CHAPTER 18
OCTOBER 21ST, 15 MINUTES EARLIER
--BOONE--
The sunshine felt brighter. The air felt lighter. The little tree in the front yard looked stronger. Life felt better for Boone. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he set down in front of his home in Chicago. He was riding high, and he couldn’t wait to tell Miriam all about it. Finally, for the first time in a long time, he had a win. One good mission down, two more to go. He was proud of himself; something to be excited about again. The usual dread before his visit was replaced with eagerness. He wasn’t torn to see her and be reminded of her condition, rather he was anticipating her conversation. Even if was only temporary, he was able to tune out the stress and go see his wife just like everything was normal.
Boone entered his home, which now seemed more inviting that before. He made the short walk to the bedroom where Miriam lay awake, connected to an array of machines and computers that monitor her health. She seemed livelier than the last time he saw her, smiling when she saw him.
“You’re back?” she said.
“Yeah, of course,” Boone replied, grinning harder than he ever had in the last 5 years. “You thought I wouldn’t be back?”
“Not so soon,” she clarified. “And not so chipper, either.” Her dull eyes scanned her husband with cheerful suspicion. “What’s got you all smiley?”
“Happy to see you,” he started. Boone put his hands in his pockets, slowly walking towards the bedside. “And I got some things to tell you.”
“Hmm, so I assume it went well?” she asked.
“Mhmm.”
“Are you going to tell me about it?”
“Sure.”
She sarcastically rolled her eyes at Boone’s short responses.
“Well, pull up a chair then,” she said. “Tell me about it. It’s not like I’m going anywhere. And since you’re not here at two in the morning, I might actually be able to stay awake for everything.” He did as she said, pulling a large couch chair from the corner of the room across the carpet and planting it next to her bed. The heart monitor beat rhythmically as Boone settled into his seat. He leaned back, crossing one leg over the other as he studied Miriam’s face. She looked at him with the same wonder she always did, no matter how sick she felt. Her face still bore a persona of positivity even with her life backed into a corner. It was inspiring to Boone. It made him see the bright side of things; it could always be worse, after all. She stared at him, waiting for the story to start.
“You first,” he said.
“Me?”
“Yeah, you. What’s been going on?”
She scoffed. “What could be going on with me?”
“You mean to tell me that you lay here all day long as think about nothing?” Boone said.
“Of course not,” she said, smacking her lips.
“So tell me what’s rattling around in your brain.”
“It can’t possibly be more entertaining that what you have going on.”
“I don’t care,” he insisted. “I want to hear about it.” She smiled sincerely in response. Boone understood now that this is how he should have been with her from the start of her diagnosis. All this time, he had been the one depressed, with Miriam trying to lift his spirits. He knew it was selfish of him and unfair to her. Seeing how much better she looks just by a mood change from Boone was all the evidence he needed to keep this new perspective.
“I’ve been keeping up with the news lately,” she said.
“The Rayshe whistleblower, you mean?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she answered. “I always liked politics when stuff like this happens.”
“What? Corruption?” he joked.
“Well, when you say it like that it sounds bad,” she giggled. “I mean that politics are a bore to me. At least with this there’s something interesting to hear about.” Boone looked up at his eyebrows while he realized the validity of her argument.
“Yeah, I guess so,” he said.
“Yeah…” she said, “there’s that.” Her voice trailed off as she thought of what to say next.
“Oh, you know the nurse that visits? Amy?” she asked.
“Yeah, Nurse Amy.”
“I’m her first patient. Like ever.”
“Really?” Boone said surprised.
“That’s what I said. I was like ‘You’re pretty good at this for a rookie.’” Miriam giggled.
“I wouldn’t have guessed,” Boone added. “She seems a little on the older side.”
“Right?” she agreed. “I would’ve said around 27-28.”
“Medical school does take a while huh?” he commented.
“Mmm, that’s true. Didn’t think of that.” The beeping of the heart monitor retook center stage of the room as they both went quiet.
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“That’s all you got?” Boone asked.
Miriam laughed. “Boone, I don’t do anything all day.”
“When this is done with, we’re taking a vacation.”
“Really?” she asked, suprised. “Where?”
“I don’t know. Wherever you want. And I promise I won’t sit around and sulk all day while you have fun.”
“Oh, thank god,” she smiled. “I can’t do another Alaska.”
“You know why I was like that…”
“I know, I know. I’m n-“
“Let’s not get into that,” he stated.
“Right…” Miriam agreed. “Well, anyways. That sounds nice.”
She smiled at his nice gesture, as that was all it was. She of all people knew the severity of her situation. But she also knew that there wasn’t a point to being pessimistic either. It was fun to dream about a life void of worry and illness, to dream about the memories she’d made through her years. Having the memories to look back on is what reminds her that she had a good life.
“You’re turn,” she said finally.
“Right,” he collected himself, gathering where to begin his story. “Not too long after Regis’ assassination, which, we saw.”
“Still can’t believe that,” she interjected.
“Me neither,” Boone agreed. “Well, soon after that, Tommy gave me a call. Him and Leo were there that night. Saw everything. They suspected foul play and were going to get some answers. So, they asked me to join them.”
“You told me that already,” she interrupted.
“Oh, I did?”
“Yeah. But whatever. Do you find out who did it?” she asked.
“We suspected it was Rayshe, and after a visit to the director of the CIA, we were proven right.”
“The whistleblower was telling the truth…” her face bore a perplexed expression as she processed that information.
“Yeah, and that ‘whistleblower’ happens to be Frank.”
“Frank?”
“Yeah, remember I said he slipped into the White House? He grabbed those documents and leaked them.” Boone said with a grin.
