CHAPTER XXXVI
OCTOBER 25TH, 9:39 P.M.
53 HOURS TO INVASION
TOMMY
The fires never stopped. All day and all night, pillars of smoke stretched to the heavens. It turned into a game: predict which ones would die out. They never did.
Tommy sat on the outer wall of St. Grad, idly watching in a cheap, plastic beach chair. It strained under his heavy frame but held up. The letter gave them seventy-two hours, but Tommy wasn’t going to let his guard down. A paragraph on some paper meant nothing to him. Especially one he returned with vulgarity in crayon. At any rate, he didn’t need to sleep. What better way to make use of that specialty than to keep watch.
Footsteps approached.
“Figured you could use some company, my friend.”
Frank arrived, sitting in an identical chair adjacent to Tommy’s.
“I brought that second chair for this exact reason,” he explained. “Stole them off the terrace at my suite.”
“You sit,” Frank said as he settled into the chair. “But you do not need to.”
“I sat because it was a way to fit in. With humans. Did it so much it became a habit.”
“Or perhaps you like it. Does your knees not get tired after a long day?”
“You know, sometimes it feels that way.”
The occasional gunshot in the night and the sound of the sea crashing against the shore. Two conflicting sounds, each with drastically different implications. Tommy desired to focus on the water and let his mind drift. He missed the days back in Boston, the normal life. He’d never thought he’d say that, but it’s true. There was a time he didn’t care for it. War was his life. It’s what he was made for, and it was all he knew. It’s what he was good at, so it’s what he wanted to do. But now, this is different. Maybe it’s because he knows this will change everything. It all won’t go back to normal after this. The country, which equates to the world at this point, is being dragged through the gutter. The end result won’t be pretty, no matter who is the one telling it.
“Seen anything?” Frank asked.
“Nada,” Tommy answered. “That perimeter Rayshe has set up has all of Los Angeles locked down. It’s just stragglers hidden in the city now, sticking to the shadows. They aren’t showing their hand just yet.”
“You are keeping track of the time?”
“About fifty-three hours left right now. Which puts the invasion at two in the morning on Saturday, so, plan your sleep schedule accordingly.”
“Do you think that’s exactly when they’ll attack.”
“Don’t know,” Tommy said. “They might wait till sunrise. We’ll just have to see.”
Frank hummed in response.
“Have you given yourself a break, my friend?”
“I don’t need one.”
“To rest your mind,” Frank clarified. “You tick just like the rest of us. I know that.”
“Is that why you’re here? To tell me to take a break?”
“If that is what you desire. If you want to stay, I will not force you. But at any rate, I would like to stay here with you as well.”
“By all means.”
Frank stretched out his arms, leaning back into the rickety chair. Tommy unholstered his hand cannon, rubbing his thumb along the barrel. In the silence he’s spent with himself, the thought of the little girl returned. It didn’t freeze him like it did before, but it still was unpleasant. He was sure that meant it was a sign that it would soon pass, but it still won’t go away. Each distant gunshot was a reminder. There may be a day where it stops forcing its way into the forefront of his thoughts, but it’ll always be clinging on.
“Something on your mind?”
“Yes,” Tommy admitted. “That little girl at the NLV.”
“Hmm,” Frank hummed, recognizing the gravity of that moment. “You regret it?”
“No, I don’t,” Tommy said. “I believe it was the right thing. I saved a lot of people by doing that. I hate that it had to be her. I knew her, too. Knew of her. Didn’t know who it was in the moment; I’d never seen her before. But I knew Rayshe had a daughter named Maggie.”
“You find yourself responsible for all of this?”
“Not that either,” Tommy continued. “Who that little girl was doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t make it any better or worse who she was. The aftermath is irrelevant. It’s what I did in its purest form that bothers me, justified or not.”
“Life throws us unwinnable situations sometimes. In an instant, you must decide what you think is right and the consequences will be yours to bear forever. You are not to blame. What you found yourself in was unfair. Give it time. Soon you will come to peace.”
“Yeah…”
“If you wish to speak more of it, I will listen.”
“I’d rather not. I’ll do as you said. Let time handle it.”
“Very well.”
Frank looked content as he watched over Los Angeles with him. Something Tommy took note of. Not that he was disturbed by something before, but that he seemed happier than usual.
“What about you, Frankie,” he asked. “You look chipper.”
“That is because I am, my friend.”
“Yeah? Why’s that?”
“I have found an answer to my internal battle.”
Tommy paused. “I don’t know what that means.”
Frank laughed. “I will not lay out all the details, but I have come to terms with the loss of my daughter. And it feels as though a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”
“That’s good Frankie. I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you, Tommy.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“No. Thank you,” Frank repeated.
