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Venomous Agenda Memoirs
Chapter 64: Is Love Stronger Than Debt?

Chapter 64: Is Love Stronger Than Debt?

"I'm thirsty..." Josiane tells her boyfriend after an intense session of studying with him in mid-March 2035.

"Here, have some milk" Luo pours two sets of shooter-sized milk servings.

The two drink the milk shooters, both realize that some samples taste weird one way or another. Blood, garlic, rancid, bitter, even oxidized (but only Luo actually tasted the oxidation in that particular sample; Josiane plays quiz bowl instead).

"That's cute, but that's because you are the star of the Venomous Agendas' FFA (Future Farmers of America) milk tasting squad. Drinking that milk made me hungry" Josiane then kisses Luo.

"Maybe you should eat a banana" Luo then hands her a very ripe banana after the kiss is done.

"How romantic!" the mulatto girl exclaims, while peeling the banana.

Oh I would love this relationship to continue in college, but Josiane already decided to attend Saint Louis University (SLU). Speaking of which, I should check on the financial aid award, Luo thinks that his financial aid award is overdue at SLU. And he has one more active application to wait for: Trinity College.

Luo crosses his fingers for the financial aid award from SLU. Upon realizing that SLU is going to be more expensive than LSU, he is floored.

"Good Lord! Going to SLU is going to be more expensive than I thought!" Luo exclaims, while he reads the FA award from SLU.

"I still love you" Josiane reads the FA award next to him.

"If I do nothing, I will need to take out fifty grand in loans, and some change, to be with you in St. Louis" Luo ran the calculation in his mind for the debt burden he'd incur to continue being with Josiane.

"Honestly, I am not sold on the relationship being able to remain if we do long-distance once in college"

"We both want each other to be happy in college"

Sweet Josiane. You gave me a lot to think about. While, for years, we have been dating, I don't think I can handle being in along-distance relationship. Somehow, until now, I never considered what could happen if, at either LSU or Trinity, if I get in and is cheaper than LSU, I date someone else, Luo starts to reflect on the implications of college on his relationship. While I think I could be happy with her, even in St. Louis, I am not sure if being happy with her for an additional four years is worth being an extra $50-55k in debt. Who am I kidding? I am not sure that Josiane will be enough for me to like SLU even if I could somehow scrape together an extra $12.5k in financial aid!

"College is the experience of a lifetime. Your happiness includes the ability to pursue your dreams and passions, as much as it includes being with the right people" Josiane then sighs.

"It goes both ways then"

"If debt makes you unable to pursue your passions, it will then become a choice between being with her and being forced to something you don't like to do so, and pursuing your passions with someone else you may not necessarily like the same" Luo's father harangues him. "Or maybe even with no love interest at all, and we all know how important it is to have one"

As far as I knew Josiane as my son's girlfriend, they both put a lot of effort in class, but neither hit the benchmarks required of Tulane ED in-state auto-admit. Luo was at 3.79/32 as of the ED2 deadline, and Josiane, at 3.84/31, Luo's father thinks about how he feels about both, as Josiane leaves his home.

But just before Luo goes to bed, he received an email from Trinity College posting an update on his application. When he reads it, with his parents:

"Congratulations on your admission to Trinity!" an ecstatic Luo reads, and then jumps straight to the financial aid award letter.

At SLU, what we VAs call the EFC, that is, the price after gift aid and work-study is accounted for, is around $20k for me. Yet, some net price calculators asked us to enter the student aid index, or SAI, which is about determining how much financial need colleges deem we have. Now, Trinity's EFC is almost the same as LSU, and my EFC there is a much more manageable $7600, and it's debt-free. If it wasn't of Josiane, it would be a no-brainer, but Josiane makes things much more complicated. Part of me wants to just break up and attend Trinity, but... Luo starts crying, knowing Josiane hasn't applied at Trinity.

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But then, that night, Luo starts to get nightmares, with 3 people populating it and him laying on the ground.

"At last year's HSNCT, Josiane was the VAs' best junior, yet, somehow, the VAs lost a crucial buzzer race on a tossup on Maria Chapdelaine and were eliminated because of it" SLU's quiz bowl coach appeared to him dressed in a late-19th century female lower-class dress. "She has a quarter-ride quiz bowl scholly to SLU" she points out to him.

"You disappoint me, little brother. Your extracurriculars lacked coherence, and you're paying the price for it right now!" Qian, Luo's older brother, jeered at him, wearing his current employer's football uniform, a Chinese football private school. "FFA, baseball? I guess SLU and Trinity both let you in because of your involvement in milk tasting within FFA; Chinese kids don't usually compete in milk tasting"

"If you want to keep dating Josiane in St. Louis, you must appeal your financial aid award at SLU!" Daisy, one of the first VAs to have successfully appealed a FA award, appeared to him, wearing a yellow and orange dress.

