The Comprehensive and Concise Guide to Ranking by Chezly Falthrick
A Summary of Rankings and Their Associated Milestones
> A common misconception is that ranking is a deterministic power scale. This is demonstrably untrue in many ways “Power” is often spoken with an assumption of martial or militaristic might. However, this is but one facet of possible personal strength. One might measure power by innumerable measures. Influence, wealth, charisma, intellect, and these are but the most obvious examples. Consider the power a maid might wield over their masters, given the secrets they undoubtedly have learned. Contemplate the sway over others a master chef who’s dishes are indescribable works of art. Ponder the respect commanded by a being of unsurpassed wisdom and insight.
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> Take care that you, dear reader, do not consider rank to be a definite measure of power. Even when reducing everything to ones ability to do another being harm, rank is only one factor. Although uncommon, it is entirely possible for a rank 5 martial prodigy to defeat a rank 15 brawler.
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> All things are not equal, assumptions should not be made as if they were.
Willow
Luzzi’s Quarters, Farcem City, Motrendi
As it happened, Luzzi had been serious and sarcastic all at once. At least, that’s how Willow interpreted the oddity that was her couch. Instead of a long sofa, it was a large circular piece of furniture which drew the eye upon passing through the apartment door into the center of the central room. It turned out to be remarkably comfortable, but also awkward. For once, Willow was happy for her small stature. After stepping into and out of the ‘purifier room’, she curled up into a pseudo-fetal position and promptly passed out.
A gentle hand touching her shoulder brought Willow out of the deep nothing that had consumed her. Her body began stretching out before she was fully conscious, legs and arms extending out to their maximum lengths. The luxurious stretch turned into being brought sharply to full wakefulness as the shift in balance was a bit too much as her arms and upper body extended too far over the edge. Graceless, Willow toppled with a yelp. She fell the hundred centimeters from her traitor of a bed onto the ground and found her view inverted, staring at an upside down Luzzi. An upside down Luzzi who was running her hands repeatedly down her face.
“Urghhh, your comfy couch is dangerous. Shouldn’t there be guard rails to avoid injury or something?” Willow partially grumped and mostly joked.
Continuing her hand-laughing, Luzzi strode off to the other side of the large room. The apartment, or “quarters” as Luzzi had called it on the way here, was cozy. Other than huge fluffy pillow masquerading as a couch and acting as a bed - diverse piece of furniture, I need one! - each of the walls were lined with shelves loaded with various things. There were figurines, candles, random different bits and bobbles, several items which looked like simple garbage. All of it looked to be made of various different materials, none of them appearing to have a theme of any kind. That was a bit confusing, as was the lack of even a single book. At least, it had been confusing to an exhausted last-night Willow due to her exhaustion. Upon waking and finding her mind refreshed and ready to think, it made sense. The UICI was a way more convenient way to read. Not to mention books were probably expensive somewhere like this, where she imagined all of trees other than those in parks and maybe reserves had probably been harvested long ago.
Rolling herself to her feet, Willow scanned the rest of the room. Luzzi was standing in the only corner not covered in shelves. Instead, it was a kind of nook which she might have called a kitchen, had there been any sign of cooking appliances. There was a small basin which was most likely a sink, a strip of counter tops, and a lot of cabinets from floor to ground.
Digging through some of those cabinets Luzzi pulled out a set of mugs and small plates. “Do you drink coffee, tea, withroow, skooth? I’m afraid those are the only breakfast beverages I have.”
“Tea would be great! What’s withroow and skooth?”
“Ah, you’re unfamiliar. Your Earth tutorial must not have been one of the space faring ones, then.” That brought way more questions to mind. She supposed it at least partially answered the question though, they were probably some kind of space-based drinks made from exotic plants or-
“Withroow is a highly concentrated chemical compound which has an exceedingly pleasant aroma, but tastes dreadful. I only have a bit because I enjoy the smell at times. As for skooth, it’s made from distilling an array of animal blood together, then removing the alcohol. It’s quite good.”
“Oh.” The disappointment dripping from Willow’s voice could have been heard over a thunderstorm. She watched Luzzi rub one hand down the side of her face, amused.
