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Chapter 4 - Crash (the) Course

Chapter 4 - Crash (the) Course

Willow

Frazzlen Orientation Hall, Farcem City, Motrendi

It was with a sour expression that Willow completed the UICI tutorial. She had stood up about five minutes after she’d started the first training module so she had a decent view of the room. The room was too large and too packed for her to really see everyone, but the area she could observe was decent. She stretched and glanced around, noting that most everyone nearby was still either engrossed in their UICI or were staring into the void in despair. She couldn’t blame anyone regardless of which it was.

A few others were standing, stretching, and some had even started discussing among themselves. Noami and the guy to her right were still clearly engrossed. That guy’s name was… I think I’ll call him Kent. He kind of has the super-man jaw, just missing a bit of muscle, and he’s clearly used to wearing glasses and doesn’t need them. Just like Clark Kent! It’s the perfect name for him. Having refreshed herself with a bit of distraction after the forty minutes or so of information literally streaming directly into her brain, Willow turned her mind back to what she had learned.

The UICI was exactly like the futuristic AR system she had expected. The default boxes were styled with future-tech looking blue-glass holographic like aesthetic. The text looked like silver with a black outline and would be garishly painful to look at for any length of time. Though, according to the interface guide she wasn’t actually seeing it at all. It was all projected directly into her mind. It felt a bit… Creepy. She knew there had been people getting computer chips implanted in their heads and stuff on Earth, but at least that had been an intentional choice. Here, no one had a choice. The UICI was simply a universal fact of life.

Dilemmas regarding how she felt about the whole thing aside, the interface tutorial had been pretty thorough. It taught her how to customize the entire user interface, form and function. The guide had a timer on it and hadn’t let her keep playing with the theme beyond five minutes, but she planned to spend a solid few hours figuring out how to make the thing not look like it should blind her just by looking at it.

Other lessons had included interfacing with others via the UICI. It was possible to send messages, videos, voice messages, make calls, and even enter a virtual space. The accompanying textbook of commentary had suggested that there were a good number of people who spent nearly all of their time within virtual worlds. People escape from life with video games here too, not sure if that’s a good sign or a bad one. Beside that, the UICI also acted as a document store, personal identification, payment management system, and everything else computers had been on earth and much more.

According to the guide, the UICI could interface with spells to facilitate universal language translation between thousands of different languages all at once. The commentary once again more interesting than she might have expected, it explained that to facilitate this in large groups the UICI would calculate the closest possible common linguistic root of all participants and relate that information to the spell formation. The formation would then convert all speech within it to the identified common root. The UICI monitored all of the incoming audio and converted it in real time to the user’s mother tongue. On a more one on one setting, the UICI was perfectly capable of performing the same translation without specialized spell formations to help it.

In the past Willow had made fun of her friend James for being paranoid and prone to conspiracy theories. He’d be telling me ‘Told you so!’ and ’This is exactly the inevitable end-state of the internet, as I thought! He’d be so excited about being right and also terrified. She felt a harsh pang in the pit of her stomach at the reminder that she’d most likely never see him again. She was well aware he’d had a crush on her, but she’d never made any move to close the gap. Not because she didn’t like him, she was just more focused on… Everything else. Now she wondered if she should have perused something with him. She knew he’d always been there, so she hadn’t felt all that urgent… Wow, I took him for granted. A lot…

Swallowing back the sob that threatened to break her directly from the go-with-the-flow stoicism she’d been maintaining into full on breakdown. She’d process it later. When she wasn’t surrounded by hundreds… thousands? of strangers. Taking a deep breath, she traced her line of thought back to the point the train had jumped its tracks. Right, so the UICI has a multi-dimensionally enabled GPS built-in, but ‘don’t worry, no one can track you with it without your consent’ and ‘A bunch of gods trying to one-up each-other made it, so it’s definitely infallible.’

She snorted, another burst of sorrow reminding her that her father would have scolded her for the un-ladylike noise - and her mother would have snorted in response. Although she missed her parents, that ache was more bitter-sweet rather than just regret. She clung to the warmth of their remembered presences for a moment before letting it go. The room’s volume had steadily been rising.

“What do you think of this thing, Willow?” Naomi’s voice was a bit calmer than before.

