Something was definitely wrong. Sebastian sighed and crossed his arms as he stared out the window at the people below. Liam was with the girls in the garden, telling them stories that were clearly amusing them. He felt a stab of jealousy deep in his chest as he saw Grace smile brightly at someone other than him. He didn’t understand how things could turn so drastically and without warning. It was like the ocean suddenly raging without the wind changing. Grace had withdrawn from him again…

The two of them had just began to grow close when all of a sudden she seemed to be trying to put distance between them. At first he thought he was imagining things, but the ways she tried to avoid being alone with him became more prominent. She had turned so cold that it hurt worse than when she first rejected him. At least then he hadn’t known how warm she was to embrace.

His fingers dug into his arms as the storm inside him raged. Since she withdrew from him, he had not been going to her at night. Forced to once more sleep alone, knowing that she was so close and he was unable to touch her was putting him in a foul mood. Sebastian was trying to be patient, but his desperation to be near her was making him go crazy all over again. His chest felt cold and empty without her, like someone had stolen all the warmth from his life. It hurt deeply to see the hesitation in her eyes when he drew near her. She didn’t seek him out as she had before, almost as if she were only tolerating his touch. Just when he had begun to hope that she was growing to love him…He sighed and forced himself to turn away from the happy view below as it would only make him feel more miserable. He looked over to see Aiden watching him worriedly and he tried to school his features.

“You didn’t hear anything I just said did you.” Aiden sighed, it not being a question but a statement they both knew was true. Sebastian silently took his seat at the desk again and made an attempt to look over the reports he had to finish by tonight. They were suddenly taken out of his hand and he started as Aiden stood up with them.

“Enough...I can’t stand to see you like this. Others may not notice, but I do. Go for a ride Cap’ and clear your thoughts before we try again. While you're gone I’ll go inquire on that other matter.” Aiden said and Sebastian saw some sense in what the man was suggesting. He was next to useless when his mind was occupied with other matters that were far more important to him. He glanced over at the window and decided that maybe some physical distance would help clear his mind enough to solve his problems...and he was not referring to the ones about the price of wheat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The wind whipping through his hair reminded him so much of the sea that he spurred his mount faster, wanting to feel the comforting sting of the crisp breeze on his cheeks. He was riding back towards the manor, running along the lake’s edge. It was only an imitation of racing over the waves of the ocean that he loved so much, but it still managed to lift his spirits out of the dark depths they had plummeted to earlier. When he spotted the old tree drawing closer, he finally allowed the stallion to slow and gets its wind back. He stopped and dismounted, leading the tired boy to the edge for a well-deserved drink of water.

He patted the horse’s side as he looked out over the calm surface, sparkling like glass in the afternoon sun. He sighed and lowered himself to the ground, resting his arms on his bent knees.

“They won’t miss me if I stay here to think for a few minutes right?” He asked and his horse snorted in response, taking this chance to graze while his master began to brood. Sebastian looked up at the tree that loomed next to him. He really should think about having it removed. It was starting to die and the broken limb seemed to be laughing at the man below it as if reminding him that...He reached up and brushed the patch over his eye. Sighing he fell back and put his hands behind his head, allowing his eye to slide close and have the sun warm his body. It had been so long since he had such a peaceful moment that it seemed unnatural to just lay there without worrying about someone coming upon him.

At worst, Liam or Aiden would seek him out and drag him back. Best case was Grace...His eye slid open again, squinting against the light as his mind returned to the turmoil he had been racing away from. Not that he could completely run away this time. Where had he misstepped? Maybe if he thought hard enough he could figure out exactly when she had begun to revert to how she was when they were first reunited. He knew it was around the time they went to the Evenwoods’ estate, but that was all. When he asked Liam if she had seemed strange after, the man had glared back and held up his hands.

“No! No more middle man. You want answers ask yourself!”

