“Grace!”
Grace startled, nearly dropping the teacup in her hand. She looked up to see Annabelle staring at her in concern. She blinked and shook her head, trying to focus herself.
“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” She asked and Annabelle’s frown deepened.
“Where have you been lately? These last three days it seems like you’ve been colonies away. Did something happen with Sebastian?” Annabelle asked and Grace smiled softly. Anna had grown more comfortable around the man, enough to even call him by his given name. She had seen the secret smile on Sebastian’s face as well whenever Anna said it. Then her sister’s words registered with her and she blushed softly as memories of the last few nights suddenly played through her mind. Sebastian was an adamant lover and spent every night holding her until they both fell asleep...but...Grace looked up and realized that Anna was waiting for some sort of response from her.
“No...Not exactly…” Grace whispered followed by a soft sigh. Anna sat down her own teacup and moved to sit beside Grace. The girl made Grace put down her cup and took both her hands in hers. She smiled as she looked at her hands under Anna’s, they were almost the same size now.
“Tell me what happened. I don’t like to see you like this. I’m the only one allowed to be gloomy right now.” Anna tried to tease, but the hurt was still faintly there in her voice. Grace felt her heart soften as she reached up and stroked the top of Anna’s head.
“Oh Anna. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”
“None of that.” Anna cut her off, swatting her hand away. She gave Grace a ‘stern’ look that had her fight back a giggle.
“Grace. I’m your sister, if you can’t talk to me, who else is there?” Anna said and gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. Maybe it would be better if she talked it out with someone else instead of running in circles within her own mind. She sighed and nodded, then began to tell her sister what was on her mind. Although both their cheeks were burning as Grace spoke of how she had finally become Sebastian’s wife in every sense, she still managed to get her worries out. By the end of it Anna was staring at her confused.
“Well, now I know what you’ve been puzzling over, but I don’t quite understand what has you looking so down. If you heard him correctly and he said he loves you-”
“I don’t think he was talking about me.” Grace interrupted, speaking aloud the real issue that had been plaguing her. Anna frowned in confusion and Grace had to elaborate her thoughts.
“He said more than those words. He also said ‘don’t leave me again’? He can’t be talking about me.”
“Yeah that is an odd thing to say, but maybe he was referring to the time we were kidnapped?” Anna tried to offer helpfully, but Grace shook her head again.
“I thought about that, but the way he said it doesn’t match. He sounded strange, almost desperate when he said it. It was like he was thinking about something that happened before…before we met.” Grace looked down at their hands and tightened her fingers around Anna’s.
“I can’t help feeling that he’s hiding something from me...Since that night, not once has he said any more to me about love, so I don’t think he’s aware that he did. It seemed like he was speaking in the throes of sleep. What if...What if he was thinking of someone else?” She whispered and had to fight against the stinging in her chest.
“Grace...The only reason that thought would affect you so much is if…” Anna trailed off, but Grace knew what words were hanging between them and tears slowly filled her eyes.
“Yes...I’ve fallen in love with my husband...and-and I think he already belongs to another.” Grace bit her lip to keep the tears back and Anna hugged her suddenly.
“Grace, I don’t believe it’s as you think. I’m going to throw some of your own advice at you. You are letting your fear of rejection rule your thoughts. I think the best course is for you to ask Sebastian.” Anna said while holding her sister’s shoulders and smiling encouragingly at her. Grace found herself smiling back and reached up to brush at Anna’s hair.
“So you were actually listening when I lectured you?” She teased and Anna laughed.
“Only when the advice worked in my favor.” At that they both laughed and Grace found herself feeling better. Having spoken the words seemed to free the heavy pressure that had been piling up. She hoped that her fears were unfounded and that if she spoke with Sebastian, he would finally open up to her. If they could have complete honesty between them, then she would feel safe revealing how deeply she cared for him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I thought the point of coming to the country was to get away from social gatherings.” Sebastian grumbled and the ladies giggled at his annoyed look. Grace wrapped her arm through his and hugged his side. His eye widened slightly, but a smile instantly lit his face.
