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Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune
Chapter 6: Defective Human

Chapter 6: Defective Human

Okay… Q started to jabber about incomprehensible things now. He continued his rant about how impossible my body was, using terms that I didn’t have the brainpower to decipher. That’s fine, from the parts that I could understand, he thinks that I created the perfect Human, and that I’m some kind of Alchemy God. I saw no reason to correct him.

“Exactly!” I exclaimed, “It took a lifetime of work to create a Human Soul!”

Q gazed at his own perfect-looking form, then back at me. There was an undeniable sense of shame in his expression.

“And to think I thought myself a Master Alchemist…” he laughed, “What a joke!”

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself,” I spoke, comforting him, “I haven’t seen many Alchemists at your level; many would stop their pursuits after achieving a modicum of mastery. I can see that you are different, Q.”

“Perhaps…” he sighed, still depressed, “My Guise must look like the pitiful first attempts of a naive apprentice in your eyes.”

I shook my head, “No, I mean it. The most important aspect of any Alchemist is the drive to improve, and not their current mastery. One can always improve if one puts their mind and soul in it! Why, even this creation of mine is but a prototype. Look closer, do you see what problems there are in this design?”

I gave him my best sagely look, gesturing for him to see the flaws in my body like a professor would an eager student. I really did want to see what he thought about my stats, as I’ve had no reference point to compare my numbers to, so needed someone to gauge where I stood. And if Q did find some kind of fault in my body, like some kind of hidden disease or something, I can subtly ask him to fix it as a form of learning.

Q stared at me for a solid 5 minutes, his visage the textbook definition of concentration. After a while longer, he opened his mouth, and spoke, “Yes, although the body is perfect, there are some slight oddities in your form. I had to check through all of the available Human information on file, but they do exist.”

I gave a slight nod, telling him to continue his thoughts. Did I actually have some rare genetic disease that’ll come to bite me in 10 years? It was a good thing Q’s checking me over then, I’m sure whatever weird alien race he was, curing something like Cancer’ll be a piece of cake for him to do.

“Your basic biological information states that you are a 27-year-old Human male, yet those physical stats are some of the absolute lowest I have ever seen on record! Why, if my database is correct, your strength and endurance are barely on par with an 11-year-old prepubescent Human.”

It took almost all of my will to remain straight-faced, I never thought I was actually so feeble. I mean, I know that I wasn’t exactly living an active lifestyle before, but an 11-year-old? I’m pretty sure I could beat up a few of those!

“But my other stats are pretty good, right?” I said, still trying my best not to shout at the man.

“Indeed,” Q nodded, “Your Intelligence and especially Charisma are quite high for a new Aspirant, and you would be well suited for a magical role in the future.”

Okay, so it’s not all doomed.

“But it seems that your body has no capabilities to handle mana at all, but given it’s constructed nature, that is not a surprise. In fact, I don’t believe that you can use mana even with Origin’s Awakening system. So although your mental capabilities are quite remarkable, they’re completely useless for that body.”

Or not…

Q paused and thought for a moment longer, “And your level is interesting as well, but given that it was artificially created, the results are expected.”

“So what would be wrong if this body wasn’t artificially made?” I said, morbid curiosity making me ask despite not wanting to know the answer.

Q laughed jovially, “Well, for a Human to still be level 1 after 27 years of existence would imply that the individual is the most useless, worthless - not to mention feeble and dysfunctional - person to have ever existed on that planet! Even some Human toddlers would gain a level by simply crawling around! Why, the absurdity of that situation is quite laudable!”

It was hard to keep my face neutral after hearing Q’s… honest assessment of my physique and level. I expected to find some kind of hereditary disease or slight imperfections in my body, but that?

It’s okay, don’t get agitated. Perhaps he just misunderstood my information. Maybe his data’s wrong, and everyone starts out as level 1. Let’s go with that explanation for now.

“Yes, clearly the level would be an issue,” I muttered forcefully, “And it appears that creating a Human soul took a strain on the physical attributes as well. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to fix that yet.”

Q nodded in understanding, “Completely understandable, Lord Arbiter, but now that you have integrated with Origin as a Trial Aspirant, that issue can be remedied easily. Was that why you chose to appear here in that form?”

I almost couldn’t contain my joy when I heard those words. These things could be fixed? I had to take advantage of this situation. No, I would do more than that, if this place was some kind of testing ground for people to improve, to somehow approach the capabilities of these monsters, then I had to exploit my current advantage to the max. After all, there must be a reason why so many of us were chosen by this Central group of people. I have to participate in these trials, so let’s give Q a reason to let me do so.

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Keeping my tone neutral, I answered, “Yes, although fixing my body’s defects is only a part of the reason I’m here in this form.”

Q looked at me expectantly.

“The main reason is to test out my creation, to see how far this form can go, and of course, to make improvements in the future. After all, what better way to do so than through the Origin Matrix, and to participate in the trials as an Aspirant.”

The man was almost bursting with respect, “Yes, this is how a Grandmaster should be! To think that you would go through so much suffering and humiliation, disguised as a worthless human, just to improve on a design that I had already dismissed as perfect. I am still too naive!”

Well, if I didn’t have proof before that the people here did not have the best view of humanity before, then I certainly did now. I guess I wasn’t going to ditch this Arbiter disguise anytime soon, and that’s all the more reason to butter up to these monsters to get the best possible treatment while I still can. If one day my disguise broke, and I didn’t accumulate the necessary strength to defend myself…

Nope, don’t think like that. Worst case, I still have that Luck System with me.

“Unit Noe will always be with Host Watt.” the voice chimed reassuringly.