“It’s a bit… Much. Pretty cool, being able to do anything I could at a computer just by thinking about it sounds pretty appealing. The fact there’s no way to turn it off, disconnect, or otherwise escape it is kind of scary. I don’t trust that any computer-like system is infallible. James…” She pushed past bubbling sadness with a bit of a stutter, “James used to say the only people who would ever tell you a computer is unhackable are either: The ones who don’t know what they’re talking about, or the ones who are going to hack you and don’t want you to make it harder on them. That and… We can’t use like ninety five percent of the stuff the training went through without buying some module or other.”

A chuckle came from her right as another voice entered the conversation, “You’re exaggerating a bit. Most of the basic stuff is available by default: calculator, texting a hundred words at a time with a five minute time limit between messages, a map which shows a dot where you are and a dot where your destination is with no features between them… What else could you possibly want?” The tone had started out dry and ended with a sneer.

Looking over and down at the still sitting Kent, Willow pointed and nodded, “You know what, you’re right. I was being silly.” She threw her arms up dramatically, “I should have remembered I can create my very own virtual space!” Her arms fell back, hitting her sides with an audible ‘thwap’, “And fill it full of one of the the three couch models and six shrubs that come with the ‘starter pack’.”

Naomi joined in, “True, whoever set this thing up were very benevolent. They gave us a ‘journal’ module which lets you write as much as you want!”

A bit surprised, Willow turned to her, “Really? No catch?”

The slightly wrinkled nose gave Naomi’s spite away before she answered, “No catch at all! Assuming you don’t mind that you can’t scroll the screen back up in the free version of the module.”

Before they could continue their sarcasm-fueled product review, a droning nasal voice came around them, “Please return to your seats, your next speaker will be here in five minutes.”

Willow failed to suppress her deep groan. She caught the amused expression on Kent’s face, Laugh it up buddy, we’ll see who’s smirking at whom when I saunter out of here unemployed at the end of the day! Mwah-ha… Oh wait, is that a good thing? Huh…

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It had been three hours. Three hours since the UICI tutorial thing ended. This latest speaker had been droning on and on about something for three hours without a pause. He hadn’t even taken questions, not that anyone had any, Willow was pretty sure no one was paying any more attention than she was.

She’d started off ignoring the new speaker by playing with the UICI. She’d already fixed the interface. Instead of the crazy futuristic look she had restyled it so each window looked like little medieval scrolls being unrolled. She’d started out having a soft trumpet sound play too, but that’d been way too annoying. She setup notifications to appear in a little scroll-shelf which was normally empty, but will fill up with each ‘scroll’ she received. The lettering was all block, since there were no free cursive fonts.

Speaking of free, the only thing she had found that seemed to be truly free was the base of the UICI. Even the clock was a ‘limited’ version. She could see the current time, but the date was obscured behind an obfuscating blur with like dollar symbols in front of it. Those dollars came from her preference for representing currency, she’d found that setting an hour ago and messed with it too. She’d made it look like the bitcoin symbol, like gold doubloons, and a bunch of other things. That particular interface let her use her imagination to configure it. A few other things had a similar ‘imaging whatever you want’ kind of interface. The boxes and notifications, for example, but any added functionality came in the form of modules.

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Modules that had to be purchased or, in most cases, subscribed to. She’d also found a “developer’s kit” module which was free. It seemed to be the method by which people could develop and deploy those various modules to the UICI E-Store E for ‘Extension’, E for Evil, E for Eentolerable E for… Whatever. When is this guy going to be done?!

Finally deciding enough was enough, Willow stood up. She felt a lot of eyes suddenly on her. Unphased, she muttered excuse-mes as she started making her way toward the row. The speaker noticed her too and apparently took offence, “Miss. May I ask where you’re going? The orientation has…” His eyes flicked up and to the right, before coming back to rest on her, “… another hour remaining.”

She flashed him a quick smile, “Sorry, I need to run to the wash room real quick. Where’s that, by the way?”

“Please take your seat, miss. You do not need to freshen yourself.”

What in the world, does he think I’m a kindergartner? Well, yeah, probably. Given the time scales these people have been talking on, I probably seem like one. Eh, whatever, they can think what they want. “Uhh… Yes I do.” She had stopped when he called her out, but now she resumed making her way toward the isle. When she arrived she was surprised to find the speaker standing directly in front of her.