“We know that you hate this, but thank you for still accompanying us. Even if the invitation was for me.” Grace said and he snorted softly.
“If I sent you to the wolves alone I wouldn’t be able to get any work done anyways. I don’t know how those vultures got word that I was in the area so quickly.” He growled and she smiled.
“Don’t fear brother. You will not be the only dressed up turkey being served tonight. Just be thankful that you have a wife to shield you from the meddling mamas that are sure to be prowling tonight.” Liam joked as he relaxed back in his seat. He had decided to join them as they went to a country ball thrown by Sebastian’s neighbor, the Duchess Evenwood. She was using tonight to introduce her eldest daughter to society and had wanted to make introductions to Grace as well. Grace knew that many in attendance may be visiting from London and she worried for Annabelle so she was grateful that Liam had come along to play champion.
“I think the best thing for all of us is to make quick introductions and then to quietly enjoy ourselves.” She said and Sebastian sighed, tilting his head back.
“I doubt we will find a quiet moment for even a second while we are there.”
Grace noticed his eye move to meet hers and a slight grin lifted his lips as he leaned closer to her ear.
“Unless my wife begs me to steal her away to a dark corner.” He purred and she immediately felt her cheeks flush and heat spread through her stomach at the sinful temptation.
“No flirting while in mixed company.” Liam teased and gently kicked Sebastian’s shin. Sebastian seemed unfazed as he kissed Grace’s cheek and shot his brother a challenging look.
“I’d like to see you stop me.”
Grace noticed Anna giving her a knowing look and the two shared a silent conversation through their eyes.
‘Tell me again this man doesn’t adore you?’
‘Adoration and love are two different feelings.’
‘Give it time, it doesn’t take much for one to transform to the other.’
The carriage began to slow as it entered the line to the large country estate. Grace felt a small wave of nerves settle in her chest as she wondered how these people would treat them. London hadn’t been very accepting of Sebastian, but surely these people would be different. They had known Sebastian’s family for years, so they must have known him as a child.
Her nerves grew as they began to enter the house, being guided to the ballroom by a line of staff. When they entered the ballroom it wasn’t nearly as crowded as she had worried and seemed to have a more intimate air about it. She took a subtle breath to try to calm down and held her head high as she glanced up at her husband. She realized that she didn’t have to pretend or put on a mask anymore the way she did before. She truly loved this man...but there was a part of him that he was withholding and she hoped it wasn’t something that would break her heart in the end.
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“Northridge! My how you’ve grown into a strapping man.” A deep voice called to them and Sebastian turned to face the portly man making his way to them. Sebastian inclined his head.
“Lord Evenwood, it is a pleasure to see you again and I apologize that I didn’t make the rounds when I returned.” He said, but the man waved his hand in dismissal.
“Nonsense. You were grieving for the loss of your brother so it is perfectly understandable. Besides-” His green eyes moved over to Grace and his grey mustache lifted up with his smile.
“From what I’ve heard, you were anxious to go after the woman who had stolen your heart.” He said and Sebastian smiled proudly down at her, making her heart yearn for it to be true and not just the fabricated lie they had created.
“Yes. I was fortunate to find her as I did. Lord Evenwood, allow me to formally introduce my wife, Lady Grace Blackwood.” Lord Evenwood bowed over her hand and gave her a warm smile.
“Welcome my dear. I’m sure my wife will be hunting you both out soon as she was biting at the bits to meet you. Be warned that she can be a tad rambunctious, but she means no harm I swear. Well enjoy the evenings, I personally plan to hide away in the card room before the woman ropes me into a conversation with the Dowager Duchess.” He said, referring to his mother-in-law. Grace had to bite back a laugh, but couldn’t fully suppress her giggles. The elderly man waved as he moved off and Liam chuckled as he moved to her other side.
