Chapter 13
Big trouble in little lab coats
A lot happened all at once. Beth had her hand raised in the air, and when she dropped it, everything started. Beth did a half-crunching run out of the tunnel shield. As she got closer, some of the little green guys finally noticed her. That was about the time she was passing where Janet and I were hiding.
At that, Janet and I popped up, each with a hand full of knives, and let them fly at the fuckers. All that training had not gone to waste. Beth, Janet, and I all hit targets with our first throws. Three little green fuckers went down, and then the room became a panic of franticly moving little green men.
We started throwing knives like crazy. There were little green bodies as well as Caprainki's bodies starting to drop left and right. Ten seconds had passed, and Beth was still standing in the middle of the room, tucked behind her small shield, throwing knives as fast as she could pull them from her bag of holding.
Then, out of nowhere, three small metallic orbs were lobed out of the fray at us. Two were way off the mark and actually landed closer to a group of Caprainki that had popped out of a side room than to us. There was one lucky throw, however, that landed close to Beth.
Janet yelled at Beth from cover, “Beth, move, bomb!” I think the only thing that actually registered was a bomb, but that was enough and Beth turned, took about five steps, and then dove as far away from the little orb as she could.
It was a good thing she did, too, because a few seconds after Beth turned, the thing detonated. There was a loud roar of fire followed by a large sphere of intensely hot flames.
The ball of the sphere of fire stayed in place, burning for about three seconds, at which point it simply disappeared, leaving a small crater in the ground right where the grenade-like thing had gone off. The crater was a foot deep at its lowest point. The pack of Caprainkis that had been near the other two grenades did not fair as well as Beth.
Five Caprainkis were incinerated immediately. After that, there was a moment of peace where everyone was kind of in shock at the explosions. Then, from the back of the room, a knife came flying and hit a little green guy in the face, and it dropped. Everyone in the room looked at the little green guy drop, and then shit was back on. The throwing knives were losing their effectiveness as our enemies began to find cover, and we had no choice but to stage a charge. Janet and I got out from behind our cover, and Beth was following right behind us.
As we got within five feet of our opponent's impromptu barricades, we had to duck as four more small metallic spheres were tossed out over our heads, traveling well past Beth. Janet was the first to recover from our sudden doge. She hopped on a turned-over table and brought her axe down on a little green man.
As she did, she yelled out, “Wow, missed me, dumbasses.” I was the next over, and I vaulted a turned-over piece of what looked like lab equipment entering the fray. Beth wasn’t far behind and joined the fight a moment after myself.
We laid into our opponents with fervor, and in the next minute, we had cleaned up all the green dudes and had blocked the entrance to the room the newly born Caprainki were coming from. They were stopped for a moment, but they were going to make it through sooner rather than later.
We were all covered in gore, and all had small cuts on our bodies. There was one moment when we almost lost Janet as well. She got her axe stuck after a particularly hard chop and a bomb thing landed right next to her.
She had given her axe one more tug, but when it didn’t pull free, she just abandoned it and jumped clear. It’s a good thing she did, too. A second after she jumped clear, the thing went off. She didn’t get caught in the blast, and she got a pretty bad burn, being so close to the explosion when it went off.
We had grouped up and were discussing how we were gonna deal with a room full of newly mutated Caprainkis. We had to figure something out soon because they were almost through the barricade we set.
Beth and I were trying to come up with a plane mostly focused on using the entrance to the side room as a pinch point to make a stand. When mid-conversation, Janet cleared her throat, and we looked over at her. She just smiled and held up a bandolier with twelve little metallic spheres hanging off it.
“New plan she said. We throw these at them till they're all dead. What do you think?” Janet said. Beth and I just looked at her for a second till Beth said, “Nice find,” and smiled. I just smiled as well, and off we went to massacre some Caprainkis.
We each took turns lobbing grenades through the doorway till we didn’t see anything moving around in the room anymore.
“Wow only took nine to do the job. I like these things. We should definitely find more of these.” Janet said with a scary grin on her face.
