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Tomfoolery at the apocalypse
an island far from paradise and a place worse than hell

an island far from paradise and a place worse than hell

"It felt as if a truck had run me over at full speed and rammed me into a wall. Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead as I stayed there, immobile. Even if I wanted to move, I simply was unable to anyway. With that, it felt like it would never go away. It was also hard to think, so much so that I couldn't even bother to crawl away. In this instant, I was reduced to easy prey, helpless and hopeless for the time being.

-- [in an unknown place]--

On the ground in an unknown room made of blinding white walls, that's where I laid. Who I was, I could only vaguely remember in this instant. My body felt pure bliss as I laid there. The walls gave off a feeling of warmth that made one not wish to leave the place. Grinning, I temporarily closed my eyes. "If this is what death feels like...then it really isn't that bad," I joked as I took an extended breath before exhaling, feeling refreshed for an instant.

After a while, even though I had my eyes closed, I could feel a shadow looming over me. And even though I was unaware of how, I could feel its presence there too. "Identify yourself in this instant," I said calmly, making my voice come out loud and clear.

"As expected from you...truly a fitting reply," the voice replied with a small laugh. "So you're simply going to ignore my question?" Slightly annoyed, I frowned and looked at the voice's owner. As far as I could tell, he was a guy. Aside from that, it was hard to discern anything else as an aura of mystery surrounded him. He had on a long hood that covered his body and most of his face, and the little bit of his face that was shown revealed a sharp, muscular jaw and perfect teeth that smiled teasingly. "An extrovert, I presume," I noted mentally as I sat up.

"You! I like you, let's make a contract." The man shouted as he held out his hand for what I assumed to be a handshake.

"Huh?...state your purpose," confused and annoyed, I decided to be direct before chasing the weirdo away. "Who are you, and what do you want from me?"

"As to who I am.... you're not qualified to know yet, and what I want from you is simple. Stop this planet from being destroyed and help me fix it!"

'What kind of bullshit is this man spitting? Besides, even if he wanted help...' Sighing, I raised my hand to stop him from talking even further. "Dude, I'm d-"

"Dead?" His voice stopped before I could even finish my sentence. I grimaced as his smile seemed to be even more dazzling in that instant. "You're not dead yet actually, but if you want to, I could easily let you die," the man whispered in a secretive tone as he crossed his arms.

"Eeeeh?" I was dumbfounded. Was this not the afterlife? Where was I then? And how did I get there in that case?

"Oho! You're confused.... I get it now, so sit tight." The man's smile humbled down as he sat before me. "I'll explain briefly. You like that, right?"

"Go straight to the point!" I barked, feeling as if he was teasing me. Could this man be a creep of sorts?

"Well, you were indeed about to die, but I extended your lifespan just enough and brought your soul to this place. Currently, your body is in the hospital... poor doctors are doing their best to save you, but recovering from such a grave injury even in this day and age is quite hard, you know?" The man did exactly as I wished, dumping all the information needed at once.

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Stroking my short hair, I began thinking seriously. "Yes, it seems like what he is saying is right. I'm not able to come up with any better hypothesis anyway for the time being, so let's believe him for the time being."

"According to his words, I am at death's door in this instant, but still alive nonetheless, and the fact that he could pull out my soul or whatever means that he has to be more than just a human." Closing my eyes for an instant, I began sorting all the information within my brain. After digesting it all, I sighed and accepted it for the time being.

"What can I do then?... oh wait, he spoke about something earlier." Getting an idea, I snapped my finger and looked at the man. "You said you had a deal for me, right?"

As if he was waiting for this moment, the man once again reached out his hand as he lowered his head, obscuring his smile. "You... accept my powers and save the world, that's all I ask. As for the reward, I'll grant you whatever I can once you finish your task."

"This sounds like such a typical RPG plot... fine, I'm on." While rolling my eyes, I lightly slapped the man's hand. "As for my reward, just make your world a place more worth living for someone like me." With a sly smile, I then got up and stretched.

"To think that you'd still be so arrogant... besides, if only you had been a bit more patient and waited one more month, your wish would've become a reality on its own." The man shook his head as if to poke fun at me as he also stood up. After that, he brought out a paintbrush and began writing in the air.

Mesmerized by the floating ink, I subconsciously approached it and asked, "What is this?"

"These are called runes, but that is all I can tell you about them. The rest you will find out by yourself." He paused and looked at me. "I will send you some instructions mentally, so prepare as well as you wait, okay? Your body will remain in a coma until you get strong enough, or at least until you're fully healed up. With all that being said..." With one final and long diagonal stroke, the mysterious characters embedded themselves onto my body.

"Hopefully, you manage the transformation. I will be expecting great things from you, my little traveler."

With those words, I felt my body become heavy and limp as I fell over. I had lost all control over it as I felt something wrap around my soul. How could I tell that it was my soul? I did not know. All I could tell was that this was truly an uncomfortable experience.

In my final moments, I saw the hooded figure's smile one last time. I couldn't help but inwardly cuss as from that day onwards, all I knew was pure darkness accompanied by little dots. How many seconds passed there? Too many to count. I had given up way too soon to know anyway.

In this empty space, it was just me and those multicolored orbs. I felt no hunger, no fatigue, just fear, endless boredom, and an ever-increasing will to vanish from existence...

...

...

"... Fuck me... " It felt like years had already passed in the blink of an eye and yet I was still here, just me and the orbs.

I could make the orbs fly around or enter my body. Sometimes, I was capable of merging them, but that was about it.

Simply pulling a few orbs towards me at the same time made me feel an endless amount of stress.

This was truly worse than hell because, at least in hell, there would be demons to keep you company and flames to keep your soul warm alongside your fellow sinners.

This was scarier and much more cruel.

This was a void, one that sucked away one's hopes, dreams, and sanity...

--[Back on the island]--

On the west shore lay a man who wore a straitjacket.

His straight dark hair with red streaks was a total mess, and his face looked pale.

"Hungryyyyy."

I complained as I finally managed to roll over.

Using my energy, I was capable of speeding up the healing process, but in return, I could feel endless hunger as my body began lacking in calories and nutrition.

Even then, the patched-up bones did feel slightly stronger than they were before, so I took a mental note of that as I dragged my body towards the sea.

That's when I saw them - fish and such that had washed onto the beach.

My trembling legs carried my body forward before I crashed onto the sand and grabbed onto a starfish, which I voraciously a bit down on. The thing melted in my mouth almost instantly, as the meat was barely managing to keep itself together. The salty and bitter taste made me want to puke it out almost instantly as my stomach begged for me to swallow it. With tears welling up in my eyes, I closed them and gulped down the mouthful of raw starfish.

Never before had I regretted my life more than this. Or was it after I ate the starfish and moved onto the raw fish? Or maybe it was the explosive diarrhea that came after both of those? Well, after that day, I swore not to repeat those same mistakes again.

Raw fish stank.