Novels2Search
Unintentional Outsider
Chapter 1: A really shitty prank

Chapter 1: A really shitty prank

Adam groaned, loud and long. I'm never drinking again, I swear. He said to himself, not for the first time. Probably not the last either, if he was being honest with himself. What else was he going to do, though, after a grueling 80 hour week only to return home to an empty house? 

Still, it sucked, not remembering the latter half of the night. Hell, he didn't remember leaving the bar he had gone to, let alone getting home. Come to think of it, though; this didn't seem like his house. 

Without opening his eyes, Adam was pretty sure he hadn't made it home. After all, it didn't smell like his dad's shitty cigars. A smell lingering even after all these years and all his numerous attempts to remove it. Nor was he in an actual bed. Honestly, it felt like he was lying on the ground. 

Vaguely feeling like he was going to regret it, Adam opened his eyes. Sure enough, he had somehow found himself in some sort of forest clearing. It looked to be early morning hours, the sun barely above the horizon. At least it wasn't too cold. 

Something about that thought was wrong, even to his still waking brain. Suddenly it clicked. It was the middle of winter in rural Michigan. It should have been colder than balls out. Where the hell was he!? 

Suddenly a burst of laughter right next to him nearly made him jump out of his skin. His messed-up head interpreted that as a weird half flop roll thing that got him about to feet in the opposite direction of the laugh, so it got the job done, even if he was sure it hadn't looked very dignified. 

Crouching, there was a man in a grey hoody with some kind of artwork he could see part of on the front, grey sweatpants, and no shoes. "Man, that took you a while. I was half tempted to throw some water on you or something. You must have been truly shit-faced to sleep through something like that." the man said, smiling broadly and standing. He was a roughly six foot tall average looking white guy with short-cut black hair and icy blue eyes. Adam was almost certain he had never seen him before, but he wasn't all that memorable looking. 

His mind finally kicking in gear, Adam leaped to his feet, squaring up to the man. Several scenarios ran through his head, none of them exactly positive. He couldn't really tell much about the guy's build under the baggy clothes, but if there was one thing his old man fought him, it was how to both take and give a beating. Either way, if this guy was out to hurt him, he was in for a fight.

"Where am I? Who are you? What the fuck have you done to me?" He shouted. Any kind of indication ruined as his dry throat rasped out half the words. He sounded like a chain smoker.

"There we go! Now you've got some life in you! Good, you'll need it." the man said, completely nonplussed by Adam's yelling. "As for your questions, let's go in reverse. I have done nothing to you but watch you sleep for the past, ohh, three hours like an alcohol laden baby. Hmm, that's actually kind of a morbid mental image." He paused for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. "Anywho, where was I? Oh yes, my name! Well, you asked who I am, but that is a looong slightly boring story, so I will stick to a name for now. You may call me Kendr." He bowed in a gentlemanly fashion,  which just looked bizarre with him being dressed so casually. 

"Now, the most difficult answer is the last, or first or whatever. Well, you aren't on Earth anymore." 

Adam just stared at him. 

"Yeah, people usually react like that." He scratched the back of his head. "No worries, I'll give you a bit more to go on before you call me a liar or crazy or something. You are now in the defined world of Orinth in universe A005-P12. Not that means much to you. The rules here work a bit more like some of the video games from Earth. There's monsters and magic and Dungeons and classes and adventures and all that jazz. So yeah, I'll let you process."

Adam hadn't really been paying attention; he had been thrown by the original statement. Not on Earth? This guy was either crazy or full of shit. 

"What the fuck, dude. This better be a really shitty prank. I have work on Monday, I don't have time for this shit. If you're gonna harvest kidneys or whatever, get on with it. Oh shit did that already happen?" Adam quickly lifted his shirt, looking at his stomach for any surgery scars. All he found was the same slightly flabby belly he had had for the last few years. 

"There he goes! Well, I guess I'll just let you figure the next bit out. Since you're pretty alright though, I'll answer three, no four of your questions about this world. Anything else, answers are free. For now." The slightly enigmatic and possibly crazy man said. Adam noted that he did not seem surprised in the slightest by his accusation. 