“That’s awesome B,” Miriam said. The next parts of the story began replaying in his head. He would rather not explain Roger’s death, or the unpleasant reanimation of Regis.
“So, one thing led to another. We ended up in Nepal, that’s where we were going, by the way. We found what we were looking for. One part of it anyway,” he said, omitting much of the details.
“What was in Nepal?” she asked.
“Uhh,” he stalled as he tried to think of an easy way to explain. “There are these pieces of something we’re calling the key. Rayshe is looking for it and already found one in Nepal. We went there and stole it from him, now we need to find the rest before he does.”
An uncomfortable silence followed. Miriam stared at him with a face that almost seemed confused; hurt even.
“Why?” she asked.
“Why? Because he’s going to use it to invade another world.” He waited for her response, but she just kept staring at him with that look.
“Rayshe is trying to save us, Boone.” Miriam’s voice was shaky. The beeping from the heart monitor sped up.
“Save us?” Boone started, now worried that he upset her somehow. “Miriam, he wants to invade another planet. Wipe them out.”
“But it’s to save Earth,” she stressed. “We need to do this to survive.”
“No, Miriam- “
“What do you mean no?”
He stuttered. “Rayshe wants to kill a lot of people. We’re going to stop him.”
“And what?” she said, her voice beginning to elevate. “We just lay down and die?”
“What are you even talking about?” Boone asked.
“Why would you try to stop someone who is trying to help us?” she pleaded.
“This isn’t the way,” he said, trying to deescalate the situation. “There is always another option.”
“So you’re ok with me dying?”
“What!?” Boone said, completely taken aback by her comment. “Not at all, why would you say that?”
“I’m dying because we’re out of resources here on Earth,” she said, her heart monitor now beeping even faster. “Rayshe is fixing that. He’s saving our planet.”
“And you’re ok with mass genocide?”
“That’s not what it is, Boone.”
“What else could it possibly be?”
“This is how survival works!” she said, now nearly yelling. “This is how it has always worked. We have what we have because we fought for it. Countries and land were fought for.”
“This isn’t medieval times, Miriam,” Boone’s voice raised as well. “Things change, that’s not how it works anymore.”
“Why are you mocking me?”
“I’m not! How am I mocking you?”
“Why are you ok with me dying?”
“Why do you keep saying that?!” Boone yelled, standing up from his chair.
“Because you are trying to stop Rayshe when all he is trying to do is save people like me.” Tears streamed from her face. “Why have you been so angry with me lately?”
“I’m fucking stressed out Miriam! You don’t understand what I have going on right now!”
“You’re stressed out!?”
“Yes I’m fucking stressed out!”
“Really? You are? I’m fucking stressed Boone!” Her heart rate monitor beeped erratically. “I’m fucking dying! ‘You don’t understand what I have going on’,” she mocked him. “What you should have going on is i’m dying but you don’t seem to care!”
“What is wrong with you?!” Boone yelled.
“Oh so you forgot?”
“Why are you acting like this?!”
“Like what? A bitch?”
“Your words, not mine!” Miriam looked away, face stained with tears, clenching her jaw tight.
“You’ve been like this for months now!” Boone scolded.
“What could I have possibly done?”
“Just the other day you flipped your shit when all I did was mention another woman.”
“That is not what I did Boone!”
“Yes! It one hundred percent is what you did! You got jealous and flipped your shit!”
“Yeah, I am jealous.”
“At least your honest!”
“I’m jealous of her because she’s fucking alive, Boone! She’s got a life ahead of her. And I’m sure she’s young and pretty and happy, god I fucking wish! That’s all I want. To keep living. And you’re trying to take that away from me!”
“Miriam…”
“This whole time I thought you were out trying to help people but you’re doing the exact opposite.”
“It is not the opposite! You are just being delusional!”
"Maybe I could still live if you were actually trying to help me!”
“It’s too late for you Miriam!” Boone shouted. She gasped, her eyes were fountains as the EKG beat rapidly. “You’re being so unfair right now! I am trying to help people!”
“Why would you choose them over us?!” she said, now sobbing through her words.
“It’s not that simple! It’s not black and white!”
“What is it then Boone!? Huh!?”
“Why are you being like this?”
“Why?” She averted her eyes, no longer able to look at him. “You’re saving strangers over your own people.”
“They deserve to live just as much as anyone else! You’re not thinking straight!”
“Sure.” she said, fed up.
“But we’re fine! We are fine!” He yelled. “Sure, we’re not doing so good right now, but we will recover, and everything will be better. It takes some time but annihilating another world to expedite that is not the answer.”
“You wouldn’t understand!” she yelled back at him.
“Actually, I understand perfectly! You’re irrational because you are sick and desperate and maybe if you could see things from my perspective, you would realize that you’re wrong!”
Miriam put her hand over her mouth, trying to suppress her sobs. Her heart monitor beeped at a concerning rate. Seeing her like this made Boone realize how he had just yelled at her. Made him realize some of the hurtful things he just said. He wrenched at his heart to think that he made her cry, but he couldn’t apologize. He was too worked up. He couldn’t let down his side of the argument. His pride wouldn’t let him, even though all he wanted to do right now was throw all this away and say sorry.
Boone gritted his teeth. His fist clenched as the internal conflict of pride and regret raged through him. Before him, his sick wife cried because of him. She couldn’t bring herself to speak as emotions overwhelmed her. Her rock, the person she relied on to escape from her fate betrayed that very purpose and vehemently reminded her of her impending death. Accused her of being confused, irrational, and blinded.
Boone tried to say something to alleviate the situation, to take back what he said. But he couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come out. The path to correction of this seemed unobtainable. He had no words to say, and he couldn’t bear to see her like that any longer. Abruptly and swiftly, he walked away, leaving his heartbroken wife behind.