“You should take a sip of my skooth, many humans like it. It is an Earth native drink, after all.” Having said such, she turned and went through another set of cabinets. Rather than the uniform she’d seen Luzzi in the previous night, the paavaras seemed to be entirely unclothed. Covered in fur, it wasn’t as though she was really immodest. It was fascinating watching her split tails act seemingly independently. They were pulling out containers, utensils, and what looked like wooden pans with tattoo-like art on them.
Shaking her head, Willow decided she should get herself ready for the day instead of watching her host get them breakfast ready. She headed toward the small restroom she’d used to clean up the night before. At least I think she’s getting us breakfast ready. Maybe breakfast isn’t a thing for paavaras? No, she was talking about her breakfast beverages. That suggests it’s a normal custom.
Entering the closet sized purifier room, Willow winced a bit. She wasn’t a huge fan of the setup and was somewhat embarrassed remembering Luzzi explaining how it worked. The room was empty other than the runes which covered every surface of the room. When she closed the door behind herself, the runes gently lit. Actually, these runes look really similar to what I saw on those wooden pans. Maybe they’re enchanted?
The way the room worked was that it literally like removed anything unclean from the occupant or occupants. It was a washing machine, restroom, shower, and dish washer all in one apparently. Literally anything could be cleaned in here. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was that the room wasn’t setup with any kind of toilet bowl or even a divot in the ground. It was… Odd… Not to have something like that to take care of her necessities with. Doing her best to ignore the strangeness with the same carelessness she had last night, Willow stepped out of the room with her ugly jumpsuit and body clean as can be. I hope they still have showers somewhere, they just feel good. Even if they don’t work quite so thoroughly.
Luzzi was sitting on the ground beside the couch, a wooden tray and two mugs in front of her. Assuming she was meant to join, Willow went and sat next to her. She assumed the paavaras would normally just eat while sitting on her couch, so she appreciated her sitting where there was room for them both.
With one hand slowly caressing the side of her face, Luzzi held out a gently steaming mug. “Would you like to try my skooth?”
Hesitating only for a moment, Willow shrugged and took it. Sniffing the beverage, she found it reminded her somewhat of a deep pho broth, or maybe a light ramen. She took a tentative sip and did her best not to spit it out. She carefully passed the cup back to Luzzi and forced herself to swallow. The flavor, honestly, wasn’t bad. The thick, viscous, clingy, texture was horrible.
“You’re sure humans came up with that?” She choked out.
Both hands rubbed a fuzzy face, “Quite certain.”
“Urgh, humans are weird.” This called for more face-rubbing laughs.
Rolling her eyes, Willow rubbed her own face in imitation. She thought she’d offended for a moment, as Luzzi froze, then she tapped her finger on her forehead while her tail moved into a C over her like yesterday, though this time with the tips unwound and distant from each other. “I appreciate you attempting to use my people’s methods of expressing ourselves. It is rare for a human to bother.”
After a moment, she continued, “I could express myself more like a human, but I find I often do it wrong and cause offence. My laughter, I’ve been told, sounds mocking. My smile appears threatening.” She made the sliding away from the body clap which was meant as a shrug.
“It’s fine! I used to enjoy trying to speak other languages when I traveled. I’m passable in like, six or seven since we traveled so much.” She sighed, then after thinking through all the different expressions Luzzi had mentioned on their walk yesterday she rubbed the back of her left hand with her right. That was supposed to express wistfulness or frustration at a situation but not another being.
She continued, “Now all that work’s apparently useless, with the UICI translating everything.”
“Perhaps. There are plenty of beings who learn languages themselves, forgoing the UICI assistance or only using it rarely. The UICI translates words, but not tone or inflection. For example, your speech sounds wild and uncontrolled, like a child, to me. While I am certain my own voice seems monotonous to you. Our race’s range of vocal expression is vastly different. I do express my emotion somewhat in my voice, though more through my actions, while you are the opposite with your body only telling a small portion while your voice carries much.”
That was an interesting point. “If I learned your language, I would probably need to learn to speak more like you to sound natural, then, right?”
Luzzi tapped her forehead, while nodding. Willow smiled, appreciating Luzzi using the human gesture while doing her own. The conversation briefly lulled as Luzzi pointed toward the tray, specifically the side closest to Willow. it was clear that side was meant for her, while the other was Luzzi’s own.