“He sure hasn’t changed.” He said and Sebastian shrugged as he placed his hand on Grace’s waist and began to move them along the edge of the dancefloor.
“I’m grateful that he hasn’t. He and his wife were always kind-hearted and didn’t treat us like nuisances. Of all our neighbors, the Lord and Lady Evenwood were the only ones who sincerely grieved our brother.” It wasn’t long before Lady Evenwood did in fact hunt them down. She talked fast and animatedly so it was hard for Grace to keep up with her, but she was grateful to see people genuinely smiled at her husband. She was also happy to see that Sebastian was much more at ease than he had been in London as he spoke with the woman. Her daughter, Angelica was also a lovely thing, a tall willowy girl that seemed quiet compared to her mother’s loud personality, but she wasn’t cowering either. Sebastian did the proper thing and offered his hand for the next dance for Miss Angelica. The attention of Lord Blackwood, another prominent title in the area, would help attract other gentlemen and Lady Evenwood seemed delighted.
“Grace, would you take me for a partner while Sebastian does his duty?” Liam asked and Grace smiled, but shook her head.
“I do not mind sitting out one set, I will be quite alright by myself…” She leaned closer and whispered into his ear,
“Besides, I would be more grateful if you kept Annabelle company while we’re here. I don’t want her thinking unnecessary thoughts. She’s been doing so well and…”
“Say no more dear Grace. Leave it to me as I am a master at raising women’s spirits.” He said and Grace tapped him on the arm with her fan while laughing.
“Why is it that when you say it so, it sounds less innocent?”
“Because my brother’s cynicism is rubbing off on you.” He teased and kissed her hand before going back to Annabelle who was staring at the couples solemnly. Her eyes brightened slightly when Liam came over and Grace breathed a sigh of relief. She decided to take this chance to go to the refreshments to get a flute of wine while she waited for Sebastian to return to her. She took her drink and looked back at the dancing couples. She saw Liam and Annabelle, both smiling brightly. Then her eyes moved until she saw Sebastian, so easy to pick out among the others. It wasn’t just his tall frame or signature braid either, there was an instinctive pull that could lead her to him even in the most crowded ballroom. She sighed as her eyes lowered while her thoughts raced once more.
‘What had those words meant? It has been nearly a fortnight and yet I still can’t find the answer I need.’ She couldn’t find the right way to breach the subject with him, not wanting to damage their relationship that was still so new. She felt a strange shiver run along her back and turned to find a man had moved to stand near her, his eyes also on the dancefloor. He glanced down at her and smiled. He was quite handsome with dark brown hair that he had tied in a small knot at the back of his head. His blue eyes warmed at the sight of her, but for some reason she felt her body tense in warning.
“Good evening. Forgive me if I startled you. I was unable to pull the Duchess away long enough to make introductions, but I wished to meet you. You are Sebastian Blackwood’s wife and it is very important that I meet you.” He said smoothly as he bowed formally, his gloved hand held out for hers. She briefly offered him her fingers before snatching them back, still unsure of him. His tone was soft and gentle as he smiled down at her, but some part of her brain was warning her to keep a distance. She swallowed nervously and frowned up at the man.
“You are acquainted with my husband Mr.-”
“Malcolm. Yes, Sebastian and I are close friends.” He said and she wondered at the way he said that word, almost as if he was forcing himself. He grew silent for a moment as he seemed to be scrutinizing her now and she felt another shiver race through her as her body screamed for her to run. She started to take a step back,
“Well it was lovely meeting you, but I really should-”
“Just a moment. I’m afraid I would hate for you to run off just yet. I was hoping that you could answer a question for me.” He said, moving so he blocked her view of the dancefloor and Sebastian.
“It’s a simple question my dear. I’m looking for someone that your husband was close with...a mutual friend if you will. Her name is Evaline and I remember that she was rather attached to Sebastian. I was hoping that she had returned with him and that I would be able to see her again.” He said and Grace’s eyes widened in surprise.
