“Alright, you two be good, you hear?” I said. Handing over two little girls to the Principal of Prospero’s esteemed Watts Academy.

One girl was bronze-skinned, with green hair, and large green eyes. The other girl was ghost pale with black and white hair. According to the paperwork I filed with the school and the state of arcadia, these girls were Mint Kaylan and Filomena Kaylan. They were my dog and the spirit that lived within my piano, now as far as the public record was concerned they were my nieces.

I was initially at a loss when I realized that they’d gained full sentience and humanoid forms, but I quickly adjusted. My peculiarity had landed in me several similar situations, so I had a protocol that I could turn to. Whenever my “me-ness” inadvertently evolved one of my possessions into personhood, my duty was to help adjust to society, which meant mentoring and seeing to their school.

Mentoring was easy for me. I’d simply sent the girls a couple of realistic dreams that would give them experience with living life as normal girls. Mint was the one who needed the dreams the most. She’d been a dog formerly and it would have been a headache for me to have to explain human society to her the normal way. Never mind the whole “don’t eat the other kids”- talk. She was smart enough to understand that much. The awkwardness of explaining clothing to a person who’d gone all their life without was only trumped by the awkwardness of having to explain why one shouldn’t “groom” oneself in public, and I was glad to not have to have that conversation.

Filomena on the other hand, formerly Celestina Filomena Adesso, barely needed the refresher. Before her family’s curse had prevailed upon her and she’d caught their musical disease she’d lived a fairly normal life. Ironically though, she’d been the most keen about getting the dream-based lessons.

She’d lost most of her memories during her time as a ghost and it seemed that a part of her mind had merged with the boss Chorabasnu’s as she’d fought with it. Thus much of her past was muddled. She knew just enough to know that she was missing something as a person. Thus she’d abandoned her old first name and last name, rather than leave the wound raw. Deciding to make a new start for herself as “Filomena”.

“Oh, I’m sure, they’ll be just fine, Mr. Kaylan,” said the Principal. One, Mrs. Terri Short. All smiles as she ushered my girls over to her.

The Principals warm welcome of the girls came from two sources. The more cynical source was that prior to my enrolling the girls in this school the Watts Academy was one of the hundreds of schools throughout the country that had me for a patron and sponsor. While I still hadn’t reached a level of wealth that I considered sufficient to the needs of my and Margot’s future clan, in terms of donations, I’d basically bankrolled a whole bunch of renovations, the construction of a new library, and the cost of the school’s dental plan.

Less cynically, Principal Short had been an educator for over forty-three years and she always had a very strong, very genuine love for the field. Add to this, the fact that I’d made sure that the girls had tested well when applying to the school, so they were here on their own merits as well my money, and there was no reason that she would give them anything less than a warm welcome.

“I hope so, but those girls can be a handful. Are you sure there wasn’t something else I needed to sign? Like an extra contact sheet or something?” I said. Half joking, and half genuine. My anxiety making the pink in my hair shine through.

“No, I think you’ve signed everything you need to, Mr. Kaylan. And don’t worry, our Watts Academy will do right by your girls,” said Principal Short. Patting me on the hand and laughing goodnaturedly, as she spotted my nervousness.

I gave Mint a final pat on the head. I gave Filomena a pat on the shoulder. Then I watched them disappear inside the entrance of the school. Instead of directly teleporting back home, I teleported to the curb outside the DPAA offices. Then I waited. In less then five minutes’ time, a car pulled up. The tinted windows and reinforced chassis giving it away as a certified “spook”-mobile.

It seemed there was someone who wanted to meet with me. After a moment’s thought and a quick text to Margot’s interface in case something went wrong, I decided to get inside the car. The fact that they hadn’t chased me down to the girl’s school made me decide to hear them out instead of calling down a portion of FC-fleet to clean house.

*************************************************************************************************************

Ever have that moment where you’re heading out to some big important thing, but then suddenly you spill your coffee or your pen explodes, and now your clothes are ruined, and you don’t have time to change because this was a thing that you just simply can’t afford to be late for.

I got out of the car, at the venue for my little sitdown with the other side and I realized to my dismay that my clothing was much baggier and much longer than it had been when I’d first worn them. This wasn’t some spell that the other side had cast, this was my fault, a slight case of power incontinent.

My shapeshifting had decided to choose the very worst moment to act up and now I’d gone from being an almost seven-foot-tall man to being a child. I hadn’t just changed ages, I’d changed genders too. I was a little girl. A petite, toffee skinned little girl with dark pink hair. After a moment of panic, I quickly calmed myself, or at least I reached a state where I could pretend to be calm.

Before my feet reached the pavement outside the car, I made sure that my clothes and shoes fit me perfectly. I even used my alchemical-printing abilities to whip up some ribbons for my hair. Telekinetically arranging some pigtails for myself because if I had to randomly be a little girl, I was going to own this shit.

The driver gaped. I ignored his expression, deciding to act as if all was as it should be. I walked into the little cafe I’d been brought to. Noticing several guards and armed persons within the building and its nearest neighbors. My mood grew strangely light as I noticed some snipers mumbling to themselves on the rooftop across the street. Wondering where the man they’d been told to look for had gone and why their co-worker had brought a little girl instead. It was just a little too...extra. Too over the top.