Before Adam could da ay anything though, he heard a small chime, and a small black box with white script on it appeared before him in the air

you have (6) unread notifications

Oh fuck, now I'm hallucinating. Did they drug me? Adam thought to himself. Fuuuuck, I've never been drugged before. Is this whole thing a hallucination? Adam wasn't very familiar with how actual drug-induced hallucinations worked outside of what he had seen on TV, which he suspected was wrong anyway. He felt lucid, but maybe that was the drugs talking. 

"You really aren't hallucinating." Kendr interrupted Adam's anxiously spiraling thoughts. 

"Shut up, hallucination man, that's exactly what a hallucination would say." Adam shot back, now fully convinced he was, in fact having a very lucid hallucination. Maybe it's some new drug, and they kidnapped me to test it out. I'm basically the ideal target for kidnapping. No family, no real friends outside of the bartenders at the pub he frequented. No girlfriend. He wouldn't be missed. Even his boss wouldn't care. People left the factory he worked at all the time. 

Adam groaned, covering his face with his hands. "Oh, I'm so completely fucked aren't I." He said, not really asking. 

The possible hallucination answered anyway. "I mean, probably. It's not exactly a safe world. Earth is much, much less dangerous to the average inhabitant. Here it's either adapt or die for the most part. Especially since you ended up in the middle of bum fuck nowhere. Getting to civilization is going to suck for you."

Adam sat down. This was a lot to take in. He was pretty sure he was captured and drugged right now, with no way of even telling what was happening around him. So he sat, trying to process it all, wondering what he could do. 

After a few minutes of silent contemplation, slowly calming himself down, Adam had come to a decision. He couldn't really do anything if this was a drugged-up hallucination. So, on the very slim chance that this was actually happening, which as far as he could tell it was, he was going to go along with it. It's not like it could hurt him any more than just sitting still. 

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Finally looking up, he saw Kendr laying flat on his back, floating in mid-air, looking incredibly bored. Noticing Adam looking at him, he turned and sat cross legged, still floating in the air. "Hey, finally get around to accepting your situation? Faster than usual, nice. Well, ask all the questions; I'm ready."

"I…" It's a hallucination; floating is not that weird. "Yeah, I guess. You said something about another world? Like in anime?" 

"Yeah, sure, basically. Congratulations and all that." Kendr nodded.

"So then I'm guessing you brought me here for some reason, yeah?" Adam said, nodding as well. He watched a few isekai anime in his spare time. He assumed that's where this all was coming from. It's not like an escape from his life was an unwelcome idea.

Kendr shook his head. "Nope, you should really read those notifications, though." He said, a massive, slightly creepy grin on his face. 

"Ok?" Adam said, definitely creeped out. "How do I do that?"

Congratulations! You have achieved something truly unique and entered into the wider Realm.

This achievement, and the manner in which it occurred has left a permanent mark on your mind, body, and soul. 

  "What the hell is this supposed to mean?" Adam asked.

"Ehh, I guess I'll count this as a freebie, but only because it's so hilarious," Kendr answered. "You, my one of a kind wonder, fell through reality, and survived. Then you popped back in here. I got so much data on meta cosmic geography from this it'll take me eons to compile it all." He gushed, practically bouncing in the air. "That's not even including all the data produced from you. Someone born on a zero tier world getting shot into a mid-tier world without a god or other universal power to guide you. Man, are you lucky you landed here. If Tia wasn't directly overseeing this world, oh boy, I bet you would be little more than paste. Although, maybe not, since you somehow managed to survive a round trip to the Outside. I can barely do that, and I can face tank a universe exploding like it's a light breeze." 

Adam was glad this was a hallucination; otherwise, he might have been a bit more scared of the man across from him, who thought he could survive a universe exploding.

"What does that even mean?" 

"The Outside is everything else. As in a primordial soup of anything and everything you could possibly imagine, and all the things you can't. It doesn't have rules or limits. Anything from this Realm that tries to go out there usually instantly disintegrates into its constituent parts. The fact that you didn't is something truly unique as far as I know. And trust me, I know a lot. As for the rest of the message, achievements, no matter how unintentional, have rewards. Those rewards will conform to the rules of this universe, seeing as this is your first encounter with Universal Law, but I'm not explaining that, not even if you ask. Figure it out yourself." 

