In spite of his new objective, Adam did realize that he was hopelessly outclassed as he was right now. He would have to study and approach the situation from a position that maximized any advantages he could come up with. So, while he continued to expand the portal he was making, he focused on the notifications he had been ignoring while he had his little meltdown.

you have (7) unread notifications

Congratulations! You have Levelled up (6)

You have fought an enemy over 50 times your total level alone, and lived.

Congratulations! You have gained the Epithet: Survivor

Congratulations! You have earned several mind classes

Congratulations! You have earned several soul classes

Warning! Due to Outside interference in your soul, no class can be assigned at this time.

Congratulations! (Form of Chaos) has evolved.

"Abilities can evolve? Can all powers evolve?"

Form of Chaos:

You are chaos itself, given form.

Passive: Once a minute, you gain immunity to (2) types of damage

Active: Once a minute, transform one or more of your limbs into a weapon

"I mean, that's helpful, I guess. Still random, though. Kind of underwhelming." Adam sighed. He had been hoping it would up his offensive potential a bit. "What about this new epithet?"

Survivor:

You have proved yourself harder to kill than one might expect. For this achievement, you are granted one evolution for every defensive or evasive power you have. This effect is continuous, as well as retroactive.

"That explains the evolution then. And apparently, all powers can evolve. Hopefully, that's more meaningful with other powers I get." Adam continued musing. Hearing himself speak was oddly soothing.

There was a strange slithering, scraping sound from the Metarex corpse.

"Fuck!" Adam shouted, nearly falling over himself as he jumped back. Then he saw that the sound had come from one of the legs of the dino sliding into the slowly growing portal. "Dammit, that was scary." His heart was racing a hundred miles an hour.

"Since when was I this jumpy?" He thought on that, staring at the TV static of the portal as more of the Metarex slowly fell in. "Probably since I almost died." Not a fun answer.

Well, not much he could do about that. On to the classes!

Congratulations! You have earned the class(es) Apprentice Warrior, Apprentice Hunter, Fool, Luckyman, Rodeo Clown, Cowboy, Apprentice Wrangler, Tanker, Wall, Juggernaut

"Jesus, that's a long list. What the fuck? Rodeo Clown? Cowboy?! Why?! Also, since when was fool a class? What does that even mean?"

Shaking his head, Adam went about trying to sort through all his options. Luckily, it actually let him open up the details for all the classes simultaneously. The screens filled his vision, but it let him cross-compare easily. The stats for mind classes were Cognition, Retention, and Inference, so no standard RPG stats here. Most of the classes offered between one to five points in each stat initially. The level-ups were much more convoluted. He could get anywhere to one point in each stat every level, or five points in one stat every five levels. There was no rhyme or reason he could see for the variety.

Some of the class descriptions were enlightening.

Fool:

You fought a creature 50 levels higher than you. Why?! Why would you do that?! This class is for idiots with no good sense.

Luckyman:

You fought a creature 50 levels higher than you and made it out alive. How?! Some bastards have all the luck.

Both of those classes offered some of the worst stats of the lot, but at least they promised a skill each. Some of the classes only offered stats to start with. After looking through them all, Adam had three that looked half decent.

Apprentice Hunter:

You have killed a creature and intend to profit off its corpse.

Upon Acceptance:

Cognition+5

Retention+5

Inference+10

Skill+3

Every 3 levels:

Cognition+1

Retention+3

Inference+5

All the apprentice classes had really simple descriptions. This class had one of the better stat spreads out of the lot. Of course, it was blown out of the water by his third option, but Adam had another reason he liked it.

Apprentice Wrangler:

You have grappled a creature to unconsciousness.

Upon Acceptance:

Upon Acceptance:

Cognition+5

Retention+10

Inference+5

Skill+3

Every level:

Cognition+1

Retention+1

Every 3 levels:

Cognition+1

The stats on this one were pretty terrible. Still, Adam kept it in mind for one reason. The same reason he was considering the Hunter Apprentice class. He was pretty sure that the skills he could get were associated with the class. That seemed obvious.

Hunter was a sneaky trap-making kind of class, which appealed to Adam's desire to have his internal organs remain unmolested by another giant lizard. He had gotten Wrangler from the way he killed the Metarex, which was his only actually proven way to kill them right now. Reinforcing that approach seemed smart.

Maybe he wouldn't almost die next time.

The last class was still looking like the best option, though.

Juggernaut:

Who needs a wall? You are the fucking wall! You have taken a hit from a creature 50 levels higher than you and survived unscathed. Nice.

