“Mhm, how about no? Yeah, I’m going to go with no,” I said. Addressing the tableful of world government politicians, world government agency chairpersons, terminus-earth deities, and hyperdimensional authorities.

Hi. It’s Monty here. Everyone's favourite cosmic abomination. I seemed to be having one of those weeks. First, I had three straight days of just absolutely dog shit dates. Nothing but conniving future-divorcees, and weirdos, who definitely weren’t plants sent by the various factions that were watching me and Margot. I did end up running into Maci again but that was mostly because she was still being dogged by her mother.

Then later in the week, I ended up being called to the girl’s school, Watts Academy. Apparently, some little turds had decided to try and bully my girls. Mint and Filomena retaliated in kind and because we’re dealing with juvenile magic-users and superhumans here, the results were as spectacular as they were calamitous. Thankfully no one was hurt, but I did have to sit through a bloody three-hour lecture and pay a quarter of a million dollars to the school to make the problem go away.

Now, as if the week hadn’t been bad enough, the time had come for the various groups and authorities to try and see if they could get me to cede a portion of my rights to Uhrwerk. They’d come in here, speaking in roundabout terms, commiserating over how very understaffed and under-funded, me and Margot were. Then they offered a whole bunch of short-term benefits and bonuses in exchange for a percentage of me and Margot’s 50% claim over our clockwork world.

I’d just politely told them to fuck themselves with a splintery toilet plunger handle. What’s that? That’s not what you heard? Well, then you’re welcome. The context was partially hidden by the hours of bullshit that came before they kindly offered me peanuts in the present so they could screw me in the future. They were the kind of offers that were made with the intention that you not be able to refuse them.

I naturally wasn’t going to waste ink and time writing all that out. Nor was I going to force my secretary to write it out. So let’s just pretend I did and move on.

The table of mortal and immortal powerhouses fell silent. I got a lot of glares and flashes of killing intent from people who were stupid enough to think me an upstart that didn’t know his place. Showing off their ignorance and lack of ability by crudely trying to intimidate me from across the table.

“Now ladies and gentlemen...As fun as all this was, I’m afraid I’ve other things to do, today. So if you’ll excuse me…”

The table froze then there was a staggered flurry of movement as the assistants of the people at the table helped them gather their things, and the group left the conference.

“Mr. Seth...A moment, please?” I said. Calling after Carter Seth.

The silver-haired hero of earth froze. Looking uneasy.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Er...Look. I didn’t know they were going to spring all that on you until a few days ago, and by the time I did know…”

“No. It’s fine. I’m well aware that without you guiding things that they might have done something...unfortunate. Which in turn might have led to me having to retaliate in a similarly unfortunate manner. I just wanted to let you know I appreciate that,” I said. Offering the man an olive branch because he honestly deserved it.

I knew how to discern the good from the bad and Carter had certainly done me a solid by keeping that group of stuffed shirts and blown up egos from trying to make an annoyingly aggressive play.

“Uh...great. That’s good I guess. Does this mean we’re cool for that one incident before?” said Carter. Seeming unsure of what to do with my sudden goodwill.

“Mhm, sure. Why not. You can tell you’re grandfather I’m no longer holding your attempt to modify my fate against you…” I said.

“Sweet. Grandfather will be pleased...He kind of thought you still hated me…” said Carter. Smiling and seeming to relax.

“Oh, I did...but that’s all water under the bridge now, right...Just don’t try that again…” I said. Offering the younger man a smile of my own.

“Er...Of course, not…” said Carter. His own smile grew stiff as he struggled to gauge my mood.

The two of us shook hands. I might have given Carter a shake that was just a tad firmer than it needed to be. Almost fracturing the bones in Carter’s hand.

“Remember...Messing with fate is a messy business, and I’d hate for you to lose the bit of trust and respect you’ve started to build between our families…” I said. Reminding Carter less for his sake and more for the sake of the fools who’d left the room before him.

“R-, Right...No worries there. As you said, we’re no longer at odds, so I really don’t have any reason to even try that anyway” said Carter. Unabashedly wincing and shaking his hand, after I’d let go.

“True enough…” I said. Mulling a few things over and deciding to drop Old Felix Seth a line, later in the day.

The immortal maiden that followed Carter everywhere glared at me and led her young master away.

I teleported away from the conference room and over to my office. Margot was there. Waiting for me as usual.

“You know...One of these days I’m gonna make you deal with those gross old men…”

“Eh?! Less then six years of marriage and the honeymoon’s already over?” said Margot. Half-joking.

“I think five-plus years is long enough for a honeymoon…” I grumbled.

“So...rough meeting?” said Margot. Her tone more serious and her gaze sympathetic.

“Meh...More boring and bullshit than anything else…” I said. Giving my wife a hug and a tender kiss. Pulling away quickly before we both got hot and bothered and ended up doing something that’d probably be very bad for our health.

“Oh...for the love of...really?!” I said. Interrupting myself. 

“What?” said Margot.

“Someone invaded the universe next to Uhrwerk...they’re trying to circumvent the protections we set in place, and sneak an assault fleet past the dimensional barrier…” I said. Feeling hot around the collar as my data-feed picked out a few of the faces of those responsible for the attempted incursion.

“Mhm, you know what, hon...You sit tight. I’ve got this.” said Margot. Gently guiding me to my seat.

“You do?”

“I do,” said Margot. Smiling as she teleported away.

I watched her go and then I frowned as I heard some rumbling overhead and realized that some genius was trying to attack the building. It wasn’t just an attack on Margot and Me. Some self-unaware moron was making a play to take-over terminus-earth.