It was just as confusing as his wife’s actions. He sighed and frowned, if it were so easy for him to breach the topic he wouldn’t be alone right now. He closed his eye again and remembered the last time he had held her in his arms, it had been when they returned from the ball. She had looked up at him with such an open expression that he had felt his heart melt all over. After their love making, she had lifted up on her elbow and opened her mouth to say something, but had stopped herself. He remembered the way her eyes clouded and the instant she became closed off. His heart had broken a little when she gave him the smile she gave society-polite and cold-before rolling over and whispering goodnight. He should have insisted she tell him what was wrong-he should have demanded every night since that first one that she talk to him.

Sebastian chuckled darkly, didn’t that make him the biggest hypocrite to reside at this residence. Here he was demanding that she talk to him about was on her mind when he was keeping so much from her and creating just as many problems between them. Damn Liam for making sense, but it was time he talked to his wife directly instead of relying on others for information. If he couldn’t get her to trust in him then there wasn’t a path for their future to take. The first thing he needed was to get her alone and coax her into revealing what had started this retreat. He got to his feet and brushed off his legs, knowing that even with the black his valet would be irritated to see the grass spots. He slowly looked over at the old tree and walked over to lay his hand on the rough bark.

“I have to find a way to remove all barriers between us.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grace sat with her back straight and smiled as Liam spoke, even though she couldn’t hear anything he was saying. She was wishing she had feigned a headache and hidden in her chambers. It was growing harder to contain her emotions when she was so close to the cause of the storm inside her. Sebastian was silently eating along with the others, only commenting when spoken to directly. She had to applaud Liam and his efforts, he was working so hard to keep the conversation going so they weren’t engulfed in suffocating silence.

Even so, there was an underlying tension coming from the two that remained impassive. She had felt his eye on her throughout the meal, but he had made no motion to speak to her. He hadn’t even reached for her hand as he used to...Of course that could be the result of her pulling her hand away when he tried, not wanting his touch to numb her judgment. Her eyes lowered as her heart sank. His sudden cold attitude was her own fault. Of course he wouldn’t understand why she was behaving differently without a ‘reason’.

She had seen the familiar look in his eye when she made an excuse to escape him as she used to. He was hurt. It was unfair, but her heart wasn’t able to accept anything less than his and she feared that part of it would never be reachable. It was even worse now that she also had to debate telling him about her paranoid sighting. She wasn’t completely sure that what she had seen was real, or if it was important enough to broach the subject with him. It was more likely her own imagination tricking her in an attempt to distract from her other problems.

She startled when Sebastian suddenly stood up and was glad that she wasn’t the only one. Liam and Annabelle were staring wide-eyed so he hadn’t said anything while she was stuck in her own worries. She was more shocked when his gaze turned down to her and the determined look shining in his grey iris. It only lasted for a moment though before it returned to the closed off shadow and he turned away.

“Forgive me, but I need to return to my work. Goodnight everyone.” He said and left the room without looking back. Grace stared at the entry her heart calling after the man, hoping that he would hear it. She felt her own desperation for him come forward as she set down her own fork and made to stand. The footman came forward and pulled back her chair for her. She looked over at the other two and stuttered,

“I’m sorry I-I...I need to-”

“You don’t have to explain. Go after him.” Annabelle said softly and Liam smiled encouragingly as well. She nodded and rushed from the dining room, heading for his study. She made it before the closed door and took a deep breath to calm her raging nerves. The room was silent and cold. Confused she looked around to find it was empty, Sebastian wasn’t inside. Frowning she went back out into the hallway and went to his chambers, but she found it empty as well.

“Looking for something milady?” She turned to find Aiden watching her with a knowing twinkle in his blue eyes. He smiled softly and pointed behind him.

“He’s gone to hide in the smaller library. He specifically told me to make sure no one knew where he was.”

“Then why are you telling me? I thought you were only loyal to Sebastian?” She asked and he chuckled, winking at her.

“I am. That’s exactly why. I pride myself on knowing what’s best for my captain, even when he doesn’t.”

It took her awhile to find where Aiden had said since she was still learning the layout of this manor. She saw the glow under the door though and knew she had finally found him. Feeling her heart dance inside her chest and her fingers tremble she reached for the latch and quietly opened the door.