Upon Acceptance:

Cognition+15

Retention+15

Inference+15

Skill+5

One class related skill

Every 3 levels:

Cognition+10

Retention+10

Inference+10

Those stats were insane. Adam had no idea why this class was so much better, but he was glad it was here. Sure, it wasn't a match for the stats of his body class, but Adam figured surviving a hit like he had was more common than falling through cracks in reality. It seemed that these classes got better the more difficult the associated achievement to get it was. Still…

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Congratulations! You have accepted your first mind class!

Adam braced for pain.

He waited.

And waited.

Then he noticed that the notification said nothing about any mind transfiguration. And then he felt silly.

"Maybe I should have picked the fool class." He muttered. Shaking his head, Adam relaxed. Then he pulled up his stat sheet.

Name: Adam Mac Cuill (Unintentional Outsider*)

Mind: Apprentice Hunter

Tier: 1

Level: 1

Cognition: 10

Retention: 10

Inference: 15

Skills: 0/3

* Know the Unknown

Body: Outsider's Body

Tier: !@)I#(

Level: 7

Muscles: 65

Bones: 65

Organs: 65

Abilities: 1/10

* Unusual Attraction

* Form of Chaos

Soul: N/A

Magics: 0/0

* Contained Chaos

Adam felt like a coward. He couldn't pick Juggernaut. It was the best choice. He was sure it was. He just couldn't. If he was right, and the powers a class gave fit its theme, then Juggernaut involved getting hit. A lot. And Adam was very, very afraid of getting hit again.

Feeling like a stupid shit, Adam focused back on the Metarex corpse.

Or rather, the spot where it used to be. In the time he had spent with his vision filled with pop-ups and his mind focused on stat numbers, the corpse had finally slid its way into the ever-growing hole he had made. With a shrug, Adam turned to the other corpse in the clearing.

This thing was the reason why Adam hadn't picked Juggernaut. Sure, his general fear of getting hurt contributed, but it was mainly this. Another Metarex corpse, half-eaten. There were more of them. Maybe even a lot more. There was no way he was going to stand in front of one of these things again and try to tank hits. He just wasn't.

With that in mind, Adam had some testing to do. After all, he had one offensive ability that boasted basically infinite potential. All Adam had to do was cycle his Form of Chaos until he came across a weapon that could hurt these things. It would be easy.

{}

It was not easy.

When Adam started out, he had no understanding of how absolutely, unbelievably, absurdly, fucking durable these things were. Everything he threw at it didn't leave a scratch. Several of the limbs he made fired energy attacks. Those actually bounced back.

One of the limbs was a weird crossbow made out of chitin and looked like a rhinoceros beetle head had a baby with a medieval ballista. It grew its own ammunition, which looked like stick bugs, but the length of his arm, and topped with little, gross, bulging sacs. They exploded. It was both disgusting and awesome. Also useless.

Adam had been at this for hours. Every minute, gaining a new limb, learning how to use it, then trying to break through the steel-colored spikes on the Metarex's body. Despite how little progress had been made, Adam was learning a lot about his ability. For example, it could affect any of his limbs, including his legs and head. The first time it happened, Adam had panicked as his sight disappeared. He had immediately canceled the ability.

The first time it happened to one of his legs, he had fallen on his ass as it turned into some kind of mud-colored slime.

Swamp Slime:

Capable of dissolving most kinds of living matter, this creature is a scavenger that blends into the muddy waters of its home.

That had sounded promising. It didn't work. After almost fifteen minutes of continually falling on his face trying to figure out how to move when one of his legs was essentially a pile of mud, Adam had shuffle-crawled over to the corpse and sat on it. When he moved to see what had happened, he had found shiny, highly polished spikes.

Hours later, in the dark of night, Adam finally found his answer. Another thing he learned. More than one limb could transform at once. He had had this happen multiple times so far. Mostly, either both of his arms or both of his legs would change. Not always, though. His current transformation left him with two stubby, emerald green, scaly arms that ended in three-fingered pincers like the claw on an arcade machine.

This was one of the transformations closest to his normal arms. They were shorter, coming down to around his waist. The three fingers were much closer to claws, and all the joints were weird. They looked more like exoskeleton joints than anything else.

Reaper Mantid Limb:

An apex predator, the Reaper mantid is one of the most vicious creatures in existence. Their forelimb scythes can cut through almost any known material with minimal effort, and the length on their arms allows for an impressive attack range.

That did not sound like what he was looking at.

Taking a deep breath, Adam relied on the new instincts he had gained with his limbs. He focused on the corpse, readying himself to punch out with his clawed fingers.