Tommy looked over at him. “What do you mean?”
“You are the reason why,” he elaborated. “You, Leo, Boone, and Laurel. This journey I have undertaken with you all has turned out to be the best decision I could have made. The comradery I have developed with this team has done wonders for me. I was isolated, hiding myself from the world because I was ashamed. You guys have helped me out of that dark place.”
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Tommy found himself at a loss for words. “I’m glad we could help,” he finally said. Now that he thought of it, he agreed with Frank. This team, his friends, were special to him. He found himself caring about them much more than he ever anticipated. Years ago, stuck inside that secret military base in New Mexico, he would have said that he was a robot and didn’t need friends. Now, he feels… love.
“I think I find myself in the same boat, Frankie.”
“Do say more.”
“I don’t know. It’s strange to me. I grapple with who I really am often. I always saw myself as more than just a machine, but as a person who had feelings and beliefs. But despite that, I thought of myself as, less, somehow. That I may think and feel like everyone else but not on the same level. That I still will never be as much of a man as everyone else. But now, it feels… different. I don’t know if I’ve always felt this way and have just been tuning it out, or if I just hit puberty or something.”
Frank laughed. “And you feel as if this journey has helped you reach this realization.”
“Yeah…” Tommy agreed. “I look at Leo and Laurel, and part of me feels… jealous. It’s like I long to feel the same. I’ve never thought myself capable of love.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a dick.”
“You do not need to have sex to have love, my friend.”
“I’m sure it helps.” Frank chuckled. “That’s how I used to feel, anyway,” Tommy continued.
“Why is it observing Leo and Laurel makes you feel this way?” Frank asked. “Is it because they are in love romantically?”
“I guess,” Tommy said. “But I don’t feel the drive for physical intimacy, obviously. I can’t feel physically.”
“But that is what you have always known as love. Physical intimacy.”
“Right.”
“It is much deeper than that, my friend. Love exists in many forms. In families, friends, with inanimate objects, like a kid’s favorite toy. Or in abstract concepts like your favorite sport. Truth is, what you desire is what you already have. You have love, my friend. We all love you.”
Tommy looked at him. In that moment, he realized Frank was right. He does feel love. He loves them. Leo was his first friend, his best friend, and for the longest time his only friend. Laurel was next. She was like a sister to him. Then the war started, and he connected with hundreds of people, many of which became long-term friends as well. One was sitting right next to him, who never failed to put into words what he was feeling. Frank helped him on his journey to find his humanity more than he could ever imagine. Boone too. Even though they found themselves at odds right now, it still didn’t erase their history. They spent a lot of time as brothers in the war, and he won’t forget that.
Tommy sees it now. He does love. He loves all of them.
“I love you guys too,” Tommy said.
“Come here, my friend.”
They both stood and embraced. Tommy patted him on the back, grateful for everything he’d done for him.
“Thanks, Frankie.”
“Of course,” he replied as they returned to their seats. An explosion erupted downtown. The boom reverberated through the ground and up through the concrete walls. Car alarms echoed.
Frank sighed. “Fuck this shit.”
Tommy was stunned. “WHAT?!” he said, laughing uncontrollably. “Frankie did you just swear?!”
“Yes,” he confirmed, with a smirk of his face. “Fuck this shit!”
Tommy cackled like a maniac. The others would never believe it.
52 HOURS UNTIL INVASION
Laurel slowly ran her index finger across Leo’s skin, tracing over scars from past battles. His body was riddled with them, all over his back, chest, and abdomen. She got a good look at them for the first time, using the moon shining through the sliding glass door as her light. She began making a mental note of each one, trying to predict what might have caused it.
She lay on her side, clutching herself onto Leo’s arm, holding it close into her chest. He laid on his back, keeping weight off his ribs. It had only been a few hours, yet somehow, they seemed less swollen than they were before. He wasn’t lying. She planted her chin into his shoulder, lost in her own world as she admired her lover. His warmth fed into her. Their skin-to-skin contact enhanced the healing he was exuding into her, putting her whole body in a state of relaxation.
Laurel’s tracing led her to his trap muscle near his neck, which bore a deep, long scar. She rubbed that one softy. Leo took notice.
“What’s this from,” she whispered.
“That…” he answered. “Tommy shot me.” She looked up at him with a skeptical expression.
“Tommy shot you?”
“Mhmm.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Are you messing with me?”
“No, no. I’m serious.”
Laurel furrowed her eyebrows, trying to envision a situation where Tommy would have shot him, still not convinced her was telling the truth.