I understand wanting to take precautions but the array of superhuman security personnel that that Cat Sith Company had brought out just felt a little too much. Either I was nowhere as dangerous as they were acting and they could have just handled matters with the personnel within the cafe. Or I was as dangerous they were expecting and they were just going to end up throwing away lives. Either way it was preposterous, it was like a man wearing an armored helmet and body armor to blindly face what either be a guy with a bat, or a nuclear bomb.

I walked inside the cafe and confirmed that, yes, they had indeed bought the place out, emptying the shop of customers and any staff that weren’t secretly a Cat Sith security officer in disguise.

The sole person within the shop that wasn’t CS security agent in disguise was the little old man sitting near the back of the shop. He looked like any old man that you’d see on the streets. Just significantly more posh, dressed in a sweat, oxford blazer and tweed trousers. He wore a pair of shining silver-buckled boots.

The old man had pale skin, wrinkled and almost translucent. Pale enough that I could see the veins beneath his skin. The old man had gray hair and sparkling gray-green eyes still keen with wit and youthful exuberance.

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He also had cat ears and a cat’s tail, but I could see that he’d cast magic that would keep most people from being able to notice them. He sat stirring a cup of tea and munching on a scone in an unconcerned manner. His aura was subdued but there was a purity and vitality to it that made me admire how far the old man’s cultivation had come.

He looked up and saw him freeze and take a double-take before he smiled. I realized that my current form had thrown the old man for a loop took a little satisfaction from that fact.

There was something familiar about that aura. Something that set me at ease. It wasn’t coercive, this relaxed feeling I had was something genuine. Something undeniably wholesome that made it hard to put up my guard against the man, though that doesn’t mean I didn’t manage to still do so. I clucked my tongue and realized that the old man had likely been a chosen hero like his grandson.

This old man was Felix Seth. Grandfather of Carter Seth and one of the powerhouses that supported the Cat Sith company, which all but ruled the world at this point, from the shadows.

“Good morning,” I said.

“Ah, Guten Morgen!” said the old man. Standing to greet me with his arms outstretched. His strange vibe making it oddly hard for my usually contact-averse self from avoiding the man’s greeting. I ended up hugging the old man. His eyes went wide in a way that made it clear that today was one of those rare times where I’d slipped up and revealed a little of my peculiarity, though I doubted it was enough for him to know what I was.

We sat down and he signaled for the “staff” to come and bring a new tea set.

“Greetings, Mr. Kaylan. I hope I find you in good health this morning,” said the old man. He was almost as good at pretending not to be thrown up by my sudden shift in age and gender as I was.

“Why thank you, Mr. Seth. I hope I find you in good health as well.” I answered. My childish voice sounding strange to my ears.

“Ah, I’m as well as an old cat like myself can be,” laughed the old man.

By this point, the staff managed to replace the set on the table and I absentmindedly began to pour myself some tea. I was curious to see if the old man was the sort to try and poison me. I took a sip of the tea and found that besides tasting refreshingly bittersweet, the tea was just ordinary tea.

The old man poured himself a cup as well and dipped one of the frosted scones that had been brought over into it. I took a scone for myself and found them scrumptious enough to do a molecular analysis so I could steal the recipe.

So there we were an old man and a little girl, sipping on tea and munching scones and biscuits like I was his granddaughter.

Eventually, the absurd dissonance between what we were doing and the insane amount of prep-time and planning that had gone into this moment forced me to push my tea aside and say,

“So...I’m assuming you didn’t just invite me to have me try some good tea…”

“Huh? Ah!” said old Felix. Pounding his fist into his palm with an expression of someone who’d genuinely just remembered something.

“Right, that...You beat up my grandson the other day! Don’t you think that’s a bit too stern!? How were you going to compensate me if my clan lost its brightest star? The little bastard’s surrounded by women yet he hasn’t touched a single one yet! Fuck! Is my Seth clan really going to go extinct?! Other clans have to threaten to break their youngun’s third legs to stop them from fooling around, me, I have to go to the temples and burn incense to hope my little shit finds the time to have an accident or two while he’s busy trying to save the world...Litter, Carter, it’s okay to be a hero but dense protagonists can go to hell!” shouted Felix. The old man pointed his finger at me and then flipped me off. Then he continued to wax on, covering to a dozen different topics and looking like he was about to burst into tears.

“....”

I frowned. Wondering if I was really dealing with a centuries-old multi-trillionaire and not some old thug from the local gambling parlor or alehouse. I allowed the man to continue his tirade. At some point, I realized that he seemed to be talking to his grandson rather than to me.

“Oi, old sir?... The point… mind getting to it?” I said. Speaking in a tone that might have been just a tad sharper than it needed to be.

“Ah, sorry...Er, sometimes its good to vent. If you hold too much in it backs up the kidneys…”

“Nh...Sure. Let’s return to the topic of today’s meeting, please…” I said.

