28. Floor 2: Electric Boogaloo Floor 2 Sucks, Too!
12 days until the festival. Prioritizing Tower rehabilitation. Floor decorations: canceled. Double XP weekend: canceled. Petting zoo: canceled. Fireworks: canceled. Battle bikini tournament: canceled. Evaluating emergency protocols………………
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I got up and walked around the dimly lit base. Somehow, Pyro had managed to carve tiny vents that doubled as windows, letting the perpetual sunlight stream in from a dozen tiny slits. Well, I knew that he created them with his earth manipulation, but I didn’t know how or why the slimes weren’t coming in. Maybe it had to do with the pitfall trap I saw the day before.
My wandering brought me to a row of rock shelves, all labeled and filled with different supplies and to a different degree. For example, the shelves marked as containing various forms of food were pretty sparse, while the shelves marked for common soothing were packed. I would definitely need to loot some food today while I was out. It would be a shame to have to crawl back to the Slums with our tails between our legs because we were starving and couldn’t sustain our population of a whopping eighteen people. Well, it would soon be sixteen. Two of our numbers were Em’s friends, only here to get classes and dip out. Anything to get on that monster’s good side, really.
Josh, the durability guy, was combing through the shelves farther down when he saw me also examining the supplies.
“Hey!” He called out. “Cool pants.”
I looked down, confused for a moment, before realizing that I had the pair of green pants slung over my arm.
“Oh, yeah. It’s been my pillow since I don’t have one. It sucks, to be honest.” I laughed a bit at the lameness of my predicament. We were in an earthen bunker under thousands of slimes and I was worried about pants. Well, pillows.
“Hey, I’ve got a spare blanket. I’ll trade you for the pants.”
I looked between my funky pair of dark green pants and the man in front of me. I mean, a pair of pants was a pair of pants, but they were just so… Green. I shrugged and happily accepted the trade. Josh ran off and came back with the blanket. It was a blanket alright, but it had probably never been called comfy. It was more tarp than blanket, but the pile of brown burlap was a bit of an upgrade from the pants, I guessed.
Josh stripped off his old pants and put on the new ones, obviously not shy in the slightest. He fiddled with the pants, somehow able to adjust them so that they fit the way he wanted. I wasn’t sure if it was part of his skill set or if it was a property of the pants, but they fit perfectly within no time.
“Litty bitty! Wanna help me test something, Théo?”
“Uh, sure?”
I followed the dark haired man to a section of the base where a few basic weapons had been laid out. I must admit, he pulled off the green. Maybe it was the confidence, maybe it was his much more tanned skin, but it didn’t look nearly as ridiculous as if I were to try wearing them. He handed me a small knife, then held up his old pair of pants.
“These pants are from the Slums. Nothing special. I reinforced their durability with my skill. Try stabbing through them, as hard as you can.”
Shrugging, I gripped the knife tightly, reached up, then brought the knife down, stabbing as hard as I could into the brown fabric. The knife struggled, but managed to sink in about two inches instead of passing cleanly through.
Josh nodded sagely. “As I thought. Durability isn’t stability. My skill works on clothing, too, without making them difficult to wear. Got it. Now, try my new pants.”
With that, he stripped off his green pants, infused them with his skill, then held them out to me. Again, I brought the knife down, but this time it didn’t penetrate. The pants sagged and stretched, but the knife didn’t even leave a mark.
“Totally freakin’ awesome! I knew it! This means that pants looted from Floor 1 are inherently sturdier than the ones from Floor 0. I’ll start reinforcing, we need everyone in this stuff. I bet it holds up better against slimes, too, not just pointy things. I’ll get Thwain to test it.” He ran off, slipping on his new pair of pants as he went, hopping awkwardly onto one leg, then the other.
I returned to the shelves of organized loot, continuing to look through the different stuff we had amassed. There were the typical shirts, pants and other noob gear, but there were also items that I hadn’t seen before. I reached for what looked like a snowglobe. Suddenly, Pyro came zooming into the cavern, carried by a throne made entirely of rock. The throne raced along the floor, moving through the dirt as if through water. He screeched to a halt in front of a shelf, snagged a small jar, then started to speed off before stopping, noticing I was there.
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“Rank two, you son of a bitch!” Pyro hollered, a ginormous smile stretching his face beneath his thick black beard. He wheeled around in circles before rushing towards me, still seated in his chair.
“Pyro, when’s the last time you slept?” I asked, pointing to all of the new additions.
“I slept… Like… Two whole hours!” He said, unscrewing the jar that he had snagged from the shelf. He raised it up to his face, then opened his mouth wide. The little blue cube of jelly inside the jar wiggled, then jumped right into his mouth. He chewed twice, then swallowed, opening up a hole in the floor to hide his garbage.
I just stared blankly at him. It was disgusting, but I was also supremely intrigued.
“Been callin’ em slime pots. They give you a boost of energy, like Tower-spawned coffee directly from the Tower Gods.”
