Given what John had previously heard about Musa, he expected him to be a wild and reckless man. Instead, what he found was a calm and collected man, full of wisdom. At first the two views seemed incompatible, but of course there was hardly ever a time when a single perspective was complete.

After spending time with Musa, John came to a better understanding. Musa was indeed the reckless fellow that had been spoken of by his brother and Zelma of the Mozdar clan. Or at least, he had been. Yet it seemed that even they recognized the changes that had occurred in him over decades. As for why they still held that opinion, humans were prone to sticking to their beliefs… and to cultivators, it might not seem like all that long had passed and so it was somewhat fresh in their minds.

A person learning from their mistakes was one of the most admirable traits they could have, in John’s opinion. But he could also understand why people would much prefer those who hadn’t made any mistakes. Or at least, when those mistakes were either less severe or considered more socially acceptable.

John remembered how hesitant he was to take on ex-cons as workers at his branch of Brad’s Burgers… and how silly it seemed. Would people really risk going back to prison just to steal a handful of cash from a restaurant’s till? Maybe a few rare individuals, but most just wanted a job so they could survive. Of course, he could see that now but in his early 20’s he was afraid.

It was entirely possible that Musa had done something more serious than petty theft. No, knowing how clan politics worked it would have had to be something more. Maybe he killed someone… though they either weren’t important or it was an accident. John could ask, of course, but he only planned to if it came up naturally. What mattered most was how the man was now.

And who he was now had quite good advice, especially on the topic of air element body tempering. John didn’t think the external electrical field of the Abiodun clan would be of much use to him, even with the changes Musa had made, but it was the process of reaching those changes that was important.

“Human bodies aren’t meant for any of this,” he explained. “Perhaps we aren’t even meant for cultivation of spiritual energy at all. Maybe we weren’t supposed to interact with totems.”

John frowned. He certainly hadn’t thought of things like that. After all, when introduced to the world, everything seemed like it was how it was supposed to be. And while John didn’t think that Musa fully believed what he had said, it did provoke thought. “What are totems?”

“A good question,” Musa said. “And no, I don’t have the answer. Perhaps an universal constant beyond our normal reality that we managed to tap into. Or perhaps they are a figment of a combined human subconscious.”

“But totems do things.”

“Maybe only because we believe they do,” Musa shrugged. “Have you ever come across a totem that was exactly what you were searching for? One previously undocumented?”

“Not quite,” John said. “But with a great number of them, surely one would expect to be able to find most combinations of traits.”

“And how many do you think there are?”

The Tenebach clan had documentation for hundreds in each layer, and with six layers… “There have to be at least many thousands,” John commented. “I know of at least that many.”

“Well, that’s true. Let us say, for ease of use, that there are six thousand. Equally divided among elements, that would be one thousand. Less than two hundred per layer. And within each element, you have various concepts. For air, you have lightning and gasses. For earth, you have stones of various sorts. Boulders, mountains… plants. How many gasses are there? How many plants?”

“Well, totems aren’t going to strictly tie to a single plant but…” John shook his head. “Even if you consider larger categories, there would be far more. Unless you get as vague as the mere concept of trees, but I know there are varieties even within that.” John frowned. “So are you saying we just make them up?”

Musa shrugged. “Not necessarily. We might simply be discovering them by searching for them. But I do believe there are effects between cultivators. Tell me, you could swiftly find anything logged by your clan or sect, could you not?”

“Well, obviously. That’s why they have been cataloged.”

Musa smiled. “Let me show you what we have cataloged,” he said. He brought John into their library- obviously his presence was enough for them to go to any section, even those normally restricted to outsiders. “Look at these.”

John saw there were many different sorts of winds, types of lightning strikes, and of course earth totems that were skewed towards things that fit in the Glass Hills. Sand and form changing earth more than massive boulders or mountains. “So what you’re saying is… what totems people can find are based on what people already know? Have you compared with other sects?”

The two of them moved to a private area for their discussion- so as to not disrupt others, among other things. “I have, actually,” Musa nodded. “And their records are quite similar to ours, within the Glass Hills.”

“What about the Wuthering Steppes?”

“Quite different.”

“So… is it geographical, or related to people?”

“A good question, isn’t it?” Musa raised an eyebrow. “The only way to test would be to uproot an entire group of people from one region to another and have them cultivate. Which… I do not think would be worth the results. And people are still able to find totems they are aware of or believe should exist, given time and effort. But that does not disprove the idea, as if it takes them more effort where such things are not commonly known… does that not contribute to the idea?”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

John closed his eyes for a few moments, thinking. “It might. And ultimately, it doesn’t matter, does it? What’s important is that people can obtain totems that fit their needs with sufficient time and effort- whether they are discovered or invented.”

“That’s right,” Musa agreed. “I am certain you have encouraged your disciples to search for totems that fit them well. Though I will say there is a confounding factor in our numbers.”

“Which is?” John asked.

“Not everyone is going to record every totem they come across. Especially if it’s similar to another one they’ve heard about but don’t care about. In fact, I would expect very few to do so, except those specifically tasked to do so. The others would be a particular kind of personality.”