“Hey, calm down, pyro. I don’t know how comfortable I am with you having access to explosives.” I said and gave her a jokingly weary look. She just pushed my shoulder.
“Come on, I know you want to blow stuff up.” Janet gave me a wicked smile like, you know you want to, and from out of nowhere, Beth spoke up. “Oh, you know I want to blow more stuff up. That was great. I didn’t think I’d love that so much.” Then she gave us both a big smile.
Me and Janet just laughed at her. “Now, I didn’t expect that Beth would be the one to come out as a closet pyro, fuck. nothing makes sense anymore. Is up still up? Have pigs flown?” I said, and Beth just punched me in the shoulder.
“Come on, let’s loot this place,” said Beth, and that pulled me out of joking mode and put my loot hamster on full hype mode. If my loot hamster could speak, it would be saying, treasure, treasure, treasure!
Yeah, there was basically no fucking loot. I mean fuck, what a fucking let down! We did find one cool thing. In one corner of the room, there was a crate of those grenade things with about forty inside. I had to admit that was a pretty sweet find.
We had divided them up evenly between our bags of holding and had kept searching the room. At the end of a solid twenty minutes of trying to find more loot, the crate of grenades was still our best find. So, we decided as a group it was time to move on.
We searched the room where all the newly awakened Caprainkis had been, but that was mostly blown to shit, so there was nothing in there. Another room that was attached to the chamber led to pens. Which, you know, just had a lot of goats in them. Beth and I killed four goats before Janet said she felt bad for the poor creatures and asked us to stop, so we did. It looked like it was really making her uncomfortable, so stopping was fine with me and Beth.
I put the four dead goats in my bag of holding, and we moved on. As we got to the back of the room that was housing all the yet-turned goats, Beth noticed a staircase leading deeper into the dungeon.
“Fuck I thought that was it. I thought we just beat the thing, and now there’s another level. Fuck. This burn is starting to itch, too. God dams it. ” Janet said, complaining to the group. I laughed and said,
"come on, Janet. We’ve come this far. Let's fucking finish this thing and get more of that sweet XP.” Janet groaned and let her knees buckle a bit and took a few steps like a winey kid, then said,
“Fine, but let's just take a break for a second. Check our notifications and heal up. I want to see if I gained a level from that last fight. We could use all the stat points we can get if we are about to go up against the boss.”
“ Oh right, the boss dam, I almost forgot but your probably right. Fine, let’s take like an hour or so and get ready for the fight that’s about to come. Cool with you, Beth?” I asked them. Beth just let out a breath, plopped down on the floor next to some goats, and started feeding them some trail mix from her bag of holding.
I just watched her for a moment, then shrugged and sat my ass down on the floor. A second later, Janet joined us, plopping down dramatically with a heavy exhale, and laid back on the floor. I think she was a little bummed she had lost her axe, and I'm sure the burn she got wasn't helping.
She had a spare axe with her that she had scraped to her back, and I guess it was good she did. I think she was still somewhat upset because she didn’t have too many stashed back at the tree house. She’d have to wait for the dungeon to reset to re-up unless we found some kind of armory. Which honestly was probably likely. How else did they outfit all their Caprainkis warriors?
During our break, everyone ate a Senzuketa Bean and drank some mana-kissed water as well as some of our other rations. Our wounds all healed up, even Janet's burn, and I started to clean the knives I’d retrieved from the dead. After I finished with that task I decided it was time to look at my stat sheet.
Travis Mullins
Level: 9
Race: Human
Experience needed to next Level: 8,100/8,510 XP till next Level.
Titles: Lucky Bastard (+2 to luck)
Explorer 1 (+3 to all stats)
Resistances:
Element of fire
Strength: 23
Dexterity: 17
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Intelligence: 17
Wisdom: 15
Constitution: 21
Luck: 14
You have six unassigned stat points to distribute.