“Mana, too, or just energy?”
“Just energy. Like a good power nap,” he explained.
“Careful, buddy. I don’t want you to burn yourself out.”
“Burn meself out? This is the most fun I’ve ever had! You kiddin’? Imma go test this new rank. Lets me shift dirt faster. More efficiently, too, if I’m touchin’ it. More expensive if it’s at range, but that still lets me do lots more in less time. Holler if ya needs me. Oh, and there’s a set of stairs goin’ outside. Should be safe. Ish.” He sped off, angling directly for a stone wall. When he was almost going to crash, the wall split open just wide enough to let him pass, his throne shrinking a bit to fit but not reducing in speed at all.
I walked along the shelves, looking for the slime pots. Before I found them, however, something else caught my eye. On one of the shelves was a slime card. I snagged it, feeling guilty for taking it, but confident that Pyro wouldn’t mind. It was exactly the same as the two other cards I had: a small playing card with a copper border and a painting of a slime inside. I stacked all three cards, waiting for anything to happen. Nada. Sighing, I put the cards in their usual pouch and kept looking at the shelves. When I found the correct shelf, I discovered it was absolutely filled with slime pots. Either they had been dropping a lot or nobody other than Pyro had dared try them. I took two and went to find my next set of passengers.
I found both of Em’s friends, plus Jean and a man named Jeb. I wanted to get the students back to the Slums first, since they would soon need to go to their classes. The other two were just the first people I found. The kids would probably be late, but being scolded was worth a class, I was sure of it. We climbed the new set of stairs in the middle of the base, emerging above ground atop a squat tower ringed with blades of all sorts. Slimes gathered and tried to climb, but impaled themselves repeatedly on the reinforced weapons, killing themselves in droves. I looked around, but didn’t find a convenient way down. I summoned Slimey anyway, sending him over the edge and crashing into his miniature brethren below as we reentered the base, hollering for Pyro.
The Geomancer grumbled about us being no fun for not wanting to rappel down the tower as he opened up a doorway to the outside. Slimey made sure our path was clear, then we exited once more, wreathed in my monster’s protective embrace. I smiled smugly as Slimey easily surrounded us and rose up four feet, easily blocking the suicidal slimes. We could probably escort more people if we were willing to carry shields and constantly beat back slimes, but I much preferred the peaceful and protected way, even if it meant more trips at the end of the day. Not needing to stay fully alert for the entire trip, watching and waiting for danger at any second, would allow me to make more trips in a day, anyway.
We made it to the portal to Floor 2 within fifteen minutes, briskly walking within Slimey’s protection. The others were still pretty skittish, not wanting to let their guards down in case the behemoth slime got overwhelmed. I, on the other hand, dreamt of possible upgrades for my class as we went, confident in my summon’s abilities and ever-increasing size.
As we approached the portal to Floor 2, I couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline. New classes were always exciting. I decided to use the opportunity to test something that I hadn’t had the chance to test, yet. I let the others exit Slimey’s embrace, then I instructed Slimey to enter the portal with me. To my surprise, when we appeared on the other side, I wasn’t drowning in sludge. Slimey was still around me in the same way that he had been when we touched the portal. I hurriedly stepped to the side, getting Slimey out of the way of the others, careful not to aggro any of the goblins that were packed so tightly it was a miracle they could breathe. I didn’t want to have to explain to Pyro and Thwain that I had accidentally had Slimey eat our passengers.
As the others entered, they each had the glassy look of someone reading a prompt. They all quickly shared after reading, rereading and confirming their classes and skills. Sasha, one of Em's friends, was given a class that let her manipulate shadows. It didn’t sound awesome in the perpetual sunlight of Floor 1, but it would be invaluable in the shady Slums. Marc, Em’s other friend, received a class that let him teleport himself and small objects. He wisely waited until we got back to base to test it. Jeb was given the Woodworker class, one that let him manipulate and strengthen… Well, wood. Finally, Jean received the Barrier Master class, a class that let him create and manipulate barriers of force magic.
As the excitement from the new classes died down, I finally took a moment to look around. The portal didn’t look any different, though the dark stone circle surrounding it was at least twice the size as the ones in Floor 1. By the looks of things, though, we were going to need all the safe zones we could get. Goblins shifted angrily as I made eye contact with them, the monsters evidently straining against whatever Tower mechanic stopped them from attacking first. Goblins stood at the ready, the jagged tips of their spears pointing directly at us. Behind the spearmen were a few lines of more spearmen, then a few rows of goblin warriors brandishing swords, then a few rows of what looked like smaller goblins rushing around, picking up and dropping nuts repeatedly. Goblins, just like the slimes, occupied almost every square foot of the floor that I could see. I signaled for the others to go through the portal first as I inched towards it myself, legions upon legions of gray-green bastards salivating as they shifted their eyes, shoulders and weapons, eagerly tracking my every move.