He was an extremely wiry looking man, maybe an elf or something given the almost painfully sharp and handsome features. The long sharply pointed ears and almond shaped, literally shining, eyes of gold were also good hints. He was standing with his hands clasped behind himself as he stared down his perfect nose at her. He was about a head taller than her. Probably 1.85 meters to her 1.6.

“Excuse me…”, She made to step past her, but he stepped at the same time to block her. The heck is with these people getting in front of me?! She narrowed her eyes at him, waiting patiently for an explanation. She could punch him like she had Baav, but doing that in front of thousands of people who were watching probably wasn’t a great idea.

He didn’t disappoint, answering her unspoken demand, “I know you don’t need to go to the washroom, because you haven’t had any food or water since you arrived. Your bodies are different from how they were before. One of those differences is their efficiency. You will not need to dispose of any waste until days after you’ve eaten. You’ll never need to urinate again, except to expel toxins if you’re unfortunate enough to consume some.”

She stated, “Oh.” Her eloquence perfectly reflected her state of surprise.

He continued, “So, please, return to your seat and do listen closely. There is a lot of information to cover.”

About to turn around, he stopped when Willow replied, “No thanks.”

He froze mid-turn, then slowly twisted back around to face her fully again, “What was that?”

“This is a waste of time. I won’t remember any of it, I doubt anyone will.” She waved her hand at the crowd, noticing several people cringing away from her as if worried the elf-guy, *Wait, did he introduce himself? Probably. I should have caught that, would decide they were co-conspirators.

She continued before he could reply, “Look it really is nothing against you or anyone else, but we’ve literally all just died and been reborn in an absolutely insane situation. I do appreciate the information provided by miss Varsuth, and the tutorial for the UICI. And I bet I’d appreciate the stuff you’re trying to teach us too, but my brain’s plump tuckered and needs a rest. I can stay here and secretly resent and complain about your voice droning on and on endlessly in the background, OR” she held up a finger high over head to emphasis her point, “Or I can leave now, think about everything I’ve learned, and then go along with my life sans some wasted time.”

The elf’s lips were pursed in a line fit to cut hairs, eyes narrowed to slits, and his nose was flared in clear anger. Still other than the subtle facial tells, his body language and voice remained calm, “Should you not have finished that by promising you would return at a later date to hear the all-important wisdom the Frazzlen have seen fit to share with you, once you can…” He paused for a moment, trying to remember her exact phrasing before returning with just a touch of scorn in his voice, “…process, it better?”

Willow was honestly impressed by this guy’s composure. She’d have expected much tenser shoulders, maybe for his hands to be tightly clenched and white behind his back, but he really didn’t seem as angry as she thought most people would have got in a similar confrontation. She should know, she’d been in similar positions more times than was probably good.

She flashed him a bright smile, “Nope! The rest of these folks here aren’t gonna learn any more than I did, not a lick. So what’s the point in coming back? They’re not gonna, and they’ll all perform their tasks with exactly as much proficiency as you expect. So it’s clear while some of what you’re saying at us might be useful, none of it is necessary.”

Hissed whispers and frantic shushing could be heard from the surrounding crowd for a full ten seconds, Willow was counting, before the she finally got a reply. “I see… Well, while I don’t appreciate the crude manner with which you brought this point to my attention, it seems likely that you’re correct.”

What? Huh?

The elf sighed, bringing his hands from behind his back and somehow making his voice resonate from each corner of the room and the ceiling again. There are definitely no speakers, and he’s not wearing a mic. “My apologies ladies and gentlemen. It appears myself and my superiors may have miscalculated how much stimulation and information new arrivals are capable of ingesting. In truth, this orientation is somewhat new and we’re still working on chasing out the wivils. Let me skip to the end and release you a bit early then. Give me another five minutes, please.”

The last was clearly addressed to Willow, who was too confused and shocked to speak. She just nodded and turned to head back to her seat. Her mind was running as she shuffled back, excusing herself as she brushed knees. Did he actually listen? That’s not how these things go. He should have started shouting and demanding - appealing to emotion in the form of fear. Then he’d appeal to authority, telling me he’d report me to whoever is supposed to do whatever it is I don’t want them to do. Then when I still didn’t comply he’d either throw his hands up and let me leave, or he’d try to escalate and get his teeth punched in. He listened?! She was still reeling as she sat.

