Chapter 10

The Luxurious and the Shitty

Janet and I were like kids in a candy store running around the Coliseum. We were placing bets on fights we weren’t even watching with no idea who the competitors were. Oh, and fuck the odds. We didn’t even pay attention to them. We Just bet on competitors whose names we liked. It was one of my favorite days since the integration, hands down. We watched match after match and spent literally the entire day at the Coliseum. The matches themselves were so enticing. The announcers really hyped up the crowd, too. I couldn’t understand a word they were saying, but the vibe and tone of voice the announcers used would get you going alone.

One fight Janet and I watched was between two magic classes, which was a sight. The fight had started, and shit went from zero to a hundred in an instant. When the referee raised her hand in the air, she had to get out of the way fast because as soon as she said,

“Fight” magical shields had sprung to life around each combatant, and the spells began to fly. That match had been hard to follow. It wasn’t like the monks and the large sword-wielders fight. It was almost a battle of attrition. I don’t know what high-level magic duels were like, but as for the ground floor, it turned out to be whose shield would last the longest. They honestly weren’t as exciting as the weapon users.

There was some cool magic thrown around, don’t get me wrong. It just seemed like they couldn’t do anything flashy enough to get the crowd going at the level most of these fighters were at. There wasn’t much behind each spell. Let me. Put it this way, if I were to fight one of them, I would just dance around with Step Lightly, darting in and out till I smashed throw the mage’s shield, and then they would be fucked.

It was about four o’clock when things started to slow down. The fight stopped, but we were told they would begin again at eight. Most of the vendors shut down until then, and we didn’t want to wait around or pay two hundred to get back in later, so we decided to call it a day a bit earlier than we would have liked. We squared up with the betting terminals, and it turned out we had won a bit of coin off one of the matches we hadn’t watched but had bet on randomly. We liked the guy’s name, so we each bet twenty gold on the dude. The dude’s name was Buttmunchomi. We laughed for about ten minutes after we saw that on the boards.

Janet and I, after getting ourselves under control to various looks of concern from passers-by, immediately bet on the guy, and apparently, the odds had been fucking awful. The guy’s opponent was favored to win with twenty-five-to-one odds, and by some fucking merical, the dude had won. We had heard something about his opponent having a hard night, but I didn’t know the whole story. All I knew was that the guy had won, and Janet and I had made a killing. Five hundred fucking gold coins each. After seeing how much we had won, we booked it to the Inn as fast as possible. We would have to find a bank or something if we were going to start seeing more money like this.

Once we were finally back in our rooms and sitting on the couch. I leaned back and sighed, just staring at the ceiling. Then out of fucking nowhere, Janet punched me in the shoulder.

“Ow, what? Stop it. What did I do?”

“Travis! Shit, we totally forgot to try and go find that monk guy! Damn it! Now, who knows if we will ever see that guy again.”

“Oh, fuck! Your right, damn it!” I was actually bummed about it too. I wasn’t just playing it up for Janet this time.

“Well, honestly, it looks like that monk guy fights a lot. He was fucking badass. I could still kick the shit out of his, but he was still pretty good, you know. So I bet if we keep going to the Coliseum, we will see him on the boards again.” I told her. Janet seemed to be feeling a bit better after I said that. She laid down and put her head in my lap. Then I thought of something that might cheer Janet up.

“Hey, so it’s still early. I was just wondering, do you want to go out and buy some new clothes so we fit in a little better around here and maybe go find a place to have dinner with some of our newfound wealth?” Janet, lying on the couch with her head in my lap, shot up into a seated position. Then she looked at me with a big smile, and we were off.

We spent the next two hours just strolling together, exploring the different shops. Eventually, we each found something we liked. Janet found three, and we then stopped by the Inn to put on our new clothes before dinner. We asked the innkeeper if he knew of any nice places to eat nearby and to hold our dinner for the evening. With a silver in his palm, the innkeeper was more than happy to stop what he was doing and tell us about several local establishments with excellent cuisine.

Janet and I thanked the man for his time and then chose a place to eat called the indulgent Delefesent. The glowing magical sign that pointed to the restaurant’s entrance depicted a fat toad-like creature eating a table of cakes, and underneath was the restaurant’s name. As we walked inside, the noise of the crowded street outside disappeared to almost nothing as a quiet and romantic atmosphere replaced it.

There were candles all over the place, and when the hostess seated us, we found ourselves in a quiet and private booth made of dark wood with comfortable pillows. Of course, there was a candle on our table, but as I inspected it closer, I could see the light it emitted wasn’t from a flame but some kind of magic.

