Chapter Fourteen: That’s the First Monkey I’ve Seen All Day.

The noise was so loud that he could hardly think.

The smoke was so thick that he could barely breathe.

It was so packed, there was no room to move.

This was hell.

Club MOGRA won’t be found listed on any tourist guidebooks of Tokyo. Far from the main street and the maid cafes, It’s hidden in side a small, two story building on a dark and narrow backstreet of the only block to still bear the address Akihabara.

It was opened just a year earlier by a DJ going by the name D-YAMA. Since then MOGRA had been slowly building itself up as the geek’s answer to the nightclubs of Roppongi. A mix of Techno, Trance, and Electronic, but mated with anime theme songs and 8-bit video game samples, it was another example of the culture war that was ongoing over the soul of the geek capital of Japan.

Trash hated it.

It’s not that he disliked the concept. DJs mixing tracks while wearing maid costumes, spinning acid-house infused versions of songs like A Cruel Angel’s Thesis, to a room full of bandana-wearing hardcore fans dancing the wotagei, couldn’t possibly be more on brand.

Trash just hated clubs. All of them. He hated the noise. He hated how crowded and packed they were. He hated the weird social dynamics of an outcast subculture mimicking the behavior of the society they self-isolated from.

He also hated cover charges.

He tightened his grip on the tiny paper ticket. He wanted to head over to the bar right now and order something. The problem was that he had only received two tickets for his 2,000 yen admission fee. The first had already been used at the upstairs bar.

A thousand yen for a glass of orange juice. This was pure robbery. The second ticket needed to last him the rest of the night. There was no way he was going to pay more cash for another drink in this trap.

It’s just that it was so hot. The tiny room, packed with people dancing and convulsing, not to mention the projection screens and the rows of computers and DJ equipment, was easily defeating the small A/C unit in the back of the room.

Trash looked across the room, a space no larger than the factory space on the first floor of his apartment. Pazu was there, dancing with his waitress/girlfriend, Saki.

She was dressed up as one of those Vocaloids, Luka Megurine. Trash was sure not many people would be able to recognize her, however. Unlike the distinct blue twin ponytails of the headliner Vocaloid, Luka was new, with a more subtle design compared to the others in the series. The unique ear coverings and oversized armbands were enough for Trash to easily identify her costume.

Satsuki, the traitorous maid from Cure Maid Cafe, who had sent the picture of Danny and himself to Saki, was up on the DJ platform. She was part of the team headlining the night, Seburo C-X + Satsuki.

Her outfit tonight was Super Sonico, the recently popularized mascot character from Nitroplus. He had to admit that it was the perfect cosplay for the venue. The Hatsune Miku craze was already starting to die down, and Nitroplus had been pushing their concerts and music-theme video games for years, building up a solid fanbase. He wouldn’t be surprised if they were supporting the group to promote Sonico as the next Miku.

The costume was simple, but well-made. Her wig was similar to the one that Saki was wearing, but a lighter shade of pink, and the top was easily recognizable by both the signature white and blue color and pattern, and the explosively overstretched chest area, the “charm point” for this character design.

In spite of that, the part of the outfit that drew Trash’s attention was the headphones. He was sure they were ATH-AD1000X’s. They were painted white and blue, and had some weird crap glued to the cans, but he had spent enough time trying them out to tell the difference between the 1000X and cheaper models like the 500X.

How and why anyone would deface a 100,000 yen pair of audiophile headphones, he had no clue. Especially when the cheaper version looked almost identical and cost 20% as much. He got strange vibes from her at the cafe, but after learning that she and Saki were friends, and then getting dragged out to watch her perform on stage dressed as a slutty band groupie, bouncing to the beats of yet another Mario Kart techno remix, Trash had serious doubts. The headphones were just the last nail in the coffin.

He was very much not a fan.

He moved to the back of the room, and then squeezed up the narrow staircase full of people, arriving on the first floor. It was still just as crowded here, and almost as noisy, but the lack of smoke machines added a rumor of fresh air from the front door still provided a major improvement. Not that it helped Trash with his mood.

He dropped the ticket on the bar and ordered a 1,000 yen coke, wondering again what madness had possessed him to join this carnival.

He was halfway through his coke when he was reminded of the answer.

Pazu was standing at the top of the stairs with a panicked look on his face.

「Where did you go? Satsuki is still in the middle of her set.」

「Dude, what happened to you? You used to be cool.」

「Very funny, I know this isn’t really your thing. I mean, it isn’t my thing either, you know that. But I finally have a hot girlfriend, and if she wants to come. What do you expect me to do?」Pazu looked somewhat apologetic, which for some reason made Trash even more annoyed.

「Well, that sounds like a you problem. You don’t need me here, so can I go now?」

Pazu put on a weepy face and grasped Trash by his shoulders.

「You can’t leave me here alone. I’ll die.」

「Give me a drink ticket. Then I’ll stay till the set is over.」

「But it’s my last one…」

Pazu produced the ticket and held it like a man dying of dehydration in the desert holds a bottle with a single mouthful of water left.

