Returning to the surface occasionally was a necessity, but as soon as he was able Tirto would return below, to the leviathan. It was a being of ancient power, yet full of many contradictions. Inside and around it there was much life… yet for the most part the leviathan itself did not act as if it were alive. The occasional breaths in and out were the only exception, the only signs of life it showed. Yet it was easier to compare them to a natural phenomenon. But beneath the petrified outer layers, Tirto could feel some sense of true life.
His mind sunk into the sea of spiritual totems. Most totems could be found simply by searching for a particular element, perhaps with some particular qualities in mind. Or at least, most known totems. Tirto couldn’t guarantee there weren’t more undiscovered totems, as the sea of spiritual totems didn’t seem to have physical limits. Perhaps it was infinite… or perhaps not.
Either way, there were certain totems that couldn’t be found unless one actually knew what particular features to sense for, having been exposed to something similar. Mere speculation didn’t always work, as there were things outside of people’s comprehension.
Such it was with totems that gave off a similar feeling to the leviathan. Water element totems, both alive and dead with hidden depths of power. Tirto couldn’t find anything exactly representing the leviathan up to the fifth layer. He could find a deep sea squid, powerful whales, and various other sorts of creatures whose totems would imbue him with certain features, but nothing fully representative of the leviathan except vague concepts. There was nothing necessarily wrong with them, but he wanted more.
Tirto pushed on, into the sixth layer. He could feel the strain immediately as the pressure multiplied. This was not a place he was meant to be. Yet, he had to be able to attune to a totem from there. Ursel had, and he had been able to match her cultivation. He was just a little bit behind right now. A few months… was quite annoying, but she’d ultimately pushed herself forward before she was ready. But with more time, Tirto believed he could achieve the same. He had to.
But his time on the sixth layer was short, and he couldn’t hold himself there any longer. He was pushed back into his body, where he had to steady himself and avoid taking the deep breaths he wanted. Getting salt water in his lungs was never fun, regardless of his ability to deal with it.
Tirto dove again and again, into the deep sea with the leviathan and the sea of spiritual totems. In his brief moments on the sixth layer, he desperately searched for something resonant with the power of the leviathan. He found himself brushing up against the edges of something, but he was always pulled away before he could reach it.
But he refused to give up. He needed the power to fight alongside his sisters, and Ursel had already reached the Soul Expansion Phase. Melanthina would be there before long, once the Tenebach clan’s blessing ceremony occurred again. She was astounding, and would be able to attune to a powerful totem. And if he didn’t manage this soon, they would both pull ahead. Tirto lunged for the totem he could feel, but he found himself flung away with great force. He swirled back into his body, and the world itself continued to flip over as he was filled with vertigo. Was the totem… rejecting him? He wasn’t good enough?
Tirto looked at his mother, gesturing for them to return to the surface. He had tried again and again… and he wouldn’t let himself pass out another time. He had to know his own limits… even if he didn’t like them.
Layers of sea, from the deepest dark of the sea floor strangely full of life, to layers of darkness with moderate life or none. Up to zones of twilight, then sun, and finally the surface itself. The Kelp Spire Forest rested above.
When they finally surfaced, Tirto climbed to the top of one of the spires. It was the same one that he and his sisters had almost been killed upon, what felt like forever ago. Ursel had nearly sacrificed herself there. Tirto could remember being unable to act, both then and to a lesser extent the Prismatic Chambers. He didn’t want that.
“Aren’t you going to dry off?” A gentle voice said from nearby.
Tirto looked up to see Emilia. His fiancee… unofficially still. It was ultimately up to them, but both families already approved. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was distracted and didn’t see you coming,” Tirto stood and bowed politely. “I was not expecting you to visit, but I’m glad to see you here.”
“Of course,” Emilia smiled. “We came to find you at the clan, but learned you were here. I heard you are undergoing intense training.”
Tirto nodded. “I recently learned that my power was not enough. Being born with natural affinity didn’t prevent myself or my sisters from being in mortal danger.”
They exchanged a short conversation, after which Tirto felt more relaxed. Then Emilia excused herself, to let him get back to meditating and recovering his energy in safety.
Tirto was just settling down when he felt her coming back, so he stood up to meet her. “Something wrong?”
“Yeah, you’re soaking wet, idiot.” A burst of flames covered him at the declaration. When they cleared, they revealed a younger version of Emilia. But only by looks, and the style of her cultivation.
“Dammit Verusha, what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” she said. “But there are lots of things wrong with you.”
“Like what?” Tirto said. He should have just ignored the kid, but she’d immediately put him in a combative mood.
“Like your stupid face. Though Emilia likes it for some reason. When are you going to propose to her?”
“I- when I feel we are both ready,” Tirto said. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“Of course it’s my business. She’s my sister. Even if I don’t want a stupid brother-in-law, she’d probably be happy.”
“Yeah, I get it,” Tirto said, “But it would be at least five years before we could actually be married. I’m not in any rush.”
“You’re right. Five years is a long time,” Verusha crossed her arms and nodded. “But if you take that long to propose, I’ll set your hair on fire during the wedding.”
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“Yeah, I get it,” Tirto said. “What are you doing here anyway, just tagging along with your sister?”