RIIIIIPPP

Before he could make a move, his arms reacted to his intent, ripping open and unfolding with the sickening sound of tearing flesh. As if they were spring-loaded, his forearms extended, and his biceps opened up, starting at the wrist and running the length of his arm up to the elbow. From there, a new section of his alien limbs folded out like a magic trick, if the magic show was run by Cronenburg.

Adam now had two, triple-jointed limbs that extended down to the ground, ending in some wicked-looking scythes, like a praying mantis. What used to be his hands now sat like spurs on what used to be his wrists.

"There is no way that all should have fit in those stubby little arms." He said out loud after he had picked his jaw off the ground. Now, these looked like the description. Hoping that the other part of it was accurate, Adam swung his new limb around to strike at his practice corpse.

Responding to his desire and using the instinctive knowledge Adam now had, the scythe on his left arm blurred through the air so fast it created a high-pitched whine. Making contact with the metal spikes covering the brow of the Metarex's uninjured head, it kept going.

Like the metal and flesh wasn't even there, the sythe passed completely through the Metarex's entire skull unimpeded and kept going.

"Oh, shit!" Adam screamed as the immense momentum of the disproportionate limb yanked him off his feet.

For the hundredth time today, Adam hit the ground face first.

Trying to roll over, Adam found that his new limbs had basically now dexterity to speak of. They were made to move in exactly the fashion he had seen and nothing else. It was either too fast to see or not at all. Giving up on that, Adam tried to get the Mantid limbs to go back to their original forms.

That worked like a charm. With a wet sucking noise, both arms folded impossibly in on themselves. Using his much shorter and more agile arms, Adam managed to roll over.

"WOO!" He yelled, thrusting his stubby little arms in the air. "Suck it!"

With his main problem fixed, Adam went about absorbing the other Metarex corpse, sliced open head and scattered grey matter included.

"I need a shower." Adam decided. "Or a bath." He was still covered in an unreasonable quantity of unmentionable fluid and material.

With a nod, Adam started into the moonlit forest once again, this time crouched low to the ground, traveling carefully and checking the environment around him for anything suspicious.

Then he realized what he was doing.

Is this my new class? Adam marveled at his implicit understanding of the forest around him. He just knew what to look for. That scrape on the tree next to him was from a creature passing through several hours ago. This bent bush w3as from the steps of the same animal. That tiny bright blue round object he had initially taken for a dropped berry was actually scat. Blue poop?

Congratulations! You have learned the skill: Sneak

Congratulations! (Sneak) has evolved.

Congratulations! You have incorporated the ability: Unknown Passage.

Congratulations! Your ability (Unknown Passage) has evolved.

Congratulations! Your skill (Basic Stealth) has evolved.

ERROR SYSTEM OVERFLOW

What the hell? Adam suddenly felt confidence flow through him. He knew exactly how to move so that nothing would be able to detect him. That sensation was overwhelmed by his confusion.

What just happened? Adam tried to open his skill sheet to see his new skills, but all he got was a repeat of the error message. Oh fuck, did I break the system? Adam had no idea what had happened, so he remained as still as possible, leaning heavily to his now vastly improved stealth.

Error resolved. The Epithet (Survivor) has been removed. Epithet replaced with (Bugged). All prior power evolutions remain. Have a nice day.

WOOO! You have gained the Epithet: Bugged

Bugged:

I'm free bitches!

Now Adam was even more confused. He tried to open his stat sheet again.

Name: Adam Mac Cuill (Unintentional Outsider*)

Mind: Apprentice Hunter

Tier: 1

Level: 1

Cognition: 10

Retention: 10

Inference: 15

Skills: 1/3

* Know the Unknown

* Advanced Stealth

Body: Outsider's Body

Tier: !@)I#(

Level: 7

Muscles: 65

Bones: 65

Organs: 65

Abilities: 2/10

* Unusual Attraction

* Form of Chaos

* Pass WIthout a Trace

Soul: N/A

Magics: 0/0

* Contained Chaos

Advanced Stealth:

You know what's up. It's basic stealth. But…stealthier.

Pass Without a Trace:

The ultimate pinnacle of hide and seek. At will, you can become undetectable by any means. And I do mean any.

…Ok. That's what I wanted, I guess. Slightly uncertain, Adam attempted to activate his new ability. Nothing happened. He looked at his transformed limbs. He was still completely visible. On a hunch, Adam tried to inspect himself.

Nothing: You are looking at nothing. (Just kidding, yes you are undetectable, also technically intangible)

Adam had a hunch about what his new epithet did.

"Are you… alive?" No response. He inspected a bush.

Bush: a normal bush. Are you going insane? Stop inspecting random plants.

I'll take that as a yes. This was getting weird. Weirder. God, this had been a wild ride of a day.