“I’m going to tan Aiden’s hide tomorrow…” Sebastian growled as she came into the room, watching her from the chair he sat while drinking an amber liquid. She took another deep breath and lifted her chin, moving closer. His eye narrowed slightly and she could see the tension spread over him once more.

“You can’t blame Aiden, I would have found you eventually...Even if it took me longer without his help.” She said and was glad when he chuckled, his lips twitching.

“Why were you so determined to find me?” He asked and she saw the flicker of hope in his eye and felt her heart answer back. Seeing him looking at her and the fire growing in his gaze brought the air back to her lungs, the beat to her heart and the warmth in her blood. When she believed that he loved her, even a little it made her feel alive. An idea unexpectedly came to mind. Making a quick decision that she would move forward accordingly depending on the result, Grace moved closer until she was standing directly before him. Sebastian hadn’t moved, but the way he was looking at her let her know that he was hesitant, but desperate for her as well.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

Knowing that the next few moments would answer the question plaguing her heart made her body shiver with nerves, but the familiar excitement of his proximity allowed her to continue. She leaned forward, cupped his face and kissed him. He didn’t respond right away, allowing her to control the pace, but she felt the tension leave his body slowly. When she pulled back his eye was blazing, but his confusion was clear as he looked at her desperately.

“I’m sorry…” She whispered, having to clear her dry throat before she could continue.

“I’m sorry for...for not coming to you sooner…” She had to stop again as the words were difficult to find and his searing gaze was not making it easier for her to properly explain. So instead she pressed her lips to his again, hoping that he would understand, even a little. This time he didn’t sit pliantly, his arms reaching up to draw her down onto his lap. He took over the kiss, hugging her tightly while his tongue slipped inside her mouth and stroked her with a frenzied passion.

Grace had to fight against the fog trying to seep into her mind, needing to focus on what she wanted to accomplish. Her hands went behind his head, her fingers digging into his hair as she loved to do when he held her. He groaned against her mouth and it sent a delicious heat to her core, her body begging for what she had denied it. But first...Her fingers moved delicately, trying not to alert him to what she was thinking. However the minute they nudged the buckle that held the patch in place Sebastian reeled back, catching her wrist.

Grace froze in fear as his brows drew down and his eye narrowed at her. He was breathing heavily as he pulled her hand from behind his head and held it between them, watching her suspiciously.

“Grace?” He whispered and she hated hearing the accusing tone in his voice, underlined with hurt once more as he realized she had tried to trick him. Well...it had been for a reason, but that didn’t change the facts. She sighed and lowered her head, hiding her eyes as tears began to form as strong emotions began to flow so fiercely that they made her throat tighten. She felt her instincts to escape escalate and tried to get off his lap.

“Wait.” Sebastian rasped, surprising her by hugging her close to him again. His arms tightened around her and his face was pressed to her shoulder.

“Don’t. Grace, don’t run from me...please love...talk to me. Help me understand...Why are you doing these things?” He said, pulling back so she could see his face and the pain he was feeling at her confusing actions. Her heart ached as she was faced with how he was being affected by her. His hands came up and gently held her so that she couldn’t turn away again.

“Grace...Whatever is troubling you, I want to know. I want to protect you, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“Why won’t you let me see it?”

“W-What?” He frowned confused and she reached up, her fingers lightly grazing the leather over his eye.

“Why are you hiding a part of yourself from me? When you do...it makes me worry that I can never reached all of you and that there will always be a piece that will never be mine.” She whispered. In a vague way that he wouldn’t understand, she was finally expressing her fear that he loved another outloud. He seemed shocked by her words as his mouth parted, but she placed her fingertips against his lips so she could say more. It was time she not let her fears dictate how her life went. She had always prided herself on being strong and able to challenge the obstacles in her way head-on. So as she stared into his beautiful face, she drew on that strength, taking the ultimate risk and opened her heart.

“Sebastian...When we first met I thought it would be impossible that we could be happy together. You had forced me into this marriage and I was convinced that you were a cold man who could never inspire such feelings inside me…

“But I was wrong. You proved many times that what I saw and what was the truth were complete opposites. I have discovered what a capable and good man you are in the way you have treated me and my family. As I put aside my anger and continued to learn more about you I realized that it wasn’t so impossible. I realized that what I felt...that it was more than mere admiration for the real man you are. It was so much deeper…” She placed her hand over his heart, feeling it pounding under her touch and it made her smile.

