"Alright..." The therapist, Dr- something or other- began, clearing his throat, his gaze flicking between Lily and me, "I'm sure that by now you girls already know what I'm about to say, and I understand it isn't exactly something you two want to be doing, but-"

I cut him off. "No, I won't do it. I'm sick and tired of this stupid 'exercise' of yours, it never helps, it upsets Lily and sets me off. So what if you say we're 'codependent'? You don't get it, and you never will, nobody will."

Lily squeezed my hand tighter, her innocent blue eyes met mine and she shuffled somehow closer to me on the plush couch. She was getting anxious, and anxious wasn't a look I ever wanted to see on her face again. I made a promise back then, a promise to keep her safe, what kind of friend would I be if I stopped now?

"I understand why you feel that way, Emily, but-"

"No." I cut him off again, "No, you don't understand, stop pretending you do, you'll never understand. You weren't there, you never met her, never had to spend your days locked away in a basement wondering if you'll get food today, wondering if you'll be punished or forgotten. Don't fucking tell me you understand!"

He sighed silently, facing away from us so that we wouldn't see, but I did, and I think Lily did too. It would make sense if she did; reading body language, and noticing patterns in behaviour, that's something we had to get very good at very quickly if we wanted to get by unscathed.

Speaking of Lily... My attention instinctively zoned in on her once again. I know she always told me it was different when I yelled but... I couldn't help but worry about her reaction anyway. Our ankles were locked around each other's, and her fingers intertwined with mine as she huddled as close as possible to me. Thank God I didn't scare her. I kept a gentle yet tight hold of her hand in my right, while my left hand wrapped around her pale shoulders comfortingly.

She peeked out from behind her light blonde hair, meeting my gaze once again. She doesn't talk much in therapy- or anywhere else where other people are around, for that matter, but she didn't need to, I knew what she was trying to convey. Neither of us wanted to do this.

The small, yellow clock on the wall ticked softly, counting the seconds and filling the silence, before the therapist spoke again, "You're right, Emily, I wasn't there. What you girls went through is something no child- or adult for that matter, should ever have to deal with." He conceded, pushing his glasses up onto his square nose, "When I said I understand, what I meant was that I empathise with the two of you. Now, I know that you, Emily, are not one for sympathy, or 'pity' as you refer to it, and that isn't what I am trying to do here. You two have been seeing me for five years now, and both of you have come so far in that time. I'm not trying to make either of you uncomfortable, but you must understand that sometimes, in order for the wound to heal, you have to remove the band-aid."

I don't answer. There's nothing I could say. I knew he was right- or at least I assumed he was, he had a licence for this crap after all, but that didn't mean I had to like it, and it certainly didn't mean I would put Lily's comfort at stake for a silly exercise. Taking Lily with me, I leaned back on the couch, looking away from him and around the open yet suffocating room. Lily tried to meet my gaze, but, for the moment, I couldn't. With a gentle squeeze of my hand, I reassured her I was still there for her, and attempted to gather my scattered thoughts.

Habitually, sable eyes fixed onto the light, greyish-blue fabric of my hoodie sleeve, tracing with my eyes alone the scars hiding underneath, marring my darkish skin like the strokes of a cruel artist's brush on a once perfectly blank canvas. I didn't need to be able to see them to know where they were, I knew well the location of each and every one, both on my and Lily's bodies.

Lily's hand left mine and found its way to my knee, forcing me to look at her. Her eyes searched mine and her features softened. "I'm fine, kid." I muttered quietly, not that I thought she believed me, the look on her face spoke volumes. We sat there for a full minute in complete silence except for the quiet ticking of the clock or the occasional sounds of other people outside finishing up their sessions and leaving the building. The therapist didn't interrupt, he knew us well at this point, even if I didn't want to admit it. He knew our trauma and our coping mechanisms. He knew things Lily's folks didn't, he knew how we both ticked, which was a level of vulnerability that I really wasn't comfortable with. Still, I could appreciate the occasional benefits that arose from it. Being allowed to just sit in silence, blocking out the rest of the world... It sounds a little pointless, but it was something we both needed.

"Fine." I relented, turning back to the ageing features of the therapist. "But only if Lily's okay with it."

He nodded and looked back over at Lily with soft yet questioning eyes, who, in response, unintentionally dug her painted fingernails into my knee for stability. I winced slightly and she immediately glanced down at her hand. Upon realising what she was doing, her face contorted with guilt. She offered me an 'I'm so sorry' look, quickly removing her claws from my skin and throwing her arms around me.

"It's fine, kid, you didn't mean to," I said, rubbing her back, tracing circles into her shirt. "You down to give this another try? I'll be right outside the door, I won't leave, I promise."

Her grip on me tightened, and she looked down, scuffing her shoes against the worn cream-coloured carpet. Eventually, she looked back up at me, giving me a tiny, nervous smile, then turned back to the therapist and answered his silent question with her own silent nod.

"Thank you, Lily." He said softly as she buried her face into my shoulder, taking deep, predatory breaths. "I understand neither of you like this exercise... but it is important, you are both so incredibly brave, just ten seconds, then, we can debrief and call it a day."

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Lily slowly sat back, her hand reluctantly leaving mine, while I offered the therapist a small nod. 10 seconds, I can do that- Lily can do that, we've been separated for much longer before. Then again, the thought of leaving Lily not alone, but alone with another person, even one I know well, it put a bad taste in my mouth. "Okay..." I breathed out, running a hand through my textured hair, "You ready, kid?"

She hesitated, those endless pools of blue she calls eyes looking me over, reading my thoughts, then she nodded again, but only once this time, with a worried smile.