“Oh, right...Where was I? Damn it, a few hundred years go by and suddenly your wits go,” said Felix. Clearly barking up the wrong tree by complaining about age to an ageless being.

An act similar to complaining to a fish about drowning.

“Ah, right...Right...Besides yelling at you for roughing up my grandson I wanted to thank you for not killing him or blowing the matter up past the destroying the fate-weaver. I understand completely that my household little Carter was basically courting death. If I’d known, I would have slapped the shit out of him myself. You have my most sincere apologies and I hope you’ll accept this little olive branch from my family to yours…” said the old man. Sliding a manila envelope and folder over.

I accepted the envelope and folder and smiled politely. Inside the folder, was the paper for a stock portfolio associated with several major corporations and roughly thirty billion dollars worth of stock, that had been transferred to my name. Inside the envelope, were the deeds for several thousand miles worth real estate that the Seth family and the Cat Sith Corporation owned, including an Island Chain located in the Pacific.

“Er...Don’t mention it,” I said. Inwardly aware that my biggest reason for not taking things farther after I’d warned Carter and destroyed his artificial loom, was because I hadn’t been in any state to fight all of the Seth family’s forces and allies. Especially since I knew that they had more than a few immortals on their side.

“So the question is where we go from here...First off, it's my understanding that you’ve been a member of the player’s league and you are currently working with the DPAA,” said Felix. Stroking his whiskers and furrowing his brow, as if took some genuine effort to remember these details and he hadn’t just been looking over his dossier on me a few minutes before I walked into the cafe.

“That’s correct…” I said. Taking another sip of tea.

“Hm, then would I be remiss to assume that you neither now nor in the future attempt this world’s peace, prosperity, and growth?” said the old man.

I had to resist rolling my eyes. The old man’s wording seemed innocent enough but I could sense something that bordered on asking for some kind of assurance or magical covenant on the matter, hidden behind his words. I considered giving the man an intentionally vague answer just to twerk the wrinkled brat’s nose for being presumptuous, but I thought better of it. I was here because I was trying to broker a peace between myself and this apparent clan of world-appointed heroes.

“Well, as far as I’m aware this world’s done nothing to gain my ire and after living here for almost five years, I’ve started to lay down roots, so no...I don’t see myself trying to make things any harder for this particular earth, or the universe as a whole…” I said. Drawly.

“Mhm, I thought so,...but kids, you know, they never listen...The world sensed you and informed my boy of an uncertain element. Instead of being sensible and directly asking what you intended, he tried to spy on you and when that failed he assumed that you were up to know good and well, you know the rest ...Not that this excuses anything. I just hope you’ll be understanding should you ever see him again…” said Felix.

With a saccharine smile that showed far too many of my far too predatory teeth, I nodded. I’d understood that part long ago. It was often something like that. Pricks who think they’ve got the world in their palm were often the type to freak out the moment someone showed up didn’t play along.

I generally tried to stay out of worlds that were too peaceful and overly stable because all that peace and stability often had people like Carter in them, “looking after things”. One would think the current changes and upheavals still taking place on this world would keep the lad grounded and aware that he doesn’t have everything under control, but hey, apparently god-complexes were like sex-drives, they often got revved up regardless of the setting.

“Ah, well, mayhaps, it’d be best if your lad doesn’t let me see him any time too soon... Yeah?”

The old cat scrunched his nose, his whiskers shifting one direction then the other. He sighed a little and shook his head slightly.

“Fair enough… I'll remind the boy that august personalities like yourself enjoy their personal space.

“Nh, thank you for that… That isn’t to say that I have anything against the Seths as a whole, or that the idea of occasionally cooperating with your clan at some point in the far or near future would be unpalatable...I’m just nursing a wee grudge against young Carter, after he essentially tried to enslave me twice.” I said.

“Tch, come now, 'enslave' is such a...such a harsh term. It was just a wee bit of fate manipulation. Plus, with how many thousands of years older than him you are, don’t you think that’s a bit petty?” said Felix.

“It’s actually way more than thousands...trillions at the minimum, since I won’t assume he hasn’t had some time travel hijinks jacking up his actual age...I am trillions of years older than your grandson, and that’s kind of the point. I’m not sure if you’re the one old fae who’s gotten more magnanimous with age, rather than getting more particular about who you allow to take your time and mess with you and yours…” I said. Adding a bit of an edge to my words.

“Fair enough, fair enough...No need to get tetchy. I’ll tell the lad to stay out of yer sight for the time being,” said Felix. Huffing. Blowing a hard breath through his mustache. His pointed black-furred ears twitching agitatedly.

“Just for the time being…I won’t be angry forever...You can consider it my way of testing the lad’s self-control,” I said. Throwing the old man a bone.

“Hmph, I’ll make sure the lad understands…” said Felix. Seeming mollified. His triangular ears growing still.

Tea time came to a close. Figuring that we’d talked about everything that needed to be talked over, I got up, walking out of the shop before teleporting home. I was late for work by several minutes, but I figured it’d be fine after months of promptness and punctuality, so I took a few minutes more and modified some more of my clothes to make them fit my little girl frame.