“I wanted to go to the beach,” she said. “You don’t know how much nicer beach sand is compared to desert volcano sand. But then you weren’t even there so we had to come out here. Anyway, you’re having trouble attuning to your totem?”
“Who even told you that?” Tirto asked.
“Nobody. But you’ve been at peak Foundation Phase for a while, so it must mean you can’t attune a totem. Why not?”
“The one I want is pushing me away. It seems I’m not compatible.” Tirto wasn’t sure why he told her that, but he was hoping it would lead to him being able to get back to what he was doing faster.
“Then punch it in the face and make it compatible,” Verusha said. “Easy.”
Tirto rolled his eyes, “Like you’d know, you haven’t even attuned to your first totem yet.”
“So? I’m ten. You hadn’t either at my age.”
“I totally did,” Tirto countered. Sure, he was born with something like the first rank of cultivation so it wasn’t exactly fair, but she didn’t need to know that.
“Well, uh… it’s not that I can’t,” Verusha turned her head away, snorting fire. “I’m just trying to find the best totem.”
“Oh yeah?” Tirto asked. “What kind are you looking for?”
“Like I said… the best one.”
“There isn’t a best totem,” Tirto sighed. “It just depends on what you want.”
“Nu-uh,” Verusha shook her head. “There is a best one. I’ll prove it.”
“Alright,” Tirto waved her off. “You do that.”
Now all that calm he felt from his chat with Emilia was gone, and he was just annoyed. His whole recovery would be thrown off, and probably the next dive. Just great.
-----
“Wow,” Ursel said when she was alone with her father. “I can’t believe you brought Nik here. Are you actually setting him up with her?”
“I just want them to make an informed choice,” John said. “I know we’ve made fun of her for liking him, but honestly none of us know for sure if she does.”
“She never stops talking about him, even when she’s not talking about him,” Ursel pointed out.
“And that definitely means she feels something, but it could involve confusion from their early rivalry. Either way, I want her to resolve her thoughts on him before the ceremony.”
“But what if she does like him?”
John shrugged, “Then she likes him.”
Ursel bit her lip, probably hard enough for most people to break skin. “Won’t it be awful for her to realize that and then have to marry someone else?”
John frowned, “... Why would she have to marry someone else? I suppose he might not reciprocate her feelings, but it would be better for her to know that sometime soon, rather than having it in the back of her mind forever.”
“But she said… would you even let her marry someone like him?”
“What about him?” John asked. “Is there something I don’t know?”
“Well, he’s… lowborn, or whatever people call it.”
“So?” John tilted his head. “I have standards, but he’s a talented cultivator and he seems like a decent person. He’s marrying into the clan, so it’s generally easier if he’s not part of some important clan.”
“Oh. Uh, you should probably tell Melanthina that.”
“I’ve made myself pretty clear on the matter.”
“Have you?” Ursel asked. “Because, uh, you haven’t talked with me about it at all. Besides like… finding someone ‘decent’.”
“That’s because you don’t have specific duties you’re needed for. You’re free to choose anyone. Or not choose, I suppose.”
“Oh good,” Ursel said with relief. “But uh, you should probably talk to Melanthina about it. Because from what I heard from her, things might not have come across as clearly as you intended.”
John sighed, “Unfortunate. But at least this came up now instead of… years down the line. Thank you for your concern for your sister.”
“Of course,” Ursel nodded vigorously. “I’d do anything for her.”
“Including break out of special restraints by attuning to a totem too powerful for you?”
“Hey!” Ursel said. “It doesn’t even hurt anymore! I can totally deal with it. And I’m almost done with Master Renato’s challenge.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” John smiled.
-----
John later found Melanthina and straightforwardly explained what it seemed she’d misunderstood. He wasn’t sure if it was ultimately a good idea, because they didn’t end up having a real conversation. Instead, Melanthina just stood there expressionless for a while before excusing herself. John might have preferred to let things develop naturally if they had time, but he couldn’t afford to let her choose the wrong totem because she was confused. Hopefully, at least she’d be able to be more intentional this way.
In the same vein, John supposed he ought to be clear with Nik. He wasn’t sure if his opening was necessarily correct, but by the time he really thought about it the words had already been said.
“Young man… do you like my daughter?”
Nik jumped out of his skin at the ambush question. “Well, umm… the thing is… you see…”
John held up his hand. “Just to be clear, it’s fine to answer in either the affirmative or the negative. I’m not going to condemn you for liking her… nor would I blame you if you didn’t, given your earliest interactions. Go ahead and take some time to think.”
Nik did that, finally responding. “I think… I may have grown fond of her passion, even if much of it was directed towards trying to kill me at first. Once I got to spend some time with her not trying to kill each other, I found her to be pleasant company and a reliable combat companion. I am not sure if that’s what you mean, but…”
“It’s fine,” John said. “I think you should tell her whatever it is you truly feel. Perhaps not right away… but I wouldn’t linger too long either. If nothing else, I imagine your sect would want you back eventually.” At least as long as they got to keep him. Perhaps in a few years, they’d snatch him away.
“Of course, sir. I am not certain if the words will be so easy to say to her though.”
“You just have to be honest,” John said. “Which sometimes means saying you don’t know what to say, even if it sounds kind of stupid.”