“When I began to understand the new emotions in my heart I grew scared. I was afraid that you didn’t see things the same way. Whenever I feel that you are hiding something from me I begin to speculate on what it could be and my heart hurts. I’ve never wanted something so badly that it would make my chest ache this way. So even if it’s something as small as this…I want to know that I am special to you. Enough that you can trust me with all of you.” Again she reached up to stroke his left eye. His hand wrapped around her wrist again, but not as tightly as it had before. He pulled her hand back and kissed her knuckles, his eye hooded as he avoided hers.

“It’s not something small...Grace...You can’t imagine how happy I am to hear your words and I want to give you what you want...It’s just…” He let go of her hand to reach up and gently touch the place she just had.

“This simple piece of leather has been like a shield for me. You're right in that I use it to hide, but I’ve grown to depend on the freedom it gives me...Giving that freedom up is-”

“I know.” She interrupted him and placed her hand over his and his eye met hers again, watching as she leaned forward and softly kissed the patch.

“I know that you have been taught to hate this part of you. That’s why I want to be the one to bring you from that dark place. If it is a part of your past then I want to know about it, I want to know all there is that makes up Sebastian Blackwood. I have finally accepted what I want from this marriage and I won’t run anymore...so I don’t want you to either.” She pulled his hand away and slid her hands behind his head once more, making her intentions clear. Sebastian stiffened and trembled slightly as her fingers reached the buckle once more. She looked down at him, wondering if she should be pushing him this far. He must have read her hesitation and took a deep breath.

“It’s alright...It’s alright if it’s you Grace.” He said and she swallowed as she pulled the strap loose and the eye-patch shifted under her fingers. Holding each side, she slowly pulled it away from his face and revealed all of him to her. His eyes were scrunched shut so the first thing she took in were the scars. She had believed it was just the one that ran from his hairline, but alongside that one there were two beside his eye. All the scars were deep and the tissue was a dark contrast to his white skin, making it appear burned. The one she had always been able to see part of continued to run down the center of his left eye, stopping just below it.

Grace set the patch on the table beside them, next to his half-finished drink. Then she gently traced the scars with her finger, making sure that her touch wasn’t hesitant so he wouldn’t misunderstand it for revulsion. His right eye opened at her menstruation, but he stubbornly kept his left closed. Grace suddenly saw the young boy that had been mistreated by his parents. Twisted until he honestly believed that such a small flaw was unforgivable. Her heart melted all over again as she remembered the bitterness in his voice in the garden when he had told her about them and their attitude towards him. She placed a loving kiss against his closed eyelid and whispered,

“No matter what it looks like it won’t change how I see you.” He groaned at her words and she saw how hard it was for him to open up to her. This was the sign she needed and it eased away her fears that had wrapped around her heart, the thorns releasing their hold on her. Just the fact that he was willing to expose his vulnerable side to her and chance her hurting him further meant that she was important to him. Even if she had to fight for the rest of their lives, she would find a way to capture all of his heart. Finally his injured eye began to open and she held her breath as he looked up at her for the first time with both eyes.

The left eye wasn’t the same vibrant grey that his right was. Its color was duller and muted like murky water, the pupil unchanging while the other dilated. Even so, she had never seen a more perfect man. She smiled as a few stray tears slipped from her eyes, suddenly unable to hold back her emotions. The back of his fingers brushed away the water drops and she leaned towards the touch. That small action seemed to calm him as he stared up at her in awe. Her finger outlined the eye and she whispered,

“Can you see from it?”

“Not as well...It’s fogged and shapes are harder to make out when I try to use it. It is practically blind so I learned not to rely on it at all. The patch proved useful in teaching me not to rely on sight alone.” His voice was strained and raspy as he quickly answered her. She saw the fear barely visible in his eyes and sighed happily. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her forehead to his, gazing deeply into his eyes as more tears spilled from hers. He had exposed his weakness to her, opening himself to the possibility of rejection...and it was her turn to do the same for him. She closed her eyes and in the softest breath whispered,

“Just as I thought...It hasn’t changed anything...I still love you.” She heard his gasp as his hands grabbed her arms and pushed her back so he could see her clearly.