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The breakfast was made up of a set of odd tofu like cubes, a small triangle of cheese, and a couple little sausages. It was a light breakfast, but surprisingly good. The sausage had been heated through, but was still not piping. Everything else was cold. The main thing Willow noticed was that it was all exceptionally fragrant. In particular, the spongy cubes had a much stronger scent than taste. Those appeared to be Luzzi’s favorite, as she held each small piece she ripped off with her paws in front of her nose for several seconds before eating it.
Willow tried to copy her host, enjoying the scents of each bite carefully before putting it in her mouth. It was a fun, if slow, method of eating. The tea was also excellent, some kind of black tea. It had a powerful smell, but subtler flavor like many teas.
Once they were both done, Willow stood taking the mugs and the tray. She asked, “I should take these into the purifier room, right?”
“That would be appreciated.” Luzzi acknowledged as she stood. “I will get dressed for work while you do.”
Watching the small smears of grease and crumbs literally vanish as soon as she closed the door to the purifier room Willow could only imagine how complex the enchantments had to be. How does enchanting even work, if everyone has different insights and different mana? Are the runes also different for everyone? She hadn’t seen enough to be sure.
Upon returning, she found Luzzi strapping on various bandleader-like straps on over the same black and orange uniform she’d been wearing the previous day. The coat had an asymmetric lapel crossing much further to the left side of her body than the right. She wasn’t sure why she’d initially thought it looked like a sailor’s uniform, maybe the starched white pants? It looked a little silly on Luzzi, honestly. Like dressing up a teddy bear. The many pouches and pockets she was putting crisscrossing all over her body somehow seemed more natural.
As she watched, Luzzi finished dressing then started going through her pockets. She began pulling items out of the pockets and placed them around on the shelves. Every once in a while she’d replace an item fully, taking an item off the shelf and stuffing it in her pocket while she placed something from a pouch in its place. She performed the task like a ritual, apparently taking great pleasure in it given the way her tails sat in that loose C, ends apart. When she’d done that earlier she said she appreciated Willow trying to use her people’s form of communicating. So maybe it meant she was happy? I really need a book on paavaras expressions if I’m going to spend a lot of time with her.
Once finished, Luzzi turned and rubbed a hand down the side of her face. Willow did the same in response, smiling. “Let us go. I assume you have no particular idea of what to do today?”
“Not really, I want to get some exercise in and then I’d love to figure out some way to make some money so I can buy some books or something… Then…” She shrugged, then rubbed the back of one hand with her other. “I would like to explore maybe? This place is so big that it’s intimidating, but also exciting!”
Tapping her forehead while Nodding, Luzzi walked to the doorway which opened at her touch just like the respawn room had. “I request you stay with me today. Respawn duty is generally dull, unless there is some large event planned as I mentioned yesterday. I would like to hear about your experiences, and would be happy to answer questions in return.”
She stepped outside the apartment and turned to Willow, who followed as she thought. They walked in step with each other toward the elevator at the end of the long, long, hallway.
The offer was appealing. While Willow would much prefer to be out exploring this new huge planet, actually getting some of her many questions answered would be even better. Besides, it wasn’t like the planet was going anywhere. She smiled and rubbed the side of her face, “That sounds great! Though, if I do that I assume I won’t be earning any money… I won’t be able to afford a place to stay tonight, would you be willing to have me again?”
A look toward Luzzi found one paw tapping her forehead while the other rubbed her face. “It would be my pleasure.”
“Great! Then just one condition.”
“Oh?” Luzzi’s paw stopped mid face-rub.
“Can we run to the respawn place? I really need to burn off a little energy.”
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At first Willow had been worried that she’d have to slow down to stay with Luzzi. It turned out she was being way too arrogant, though. The paavaras was a faster runner by a large margin. Only using her focus allowed Willow to keep up, especially when weaving through larger crowds. Luzzi had a preternatural ability to spin through herds of people like it was a rehearsed dance. Willow, on the other hand, felt like she was constantly having to skid to a stop, juke, and sprint to catch back up.
