Danny sat at the porch of the house that he had lived in for the last week. His former companions had left him just a few minutes earlier, but Danny did not move from that same spot ever since then, merely sitting down as the time passed.
Danny had his face lifted, his gaze directed towards the stars, but his eyes were not looking at anything in particular, his stare unfocused. He had many things on his mind right now, and was caught up thinking over the matters of the present and past.
Was there anything he could have done differently? Would it have turned out better if he did? No one would be able to tell. Life did not give anyone second chances. Humans only lived once, therefore there was no optimal path to take. A choice that appeared to be the correct one at a moment in time could have terrible consequences later on and vice-versa.
Should he had known the demon would make things difficult for him this time as he always did in the past? Should he had been more forthcoming with the others? Danny felt that given Carl’s violent reaction to the demon’s apparition, that might have ended up poorly as well.
The milk was already spilt, there was no point crying over it now. All the secrecy surrounding Danny and his mysteriousness added up on the minds of his former friends, transforming him into something that they could not understand. Often times, humans themselves were the creators of their scariest nightmares and most terrifying monsters. Danny wasn't someone that meant them harm nor was him someone beyond their understanding, however, the fact that they did not know who and what they were dealing with was the main factor responsible for invoking their apprehension and mistrust.
Life was unpredictable. Sometimes circumstances are the most important element in determining an outcome. Maybe if he had spoken with them while tensions were on the lower side, things could have ended up better, or even if they parted ways anyway, they could have done so in friendlier terms. That was a question that would remain forever unanswered.
There was also the matter regarding the demon. Danny thought he had his guard up against Tutu, but he still underestimated the demon in the end. Carl’s betrayal and the other’s abandonment following that was something entirely decided by themselves, true, but Tutu was the one who had set the stage for that to play out as it did.
Timing was everything sometimes and would be the deciding factor whether the balance would hang towards one side or the other. Danny had no intention to keep them in the dark forever about his haunt, and planned to tell them everything whenever he felt the time was right. Now, however, he would never get the chance.
The events that transpired were a stark reminder that the demon was not on his side. Danny had fell into the trap of thinking their newly established relationship as something akin to two neutral parties taking what they needed from one another in some kind of business relationship. That Tutu would be indifferent towards his agenda so long he fulfilled the demon’s pact.
However, that was not exactly right. Tutu was not a benevolent creature. He was sadistic and cruel. At least in Danny’s opinion. An opinion formed by multiple years of agony and torment.
It could not be said that Tutu had violated their agreement by doing what he did, but he still managed to sabotage Danny’s plans anyway. If one examined the situation close enough, Tutu had merely appeared in a very inopportune moment prompted by the ritual that Danny himself performed. In a sense, one could say that it was Danny’s own fault that things turned out the way they did.
Even so, Danny knew how manipulative the demon could be, so there was no doubt on his mind that Tutu had purposely set in motion those chains of events. He did not know why the demon would want to do that though.
Danny was even suspicious about that soul crushing pain he had felt before. He was not sure whether or not that was how it was supposed to go whenever he was running late on his ‘payment’, or if the demon had meddled with the process in order to apply more pressure to Danny and force him to make a rushed decision.
Either way, it did not matter whether he would have made other choices if he knew of these pieces of information beforehand. There was no ‘ifs’ in life and no do-overs. What was done was done and now Danny would have to live with the result of his choices.
As he sat there in quiet contemplation, Danny started to softly sing:
♪ There is someone, walking behind you
Turn around, look at me
There is someone, watching your footsteps,
Turn around, look at me… ♪
Trough the years, whenever Danny found himself in a difficult spot or felt conflicted, he would immerse himself in music. As was already stated before, there was an intrinsic relationship between Danny’s memories and songs – no doubt a product from the life he lived, given the fact that his mother was a singer and he wielded music as a shield against his personal demon for most of his life – thus, Danny often made use of songs to both remind himself of important life lessons and to stabilize his emotions.
As it was with many things in this world, Danny felt that balance was key to success. It was only human nature to avoid pain and suffering while chasing pleasure and comfort. However, too much of a good thing might be a bad thing as well as a little bit of a bad thing could be a good thing.
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If one submerged themselves in pleasure, the bliss could lead that person to stagnate. So content with their own lot in life, someone that was happy with their circumstances could stop striving to improve, wallowing in mediocrity. On the other hand, a little bit of suffering could be a powerful motivator to induce people to seek change. Moreso, too much suffering could break a person's spirit, while a healthy amount of pleasure could stoke their inner ambitions and stimulate their progress. Thus, keeping a good balance was very important. Danny knew that very well.
In Danny’s life, the biggest source of pain was undoubtedly the demon, while his strongest source of comfort was his mother. Therefore, Danny would often take time to remember one or the other – depending on his mood – as a form of reminding himself to never stop moving forward and to never give up. One of the most common ways Danny did that was listening to music or singing.