It was peaceful and pleasant to just enjoy a luxurious meal with Janet. It turned out the innkeeper was right, and the food was magnificent. There were seventeen courses, and each dish was more delicious than the previous one. That dinner was one to remember. In this fucked up new reality, Janet and I had found time to enjoy ourselves. I kind of wished Beth was with us to share in the good times, but that was still a sore subject with me. Just thinking about Beth had almost ruined the night, but the food saved the day. The flavors and textures took me away to another world with every bite.

We took our time walking the seven minutes back to the Inn. The night air was warm, and there was almost no breeze. It was nearly the perfect night.

“Hey, Janet?” I asked her as we walked across a bridge over a small river. Janet had been looking over the side of the bridge at the water flowing by beneath us. When I called over, she looked up and walked over.

“yeah, what’s up, Travis?”

“I was just thinking about when I got kicked out of Treehouse. I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you here with me. This wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun without you around.” Janets gave me a soft, caring smile, then linked her arm with mine.

“I know. You’re lucky to have a woman like me around, and with how ugly you look, you’re lucky I even talk to you.” I rolled my eyes at Janet but kept our arms linked as we walked. As we approached the Inn, which was now just a block away, Janet leaned into me, hugging my arm and whispering into my ear with a slight smile on her face.

“I think I love you, Travis.” Janet didn’t meet my eyes after she said what she said, and I must admit I was stunned. I knew feelings had started to grow between us, but I had tamped those feelings down so as not to scare Janet away. But here she was, telling me she thought she loved me. As I thought more about her words, I realized something.

“I think I love you too, Janet.” I stopped walking and turned until Janet and I were face to face. She still wouldn’t meet my eyes, but as I looked at her, I placed my hand under her chin and tilted her head back till she met my gaze. I saw that her eyes were wet, and Janet looked like she would cry. I then placed my hand on the back of her head, and we kissed deep and long. It was a kiss for lovers and lovers we were. I held Janet tight after our kiss, and we stayed like that, embracing each other for a few moments. It felt good, and I didn’t want to let her go.

Eventually, we separated from our embrace and continued back to the Inn.

That night, Janet and I made love. We had banged it out many times, but this was the first time it had felt so intimate. That day was one for the books. The Coliseum, the shopping, the dinner, and now the sex. I was content, and that night, with Janet in my arms, nothing else mattered.

We woke the following day to a few knocks on our door. The knocking stopped after a few seconds, and then I heard footsteps heading away from our door. It looked like breakfast was here, and I was hungry. I popped out of bed and grabbed the food, setting it on the table in the living room before running off to the bathroom to handle some business. When I returned, Janet was out of bed and snacking on a piece of bacon.

“Moring, lover boy,” Janet said as I walked over to the table to join her for breakfast. I couldn’t help but smile as I kissed her before sitting beside her.

“What was that for?” Janet asked me as I sat down.

“Just because I love ya,” I told her, and Janet blushed furiously before leaning over and giving me a peck on the cheek.

“Good,” was all she said, and I couldn’t help it. I laughed. I felt like Princess Leia. I had just told Han I loved him, and he looked at me and said, “I know.”

Fuck, I really did love this crazy woman.

After we finished breakfast, we headed back to the Coliseum. We had both decided yesterday that we needed to be part of the action, so today, we planned to find out how to do just that. We put on our armor as we left for the Coliseum. We figured if there was some kind of tryout before they let you compete, it was better to be dressed for the occasion.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

We found the window we had visited the day before and decided that would be the best place to start. There was another line, but it was about half as long as yesterday. It was early in the day, so that may have helped. The line moved quickly, and we soon stepped up to the window. A different clerk was sitting at the table behind the window than the day before yesterday. This time, it was a three-foot rabbit. It had a little suit on and a fucking top hat. There was even a little chain that Im sure was connected to a little pocket watch tucked away in a little pocket. I almost audibly awed, but I held it in. Janet did not.

“Aww, so cute. Oh shit, sorry, my bad,” Janet said after her aww, so cute got a disapproving look from the rabbit.

“I’m sorry about that. Please forgive us for the faux pa if you can. The integration has been… a lot.”

“Sir, it is understandable. Thank you for the apology. I appreciate it. Now, how may I assist you today?”

“We were interested in finding out how to become a participant in the fights held here. Is that possible?” The rabbit smiled, understanding.

“Yes, sir, that is very possible. There is a window for potential combatants to register. It is located between gate 37 and gate 38. It is open from seven in the morning until six in the evening. If you would like a map of the Coliseum, we sell one for ten coppers.” We bought the map, just in case, and thanked the rabbit before heading out to register.

We were at gate 12 and would have to walk almost a quarter of the way around the Coliseum to get where we needed to go. It took us about an hour to walk there. As the day went on, more people filled the streets. The thicker the crowd, the slower we had to walk. We eventually made it and were greeted by another fucking line. This one must have had two hundred and fifty people in it. Every member of the line looked like they had the same idea we had about their potentially being a tryout or something and had come dressed ready for a fight.