“Holy shit!” I couldn’t help but say out loud. Beth and Janet looked over at me, kind of like what the fuck. Janet looked more annoyed, and Beth looked concerned. Janet was still lying on the floor, and Beth had been finishing up cleaning her knives. I looked at them for a second like I had a secret then I couldn’t hold it in anymore,
“oh my god, okay, have you checked your stat sheet yet?” I asked them.
“Not yet. I was gonna check it in a second. Why?” Beth said, and Janet just said, “Nope.”
“Okay, you need to check it now, and I mean now. Holly fuck, we got a lot of XP. I mean, like a fuck ton,” I told them, and Janet sat up. The next second, they both got a far-off look in their eyes. They were quiet for about a second then Janet exploded to her feet and whooped as Beth’s mouth just dropped open in shock.
“XP for days! Are you kidding me? Travis, Travis, I’m on fricking level nine. In one fricking go, I’m level nine!” Janet said with notes of pure joy in her voice. Then she just started laughing. Beth sat there for a second, gobsmacked, and after a little, she just said in a shocked voice,
“Me too, I’m level nine” Then she cleared her throat and refocused her eyes on us, and said again in a louder voice, “I’m freaking level nine. Level nine! Holy cow, this is crazy.” I just started laughing at the two ladies’ reactions.
After about a minute of them just losing it over their massive level gains, they calmed down and sat back down. Then, they each lost focus, and I knew they were checking their notifications and distributing their new stat points.
It was time I did the same. My notifications were just a ton of kill notifications. The little green men were goblins, too, by the way, I could have called that. I also had a couple of level-up notifications mixed in.
“Level up! You were Level 7, and now you’re Level 8. Three stat points have been awarded. You may freely distribute these as you see fit. Kill, get stronger, and fight for money. These are all hallmarks of a great gladiator. Keep it up, you little killer!
“Level up! You were Level 8, and now you’re Level 9. Three stat points have been awarded. You may freely distribute these as you see fit. Kill, get stronger, and fight for money. These are all hallmarks of a great gladiator. Keep it up, you little killer! Never got old. Those fucking kill notifications were always gonna be ridiculous, but now it was time to distribute my new stat points. I decided I was going to go with my usual distribution method, but then I noticed my wisdom was starting to fall behind. I decided it might be time to change things up a little bit.
I put two points into strength and two in constitution, following my usual trends, then I veered off the path well-traveled and put two points into wisdom, and that was all my points gone. Here and gone so fast, fuck!
They were good choices, and I was trying to stay confident with where I placed my points. Hell, I loved seeing my strength rise and could not wait to arm wrestle someone and just fucking crush them.
Travis Mullins
Level: 9
Race: Human
Experience needed to next Level: 8,100/8,510 XP till next Level.
Titles: Lucky Bastard (+2 to luck)
Explorer 1 (+3 to all stats)
Resistances:
Element of fire
Strength: 23
Dexterity: 19
Intelligence: 17
Wisdom: 17
Constitution: 19
Luck: 14
Wow, I was really coming along well. We were gaining level fast, but I knew that wouldn’t last. Man, these quick boosts in the early levels were almost intoxicating.
Janet Katz Stat. Sheet
Level: 9
Race: Human
Experience needed to next Level: 7,990/8,510 XP till next Level.
Titles: Explorer 1 (+3 to all stats)
Strength: 23
Dexterity: 20
Intelligence: 18
Wisdom: 17
Constitution: 19
Luck: 10
Beth Holloway’s
Level: 9
Race: Human
Experience needed to next Level: 7,895/8,510 XP till next Level.
Titles: Explorer 1 (+3 to all stats)
Strength: 22
Dexterity: 21
Intelligence: 17
Wisdom: 15
Constitution: 20
Luck: 9
After we had all distributed our points and cleared out our notifications, the high from our level and stat increases started to wain. we just chilled out for about another half hour and finished our short rest. twenty minutes passed, and Janet couldn’t wait anymore and blurted out,
“Okay, your guys are ready, right? Let’s go do this. The anticipation is killing me.” I just chuckled at her and shook my head, then got to my feet and started streaking.