I smiled; at least the voice in my head was on my side.

“Or until Host Watt dies a horrible, terrible death.”

I sighed; is everyone out there to get me?

Still, I had a clear goal for the first time, and if I wanted to ensure my survival in the long term, then I had to take some risks.

“You know, Q,” I said, deciding to risk it all with this crazy plan of mine, “I can see that you are an accomplished Alchemist in your own right.”

Humbled, Q bowed low, “Nothing compared to you, Lord Arbiter, but I have some renown.”

“Tell me,” I said with a pause, “aside from the soul, what other parts of the Human form eludes you?”

Q laughed nervously, “Too many things to list, honestly, but the integration of the human senses with our natural forms has proven to be the most challenging. My colleagues and I have all the biological components working perfectly, but something is interfering with the transfer of information between the suit and body. We have made little progress so far.”

“Ah yes, perfecting the senses can be problematic.”

“Do you, perhaps, have any advice?”

Good, he was taking the bait. I had to make him invested in me; make him feel like he owes me a huge favor. That way, Q, and by association, all his underlings, will help me out with whatever trials they were putting us through, even if I don’t explicitly ask him to. After all, I’m pretty sure that an actual Arbiter would not be asking for little favors all the time from the people they’re supervising.

“Better,” I replied, addressing Q with a smile, “Since I am using your facility and resources on a personal project of mine, and you are helping me fix a slight design flaw, I can visit your lab and see if I can’t help you along with your own projects.”

Of course, I knew next to nothing about Alchemy, but I was pretty sure that it’s complex and requires a lot of things to go right. Now, if I abuse the Absolute Luck skill, then I can perhaps blindly stumble into something useful. The only thing is, I can only hope is that I had enough Luck Charges to pull off a stunt like that. Still, I could maximize my chances of success if I just gained as many levels as I can and increased the amount of Luck Charges I had.

“After I finish the first set of Trials, naturally,” I added, giving myself as much time as I could to work with.

“Yes, naturally, Lord!” Q replied, barely able to contain his excitement, “Please take as much time as you need.”

“Now about the issue with my inadequate stats…” I said slowly.

Q’s expression turned professional again, “Can I assume that you wish for the full Awakening Process?”

Great, more terms I didn’t understand, but it sounded positive, so I nodded.

“I see,” he muttered, pausing for a second, “Assuming that you do not want to stand out too much from the rest of the initiates, then your average physical stats should be around 25 to 30. Your Intelligence is fine, and the Charisma stat is well above average, so we can ignore those for now.”

Q did something with his hands, and a small green vial appeared in his grasp. It was glittering in the light and looked pretty expensive.

“The Beginner Elixir of Fortitude should be adequate for the situation.” He said with a smile, “This should put your Dexterity and Endurance a bit higher than the average, but it should still be well within the margin of error for this batch.”

He handed the small vial to me, and I drank it without hesitation. Surprisingly, the green elixir tasted like Fruit Punch. How strange.

Almost immediately I felt my body change, and not in a pleasant way either. I felt every fiber of my being tear and break as they rearranged themselves, and it took every ounce of my willpower - and the fact that I would probably die if I let slip that I wasn’t who I said I was - from screaming out in torment. Thankfully the whole process didn’t last long, and when I felt the last phantoms of agony fade, I called Noe to show me the Status Screen.

“Acknowledged,” it chimed. “Showing the Stats of Host Watt now:

Host Walter Thefuck:

Human Male - Age 27

Class: Level 1 Commoner

Attributes:

HP: 84/84

MP: 0/0

Strength: 29

Dexterity: 35

Endurance: 32

Intelligence: 26

Charisma: 32

Huh, if I remember my initial numbers correctly, then the little potion that Q gave me boosted my Strength, Dex and Endurance by a whopping 25. And that was just from the beginner vial, what would have happened if I drank the intermediate one? Or the Advanced Elixir?

“Warning, Host Walter,” Noe interrupted, “Please note that consuming further Elixirs to increase your Physical Capabilities as opposed to working on improving them through Host Walter’s own efforts will lead to stunted growth in the future. A strong foundation is necessary for optimal future development.”

I stifled a sigh. Yeah, that made sense. I could already feel the tremendous amount of strength flowing through me now, but I had no idea how to actually utilize any of that. Without any kind of control, I would probably hurt myself more than I did any enemy I encountered. I wanted to ask Q for a few more of them initially, but it’s probably best to limit the amount of these potions I drink in the future.

Instead, I just gave my thanks to Q.

“Anything else I should note before I head back to the Trials?” I asked.

Q thought for a moment before shaking his head, “Everything should be fine for now, I will inform the staff of your presence, and that you would like to participate as an Aspirant.”

Good, that’s one hurdle out of the way at least. Let’s see if I can’t get a little bit of additional benefits.

“I understand that they would want to help me but keep things in moderation. I would appreciate some concessions so that my stay here will go smoothly, but I still intend to keep my identity a secret from the other humans,” I said, but what I really meant was for them to help me out secretly. I needed every advantage I could get, but I couldn’t exactly ask for it outright.

I think Q understood my intentions, “I understand, Lord Arbiter.”

“Please just call me Walter, or Watt.”

“Oh, yes, of course, Walter,” Q answered, his voice stumbling on my name, “And I will make sure that your message is sent to all the staff here. We will ensure that your stay is as pleasant as possible while you conduct your experiments with the Human Guise.”

“Thank you,” I nodded, “If there’s nothing else, I’ll head back now.”

Q bowed low and showed me out the door. Xalla was waiting for me outside, and she saluted the both of us as we stepped out. Q gave her a nod and bid me farewell.