“He was trying to shoot someone behind me,” he explained, gently touching her fingers, joining the exploration.
Laurel smacked her lips. “You’re supposed to lead with that.”
Leo hummed.
“I can fix them for you,” she said. “Your scars.” She held up her index finger. Pink magic glowed at the tip.
“Do you want to fix them?”
She thought for a second. “No,” she determined, putting her hand down on his chest. “I like them.” She kissed his shoulder several times before returning her chin to its rest spot over it. She began tracing again, this time aimlessly up and down his sternum.
“Something on your mind?” he asked.
Laurel lightly tapped her finger on him. “I don’t know.”
Leo reached over, gently stroking her arm and down her side. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She sighed. “I’m not sure.”
“Okay…” he accepted. She moved her hand to his arm now, tracing over veins and massaging the muscle.
“I love you…” she muttered.
“I love you too.”
“This is what I want,” she said. Leo didn’t respond. “This is what I want,” Laurel repeated.
“And you have it,” he assured.
“Do I?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t you?” Leo asked, confused.
Laurel pushed herself up onto her forearms, looking down at him. “This is what I want Leo. I want… this. Within the first month I met you, I knew I wanted to be yours. And now I finally have you. I want to spend my days like this. With you. I want to love you. I want you to make love to me.”
“And I will.”
“That requires you to be alive.”
“Laurel…” he said, rising on his elbows.
“I’m serious,” she said. “In Nepal, you said when this was over, you would travel the world with me. Did you mean it?”
“Of course I did.”
“But you can’t do that if you’re dead,” she stressed.
“Laurel, I don’t want to die,” Leo stated. “I am not trying to die. I worry about you too. I want this too. I don’t want you to die either. But this is unavoidable. We can’t just quit now. We owe that much to the others too. Me and you, we are special people. That gives us a special obligation not to waste it. There’s a lot of people that need our help and yes, it’s dangerous but I promise you I try my hardest to stay alive.”
She looked longingly at him. “I know.” Laurel leaned back down into him. He lifted his arm around her, cradling her into his body while he stroked her back. His fingertips on her bare back soothed her nerves. “I’m just scared. I’m really fucking scared.”
“I’m scared too,” he admitted.
“Promise me you won’t die.”
“I promise,” he assured her.
Laurel wrapped her arm around his torso, squeezing him tight. “Thank you, Leo.” He rolled onto his side, laying face to face with her. “Your ribs?”
“They’re fine,” he dismissed. He reached down with one arm, gripping her thigh and pulling her leg over his waist while the other wrapped under her body and caressed her shoulder. Laurel embraced the contact, burying herself in him, pressing her chest to his. She breathed a sigh of content, putting her worries out of her mind for now to enjoy the moment.
“We should go out to the wall tomorrow,” Laurel said, her voice muffled by his body.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Tommy’s probably driving himself crazy sitting up there alone.”
“Maybe Frank went up there with him.”
“I hope so.”
Laurel kissed into his chest, smiling softly as she did. “You’re good at this,” she exhaled.
“At what?”
“Loving,” she said, dragging her fingernails down his back.
“I wouldn’t say so.”
Laurel frowned. “Why not?”
His response was delayed. “I’m not good with putting my feelings into words.”
“That’s okay,” she comforted him. “You’re a physical touch person. So am I.”
“No, it’s not just that,” Leo continued. “I want to tell you exactly how I feel. How this… how you are important to me. I… struggle, with that. I’d honestly prefer if you just read my mind.”
Laurel unburied herself to look him in the eye. “Mind reading doesn’t just show me what you’re currently thinking,” she explained. “It shows me everything. All of your memories. Every nook and cranny of your brain gets funneled into mine. It’s not pleasant. Especially for you.”
Leo held eye contact with her as if he was debating it. Laurel lifted her hand, glowing with magic.
“I can do it. If you really want me to.”
He bit his lips as he thought about it. “No, it’s fine,” he concluded.
“Good,” she agreed. “I don’t need that anyway.” She pushed loose strands of his hair back into place, holding his head in her hand. Her eyes were half-lidded as she looked at him with a sly smirk. “You don’t need to tell me. Just show me.”
Leo paused, looking her form up and down before accepting the invitation. He tried to reach up and cup her face, but she blocked his arm, rolling him over until she was on top of him. She sat straight up, straddling his waist as she began pulling her hair back. Leo laid there, helplessly admiring her curves in the moonlight. A hair tie shimmered into her hand, which she used to hold up her ponytail.
“I thought you wanted me to show you.”
Laurel playfully rolled her eyes. “I changed my mind.”