“Fine, I’m good to go if you are Beth?” I said. Beth stood up and cracked her neck. “Alright, let’s finish this dungeon up. Time to kill a boss,” Beth said. I met her eyes and nodded once.
“Let’s do this,” Janet said, super psyched and gripping her axe haft in clear anticipation. After we had all done one last gear check, we started down the stairs. It only got colder and more damp as we walked deeper into the dungeon, and there were the skittering sounds of small insects every once in a while.
Shit was creepy as fuck. This whole fucking dungeon was fucking creepy, and the sooner we fucking cleared this place out, the fucking better. This staircase was not as long as the one that led to the mad scientist's lab, so that was nice. When we got to the bottom, we continued down another passage for another five minutes till we entered a room that looked like a large ceremonial chamber.
There were tapestries hanging from the Walls and torches hung between them. There was also a double line of six, eight-foot-tall brasher that lined a rug that led up to a massive door at the other end of the room.
There were four guards inside, and they looked like beefed-up goblins. Each one was about six feet tall, and they all were carrying halberds. They were wearing only a breastplate and a loincloth. When we entered the room, the guards turned, noticing us, and then rapidly formed up into a line blocking our way.
They were shoulder to shoulder, halberds raised, and ready to engage. They didn’t say anything. They just stood there waiting for us. We were about twenty feet from them. Then Janet moved. She moved faster than any of the big goblins could react.
Before either Beth or I were aware. Janet let two knives fly one right after the other. One hit a hulk-goblin in the eye. She got the other knife to landing in the goblin next to her first target, hitting it in the neck.tThe hulk-goblins all looked shocked as everyone in the room froze.
Then, the goblin that took the knife in its neck pulled the knife free. A massive spray of blood burst out of the wound, and the goblin then staggered and then fell. Its fellows looked down at their fallen comrade. Then they all turned to look at us. The goblin that Janet had hit in the eye while staring us down slowly pulled the knife from its eye.
It looked super badass and scary, but then when the knife was fully out, he twitched, then had kind of a full-body spasm, and half his body went limp. The big goblin looked really confused. Its two fellows were still just looking at us, mad as hell, totally ignoring their buddy having a moment.
The next moment, they changed us. We readied ourselves to take their charge, and as they approached, I gripped my spear in anticipation. The battle had only lasted about two or three minutes, not to say things hadn’t gotten intense in that time.
When they first engaged us, one had swiped out at us at about chest height, and the third goblin, the one that had taken a knife to the eye, stabbed out, going straight for Janet. Beth was on my right, and Janet was on my left. Beth blocked one of the swings aimed at chest height with her shield, stopping the blow cold.
I then blocked the other swing with my spear. Then, I took advantage of an opening I had created and stabbed one of the slashers right through the head. The spear point even popped out the other side. I yanked my spear free.
As I pulled my spear free, the body dropped to the floor, dead. Janet had managed to block the strike at her face but then had her stick blocked in return. Beth did some quick stuff with her weapons. Catching her opponent off guard. The hulk-goblin got stabbed in the face. Beth's blade punched all the way through its head from the side.
There was now only one left standing, and it was the one Janet had hit in the eye. The guy looked pretty fucked up. I almost considered it a mercy when Beth moved and stabbed it through the neck, killing it. We thought the fight was done at that point, but the goblin Janet had hit in the throat at the beginning of the fight was actually still alive. It was lying on the ground, choking on its own blood.
It didn't even try to attack Beth as she walked over and put her sword through its head. It just gave her a glare full of hatred. Beth stood there for a few seconds and then looked at us like, come on.
We didn’t say anything as we all just walked over to, what we assumed was the entrance to the Boss's room. I stopped and grabbed all the halberds and threw them in my bag on the way over. It kind of looked like a better spear. It would be cool to try them out.