I looked at Janet as she sighed, and her expression visibly deflated. Then we saw someone enter the line, shortly followed by another, and we hurried to get into the line before it got any longer. We ended up standing in that line for a while, and maybe a minute after we had got into line, a young alien male with red skin, elf-like ears, white hair, and dark red eyes, wearing the fanciest armor I had ever seen in my life got into line behind us. An older alien got in line along with him, but instead of a comrade in arms, it seemed more like his butler.

The butler-looking fellow was dressed to the nines in a fine suit. His white hair was slicked back, and he wore white gloves. They looked like a cotton blend to me. After standing in line for about ten minutes, I looked at Janet and tried to get her attention. When she met my eyes, I smiled at her and then tilted my head slightly back and to the side, gesturing at the pair behind me. Janet had snuck a peek, and when she’d looked back at me after, she had rolled her eyes and held back a giggle. I smiled, and our time in the line continued.

We were about halfway through the line, and maybe an hour and a half had passed. It was around then that the guy behind us started to talk mad shit. He must have gotten bored or tired of waiting. The young alien had started getting antsy after the first hour hit. He started snapping at his butler and then, at one point, had even said something and smacked the butler across the face twice in quick succession. I had almost turned around there and then and told the guy off, but you know, fuck I just wanted to mind my own business and get to the front of the line. That was their business. Who was I to get involved? Then, once an hour and a half had passed, he had moved on from his butler to his surroundings.

I mean, I didn’t understand what the guy was saying. I could just see him out of the corner of my eyes, point at things, and say something, and then a look of pure disgust would appear on his face. It when on like this till we were two hours in, and even Janet, who had her full attention affixed to the front of the line, had started to notice the asshole behind us. It was when shortly after the two-hour mark when I felt a tug on the clothing by my shoulder, and I looked back to see the guy looking at me as if I was a pile of shit on the ground that he didn’t want to step in.

The rich little shit then said something in a language I couldn’t understand. The people around us all looked shocked at the man’s words, but I didn’t understand a word he had said. Once the guy had finished his apparently incredibly insulting statement, he smirked and looked at me like, what are you gonna do about it bitch. I just turned around in line till we were face to face.

“Hey, fuck head. Are you talking to me? Cause I don’t understand a word you’re saying. I then turned back around and continued to stand in line, ignoring the fuck head. Janet Laughed right in the guy’s face before she followed my lead. That apparently had pissed the guy off really well, and a few seconds passed in silence till a guy behind us spoke up again, but this time, he was speaking English.

“Of course, there savages, I should have figured. If Rif Raf, like them, are allowed in the city, why are we even here? This planet is disgusting, and the local species is ugly beyond belief. I’ve heard that one of their most popular religions claims that their race is a product of incest. It would make sense, they’re all fucking in-bread idiots. Look at these two. I bet she’s his sister, and they have fucking little idiot children together. I tell you, one night with her, and you’re guaranteed to catch something.” And that was it. I had tried to control myself. I knew the fucker was baiting me. Just waiting for me to react, but at that point, I couldn’t take it, and I snapped. I whipped around and, in one fluid motion, grabbed the front of the rich little shits armor and got right in his face.

“Watch your fucking mouth, you little shit. One more word, and I don’t give a fuck who sees it. I’ll fucking kill you right here right now. I’ll rip that tin can off you and shove it up your ass. The kid gulped, but soon enough, that confidence of a wealthy, I get whatever I want from daddy, spoiled brat attitude returned, and he replied.

“Just what I would expect from an in-bread, piece of trash, sister fucking, simpleton. Is that all you got?” The kid finished speaking, and I was so close to punching him in the face. I was gritting my teeth and trying to control my temper. Then the fuckers butler punched me in the face, hard. I went down, and my face bounced off the stone street. After I hit the ground, all I could think was, that fucking hurt. It only took a moment to get my barrings, and I shot to my feet. As I did, the butler shot another two quick punches in my face.

This wasn’t great. I had been trying so hard to avoid this situation. I had tried to control my emotions, but this asshole wanted to fucking die the way he was talking. I knew I was being an idiot, but I couldn’t fucking help it. I was seeing red. I dodged the first of the two punches from the butler, but the second caught me on the cheek and surprisingly drew blood. I was past his guard now and wouldn’t miss the opportunity. I shot out a jab and an uppercut. The jab made contact, sending the butler’s head snapping back, but before my uppercut could connect, the little shit kicked me in the side, sending me sprawling onto the ground.

