good thing. But that’s fine. I was superior because friends were  distractions. Normies were too stupid, sheep, and vapid like all the people talking to befriend someone like me. The nerds were too weird for me to associate with, plus my mother would never allow it. I wanted to silence the people on the train since they ruined my train of concentration. SHUT UP… Anyway, too bad my badonkadonk was still flatter than a brick wall, but my hard work would eventually lead me to have a comfy life. 

A life without my mother. A life without my financial problems. A life without following the orders of others. Enthralled about the idea of never having to listen to other’s “good advice” since it all sucks. A life like that sounds like a dream made true! That all assumed that I passed the soldier exam. From word of the internet, the exam was quite hard. Before that, teachers would train us to be combat masters! Or at least for a bunch of young adults. These young adults said that they didn’t want to fight spirits because “They’re powerful and can shoot plasma beams without any plasma weapon” or whatever I paraphrased it to be. Me? I wanted to fight a spirit and be victorious. It seemed fun, especially the part when you use spannung and stuff.

I knew for a fact that I would fight using a sword. Oh my goodness! It would be SO COOL slashing spirits and saving my future girlfriend in the process. Envisioned it perfectly with a satisfying line like: “Hanna, we didn’t know how great and powerful you are! We are sorry for ever doubting your greatness. As a group consequence, please kick us in the face with leather boots!”. YES! They would never steal my lunch money again. ZAHAHAHAH—

“Ma’am, are you okay? You’ve been laughing out loud for four seconds?” A man with a mighty scarlet main and business suit said to me. Stopped, then the reality of the situation struck me like a bolt of thunder. I sheepishly replied “U-Ummm—Um Yeah! I am not crazy… That sounded bad out loud and everyone is looking at me but,”

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Sweat beaded down my forehead as dozens of gazes beamed into my bashful soul. I needed to escape this place. Well, not the train that moved across the track like a bullet. But maybe the restroom? I couldn’t tell what expression my face made but it definitely sounded like a shriek. Sprang out of my comfy chair and dashed to the bathroom. I ran all the way to the back of the train and locked the door. Then sat on the toilet. 

I am not crazy. Okay? If I was, then I wouldn’t have made sure to grab my diary. Actually, maybe I WAS crazy? The soundless bathroom with the blue and black tiled floor felt like a refreshing break. Vanilla scent filled my nose and made my stomach growl with joy. The break froze my nerves and embarrassment. As such, I sat on the toilet for the remainder of the time. Forgot to eat breakfast as usual so I also daydreamed about eating vanilla ice cream. 

After I stepped off the train, a giant white and yellow collection of buildings stood in front of me. The clear skies painted a picture of cloud-like roofs. The sun highlighted the highest building’s triangle roof. Luckily, the pearly snow was removed here and the red soft road was freshly paved. Strolled through the loud crowd and followed the azure boards that stated ‘Follow the arrows for orientation.’ The metallic gates were opened with a large open arc and greeted everyone with an array of buildings and pavements. Some of the buildings were partially held up by silver columns. A robot shaped like a disk floated around and spread green powder over the red and yellow pavements that still had snow on them. 

Some staff members (I think?) literally flew upwards using some function of spannung. One of them materialized a metallic wand from thin air, zapped their back which created yellow neon wings that flew them towards a nearby balcony. Once she was done, she looked down at us. A few students did similar things but one demonstration of power caught my attention. This fusch hamster man stopped while the crowd still walked, materialized a metallic sword with a blue hilt, then struck the ground. A sky blue, see-through horse manifested itself as the man jumped on the horse. I couldn’t see him anymore once he galloped past a library building and past a golden arc. 

“Ya know? I wonder if that’s illegal? The staff are using their powers to fly around and crap. But they weren’t close enough to each other for that law. But a student on the first day back? Was that guy a senior? He seemed too fast to be a regular Joe.” When I gazed over my shoulder, a purple toad with a blue hoodie with ‘True Jelly’ printed on its front and red shades absorbed my view. I wished I could dress that cool. 

Took a left and entered the rectangular building that said ‘Auditorium’. As I walked across the spotless wooden floor, a row of solid white pillars held the ceiling. The pillars had little stripes that were indented while the bottom and top were tied together with a golden band. Some of them had flower designs as well. Neon yellow light flickered like a candle in the glass cylinders and chandeliers above us, encased with gold and silver frames. Next to the room where everyone filed into, a large painting completed the noble aura of the building. Sure, a painting depicting the mountains is pretty. Even so, one day I wanted to see the world class TACO PAINTING! It was located all the way in a different country that was filled with grass and warm temperatures named Walsunna. 

One day, I will pose next to the taco! Anyway, the presentation is about to start. I try to make it clear when it’s “past me” writing. Hopefully it’s clear that it’s “present me” writing this? Is that how time works? I had plenty of time to write down my entry as well. 

They told us to sit next to our friends. An empty seat on my right and left side sat there. Soundless and without warmth nor acknowledgement of existence. Yet, all the Jacob’s and Clara’s were surrounded by love. I bet I was nicer than any of these people and I got nothing in return. Destiny made me biologically inferior to a Clara: A woman who is loved by virtue of existence and drowns in girlfriends while complaining that she feels lonely because she went one hour without a partner. She doesn’t know how good she has it and is bratty and oblivious to her privilege. It also applies if she’s heterosexual or attracted sexually and romantically to men but I am not. 

Everyone was talking, laughing, and together. Everyone was together and happy. Everyone was intimately touching each other or being loved. Everyone had a special someone and loving parents. Everyone could afford things easily. Everyone looked fondly back on highschool. Everyone except one person had no water flowing down her eyes. Everyone but— 

I’m putting my pencil away and journal back in my bookbag. I don’t know if I like writing diary entries. A few drops of water stained the top of my entry anyway. This is probably the end of me trying this. It sounded like a novel idea but this is the end. What am I doing with my life? Pulling out a notebook in public like a weirdo? Laughing out loud like a weirdo? I’m the only one writing a journal and that makes me the weirdo. The misfit, the outcast, the freak. Whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore that I was always the freak that destiny hates. I even went on this freakish tirade about made-up archetypes ruining my life. After this presentation, I’m throwing this book away in the trash and I will become a normal person.