This particular song was one Danny heard during his childhood not long after his mother died. He remembered the event very clearly.
It was one of the darkest moments in his life, and his outlook on his own future never seemed more hopeless. He could clearly recall hearing the lyrics in passing while walking near a wedding celebration, not far from the orphanage he was getting accustomed to live in.
The wedded couple were dancing to the tune as if the words painted the most romantic of messages, while at the same time Danny started crying and breaking down not far away. He didn't remember how he got back to the orphanage that day, but Danny clearly recalled the contrast between the smiling husband and wife and his own poor visage.
Both the happy couple and Danny were at the same place, same time and hearing the same music, however their reactions couldn't be more different. Their circumstances couldn’t be more different. Life wasn't fair. To this day Danny couldn't understand how someone could see this particular song as anything love-related, blind to the fact that the words clearly described a stalker. Alas, Danny supposed that what one saw and heard was determined by the experiences they lived and the context of their own experiences.
At this moment, as he remained alone at the entrance of the house he once shared with his former allies, Danny couldn't help but recall this song, both as a reminder to himself that he was very different from other people, and to tell himself that the demon was not his friend, not his ally, not someone that was on his side. He was a source of suffering, so Danny should not, and could not, get comfortable with their new arrangement just because it opened new doors to him and allowed him to have more control and freedom over his life. He had to keep moving forward. Always forward.
As the words of the song harmoniously left his lips, Danny could feel his inner turmoil stabilizing. There was no more rage, no more indignance, no more regret. Only burning resolve to keep going remained. It was almost as if Danny was performing a rite of passage for the now dead and buried relationship he had developed with his fellow survivors.
As soon as Danny felt that he was ready to move on he stood up and dusted his leather trousers.
“May you find luck in you new path.” Danny wished his former companions the best, fully meaning it, before turning around and heading towards the bedroom he had left Tutu in. He already had paid the price and now there were questions to be asked.
Hopefully, now that the calamity had already made itself apparent, the demon could be more straightforward with his answers and limit Danny’s own guesswork. Hopefully.
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SLAP!
The sound of Janice’s hand making intimate contact with Carl’s face resounded throughout the house.
After parting ways with Danny, the group walked among the already explored streets without making too much noise and avoiding the occasional zombie group that they had not managed to eliminate so far.
After a few minutes of that, the group managed to uneventfully reach a somewhat defensible house that they had elected on the spot as a temporary shelter for the night, before they decided their next steps on the following day.
During the whole process of getting there and, following that, checking the house for security breaches or possible zombies inside, the group had barely exchanged any words, much less talked about the previous events. They all understood there was a time and place for everything and when they were vulnerable to attacks was definitely not it.
However, as soon as they made sure that they were relatively safe for the time being, Janice made way towards her boyfriend in brisk steps, before taking the weapons from his hands and mercilessly slapping him across the face. Hard.
When Carl saw Janice approaching him with fury in her eyes, he knew he was in for a world of trouble, but he made no effort to dodge. He had made his bed and now was time to lie in it. He had already made his mind to take her punishment staunchly, but he could not help but whimper as he felt the sting on his cheek. Janice had not pulled any of her strength out of that, putting everything she had behind that slap.
“That hurt a lot Jan.” Carl stated the obvious while massaging the burning spot. He had no doubt that her hand should be hurting just as bad after that hit.
“Explain yourself. NOW.” Janice demanded, leaving no room for objection.
“I intended to do so anyway. Calm down, I will tell you everything.” Carl said, making sure she knew he would comply with her demands.
Seeing Carl being so cooperative dowsed a little bit of the rage that burned inside her chest. Nonetheless, she was still incredibly furious. She hated everything about that situation and the position she found herself in.
Janice was the one that had the best relationship with Danny in their group. She had viewed him very favorably and was incredibly grateful for all the help he had provided so far. The fact that her own boyfriend was the one responsible for the split of their group and that he had done it in such a brutish way only made it worse. On top of that, her best friend who had a crush on Danny – the person she loved the most in this life, besides her family, and viewed as a true sister –was forced to decide between them. She felt both responsible and ashamed for placing this burden over her friend’s shoulders.
However, despite all that, what she felt the most indignant of was that Carl had forced his choice on them. She treasured her freedom above all and was raised by her parents to be a strong independent woman. That anger was directed towards herself though since she was the one to choose Carl as a partner.
She thought she was a good judge of character and felt that Carl understood that part of her and respected this fundamental value, but given how he had just pissed all over their opinions and forced his own decision on top of everyone’s head, she was clearly as blind as a bat.
Carl better have a damn good reason for what he did. Janice had already consigned herself to dump his ass, she just was not sure if she was going to stab him as well.