“Wh-Grace...Say it again...Please.” He begged and she smiled, placing her hands on his chest and subtly tugging him towards her.

“I said that I love you Sebastian Blackwood. It took me time but I-mmh.” He cut off her words as his lips took possession of hers and his desire burned away the chance for more to be said. His strong, determined hands grabbed her hips and shifted her body so she was straddling his lap, making her gasp and blush brightly.

“I’m sorry...but with how I feel right now I can’t possible make it to bed. Christ Grace, do you know what you’ve done to me?” He rasped, his lips at her throat, licking and nipping her sensitive skin. She moaned, her fingers digging into his shoulders, holding on as she followed his lead. His hands made their way under her skirts and peeled down her stockings so he could caress her thighs, leaving a trail of fire as his fingers massaged her. The tightening in her stomach grew with intensity as he wasted no time in finding her center and stroking until she was crying out desperately. His teeth grazed her collarbone while his tongue tried to dive under her bodice, but the fabric was too tight. Sebastian growled in frustration and while he continued to build the fire inside her, he reached up and tugged at the barrier.

There was a tearing sound, but instead of frightening her, it excited her more and she felt herself tighten around his fingers, wishing for even more. He was able to expose her breasts, only concealed by her chemise now and hummed as his mouth closed over one bud through the fabric. Grace’s head fell back as her fingers moved to his hair, wanting to hold him there. His fingers left her center and she groaned in frustration, shifting her hips impatiently. He grunted as if in pain and hissed,

“Easy Grace, I’m barely controlling myself.” She was surprised to hear a whine escape her throat as she tugged at his hair, making him chuckle. She realized that he had left her to unfasten his trousers so that his manhood was exposed. She started to reach down for it, but he caught her wrist and kissed the inside of it.

“No. I’m not going to make you wait. I couldn’t even if I tried.” He kissed her deeply and she moaned as he pulled her hips forward. Easing her up and then slowly lowering her back down until she was completely wrapped around him. He kept his grip on her hips, holding her in place as he thrust up into her. She was shivering in pleasure, this new position allowing her to feel him deeper as her own weight helped to push him further. He had returned to her neck, sucking so hard she grit her teeth as a sharp pain laced through the spot, but it was also incredibly pleasurable.

“Sebastian I-ah!” She cried out as he took her hard, robbing all thoughts except reaching that crescendo with the man she loved. His breathing was harsh and his fingers were digging into her sides as she felt him begin to swell inside her. His hand went to the back of her head, pulling her in for a sudden kiss as his tongue wrapped around hers sucking lightly just as he shot inside her, burning her from the inside out. Her voice was swallowed by his mouth as she felt the heat sweep through her, draining all her energy and leaving her with a languid glow. He released her lips and she fell forward until her head was nestled in the crook of his neck, breathing in his sweet scent that began to lull her to sleep.

He sighed deeply, also relaxing against the chair’s cushions as he hugged her tightly to him. They stayed like that in silence, both enjoying the presence of the other. She closed her eyes and listened to the pounding of his heart as it tried to return to its normal beat, knowing hers sounded the same. His fingers combed through her hair, gently pulling at the tangles they had made in their frenzied lovemaking. When he shifted under her, Grace lifted her head to look down at him. He smiled up at her and kissed her gently.

“Now that I don’t feel like I’m going to burst into flames, let’s retire to our chamber my love.” She tried to sled off his lap, but her legs crumbled under her weight and he had to catch her, laughing loudly as he helped her stand. He wrapped his arms around her waist, looking down at her with blazing hunger in his eyes once more. She felt her cheeks heat and wondered if she would ever stop blushing around him?

“I thought you said you wanted to retire?” She asked and his grin widened as he leaned closer to her ear, running his tongue along the curve before answering in a sultry voice.

“Yes. But I said nothing about sleep.”