In so doing, Luo awakens and then goes to ask how to appeal a financial aid award online. The first answer he gets lists a variety of conditions that could lead to a successful FA appeal. If a financial aid appeal is what stands between being forced to break up and staying with the one I love, knowing that it will affect the both of us in our studies, I guess I have no choice. Also, I don't think, assuming that the appeal succeeds, Trinity is sufficiently different from SLU or LSU in terms of post-graduation outcomes to be worth breaking up for, Luo ruminates about what a breakup would mean to him in Hartford or Bâton-Rouge.

A loss of income, bereavement, high medical expenses not covered by insurance, losses from disasters being the most common grounds for appealing financial aid awards. None of these applied to him. The only leverage he then has is Trinity's offer.

Dear financial aid office, in the light of recent events, namely that new financial aid awards have been made by other colleges, I would like to have my financial aid award at Saint Louis University reconsidered, Luo starts writing his appeal request, and then attaching the FA award from Trinity.

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At school, a few hours later, Josiane can't help but notice that something is amiss with Luo. He's a little sleepy in class, and seems unable to focus. When the next activity starts, in AP World History, he receives a paper plane in the face, which wakes him up:

"Today, we're going to illustrate the Battle of Britain and we'll have the class split in two. On the left-hand side, we'll have the Royal Air Force and, on the other side, the Luftwaffe. Five paper planes per person" the teacher explains the activity to the class.

"Joy... we're both going to be on Germany's side" Luo sighs.

Both Josiane and I must protect our participation points in this course, so I ought to be throwing my allowance of paper aircraft! Luo realizes that he must pull his weight, even though he knows that Germany lost the battle. Yet the resulting paper plane fight seems more reminiscent of using anti-aircraft missile batteries against other missiles than an actual aerial battle. Once the fight ends, and the lecture along with it..

"I finally got around to appealing the FA award, so if the appeal allows me to attend debt-free, we will be together in St. Louis" Luo announces to his beloved Josiane.

"What would you do if the appeal doesn't allow you to go debt-free to SLU? How much debt are you willing to take on and you'd still be going to attend with me?" Josiane asks him, while looking in his eyes.

"Certainly not fifty grand. But obviously, the lower, the better. SLU prides itself on being a good value college, so let's see how true that is. However, I got into Trinity, which I know I can attend debt-free, if it comes to that"

The college counselor tried to sell me on Trinity specifically because of financial aid, but Trinity doesn't do quiz bowl. But maybe because the counselor is himself a Trinity graduate, too, Josiane reflects on her own dealings with counseling.

"I don't think this is the right time to discuss the future of our relationship further" Josiane implores Luo as she goes back to her locker.

There are things in my life where I can "cross the bridge when I get to it", but my relationship with Josiane is not one of them. Not when I am considering the size and scope of the potential consequences, Luo thinks, while he wonders where he can meet with her. He knows that quiz bowl practices are intensifying this week, so it's no use trying to go on a date with her. Especially not when quiz bowl-State is around the corner.

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For the rest of the week, the two mostly study, do homework, go to their respective practices (and baseball games for Luo), and put off thinking about their future, academic or romantic.

However, as quiz bowl-State is around the corner, while the quiz bowl team is en route to Bâton-Rouge to compete at quiz bowl-State, Josiane seems to have a lot on her mind. About this season flashing in her mind. I missed the LQBA Fall Invitational South because of a swim meet, causing us to underperform without me, and then we had to wait until LQBA Winter Invitational South to qualify for the HSNCT! This year, the teams to watch out at State for are Kinder and South Lafourche. Speaking of the HSNCT, we finished twenty-fourth last year, out of a field of 416 teams!

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After the tournament ends, in which the neighboring parish (Kinder) wins its first quiz bowl state title, and the VAs win silver, Josiane then texts Luo. "I think we should discuss our future as a couple in the coming days; we're due to do so"

"Maybe tomorrow after mass" Luo responds to her, while he is returning from his baseball game against Iowa that afternoon.

And then, next week onwards, my own schedule limits when I can go on dates with her, FFA Area III CDE is on Thursday, and I will compete in milk tasting there. The best 4 teams go on to compete at the state convention in June, Luo thinks about his FFA season, not to mention his baseball season: he plays 2 games next week.

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But after Sunday mass ends, which Luo and his parents attend, he meets up with Josiane, next to whom he was seated on the pew.

"You said you wanted to speak to me about our future as a couple?" Luo asks Josiane, a little nervous.

"Yes. However, I don't think I should talk about this here with you. There are too many people here who shouldn't be listening in on this" Josiane warns him, while struggling of where else they could have this conversation. "Maybe at my home"

"Very well"

The couple then goes to Josiane's home and she prepares coffee for them to drink. Once their coffee is poured...