Naomi gave her an impressed nod, while Kent gave her a bright smile and two thumbs up. Apparently even the studious Kent wasn’t a fan of long-winded lectures.

True to his word the elf, who gave his name again as part of his closing remarks, Ki’ai’en, ended the lecture early. The last few minutes had mostly just been explaining to everyone where to go next, how to find their way to the important amenities such as the cafeteria and a temporary dormitory setup for all of the new arrivals. Apparently they’d be assigned more permanent residence in the next few weeks.

As Willow, Naomi, and Kent followed the heavy foot traffic through the door to exit the auditorium, she heard the Ki’ai’en’s voice again, “Miss, would you be willing to spare a moment?”

She saw him ahead and a bit to the right, just outside of the room and changed course. She was jostled a bit, but had enough experience navigating rowdy crowds to extract herself without undue difficulty. Her face sported an awkward smile as she approached, “Hey before you say anything, I just wanted to apologize. The way I handled that… Well it wasn’t very good. You’re clearly just trying to help so… Ah… Sorry about that.” She ended lamely, feeling the apology was inadequate.

To her surprise his lips raised in a small but genuine appearing smile, “You are forgiven for your brashness. In return, please forgive me as well. Although I did plan this with the best of intentions, intentions are only a small portion of the requirements for a successful event. If you are amenable, I’d like to join you and your companions for lunch. I want to hear more of your thoughts regarding ways to improve the on-boarding process.”

Willow glanced to her left and right to find Naomi and Kent still flanking her from a couple steps behind. Doubly surprised by the request and the apparent show of support, she just nodded, “Uh, yeah, of course. Happy to help.” I didn’t sign a contract, but at this rare they’re still gonna wring a bunch of labor out of me! Though, if it helps others later…

Ki’ai’en lead, actually, hold on…, “Can I call you Kai?”

The elf in question looked at her for a moment with an unreadable expression, then inclined his head, “You may.”

“Thanks!”

Kai lead the way to the cafeteria which had supplied directions for not three minutes prior. The benefit of being with the teacher, so to speak, was they were able to scoop up one of the pre-prepared trays immediately and claimed a booth just big enough for the four of them.

Naomi scooted into one said and patted the seat meaningfully while looking at Willow, who took the hint and scooted in. Kent slid in across from Naomi, and Kai took the remaining spot. He began without preamble, “First, you mentioned the initial information was appreciated. Was it truly useful, or were you just attempting diplomacy?”

That got a laugh out of her. Willow’s laugh was unrestrained, a little higher in pitch than she liked and just on the right side of manic - but only barely. She shook her head, “Nope, I’ve never attempted diplomacy in my life, clearly. I was being honest. I’m a simple gal, I call them as I see them.”

He nodded, eyes flicking briefly in a way that told her he was likely doing something in his UICI. Then his attention returned and he made a point to look at Naomi and Kent, “Please, you two are also welcome to add your opinions as we go on. But first… Introductions.”

He held a hand out across the table, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I am Ki’ai’en but you are welcome to call me Kai if it’s more comfortable.”

Willow took his hand a bright toothy smile gracing her face, “It’s great to meet you, Kai! You seem like a real stand up guy. This is Naomi and Kent.” She pointed to each in turn.

Kent started, “What? My name isn’t Kent.”

“Oh, right… What is your name again?”

He stared at her in consternation, “You didn’t even ask. I thought this was finally my chance to introduce myself, and you just… Called me some random name?”

She held up her hands, “Hey, hey, sorry! I’m just bad at names and you seem like a Kent!”

He grumbled a moment before finally answering, “My name is Jonah. Jonah Locke”

“Jonaaah…”, Willow tested it out, “Jonah. Jonah? Jonah!”

Kai was watching the interplay with an impassive face, but for the ever-so-slight twitching of the right corner of his mouth. I should play poker, wait, focus. Jonah…. Kent… Jonah…

She sighed deeply and Jonah asked, “What’s that sigh about?”

“Are you sure you can’t be Kent?”