There is a time in life where nothing makes sense. We lose our path, finding ourselves in the darkness. Where should I go? Where am I? Why am I alive? Such questions are left unanswered. How can we know the answer if we only see and perceive darkness? What can we do in a situation like that? During my life, I found there are two things we can do, grab the light that came to us, or light our own light. With two babies, one a monster that fed from my soul, and a body that almost died, I couldn’t light my light. But a light came to me, and I grabbed it as if my life depended on it. I never let go of her, selfishly using her and manipulating her love for me.

I’ll forever be grateful to her, and I can only hope to repay her in my next life. She did the impossible and even more for me when she didn’t need to. But thanks to her, I could see my ugly self. That little girl who killed her best friend and love was still me. My body changed, but I didn’t. I was such a bastard to her, and she forced me to see the truth, giving me no other choice but to change.

I hope you don’t make the same mistake. Value your light. Learn from them how to light your own. If you don’t, you’ll lose your light, and the darkness will consume you more than ever.

—Uzziye Bakker’s memories.

I wake up with Claire in my arms. I’m lying on a bed with many furs to cover my body. To my right, there’s a table with food and water, and to my left, there are bandages, clothes, and herbs. The room has two windows over my head. There’s a small chandelier on the ceiling and three candles on each wall. The wood has a deep brown color and looks battered, especially the door.

In normal circumstances, I’d feel amazing here, but my head hurts and the smell of the herbs, fur, wood, and candles is too much. It penetrates my brain like a hot substance frying my insides.

I get up to open the windows. The gush of wind sends chills to my body, making me regret opening them. But they have caged me for so long I stay there, filling my lungs with this freezing air and staring at the snow falling outside. Each snowflake feels like my tears. I can’t cry, though.

I lose myself in the scenery.

“What are you doing there?”

The voice snaps me out of my dream. I turn around and open my eyes wide. A goddess came to see me.

“At least put some clothes on, geez.”

At that moment, I notice I’m naked and only have some bandages on my body and head. That girl approaches me before I can react and drags me towards the bed, then she takes out her clothes and gets into the bed with Claire and me. She hugs me to warm my body.

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I take a while to process what happened. All my reactions are slowed down to the point I notice my trembling minutes after going into bed.

“How do you feel?”

She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She has to ask me again for me to snap out.

“Am I alive?”

“Yes. I found the best healer in the neighboring towns. It was a blessing that I found you in time.”

She caresses my cheek and smiles at me. It’s so powerful that I fall in love instantly. Her touch is so comforting that my eyes are closing. I want to keep looking at her, but my body can’t handle this peace and warmth.

When I wake up again, the goddess gives me a cup of water and soup. She sits on the edge of the bed and caresses my leg. I’m so excited I’m ready to have sex with her, but my body is so heavy I barely can feed myself.

Another woman enters.

“Hello, how are you feeling?”

“I’m weak; my head hurts.”

“That’s normal; they broke your skull.”

I see.

“I’ll present myself. I’m Lara Tek, and I’m a healer and a counselor.”

Lara presents herself with a straight posture and looks really proud. The goddess stands up and goes next to Lara.

“I’m Anne, just Anne. This is my house, and I rescued you.”

What?! She killed them?!

“Your situation is delicate, and there’s a lot we need to talk about. But first, can you present yourself?”

“I’m Uzziye Bakker.”

“That’s a lovely name.”

Anne compliments me while Lara stares at me, unsatisfied.

“Is that all?”

“Yeah. There’s nothing special about me.”

At my words, Anne and Lara stare at each other and then at me as if I was insane. Anne steps forward to talk, but Lara does it first.

“You have no clue about how special you are. You must realize that your life is more complex and more significant than you think.”

“I don’t need it. I just want to be happy for once before dying.”

“That won’t do! You can be happy for the rest of your life, and that life will be long!”

Anne comes closer and grabs my hands. Her warm touch and unwavering conviction shake my heart, but I do my best to hold the tears back.

“Uzziye Bakker, your life won’t be easy, so you must learn to enjoy the brief moments of happiness, or your life will be short and miserable.”

“She doesn’t need your nonsense. We create our own future.”

“Her destiny is sealed. She has no option.”

Future? Destiny? My head hurts!

“Is something wrong?”

“We can talk later. Please leave the room. I’ll check Uzziye.”

“I won’t. You’ll spout your nonsense.”

“I promise I won’t. We’ll discuss this together tomorrow. Now leave.”

Anne and Lara stare at each other for a long time, but Anne finally backs down. She leaves the room while Lara checks all my wounds.