John pondered for a few moments longer. “For all the time I’ve spent searching for and thinking about individual totems, I’ve spent far less thinking of totems as a whole. Because… the system worked for me. Perhaps I should emphasize the possibilities to disciples more clearly. I’ve had assumptions about what people might realize.” Then something else came to him. “Totems can grow in power. Does that mean they’re not fixed in form?”

“Ah, you’ve realized that, have you?” Musa nodded. “Well, I can say it is theoretically possible to change them… but I wouldn’t. Of my many mistakes, that was one of them- and I wasn’t even trying for a shift between elements. They might grow with you naturally, but forcing it… its just as bad as forcing anything else in cultivation.”

“I am aware of the pitfalls,” John said.

“Indeed. So, why did you change your name?”

“What?” John asked, surprised at the sudden topic change.

“I had disagreements with my brother and strife within the clan,” Musa said. “But I still kept my name. I would have fought for it, even. But you… from all accounts, you’re on more than adequate terms with the Tenebach clan, and all of your children.”

“Well… that’s part of it,” John said. He thought about how- and what- he should explain. “The triplets made things somewhat complicated. Especially with their elemental affinities. Tirto was born with water element, so he had little choice but to take a position in the Brandle Clan. The same with Melanthina and Darkness. It was for the benefit of both them and the clans. But after Matayal was gone… I didn’t want to feel tied down to a single clan.”

“So you divested yourself of your entire name, starting anew.”

“It sounds a bit extreme now that you mention it. And… I never really stopped having those connections. It’s a bit silly, I suppose.”

“Perhaps. But I understand. I founded this sect, not because I had great ideas in mind. Not even to prevent people from making the same mistakes I had. But instead… because I felt like I needed a structure built up around me to keep me stable. I understand. Though I don’t quite understand the particular name you chose. Why John Miller?”

“Well, I… had my reasons.”

“Is it your name from a previous life?” Musa asked. John couldn’t help but react slightly. “You need not be surprised. Any figure of great influence has rumors about reincarnation. It is common enough among the upper echelons.”

“And who is spreading these rumors?” John asked. He wasn’t really upset. He’d known the name change might reveal some things, and he’d stopped actively hiding his status from the world at large- he just hadn’t announced it either.

“They’ve been around for decades,” Musa admitted. “I heard them even before your name was changed, though they intensified. You and your wife were star crossed lovers, destined to rule the world. And then, when she perished, it was said that the both of you were cursed to reunite for only brief moments.”

“That one’s a bit… flimsy, isn’t it? We were married for decades.” John had to admit they didn’t spend as much time together as they should have. Their responsibilities didn’t allow that. “And we knew each other before that for quite some time.” Though most of that was Fortkran, so that didn’t really count. Then there was the relevant detail that Matayal wasn’t a Reincarnator. Or a Transmigrator.

“Yes, it was a rather inconsistent series of rumors. And most rumors aren’t true. But… for you in particular, I had a feeling. Before your reaction, of course.” Of course an experienced cultivator would have noticed. “You’re odd, you know? That was before your name change, which is an odd name indeed. As Fortkran Tenebach, you were training in pure darkness… only to have a sudden change in trajectory. And personality. Rather than one who reincarnated from the world, you’re more likely a Transmigrator, are you not?”

John shrugged. “Would it make any difference if I was?”

“It would make more sense to me why someone suddenly decided to try a full cycle of elements even though common sense says it’s insane. Especially since you could have only expected to reach halfway at the time- which is not a cycle in any sense.”

“All I can tell you is that it was youthful rashness. I certainly didn’t know enough to properly train a cycle of elements. That I reach this place was great luck, both in the family I was born into and many elements beyond that.”

“Every cultivator of great renown has such fortune,” Musa said. “Even myself, to some extent. I could be dead, you know.”

John nodded. This was the moment, then. “So what was the incident that caused all this for you?”

Musa sighed. “I crippled my niece. Which hurt me nearly as much as I hurt her. She was so eager and vital.”

“I have the feeling this was more than a simple sparring accident.”

“Indeed. It was my radical training ideas. She pushed for a totem she wanted but couldn’t reasonably attune to. She wasn’t the only one I harmed, either. A number of clan members ruined their bodies under my guidance. And here I am, unharmed.”

“Did you know that harm would come to them? Had you tried the techniques yourself?”

“I had. But circumstances were different. I was old enough to have gotten over most of my folly of youth… while somehow forgetting that others were still there. So perhaps I had simply fooled myself. I shouldn’t have ever taught her that.”

“... I should have died instead of Matayal,” John said. “She was the one who belonged here.”

Silence lingered between them. Both of them knew their words weren’t true, except so far as that was what they felt. Perhaps at some point they would get back to technical details of cultivation, but before that steadying their hearts was of greater importance. And though it wasn’t something either of them had sought out, each utterance brought them a bit closer to restoration, even if reaching the end of said road wasn’t possible.