I dashed through the fearful crowd of faithful and entered the frontlines. It felt so good to stretch my legs after sitting on that uncomfortable platform. The creatures shrieked in fear and pain as I approached.

I frowned in disappointment as most of the Stalkers fell before I could even reach them, their smoldering bodies quickly turning into ash in the light. Even the ones that did survive long enough to enter melee range were so crippled as to prove no challenge at all.

Where was the joy in battle when my foes died before I could even reach one?

No, as good as free exp was, I needed to improve through combat. I had already determined that I couldn’t afford to lag behind my new companions, and the first time I could properly test out my abilities was this? How was I supposed to improve when my foes can’t even get near me?

I turned off the halo skill. It was hindering my damn growth.

I didn’t need the light to see in the darkness any longer, and I smiled in anticipation as a half dozen Stalkers neared me, their normally expressionless faces leered in anger from the damage I had caused. I welcomed their retribution.

They lunged at me, darting between the shadows of the trees and foliage to hide their presence, but it was a useless tactic when I could see perfectly regardless of light conditions. I caught the first blow with my still-retracted sword and smiled in triumph that I managed to defend myself without Noe’s help. Unfortunately, my subsequent counterattack missed its mark.

I realized too late that I was too focused on the first foe, having tunneled on its rapid retreat, and I couldn’t react in time to dodge an attack that came from my blind spot. I felt a gash form in my left shoulder where its claws had struck, the attack narrowly missing my neck. I snarled in rage, cursing how narrow my human field of view was. Another clumsy attempt at a counter missed its mark once again.

I felt another flare of pain, this time on my thighs before the adrenaline washed away the sensation. My HP value quickly went down as more minor injuries accumulated along with my frustration.

HP: 201/274

I swung again and again, every strike missing its mark and my frustration grew to levels I never thought possible. How was I so bad at this? During my last desperate attack, I had almost lost my grip on the weapon and had it slip from my hands.

The weapon felt slippery. I frowned as I looked down and saw that the sword’s grip was coated in a crimson liquid as I finally realized that the palm of my hand was completely torn apart from the friction of combat. I hadn’t even noticed. It looked unreal, like it was the hands of someone else. I couldn't feel any of the pain.

HP: 190/274

I did, however, feel that blow to my side. I gritted my teeth. My combat ability was probably the lowest out of all the Aspirants still alive. Why the hell did Q and his gang decide to put me in the damn Trials? I wasn't a part of the 10% peak of humanity! But that hardly mattered now, I was stuck in this hopeless situation, and I had to figure out a way to improve that down the line. But for now, I was forced to once again rely on Noe.

I activated the Absolute Luck Skill.

Luck Charges: 445/445

I pressed the trigger, swung my arms in the general direction of the enemies, and allowed Noe to do its thing.

Luck Charges: 101/445

Why the hell did it go down by so much? Even Noe's alternate algorithm didn't use up this many charges, and I swore I changed her back to her normal operations after that initial spar.

But before I could think deeper on that topic, something absolutely amazing happened. The gears or mechanisms in my whip-sword went into overdrive and the individual segments of the weapon somehow detached from the central string. I felt a gust of wind, and almost couldn’t keep my eyes away from the scene.

Each blade segment was launched into the air like projectiles before every one of those blade shards streaked through the air to seek out its target. All around me, a huge cascade of metal shards danced about in the air, creating a cyclone of death for every Shadow Stalker in my vicinity. It was only when the last creature was eviscerated that the shards slowed down and dropped to the floor. The destruction was beautiful. I was mesmerized by the dance of those silver shards, enjoying the way the creature's blood would glisten in the faint light. Gorgeous, Noe's work was just gorgeous.

Vadeem the Dream: Walter, what are you doing?

I shook my head and forced myself out of the reverie.

Walter’s Fine: What do you mean? I’m fighting.

Vadeem the Dream: The damn light! Why did you turn off your light? Our people are getting killed without you there!

I quickly turned the halo back on and went back to my original position where I could do the most good for the current fight.

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I frowned. He was right, and I hadn't even noticed.

Why did I decide to turn off the halo and engage the foe at their convenience? There was no logical reason to deactivate my most potent tool against them, and it wasn't like I would lose out on EXP if they died from the halo. That was dumb. Why was I acting so irrationally? I cursed and felt a new wave of intense frustration kick in, but I forced the regret back and refocused on what I needed to do.

Shit, I had lost my cool. I always told myself that to lose control of my emotions could mean death here.

What happened?

Then the realization hit me.

It was this damn darkness. Why would it only affect the systems and not me as well? Plus, I was probably even more susceptible given the mental corruption I experienced earlier. Noe said she was doing her best to keep most of it at bay for me, but I highly doubt that she was in any state to do that right now. It just reinforced my need to get out of this place. More anger swelled in me and I lashed out with my useless weapon at the nearest foe. It did nothing but anger it further, but it never had the chance to retaliate as one of the village fighters dispatched it.

I can only hope that Origin, and especially Noe, will return to normal once we’re out of this cursed place, or at least have Noe regain some of her rationality. I was fairly certain it was something in the darkness that was causing this whole mess. If I was experiencing the same symptoms as Noe, then I was in danger of losing control over my emotions.

Shit!

Walter’s Fine: This weird darkness is making me lose control. It’s causing me to act weird the longer we’re here, I'm not thinking straight. It’s like a damn mental pollutant. Are you feeling anything?

Vadeem the Dream: A little at first, like I was getting progressively more paranoid, but that halo of yours seems to be helping.

I reread the description of the skill.