They arrived back at the ridiculously large entrance they’d left through in less than a half hour. Willow wasn’t entirely sure if they’d made good time, given they’d gone to the restaurant, then to the node, before heading to Luzzi’s quarters. When they arrived, she grinned brightly at Luzzi while running both hands down her face. They joined the throng entering, then split off.
It struck Willow that that they were following a different path than they’d come from the day before, which she asked about. Luzzi explained that she was assigned to a different respawn point today, since the one Willow had arrived in would be recharging. She also mentioned that her partner would likely still be Ravavka.
“Will he attack me on sight?”
“Maybe, but likely not. He, like many of his people, desire excitement. Being knocked unconscious without a chance to fight isn’t thrilling, and could potentially get him in trouble if a faction authority finds him sleeping on the job.” Her tail swayed easily as they chatted, Willow thought it might mean she was relaxed or not on guard. Maybe I’ll get the hang of it without a book! Or maybe I’m making horrible assumptions and she thinks I’m an idiot. Urgh.
Something about what Luzzi said seemed odd, “You mean all of the people, er, beings, that have four eyes are all some kind of adrenaline junkies?”
“Not all, but most. Their normal emotional range is exceptionally narrow, but their potential emotional range is wide. They are capable of feeling quite strong emotions, but it is very difficult to reach those peaks and valleys. Most don’t seek the valleys, as you might imagine. They do tend to look for ways to reach their peaks, though. The faction fully forbids the use of mind or emotion altering substances, so Ravavka tries to fulfill his desires in other ways. The hazzabi are quite an interesting species. They are highly logical most of the time, due to their odd emotional band. Yet, most will act erratically with the full knowledge that they are choosing a logically sub optimal route. Often they take their motivation to feel into account in their personal calculations. This causes logical beings to act illogically from an outside perspective, when they are being entirely rational as far as they are concerned.”
Before Willow could fully process, much less answer, Luzzi turned and placed a paw against one of the innumerable door outlines. I should have asked her how she knew where to go. Probably a UICI map or something. Can she see the UICI screen? Without being born with sight, it seems like maybe not… But it’d be so hard to navigate without seeing!
The door melted in every direction and a small many-eyed alien turned to stare at them from his half-egg seat. The center eye fixed on Willow, who tensed, but he just waved. “You’re here, and you brought yesterday’s runaway.”
“I didn’t run away!” “She didn’t run away.”
They spoke over each other. Willow grinned and rubbed her own face as flicked her eyes to see Luzzi doing the same.
Ravavka groaned, “You got a human acting all weird? What’d you do to her, Luzzi? Did you gain some kind of mind control insight? Maybe had a breakthrough about the natural biological weapons felines carry around? Have you created your own form of toxoplasma, Luzzi, dear?”
Tail winding and unwinding, Luzzi waved dismissively at the question, “This is Willow. Unlike you, she is considerate of others.”
“So that’s why she knocked me out cold.”
“No, that is because you attacked her unprovoked.”
“True, true. Thought it might be fun. I almost felt angry for a bit!”
Watching the byplay, Willow noticed that Ravavka’s facial expressions and even tone all seemed more calculated than genuine. She wasn’t entirely sure what gave it away. It might be intuition, or maybe it was from spending time with Naomi as she struggled with whether to present herself with fake emotions or just act as unaffected as she was. Personally, Willow was glad that she’d settled on honesty. Though, that decision was likely made more because she didn’t care enough to try to act in a certain way. I hope she’s doing well, maybe making some progress on that…
“Sooooo… You dragged a respawnee back to a respawn point… Why?” Ravavka’s asked in his deep dulcet voice.
“I didn’t drag anyone. She agreed to come as she has many questions to ask, and I am curious about her story. She is Madrick’s apprentice, and he didn’t kill her.”
That was apparently enough to actually interest the still-somewhat-scary looking man. His center eye snapped back to Willow, staring at her with an uncomfortable intensity. “Well, you did put me down easily and without a rank, at that! Hah, no wonder! I applied to be Madrick’s apprentice once, you know?”
“Really?” Willow asked, surprised anyone would want that.
“Yep! He sent me back a letter that cursed me as soon as I opened it in reply. The letter itself just said, ‘Fuck off’. I have it framed!”
“That is… Super weird. You framed a thing that cursed you? Did you… Uh… Get the curse… Cured?”