"We're overdue for this, let me make this clear. You said it so that fifty grand of debt is not worth attending SLU with me, but maybe, if we live off-campus, it can become cheaper than on-campus dorms..." Josiane suggests to him.

"Oh, crap, the cost of attendance! Jo, do you have any idea of how much we'd be able to save by renting off-campus and then sharing the rent of the apartment?" Luo asks her, with the assumption that she knows what typical rents look like in that area of St. Louis.

My financial aid award at SLU assumed I would be living on-campus! So every dollar I would save by living off-campus would be taken against my debt burden, Luo thinks about while he waits for Josiane to quantify the savings of off-campus living.

"The best I can come up with is a range of values" Josiane announces to him. "The worst-case scenario costs almost the same as on-campus housing. But even if we could live off-campus, remember that part of the appeal of attending college out of town is meeting new people"

"This means I can't take for granted that we will remain together by graduation!" Luo screams, when he realizes what meeting new people would imply to him after high school ends. "So, worst-case scenario, we start out at SLU together, I go fifty grand in debt, and we have no guarantee of getting out of SLU still together!"

"Luo, I appreciate your concerns, but it's much more likely that, if we attend together, we graduate together, than not. You have always understood that there are times when we can't be there for each other. Like quiz bowl-State, or milk tasting competitions"

"However, I did go to, say, swim meets, and you went to baseball games, provided both take place in town" Luo points out to her. "Yes, I know you have been optimistic in love all these years, but what's the most likely off-campus cost scenario?"

"The most likely off-campus cost scenario would run about six grand less per year"

While the implications of this sensitivity analysis sink in his mind, he might be wondering if $25-30k of debt is a more acceptable cost to be together for four years. Assuming the appeal fails, of course. Plus an extra $3-4k per semester for every semester he is separated from Josiane. I might have said at school that $50k in debt is an unacceptable amount of debt for college, even if I graduated from SLU with Josiane, so that others won't look at me crazy, Luo asks himself. Fingers crossed that the appeal would result in at least $6-7k extra grants per year, and hopefully the full $12.5k difference between Trinity and SLU. However, debt will hurt me, especially if I realize in college that I need a graduate degree to get to where I really want.

"And there is no guarantee that you will both go to graduate school in the same region, or one will accept to work in a particular region when the other is in graduate school" Debbie, Josiane's mother, warns them. "People your age think they are in love with whoever they are dating; however, people at your academic level or higher are likely to break up at graduation"

The cold, hard truth hits both lovers like a ton of bricks. While my time in FFA exposed me to a multitude of environmental issues and how they relate to food security, my main draw to FFA was milk tasting and, from there, chemistry. I guess, I can still work in environment-related fields with a chemistry degree, and both SLU and Trinity seemed to want people to explore society as well. Hence why I feel SLU is not sufficiently different from Trinity to be worth taking out $50k of debt, which is the number I must plan around should the appeal fail, and I break up with her early in college, Luo is reminded of what he learned from competitive milk tasting. And of what this means for his future.

"I can go debt-free to SLU even if we were to both live on-campus. But since I have no real idea of what I really want yet, mom's concerns over our relationship have some merit" Josiane tells her lover.

"It's ok, love. I won't force you to major in something you don't want only so we can remain together after graduation" Luo then announces to her.

"I'm touched" Josiane then starts crying.

Josiane, overcome by the emotion, is reminded of horror stories about how people in a student's life can attempt to change a student's major, which were mostly heard from relatives of quiz bowlers, just not VA ones.

"Let's backtrack a bit. Even if we were able to stay together for all four years, I'm still looking at about twenty-five grand in debt. Not an extraordinary amount to borrow, but... I appealed my financial aid award at SLU for a reason. Up to this point, all that you knew was that fifty grand of debt was too steep a cost for us to be together. But now that we have a less expensive idea for living off-campus, the amount of extra scholarships I need is down to around six to seven grand per year for the appeal to be considered successful" Luo rambles about his financial aid situation.

"You didn't answer me last time I asked about what you would do if the appeal fails" Josiane reminds Luo, and then starts drinking.

"I guess, better be honest about it now, but... I'll break up if that happens" Luo has some melancholy in his voice when he tells her as much. It becomes his turn to cry. "I don't think my experience will be different enough at SLU vs Trinity to be worth borrowing twenty-five grand for SLU"

"That, I believe, is a more responsible choice than taking out loans just to be with someone you love. Good on you to appeal financial aid" Debbie comments on the appeal. "Speaking of appealing financial aid, do you have an idea of how long it will take for SLU to respond to your appeal?"

"They aim for ten days but since the volume of appeals is high at this point of the year, it might take longer. Fingers crossed that they will respond by April first" Luo sighs, and then starts drinking his coffee.

I guess, in past years, people at their academic level broke up like crazy, as far as I heard about this from other parents, Debbie sighs, upon seeing that they might be one of the few high school couples whose relationship could survive into college.