“You guys ready for this?” Beth asked us as we all stood there looking at the large door.
“Yep,” Janet said.
“Me too, let's fuck this mother fucker up.” I said with a toothy grin. Beth just nodded and walked over to open the door. Janet and I readied ourselves behind her. The grand door looked like it was heavy enough to take at least ten strong men to open it, but as Beth pushed, the door swung in easily.
Beth let the door swing in, as we hid ourselves behind the unopened half of the door. As we poked our heads in to see what there was to see, we could see a larger what looked like another hulk-goblin guy, but it had a more animalistic look to it. Large tusks protruded out from its mouth, and it was sitting at a larger wooden table eating.
Even sitting, the goblin looked like it would be a tall fucker, probably close to seven feet. It was basically the build of a linebacker, and it had a very large axe resting agents the chair it was sitting in. The boss goblin was so engrossed in its meal that it didn’t even see the door was open.
There weren’t really any places to hide or set up an ambush in the room. The goblin boss was sitting about thirty feet away from us towards the back of the room. Well within knife-throw range, for sure, but it would be a hard shot. We all pulled our eyes away from the scene before us and tucked back behind the closed portion of the door.
“So, what’s the plan?” I whisper, asking the ladies. Janet rolled her eyes at me and whispered back,
“Yeah, Travis, what’s the plan?” I rolled my eyes back at her and said,
“Fine, we need to figure out a plan, better?” I said just to annoy Janet. Janet was about to make a snarky response, but Beth broke into the conversation before she did.
“That’s enough. We really do need to figure out a plan here. Come on, you losers, help me out here.” Janet and I both looked properly ashamed, and we all got to thinking up a plan to deal with this ass whole. We had started laying out a basic plan when we heard the boss goblin yelling in a language we weren’t able to understand. Then it yelled something again, shorter this time and with a bit of what I thought sounded like maybe inpatients to its voice. Then, after another couple of seconds or so, it yelled again. This time, I could tell it was getting pissed off. How so, you ask? First, it was very loud with an angry bite to the phrasing, and second, a bone with a bit of meat still hanging from it still came flying through the open part of the door.
It landed on the floor of the room we were hiding in with a click-clack till it settled, and there was quiet again. It kind of fucked with our planning session, and we all kind of stared at the bone as it settled to the ground. We just stood there for a second, looking at the femur-like bone in the middle of the floor.
I snapped back to reality after a few seconds and shook my head to kind of wake myself up and I noticed Beth and Janet doing similar things. I turned and looked at Beth and Janet.
“Okay, that just happened. Um, this might get ugly. Are you guys still trying to do this?” I asked them. Beth looked like she was thinking about what I’d said, but Janet looked pissed off at me.
“What?” I asked her. I was kind of confused by her reaction to my question.
“Are you fucking kidding me? No, for real. Are you actually considering turning and walking away now? It's the boss… of the dungeon. Like this is the last thing we have to kill, and then we fucking win.
Like, we beat the freaking dungeon if we kill this guy, and you want to just say, oh, well, we came this far, but let’s just leave. This guy looks way too scary. I don’t want to piss my dipper. Fuck! Come on, let’s kick this motherfuckers ass through his face. Fuck.” Janet finished.
I kind of just stood there slack-jawed, staring at Janet. Beth was doing pretty much the same thing I was, just kind of in shock at Janet’s passionate speech. I thought about her words, and then a devilish grin grew on my face.
“You know, I don’t know what came over me. Thanks, Janet, and you are right. Let’s beat this asshole into the ground. How did you put it… kick its ass through its face? I like it. Let's fucking do it.” I said. Janet gave me an animalistic smile, and we looked at Beth. Instead of answering us, she smelled sweet, almost too sweetly, and just started walking toward the open door.
I looked at Janet, and she was already walking after Beth. I just shook my head, rolled my shoulders, cracked my neck, and followed them through the doorway. As Beth and Janet Had gotten to the opening of the boss room, they had begun to charge, and I was right behind them.