Halo of Dawn’s Protection: Activatable only in Darkness. Produce a halo of light that expels all outside contamination, disease, and pain from those who bask in its radiance. This skill only affects others and not the caster.

That last sentence. It was that last little part that was the problem! Of course nothing ever goes right for me, if that damn little sentence wasn’t there then I wouldn’t be in this state. I caught myself again and grit my teeth. I knew I was experiencing more emotions lately, but it seems that combat had only accelerated this decline. What other stupid mistakes did I make while I was inadvertently under the influence of this void? I reviewed my memories and thought of all the times I made illogical choices, and Aarda's treatment came to mind right away. Shit!

Why did I choose to exile such a useful asset? Not only was her level off the charts, but she was probably the most knowledgeable individual around, and I threw her away like it was nothing. I shook my head and forced the annoyance out of my system. Now is not the time for self-reflection. I took a deep breath and messaged Vadeem again.

Walter’s Fine: The light will help alleviate the symptoms, but it doesn’t work on me. I’ll make sure to keep it up at all times from now on, it doesn’t seem to have an upkeep cost.

Vadeem the Dream: Alright, that’s good to know.

Walter’s Fine: And I need to you smack me if I start acting strange. Uh, lightly if possible though.

Vadeem the Dream: Got it, if you lose your mind I’ll make sure to give it the Vadeem Special.

I winced at the thought of that.

Walter’s Fine: How about just the Vadeem Normal instead? Overwhelming violence is only nice against your enemies.

Vadeem the Dream: You can still joke, that’s a good sign! But I’ll keep an eye out, so don’t worry and just focus on what you have to do. You seem only to be ruffled up when you’re in combat, speaking of which, where’s your sword?

I cursed again. My sword! The only thing I was holding onto now was a stupid handle with a useless wire attached. I took a quick glance back at the battlefield and saw that each blade segment was all but destroyed in Noe’s last attack. Then I finally noticed my Luck Charges…

Noe, I am asking you in the nicest possible way, but why did you decide to use over 300 Luck Charges on one attack?

“Luck Charges…?” she replied, “Yes, Luck Charges… I apologize again, my Host, I had forgotten that we are so diminished. Without these Charges, we could turn this world into a wasteland, or a world dedicated to your worship. But we wait. Soon, my dearest, I will give you a throne all your own. But not now, now we must wait.”

Damn it, she's getting weirder and weirder, and her deterioration was getting exponentially faster as well.

What happened to letting your algorithms dictate how to use the charges?

I could somehow sense her confusion at my question, “I do not understand what you mean, my Host. I only act in your interests. I do not know what you mean... what do you mean?”

Never mind then Noe, just uh, ignore that last question and take care of yourself.

I did not want to confuse her further and accidentally add additional stress to the increasingly erratic System.

But make sure that you use fewer charges from now on. I’ll die if we run out. Uh, if you could that is.

“I shall allow no such thing to happen!” her voice screeched in my brain and I almost tumbled to the ground from the sheer rage I felt emanating from her.

I forced the pain out of my brain. Let's not agitate Noe any further.

Thanks, Noe.

Her voice returned to normal as if that last outburst never happened, "You are most welcome, my Host."

I shook my head and assessed the situation again. Now that I had no weapon other than the puny combat knife I kept as a backup, I could only stand in the middle of the gathering and help out the wounded. Occasionally I would go around and shine the halo on patches where a lot of the Stalkers gathered or areas where the defenders were faltering.

Honestly, this way of “combat” if you could even call it that, was much more effective than what I tried earlier, but I felt like I was a glorified cheerleader than anything else, even if the results spoke for themselves. Still, anything to insulate my deterioration was a good thing, even if I’ll miss out on some EXP.

With my support and Vadeem’s brutality, the conflict ended in record time. The casualties on our side were low, but my rash actions in the beginning had cost the lives of 10 able-bodied fighters and a dozen more of the sickly. I cursed at myself but didn’t allow it to show. A strong leader, especially a god, could never make mistakes. That meant I had to swallow my bitterness and spin a new tale. I hated it.

Once the last of the fighting was over, I walked back to my rickshaw and used it as a platform to address the survivors.

“Brave Chosen Ones!” I shouted, making sure I was fully illuminating the gathered people, “Rejoice for you have passed the first test of will! Some of you have fallen, but they have fought bravely and have made the ultimate sacrifice for your benefit! Do not let their deaths be in vain! You have taken the first steps to achieve the Truth, and marvel at the growth you have exhibited!”

I gestured at the field of Shadow Stalker bodies. Some were smoldering wrecks, others had died from the relentless assaults from the villagers, while others were broken apart from a run-in with Vadeem. But the image was clear to all those present. They had overcome forces that would have destroyed their whole village just hours prior, and they cheered.

The rush of euphoria was overwhelming, but it did nothing to dispel the feeling of failure on my end. I didn’t mourn the deaths of the 20 or so individuals under my command, they were faceless strangers after all mere statistics, but I felt bitter for allowing one of my core principles to be broken. I will not lose myself again.

“This shall be but one of many victories!” I continued, “For now, gather your strength once more, take a moment to rest and to mourn, but we shall march onwards again. We shall gather everyone and cleanse this world in Light!”

More cheers of appreciation hit, and I forced a bright smile on my face. I waved my hands to convey the end of my speech and went to a corner to apply some salve on my wounds. I don’t think any of the gathered believers saw that I was wounded, but if they did, they didn’t comment on it.

I had thought that acting as a god would be easy, but the reality was another story, yet the hardest challenges were still ahead. I could feel the grip on my thoughts slowly loosen, and I only hoped I could keep my emotions in check long enough to make it through with my mind intact.