“E-Evaline...and she was...close to Sebastian?” She whispered as a horrible thought occurred to her, but she desperately tried to deny it. Unfortunately, his next words made it all the harder to fight her fears.
“I believe most would tell you that it seemed like a love match...both were rather fond of the other and I thought for sure he had stol-ehem, taken her with him to be married. I was rather surprised to discover that the woman he had married was a complete stranger that had no connection to the man.”
Grace felt as if her heart had frozen over as so many more possibilities began to form inside her mind and none of them were the answer she wanted. She lowered her head and fought the tears that suddenly clouded her vision.
“Are you feeling alright? Forgive me for suddenly approaching you with all this it was improper.” Malcolm apologized, but Grace shook her head and forced herself to give him a small smile.
“Don’t be sir. I’m… I’m glad I could speak with you. I only wish I could answer your question but….but I have never heard of this woman that you speak of...If you’ll excuse me I must return to my family.”
“Of course, I must take my leave as well. Hopefully the next time we meet we’ll have more time to talk. Thank you and do give my regards to that captain of yours.” He said, bowing to her, but she was already making her way back to the others. She saw Liam first as he was introducing Annabelle to several gentlemen and encouraging her to accept an invitation to dance and waving her off as she went to the dancefloor unsteadily.
“Excuse me...Liam I need to speak with you. Please.” Grace had whispered the last part so only Liam could hear the desperation in her voice. He frowned for a second, looking around for Sebastian who was with Miss Angelica, setting her up with her next partner. He looked down at her and the look in her eyes must have convinced him that it couldn’t wait so he took her hand and lead her to the floor with the other couples. Once they were set in motion he spoke softly to her.
“What is it Grace, why do you seem so upset all of a sudden?”
“Liam I-I…” She sighed, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves so she could ask what she needed.
“Liam, I’m going to ask you something and I need you to promise me that you’ll be honest.” She said and noticed how Liam’s eyes immediately turned fearful and began to dart around, probably in search of his brother once more. He swallowed and tentatively nodded, giving her permission to ask.
“I know this may also be difficult for you, but I need you to keep what I ask you a secret from Sebastian.”
“What? Grace what are you-”
“Has your brother ever mentioned being in love with someone?” She asked suddenly, cutting him off and putting more force into getting the words out, feeling them cut as she spoke them. Liam’s mouth snapped shut and Grace watched as his eyes turned even more cautious, freezing her heart in fear of what his answer was. He swallowed nervously again and glanced over with a worried look on his face. She waited for him to answer her, feeling her nerves and fear mount with each passing moment. She gave his arm a slight squeeze, bringing his eyes back to her.
“Please Liam...I understand that what I’m doing is unfair to you, but I can’t ask anyone else. Aiden is too loyal to Sebastian and no one else knows him as well as you...I just...I just need to understand some things about him before I…” She stopped herself from saying, “Before I tell him I love him.” Instead, letting her words trail off and hoping that he wouldn’t push her for more. Liam sighed heavily,
“Listen to me Grace...I have also sworn to keep certain things quiet until Sebastian is ready to speak of them…” He began and she felt her heart begin to hammer as she anticipated what he was going to say.
“I really wish I could say more...the two of you need to be honest with each other or this web will only become more tangled…” His eyes sharpened with a sudden strong determination as the hand holding hers tightened.
“What I can tell you Grace is that I have only ever heard my brother speak of one woman my entire life. You-I mean...damn this is difficult without saying everything...He-He has never been able to forget this woman or what she means to him…If you truly want to know who is in his heart then you need to ask him yourself.” He said, his eyes imploring her to understand and deep in her heart she did. That one woman who has remained in his heart, even after all this time. The one he can’t forget no matter where he goes or who he holds. It seems that there was only room for one in Sebastian’s heart. One who must have left him in some way and left such a deep scar that he calls for them...
‘I love you so much. Please, don’t leave me again.’’
Someone that Grace was just a substitute for in the end...and that was the final thought that broke her.