I stood up, leaving Lily sitting on the couch, already feeling the need to reach out and take her hand, the need to keep her safe from the monsters out there who would hurt her. "Thank you, girls. Emily, I'm going to ask you to stand outside the door, just for ten seconds, that's all, then you can come back in. Lily, we are going to stay together, and focus on your breathing, just like we practised, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, we know the drill, doc." I said, looking Lily over once more and giving her a slight smile and making my way to the door.

My hand hesitated on the metal door handle for a moment, that instinct I've had since I was eleven-years-old, the one telling me to protect Lily and keep her safe no matter what, already flooding my mind. She'll be fine, I reminded myself, she's strong. We've survived hell on earth together, we can survive five seconds of being separated by a door.

Shoving the thoughts aside, at least for the moment, I opened the door and stepped out into the scarily empty hall. I don't know what it is about therapy buildings but there is an eerie quality to them. The rooms themselves are so bright and 'welcoming', like stepping into a hug or something equally trapping, but the halls connecting them are just- dead. There was nobody out there but me. There was little furniture, and it was so quiet that you could have heard a dropped feather hitting the scratchy carpet, and the flickering overhead lights only added to the haunted vibe.

It reminded me of those cliché horror movies Vanessa used to put on to cover up the sounds of our screams. The ones that take place in some abandoned mansion or castle or some other corny bullshit, where the characters split up and die because of it.

"You sure you're ready kid?" I asked, turning back to look at Lily, her fists already tightly gripping the seat of the couch. The therapist sat next to her, keeping a respectable distance while still being there to do my job, to be a person she can lean on. Her tiny, albeit hesitant, nod was the confirmation I needed, and I closed the door, hearing the small click as it sealed, separating us. Ten seconds, we can do this...

One. Silence, just me, my thoughts and this empty hallway.

Two. I could hear the therapist uttering praise and words of assurance to Lily.

Three. Lily's breathing was picking up- what's going on? Is she okay?

Four. My hand finds the door handle, my own breathing picking up as I heard Lily's muffled tear-filled whispers. What if she's hurt? I can't do this, I have to keep her safe, I have to go back.

Five. My hand came away from the door. No, we needed to do this, I needed to do this.

Six. The muffled voices from inside the office got louder, Lily was upset, and the therapist was reminding her to breathe.

Seven. My heart pounded in my chest as if I had run a marathon. She's upset, she can't be upset!

Eight. Once again, my hand found its way to the handle. She needs me, I need her.

Nine. This has to have been the longest ten seconds of my life. Why is it taking so long?!

Ten. "Emily!" Lily's voice rang out the moment I opened the door. She ran over to me, practically flinging her arms around me, crying into my neck. I returned the gesture, resting my head on her shoulder, my body relaxing in an instant knowing she is back where I can protect her.

"It's alright, kid, it's okay" I said, rubbing her back soothingly and holding her tightly to my body, as if it were the last time I would ever see her. "It's all over now, we did it."

The therapist walked the short distance over to us, and had a proud smile plastered firmly on his face. He gestured for us to sit back down, and congratulated us, but I wasn't really listening. Feeling Lily's warm body in my arms and being able to smell the sweet coconut scent of her hair, that's all that mattered to me.

----------------□----------------

"Well, that sucked." Lily exclaimed, flopping down onto the bench outside of the building while we waited for her parents to come pick us up.

The sight made me chuckle quietly as I moved to join her. "Yeah, tell me about it. Therapy's a real bitch." I stuck my hand in my pocket, shuffling around until I found the box of cigarettes and a light. Lily's folks didn't know I smoked, and I intended to keep it that way- the last thing I needed was to be sat down and lectured at for an hour by two people who are my parents only in legal name.

As I lit my cigarette, Lily shot me a disapproving glare. She didn't like it when I smoked either, but she understood my reasoning. "I know, I know. I'm hurting my body. I'll quit eventually Kid, I promise, just not today."

She sighed and looked away, leaning her back against my shoulder as I took a drag and she watched the leaves fall from around us. "I just... worry about you, Em, that's all."

"You don't need to worry about me Lily."

"Maybe not, but I do anyways... You make yourself out to be so strong but-" She trailed off. We both sat there for a while, the smoke entering and exiting my lungs filling me with a sense of calm. The birds chirped around us, and in the park across the street children were playing football, their laughter echoing in the autumn breeze. "Hey, Em?"

"Yeah, Kid?"

"Do you... do you ever think about- you know- her?"

"Who, Vanessa?" I asked, exhaling a plume of smoke, knowing full well that Lily never spoke her name out loud. She nodded.

I paused, flicking away some Ash. "Sometimes... Why?"

The back of her head met the side of my own as she leaned back, fidgeting with the sleeves of her shirt, her gaze fixed on some far away point. "I don't know. I try not to but- it's hard and," She paused, biting her lip, "and ever since yesterday, I've just had this feeling. I- I can't describe it, it's just- it feels like she's still here somehow, watching us... But that's crazy, right? I mean she's in prison."

Her words made me wince internally, the realization that I never got around to telling her what I had discovered last night came rushing back to me at once. How did I forget? I planned on telling her- I guess I just got caught up in everything- still, it's unlike me, how could I forget to tell her something so vital? I need to stop lying to myself, I didn't forget, I didn't want to tell her. Lily has always been so... fragile, even back then, I wanted to protect her but- that's not my call to make, especially when it comes to this. No, she needed to know.

With a deep breath, I decided to just get it out of the way, and finally tell Lily the news that had been plaguing my mind all day. "Not to worry you, Kid but I heard she's out on parole now."