When Danny followed Carl to the living room, he was faced with a gun barrel pointing at his direction. At the very first moment Danny stepped into the room he could already see that the situation was way out of hand and beyond salvation.
“Do not get any closer Danny, I do not want to harm you”. Carl said with in an uneasy tone, looking behind Danny as if dreading the monstrosity he had witnessed before would follow his former friend and end them all.
“Carl! What the fuck you are doing?!” Janice yelled at him.
“Stay out of this Janice!” Carl answered her without taking his eyes off Danny.
“Are you completely out of your mind?! Danny is…” Janice could not finish her sentence before Carl interrupted her abruptly.
“You did not see what I have Jan! There is something wrong with him!” Carl yelled while frowning, he felt that they had to get out of there immediately. No matter what that thing was, he doubted he could protect Janice, Chris and even himself from it.
“What do you mean?” Jane asked apprehensively. All the members of their improvised team, gathered by circumstances, were already present and were watching the scene while portraying mixed emotions like fear, mistrust, apprehension and doubt.
Everything was so calm just a few moments ago. They could not understand how Carl could go from that to complete hostility in a matter of minutes, and that without them even noticing anything off before he came running into the room and grabbed a pistol from within one of the bags containing their loot that they left lying around at this central gathering spot.
“That is a good question. Care to explain yourself Danny?” Carl asked while motioning with his pointed gun.
“Does it even matter? Would you believe anything I say right now?” Danny retorted calmly. He knew that they were beyond the scope of something the mere exchange of words could resolve.
“You could always try at the very least” Carl persuaded.
Danny merely shook his head, showing his stance. Now that things reached this stage, there was no point in trying to mend their relationship. There was no point in arguing for his innocence and harmlessness either.
Now that Carl tore down all pretenses of friendship and diplomacy, Danny knew they were fated to part ways from here on after. Thus, there were no benefits to be had in providing them with answers.
Even if Carl was truly able to forget about this and work together harmoniously going forward, trusting whatever Danny had to say about the demon and attributing his violent outburst to a misunderstanding, Danny would not be able to let this rest.
From the moment Carl decided to point a gun at him, Danny had decided without hesitation to leave him behind even if he was not willing to. He could not sleep under the same roof as Carl anymore.
Danny did not know what purpose Tutu had for harming this crumbling alliance, but the demon did not control Carl neither did he act directly against Danny. He did not have to. All the demon had to do was to give a single nudge, and the shaky trust foundation Danny had built over the days and the friendly link they shared toppled in an instant. It was Carl’s own choice to pick up the weapon and point at him without hearing Danny’s side of the story. No matter how troubling the image he saw in that room and how much that influenced his decision, he had no one to blame but himself for picking up the gun.
In the end, it did not matter that Danny had helped them so much, nor the moments they shared. Carl, driven by fear and the will to protect his closest friend labeled Danny as a potential enemy instantly and took action against him. There was no going back to the way it used to be from this. Trust was hard to obtain and easy to lose after all. Both sides could not trust the other anymore. Carl felt threatened by Danny’s mysteriousness and his relationship with the talking monster, whereas Danny could not sleep under the same roof of a person that would point a gun at him at the drop of a hat. Sometimes in life, a single moment was enough to cause huge waves in one’s fate and path.
“I see. That is a shame” Carl said in a flat tone.
“Come on Carl, we should talk about this. This is not right.” Jane spoke, trying to convince Carl, however, she was bound to be disappointed.
“You do not understand Jane. You did not see what I just saw… that… I do not know what that was, but I know it was not good for us.” Carl shook his head to get rid of the nervousness growing on him.
After seeing that thick darkness for the first time, Carl was not confident internally on the ability of the gun he was holding to protect himself, even if he tried to show a composed expression to the others. He did not want to cause panic after all. They had to get away from there as fast as possible and preferably without mudding the waters even further.
“Think about it, what do you actually know about Danny? What is the name of his parents? Why he chose to enroll into med school? What he did before he came here? What is his last name? Do you even know any single piece of information about him that is not superficial? Anything at all?!” Carl argued frantically, still not daring to take his eyes off Danny and growing more desperate to get out of there.
“That… that’s not…” Jane wanted to rebuke him but could not bring herself to complete her phrase. It was true that they truly did not know anything about Danny. At least, nothing noteworthy.
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At this moment the private manner in which Danny carried himself, and the mysteriousness surrounding him worked against him. Intriguing questions about him soon became worrisome doubts in the hearts of the others.
At first, his classmates just assumed he was a reserved person that did not like to share his personal life with colleagues, looking back at it now, they started having second thoughts. Was there truly no insidious reason for Danny’s refusal to tell them more?
All those questions ended up piling up, and though they could have dismissed each of those questions individually as being of no importance while thinking that it was not their business, by adding up they became something more, something to be concerned about.
Eventually the doubts and misgivings gathered together transformed Danny into someone they could not fathom anymore in their minds. Subconsciously, they had distanced Danny from themselves as being someone abnormal, someone different from them.