"Ok? I wasn't asking." Adam said, thoroughly confused.

"I know. But I promised you four answers, I'm saying that's not you of them."

"Are you just going to arbitrarily decide not to answer my questions when you don't feel like it?" Adam asked, bemused.

"Ehh, probably. Ask away, though. Or maybe you should actually read all the notifications before you ask questions that might save your life." Kendr replied with a bit of an edge.

I don't think he likes that I didn't listen to him immediately. Oh well. Man, this is a realistic hallucination. Adam thought. More and more, he was starting to doubt that, though. Which was terrifying. He decided to read the rest of the notifications.

Congratulations! You have gained the Epithet: Unintentional Outsider

Congratulations! You have learned the skill: Know the Unknown

Congratulations! You have incorporated the ability: Unusual Attraction

Congratulations! You have accessed the magic: Confined Chaos

Argentia offers you the body class: Outsider's Body 

Wow, that's a whole lot of shit I don't understand. Damn, he was right. Adam did have a lot more questions to ask now. Four answers was starting to sound like not nearly enough. Mulling it over, he figured out what he needed to know first. 

"How important are you exactly? You said I could ask anything about things that don't involve this world." Adam asked carefully. He figured he would treat it like a logic puzzle. Get the most information in the least number of questions.

"Ahh, that's a good question. I see how you got to that. Yes, technically that isn't a question about this world at all." Kendr nodded approvingly. "Well, the answer is, very. As in, probably the most important, right next to my wife. She's the one directly in charge of this particular universe, but the large Realm is my responsibility. So my advice is some valuable stuff. I won't lie to or mislead you either."

"Well, how the heck am I supposed to trust that? I mean, who trusts the guy who says, 'oh yeah, you can totally trust me'? Seriously." Adam said, throwing his hands in the air, giving the floating man a skeptical look. 

"Ha! That's the fun part. I consider it a luck thing. You just have to guess whether or not I'm trustworthy."

Adam rubbed his chin and nodded. That added to the puzzle. Could he trust this guy? The whole flying thing meant he was obviously magical. If everything he said was taken at face value, at least he had no reason to lie. Ultimately, Adam decided, it wouldn't hurt him to at least believe the enigmatic man. Until anything he said was proven wrong. "Ok, then I guess my first real question is, how can I learn what I need to know without asking you?" Adam asked, smirking. The most efficient way to deal with the limited answer issue was to avoid it all together, after all. 

"Oh ho ho. Clever, clever. Pretty open ended, which could bite you in the ass, but I'll be nice. The easiest way would of course be to find a library or another center of learning and read. Most of your basic questions could be answered by any of the people of this world since they are at least generally familiar with the rules here from, you know, living here. For a more esoteric answer, there is a location on this planet called the Caldera of Knowledge that can magically impart knowledge to those who can survive it. But the best answer for you is that the Universal Law here has a help function." Kendr rattled off with a smirk of his own. Adam had the feeling that he was enjoying this.

"Are you going to tell me how to use it?"

Kendr rolled his eyes. "Focus on any of the proper nouns in your notifications. It will give a more detailed explanation."

Unintentional Outsider: 

You have survived bathing in the primordial essence of existence and survived. A feat unique to yourself. For this achievement you are granted one class independent skill, ability, and magic.

Know the Unknown: 

You have seen things beyond belief. This skill allows the learner to understand aspects of reality that they did not previously. Passive: this grants access to the Status Page. Active: Focus on a target to learn more about it. 

Unusual Attraction:

Your body has drowned in the depths of insanity and survived. This ability causes the incorporator to attract the abnormal and weird with their very presence. 

Confined Chaos: 

Your soul has been to a place beyond existence and survived. This magic allows the accessor to gain a small pocket dimension born from their experience. Warning, anything inserted into this dimension will experience a portion of the conditions the user's soul has.

Well, that clarified a bit. In fact, after reading the details, Adam found he actually had a sort of instinctual understanding of his new… "What do you call them all collectively anyway?" He muttered to himself before his eyes widened in horror.

"Oh, I'm glad you asked; collectively, they are referred to as powers. You have two questions remaining." Kendr belted out, a shit eating grin on his face.

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