Luzzi rubbed the back of her hand, then walked into the room and touched the floor. Two of those odd half orb-like chair that Ravavka was lounging in. Luzzi waved for Willow to take one and sat in the other herself. Ravavka’s chair suddenly moved, flowing around the room until he was sitting while facing them. That was kinda cool, I wonder if I can do that…
She checked her UICI, but didn’t see any extra menu for it like she’d had at the restaurant.
“Of course he didn’t get it cured. He thought it was a mark of favor or something equally stupid. Ravavka here is the most foolish of his entire race.” Explained Luzzi.
“Thank you! I do my best! And of course I didn’t remove the curse! He was a god at the time, and he replied to me! Can you imagine? A being over rank 100, replying to a little ol’ rank fifty?”
“You’re rank fifty?” Willow asked, surprised. This stupid seat was difficult to sit in. She really wanted a straighter back. Sitting in a position not unlike an upturned turtle was exactly as uncomfortable as she would have assumed.
“Hah! Not anymore. As if the faction would put a rank fifty on respawn duty. Nah, I’d still be in a war-zone, or maybe off helping clean up space detritus, or even chasing after one of the unseen! Ahhh that bounty hunter role was the best.” Ravavka ended with a deep sigh of apparent loss.
“Unfortunately, I died when I perused a relationship with a drow. What a vindictive woman.” The last was said with a longing, admiring, tone that sounded much more genuine than most of the rest.
“Riiiight… I… See…” Willow stopped trying to find a comfortable position and just laid a hand on the gray chair. She sent a imperative command into it, “become a comfortable chair.” The material under her morphed into an ideal seat. Her back was at a perfect angle, a foot-rest had grown at the base, and it even rocked! Hah! That’s more like it!
She noticed a moment later that the room had gone quiet. Ending her admiration of her handy work, Willow looked around. Ravavka had been staring at her the whole time, but now Luzzi was too. What’s more, both of the paavaras’ were cupped around her cheeks. If that’s not a surprised, ‘Oh’, I don’t know what is.
“Ehhh, y’all good?”
“How did-” “What the hell?!”
“Oh… I just told the chair to change. You guys made it look easy, what’s the big deal?” Willow asked, a bit uncomfortable with the sharp intensity in Ravavka’s middle eye. Those other eyes seem focused, but almost like they’re looking at distant points. Weird. Only the boring gray wall is behind us.
“Willow, I believe I mentioned when you asked about the doors yesterday that I was able to manipulate the living metal due to a UICI module interacting with an enchantment matrix. A matrix which requires the operator be authorized.” Luzzi spoke slowly, letting her hands drop and unbending the oddly stiff wiggly shape of her tail, which Willow only now noticed as it relaxed.
“Oooooh… Uh… Sorry, I guess I should have asked one of you to make my chair different?” Hopefully she hadn’t gotten Luzzi in trouble, that’d be horrible after how nice she’d been.
Ravavka burst out laughing, “You’ve got the power of Madrick’s disciple but not the attitude! Rule number one of the world: the strong make the rules. If you can override whatever protections were built into the enchantments, then use it! What’s the worst that happens? The ranker or legend that enchanted it gets pissy and kills you? Pft, you respawned yesterday, why would you care?”
“Oh. Wait, is that really how things work? You can do anything someone stronger than you doesn’t stop you from doing? What’s the point of money then?” Ravavka’s ‘rule one’ seemed way too simple.
He shrugged, “There’s social order, at least the illusion of it. Most beings that live in cities like this want a simple life, or at least a break from doing interesting things. Or they’re forced to be here by whatever faction, order, guild, or other organization that holds their leash.” He made a pulling gesture at his neck, apparently yanking on an invisible collar. His way-too-wide mouth split in a crooked grin.
“I can see what Luzzi means by you having lots of questions. So, let’s answer some questions! But first… Luzzi said you have an interesting story.” Ravavka leaned in, and Willow noticed Luzzi doing the same beside her.
Taking a deep breath brace herself, she nodded. Then belatedly remembered to tap her forehead in the middle of gathering her thoughts. Once she was ready, she began, “I died in an accident, just before I became the world’s first gold medalist for the mixed martial arts lightweight division…”