How could someone about their age be so different? How could he have known so much beforehand? How could he unhesitatingly go forth and face danger and how could he be so ruthless and decisive about it? Why was he so indifferent towards death… towards killing?
Even though they themselves had their fair share of zombie blood on their hands, so to speak, at this point they conveniently forgotten about their own actions in the past, focusing solely on Danny’s. Subconsciously, they separated themselves from Danny, rationalizing their own inadequacies by comparison as something justifiable. It was not that they were less competent than Danny and were slower at adapting. It was just that there was something fishy about him! Of course they could not compare, there was something wrong with Danny from the beginning! It was not that they were afraid to get hurt and get close to the undead, they simply valued life more!
On one hand, people feared the unknown, that was a fact. In ancient times, humans cowered when hearing thunder, thinking that it was a sign of heaven’s wrath. Later, people trembled and sought forgiveness when facing plagues, taking them as a sign of god’s dissatisfaction. That was also the case now, given that they did not understand Danny, they could not help but feel apprehensive and even fearful.
On the other hand, their own insecurities and sense of value mixed with the accumulated tensions from the past days led them to be jumpier and more unstable then normal, leading to a situation where this event provided the rest of them with an easy target to discharge those accumulated negative feelings.
That did not mean that they were inherently evil and ungrateful people, just that they were humans and made mistakes. None of them had the time to stop and think rationally about the events that succeeded. They could only play along this drama while being influenced by others and all of that on top of being tired and afraid. Not that knowing this did any good for Danny’s circumstances.
Normally they could relegate the doubts, fears and anxieties they harbored to the depths of their hearts and go on with life as if there was nothing wrong. However, when Carl freaked out and accused Danny of something that even he did not fully grasp, unable to put it into words, those worries resurfaced giving birth to the current dilemma.
One could only see the cracks in their relationship now that it was being strained. By applying pressure, the flaws in the apparent harmonious group visage showed themselves.
“Even if that is the case, just because you suspect someone you can’t go around pointing guns at them Carl” Janice said, clearly displeased by her boyfriend’s attitude.
“I know Jan. I am perfectly aware that I am acting like an asshole”. Carl said in a lowered tone, honestly admitting his thoughts while fondly calling Janice by her nickname.
“Then…” Janice was about to interject, unsure as to why Carl would act that way if he knew he was wrong in doing so, but Carl continued to state his point of view.
“Even though I know that, I still have to do it. For what is worth, I am sorry Danny, I truly am. So far you did nothing but help us, and I am thankful for that. However, I cannot help but wonder what is your angle and what you are hiding.” Carl said frankly.
“You might not have any ulterior motives towards us, and be just a nice guy with his own share of troubles. However, I cannot act based on hope alone, whishing that it will all turn out for the best if I just wait. I have no ill will towards you, and I totally understand if you end up hating me because of what I am doing, but I have no choice other than to do that”. Carl said with finality.
Hearing the resolve in her boyfriend’s words, Janice knew this was a lost cause and stopped trying to convince him. There was no turning this situation around anymore. When Carl acted, he did so decisively, not leaving any room for any kind of conciliation or peaceful resolution.
To be honest, Carl really did not have anything against Danny, he even liked the guy. He felt like they could definitely become good friends under normal conditions, however men proposes and heaven disposes as they say, and what could have been a great friendship would now become enmity. The circumstances forced his hand and they would now have to follow separate paths.
Humans were like this. No matter what sort of evil they decided to commit, who truly viewed themselves as evil? A person would always try to maintain their sense of self-worth, justifying their actions any way possible.
I had no choice; circumstances forced my hand.
What could I do? My boss ordered me to do that, I had no power to resist
It was me or him, what could have I done?
Everybody else is doing it, if I don’t, I will be left behind.
Those were all very common lines of thinking that all said the same: It is not that I am a scumbag, it is just that I was forced to do it by something else.
It was essential for any individual’s survival to keep a sense of self-worth, so it was not unusual to find such justifications, otherwise, how could that same person keep living? If someone lost the appreciation they had for themselves, if they began to see themselves in a negative light, that would soon lead to depression and the loss of desire for life most likely. To love oneself is only natural. One’s own mental health could be jeopardized if that person judged themselves too harshly.
Thus, in order to have a healthy state of mind, people had to consciously or subconsciously distance themselves from their ugly actions. People were not inherently good or bad, only actions were, therefore you could still see yourself as a general good person even if you made some ‘small’ mistakes here and there.
Danny merely kept quiet while staring at Carl. An impassive façade fixed on his face that gave no hint as to what he was thinking.
Honestly, Danny understood all that rationally. Even so, he would not forgive Carl for the betrayal. Understanding something and agreeing with it were different things in the end. Someone might understand and sympathize with a father that murder his daughter’s rapist, but still disagree with the idea of taking justice into their own hands. Those ideas were not mutually exclusive.