Trash downed the rest of his coke and placed the cup back on the bar. He turned toward the door dramatically.

「Fine, fine. Take it!」Pazu forced the tiny slip of paper into Trash’s fingers, then directed him back down the stairs.

As he looked around the room of geeks and weirdos, Trash had doubts about his future.

Even with the money problems taken care of, temporarily at least, he still needed to find a new place to live.

There weren’t a lot of apartments that he could afford, at least not so close to the center of Tokyo. Moving away, however, put him further from his current streams of revenue. Was it time for him to give up the Akihabara life and get some basic job somewhere?

No matter how he looked at it, he was on a path that led nowhere. He wasn’t even making enough to pay for rent and food. If he did anything else, he wouldn’t be making much more, and he wouldn’t even have the time to keep doing what he was doing. He could work in convenience stores and maybe grab another part-time job somewhere. That would stabilize things, but then what? There’s no path leading away from there.

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He always knew he couldn’t do the normie thing. Work a pointless job until you retire, hoping to have enough time left to travel the country in vapid tour groups until he died of boredom? But he couldn’t go full geek either. He knew plenty of those types. They worked IT jobs, or had other qualifications, giving them access to money and security. But they spent most of their time working just so that they could turn around and spend the rest of their time and all of their money on their hobbies.

The small sliver of time they had left after working was their true life. The rest was just a painful dream that repeated every day.

Trash didn’t want to spend a life like that. Hating what you were doing to satisfy the eyes of everyone around you, only happy in your wonderful room, reading novels and comics, watching cartoons, and playing with toys.

His mind went back to the old goat in Harajuku. Danny called him The Fixer. How is that even a job? Just introducing people to other people? You would have to know some amazing people, Trash thought to himself. He needed to ask Pazu about those pictures…

Seburo C-X + Satsuki was finally done with their performance and the Emcee was letting everyone know who the next group was. It would take a while to reset the equipment and immediately there was a rush to the stairs as people wanted to step outside to get away from the sauna, or grab a smoke.

The two guys who ran most of the equipment were busy breaking down their gear, while Saki was helping Satsuki with the mixing boards and the laptops that she had been using. They loaded everything into protective cases, then Saki walked over and handed Trash both of the heavy shoulder bags.

「Huh?」

「What do you mean, Huh?」Saki stepped into his space, prompting Trash to take a step back.

「Why am I carrying this?」

「What? You want to walk out of here empty-handed while these two fragile flowers are loaded up like pack animals?」she said while pointing to herself and Satsuki.

「What about Pazu?」

「Pazu? One of these bags would break him in half. What’s the point of feeding a gorilla like you if we can’t take advantage of your uselessly large body when it counts?」

Pazu gave him a look. Part apology, part prayer, part exasperation.

Trash wanted to fight back, but he was too tired. It had been a long day, and he was about to be freed. All he had to do was carry these bags up to wherever they were going to get a taxi, and he would finally be able to call an end to this day.

Grabbing both bags, he hoisted them on his shoulders. The stairs were finally clear enough that he could move up with all the extra weight, though he almost toppled backward while climbing the steep, narrow steps.

Stepping out into the cool evening air, he set the bags down, and stretched.

Luckily, the rain from the night before had not continued, and while there were some low clouds that he could see from the city light reflecting back down, the streets were dry.

He was about to ask Pazu where the girls were going to change, when they stepped out onto the road beside him.

「Well, lead the way,」 Saki ordered.

「Umm,」 Pazu raised his hand nervously.

Saki squinted at him with an evil glare.

「You forgot to ask him, didn’t you?」

「Well, no. Technically, I didn’t forget…」

「You chickenshit, stupid owner!」

Trash did not like the sound of this. He scanned the street to see if there was anything stopping him from dropping the bags and making a run for it.

Sensing his friend’s motivation, Pazu stepped over and grabbed Trash by the elbow.

「You see, the girls didn’t want to change inside MOGRA or in a public bathroom. Satsuki is going to stay over at my place with Saki tonight, and they wanted to just walk from here… but…」

「You can’t be serious.」

「Well, your place is just a couple of blocks away… they can’t really walk the whole way to Charon dressed like that, can they?」

「What do you mean? This is Akihabara. If anything, they look more normal here than we do. A couple of weeks ago, I was coming back from a line-up at two in the morning and passed a dude in kigurumi masked cosplay, dressed as Madoka Magica.」

「Wait, seriously?」

「Yeah. Walking up Showa Street.」

「You sure it was a guy? I mean, how can you tell?」

「It was 2 AM on a dark side street. Of course, it was a guy.」

Pazu and Trash shared a look, then burst out laughing.

「Come on. Just let them use it for ten minutes.」

「You have lost your freaking mind if you think-」

「What’s the big deal? I mean, aren’t you going to move out anyway?」

That comment was a bucket of cold water in Trash’s face.