"You must realize that you two are lucky. Stronger students tend to break up more often at that point in their high school careers. I'd love you two to prove me wrong, but if Luo's financial aid is what gets in the way, I really hope that he'll get it" Josiane's father tells the couple, looking at them with starry eyes.

"Yeah, honey, you really ought to learn about how William, despite his gambling habits, outgrew his relationship from high school" Debbie then warns her daughter.

"Who's William anyway?" Josiane asks her mother.

"A past VA quiz bowler, who also did FFA"

The most memorable of these breakups to me is William ten years ago. He gambled his relationship away by applying to a whopping 27 colleges, many of which were reaches, to which his then-girlfriend had no chance whatsoever, and I was his coworker at the time. Not that his ex was dumb by any means, she just wasn't Ivy material, Debbie reminisces about William's breakup his senior year, and then proceeds to tell the couple about him outgrowing the relationship. And how it could happen to them even if they were studying together in St. Louis. Even if the appeal was sufficiently successful for Luo to go to SLU debt-free with the two living off-campus.

"You said it so yourself that you didn't believe Trinity to be that different from SLU, at least from an academic standpoint. You probably have an idea of how stressful studying at either one would be, even if we were to live off-campus together" Josiane warns him.

"That's where my main concern comes from. It would be much more difficult to schedule time properly for each other, not to mention that my budget for college is too tight for me to travel from Hartford to St. Louis, even if Trinity was debt-free, even if I did so once per year" Luo explains to her.

"The same in reverse: if you attend Trinity, and I live on-campus at SLU, my budget will become too tight for me to see you, even once or twice per year, in Hartford" Josiane adds.

"You put the finger on a major cause of what causes long-distance relationships to fail in college. At first you would keep contact, but as the academic demands ramp up, that tends to decrease. It's clear that you two want to be spending time together more often than once or twice a year, and that's a major ingredient in what made this couple work" Debbie points out that it might not be financially feasible to be in a long-distance relationship. She them turns to Luo. "I'd say, just wait until the result of the appeal comes. How long has it been?"

"About a week. At the earliest, I won't hear back from SLU for another week" Luo sighs.

I guess, Luo was right, but it's only now that I understand why he plans to break up if SLU doesn't give him at least $6-7k more per year. Our budgets were too tight. We had a lot to think about, Josiane has a lot to digest and returns to her room to process the entirety of the conversation with her. I have no choice but to accept that our relationship's survival is entirely dependent on Luo's appeal.

Now alone with Debbie, Luo questions her about William's involvement in FFA. Because he recognizes part of himself in William's high school self. About how William, who ended up at Cornell, broke up when he decided that Cornell would serve his aspirations better than staying with his then-girlfriend would, Luo tries to process William's dealings with the two-body problem at the end of high school.

"But why did you bring up William? He was even stronger than I! We might have been the Area III champions in competitive milk tasting last year, the administration never let us go past FFA-State, even when we medal there" Luo, puzzled, asks Debbie.

"I don't remember as clearly graduation-time breakups of other kids at your level as I did his. However, you're closer to William than you are to the average kid, even if we consider only the college-going ones" Debbie answers him.

Luo then returns home, and tries his best to stay focused on the here and now until the answer from SLU's financial aid office arrives. Such as the Area III Spring CDEs on Thursday, where the VAs square off against teams from southwest Louisiana in events such as milk tasting (which the VAs won once again), agricultural sales and marketing plans.

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But later on, Luo receives a notification on mobile on March 28 during last period from SLU. He knew about it because he programmed a special ringtone specifically for emails from SLU. I can't check it in class, so I guess it will have to wait, he starts thinking while he can't wait for the class to finish. And then read that one email he feels will affect the next four years of his life. Especially since it's clear to him that neither can afford the costs of long-distance relationship.

Then, he dashes towards Josiane, with whom he wants to show the revised financial aid offer before they return home.

"Let's see: the amount of merit aid has increased by three grand, and the grant aid has increased by five grand. Not as much as I requested, but enough for us to live off-campus together in St. Louis" Luo informs her. "Yes! We will be able to attend SLU together!" he shouts while the two make for the baseball field. And texts his parents about the extra money he got from SLU, and how this means he will live with Josiane in St. Louis, before getting to the baseball field.

"With our relationship secure, we can rest easy and focus on what really matters: our studies" Josiane then quips to him.

Upon arriving on the baseball field, they take up positions at home plate, backpacks on the home plate itself, ready to celebrate this moment.

"You earned this kiss" Luo then proceeds to kiss Josiane at home plate, which he deems the most romantic place to be on VA's campus for kissing. And not just because of his spot on the baseball team.

Good, the best kiss of my life! Josiane thinks while she keeps kissing him. One of the best days of my high school career.