At that point, someone called the city guards, and they stepped in to stop the altercation. As I got to my feet, ready to fucking kill this little shit, I saw that the situation had taken a turn. There was a guard wearing a tabard with the city seal emblazoned on it in gold. A large sword was strapped to his back, and he was in full-plate mail minus the helmet. Two other city guards stood next to their fellow as he stood between me and my attackers.

“What’s going on here? This city will not tolerate violence perpetrated in the street. If you are set on settling your differences with violence, please do so in a sanctioned duel registered at the central administration office. Otherwise, you will be taken into custody for disturbing the peace of this city.” I was standing behind the guard as he addressed the rich kid and his butler. I was all in my feels, too. In my head, I had a running commentary going. The guard would say something like “violence will not be tolerated in the streets of this city.” Then, I would say something along the lines of, yeah, that’s right, you rich little shithead. You’re so fucked now.

I had been feeling pretty good about it, too, till the guard turned around and looked at me with an intense glare on his face.

“You understand me, local?” The righteous anger that had been simmering raged back, and suddenly, I couldn’t speak. Well, that’s not right. I could have spoken to the guard, but if I had opened my mouth, I might have said something I would have regretted. I stared down the city guard till he scoffed and looked away.

“This little shit started insulting us out of nowhere, and then his fucking butler punched him in the face! How would you expect us to react after being pushed like that?” Janet tried to appeal to the city guard and help him understand the situation better.

“That’s enough. Get back in line and shut up, or we’ll take you in. You got me local?” Janet looked shocked at the man’s hostility, but she let it slide and shut her mouth. I could tell it was fucking killing her to do so, but it really was the only way we might get out of this situation without going to jail.

“That’s better.” The guard said and turned to address the young shithead again.

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, Lord Malicon, but please understand that we are only doing our job here. If you still have a quarrel with this local, you may request a duel and deal with him as you wish then, but this disturbance will not go any further. As for right now, I would ask you to respect the rules of the city and avoid fighting in an unsanctioned altercation. If you do, we will be forced to intercede again.”

“Very well, but I will be speaking to the viceroy on this matter. I should be allowed to protect my dignity anytime I like. Permit be damned. Do believe the viceroy will hear about this. Now what will you do with this scum?”

“my lord?” Well, they must be punished for their insolence, do you not agree?”

The city guard looked incredibly uncomfortable at the young lord’s words. The guard also looked like he was trying to think of a way to tell the young lord that he couldn’t do as he requested but was struggling to find the right words.

“My lord… um, there is nothing I can punish these locals for. As I said, if you wish to continue this matter, I request that you do so in a sanctioned duel. Please understand.” the young lord’s face had been growing redder and redder with every word the guard had said. By the time he was finished talking, the young prick looked like he was going to blow a gasket.

“Then what good are you? Trash! This whole city is trash! Even the city guards are fucking useless. I bet they have been sleeping with the locals and caught something. That’s it. Bentley, we’re leaving. I was just here for some fun and to spend my family’s massive fortune, but I’ve changed my mind. Fuck this city, and you better watch your back, you fucking locals. You’re worth less than the dirt on my boot. You made a mistake today, and you will deeply regret it. Mark my words. Bentley, come!” Then, The young lord turned and backhanded his butler across the face again. Then he stormed off.

The guard sighed as if the situation had worn him out, but he turned and glared at me again.

“You fucked up big time. Fucking locals and with a member of the Malicon family at that.” The guards began to leave, but I could hear that one guard just chuckling to himself and saying things like, “So fucked. Your so fucked.” Then he would laugh again. I watched the guards walk off, then got back in line with Janet.

“Fucking assholes.”

“Fuck them. Don’t think about it. We were getting closer to the front. We’ll register, then go back to the Inn and chill out. Okay?”

“No, you’re right. I mean, I know you’re right, but… ah, that fucking asshole and then the fucking guards, but your right fuck them. That sounds like a plan to me. You okay?”

“hu? Oh yeah, im fine. Just wow, thought, you know. That guy was a fucking trip. He was such a piece of shit. I couldn’t actually believe it for a minute. Then the shit hit the fan, and before I knew it, the guard was standing right there. Honestly, it was just a lot all at once, but it’s done now, so like I said fucking forget about them.”

It was hard to get over what had just happened, but talking to Janet while standing in line and just joking around helped. Then, I felt a tug on my shoulder, and all I could think was, this mother fucker came back? I whipped around, causing Janet to yell at me and glare. What I thought would be a young, rich shithead back for more. It turned out I was wrong, and the first human we had met in the city looked like he had just shit his pants.

“Oh, shit, man. Fuck hey, im sorry. I thought you were this other guy trying to fight me earlier. Anyway, it’s not important. Um… how can I help you?”