He wanted to feel offended, but he couldn’t find any part of himself to take offense. It’s not like he cared what either of the girls thought of him or his lifestyle. Nor did he feel like he needed to protect the factory from the judgment of strangers.

Still, he could see some hesitation on Pazu’s face, as if he also realized the iffy nature of his observation.

「First floor only.」

「Huh? The garbage dump?」

「They can use the bathroom. It’s clean-ish. No going upstairs.」

「Comrade Trash! You are a true gentleman!」

「Shut up. Let’s go. This crap is heavy.」

Pazu gave the girls a thumbs up, then they proceeded to walk North underneath the elevated train tracks. It was early enough that the trains were still running, the sound soothing Trash’s frayed nerves.

He realized that wherever he ended up, he hoped there was a train line nearby, otherwise he might never get a good night’s sleep again.

「You can’t be serious! This is the ‘factory’ you’re always talking about? It’s just a run-down shop. Is it even legal to live in a place like this? It looks like an abandoned property!」

「Saki!」

「No way! I’m not changing in there, it’s probably filled with mice and cockroaches! The bathroom at the convenience store would be better.」

「Be my guest.」

Trash was done. If anyone else on the planet asked him to let someone into his home, he would have ignored them completely.

「Wait!」Pazu pleaded.

「Saki, you’re being mean. It doesn’t look that bad. Anyway, there is no way I am walking all the way back to Ueno like this. I’m going in.」Just like that, Satsuki walked into the door marked Ooba Industries.

The remaining three people on the street stared at each other. Then Saki ran in after her friend.

「Satsuki! Wait!」

Trash was about to follow them in when Pazu stopped him, pulling on his jacket sleeve.

「Wait. Don’t go in yet. We’re not done yet.」

Trash was confused at first, but then he understood what Pazu was saying. A look of horror crossed his face.

「No… you can’t. I’m tired. I want to go inside and go to sleep. It’s been a crazy day. Thank you. Enjoy the night with your crazy girlfriend and her bestie. Good night.」

Trash turned, but Pazu refused to release his grip.

「I said, I’m tired. I came out because you begged. I even brought them here and let them inside. An act that shall never be repeated in this life. I am done! Good night!」

「Please! Trash. You can’t abandon me like this. We are comrades, correct? We survived the battle of Baldur Bay together, did we not? Did we not spill the purple blood together, protecting the city of New Mombasa?」

「That’s low, bringing the Master Chief into this.」

「Please? I’ll go in and make sure they don’t mess up anything or go upstairs. Just stay here, okay? They’ll be done in a minute. I promise. Just stay. Okay? Please?」

Gesturing at him like he was a dog waiting outside a shop for its master, Pazu went inside and closed the door.

Trash didn’t want to know what was going on. He just wanted to go inside and go back to sleep. He would wait for five more minutes in honor of the spirit of the Xbox that was a casualty of their marathon HALO 3 campaign, but no more.

Ten minutes later, the girls emerged, followed by a chagrined Pazu.

Trash blinked. It was indeed late, but his brain was trying to resolve what he was seeing.

He had seen Saki in street clothes a few times. Surprisingly few, to be sure. She would always dress up in the restaurant in one of her character costumes. This wasn’t exactly a requirement of her job, but it was how she and Pazu had met, and it was a key component to her getting the job in the first place.

If anything, seeing her in her street clothes was more disturbing. A long, conservative skirt, simple blouse with a thin cardigan sweater, and her long black hair braided neatly and tied up. She wore no jewelry and only applied simple make-up.

This was not Saki, it was Hanako Tsuchiya. Calling her by that name while she was in costume invited a death blow, but when she was dressed like this, he could get away with calling her Tsuchiya. Only Pazu dared use her real first name.

The bigger surprise was with the third person in the group exiting the factory.

Trash had met many cosplayers during his time in Akihabara. Many were very talented at changing their appearances. None of them were even close to the chameleon currently standing outside of his house.

The cheerful pink-haired cherubic musician, decked out in skin-tight and overtaxed gym wear, was nowhere to be seen. Neither was there a trace of the prim and proper, British-style maid from the other day.

The woman, who was perhaps a year or two older than he was, stood in front of him now wearing baggy, ripped jeans, an old t-shirt covered by a black leather biker jacket with the arms cut off. The childish face with thick pink glasses of Sonico was almost unrecognizable in this more mature visage, now sporting several piercings in her nose and along the left side of her bottom lip.

The tattoos that covered her entire exposed right arm would have been her most attention-drawing characteristic had it not been for hair. The entire right side was shaved to the skull, while the other half was dyed purple and kept long enough to sweep across her head and almost touch the top of her right shoulder.

The thing that brought a shiver down Trash’s spine was not her eccentric outfit, however. She was, after all, a cosplayer, notwithstanding the depth of her transformation. It was the cold and amused look in her eyes, and the confident stride and body motions.

Trash had just met someone like that this morning. A predator in a country full of herbivores.

「Hi, nice to finally introduce myself. My name is Meguri Sakakibara.」

“You can call me Meg,” she added in English.