The soft rhythmic thump of flesh hinting leather was calming. Despite his best efforts Gato only felt calm when he was in motion, and if the motion was violent all the better. This was something he really hated about himself.

He had tried branching out, tried to find other ways to unwind. He tried reading but reading was hard and took a lot of concentration just to read his daily reports, audiobooks were much more enjoyable. The terms ADHD and ADD didn’t really apply to the Mammaloids since those were human conditions, but for all intents and purposes that was how his animal instincts seemed to people. High functioning ADHD

He tied music, but his paws, though more articulated than his non-sapient ancestors, weren’t the right shape for human instruments. And he kept cutting the strings with his claws.

He didn’t have the eyes or creativity for art.

And writing was a hobby for only the truly bored. A hobby that required countless hours and planning for a product that would never be enjoyed by more than a collect few. Besides, what would a man like him write about.

So all that left him with was violence and physical exertion. Lifting, running, swimming, hiking, punching, sparring, and now that Alwen had shown him the steps, dancing.

Alwen. Just the thought of her name drew up memories of soft violet flesh and tender features. He heard the distant recollection of her plaintive moans, and remembered what it felt like to have her at his mercy and begging-

He shook his head and began punching the bag harder and faster.

Goddammit! He was supposed to be putting those kinds of thoughts out of his head. The ship was doing a movie night to ease the tension, which meant Alwen would be sitting with him on the poor sagging excuse they called a couch. He wanted to prove he could be a good boyfriend, that he could be there for her outside the bedroom.

He’d failed that on Pandemonium, losing himself to his work and not doing enough to show her the beauty of the world the Hellworlders had claimed for themselves. She had never said it, but he knew he had let her down then. He wouldn’t fail now.

The movie wasn’t anything special, just the Princess Bride. He didn’t really get much of the appeal, but it had become Alwen’s favorite Terran movie and he wanted to prove that he could handle one night of ‘cuddling’ without any of his more distracting thoughts.

But just the idea of being so close to her for that long was-

The bag burst.

Not just a simple tear, but a full rip that had flung sand halfway across the room.

“Fuck!” Gato growled, the word coming out a lot louder than he had intended.

He stalked off after the broom and dust pan in the corner of the gym. He grabbed the metal handle… and felt the metal give under his grip and the top half of the broom fold over.

“Fuck!” he growled again, and because that wasn’t enough to soothe his frustration he punched the bulkhead.

The sound of warping steel rang throughout the gym, and everyone present gave him a concerned look. He glared at them “what are you looking at!” he snapped “Until any of you have the power to bend bulkhead you don’t have the right to slack off!”

It was harsh, and he never snapped at his men. But right now he didn’t have the patience for their gawking. He was…too pent up. And punching wasn’t doing the trick this time.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

They returned to their workouts, pretending they hadn’t seen anything at all. Some chose to cut their exercises early and went for the showers. He was about to reprimand those people for slacking off when one of the men stepped into his path.

“Oi, are you well?” Limey asked as he blocked Gato. Under Gato’s burning glare he added a belated “Sir.”

“I’m fine.”

“With all due respect, you just left a fist print in our tartan-colored wall. And even with my crappy human nose I can smell the tang of musk on you.”

He wanted to chew him out for insubordination, but that wasn’t what this was. Limey was just expressing his concern. He took a few breaths to try and calm himself, he often heard people say deep breathing had a calming effect, though he had never experienced it. The ritual in itself did help him focus his mind. “Just been unfocused and frustrated.” He said after a minute.

“Is it because of the situation here on Unity?”

Gato snorted “No, I’d be a little happier if it was. Whatever bullshit the Captain and EX-O are dealing with we both know how things are going to end.”

Limey nodded sagely. “With overwhelming violence and wanton destruction.”

“Not a matter of if, only when.” Gato finished.

“Really that just be the ship’s motto at this point. So what’s nagging you?”

He looked around at the people around them, but whether it was intention or coincidence everyone was well out of earshot. “Alwen’s needs to be a sample donor for her new research project.”

Limey’s face went flush. Everyone had to donate samples of their own for that, and something about donating samples of their own ‘fluids’ to people they knew and saw on the daily had embarrassed many of the crew. “Right, the one about Terran-Torweni compatibility.” Limey said with a dry cough.

“Right, well she said she needs to keep her samples… clean, if you know what I mean.”

The confusion on his face showed he didn’t. “What do you mean by clean?”

Gato growled “Do I really need to spell it out?”

Limey frowned, sniffed, and then comprehension dawned on him “Oh,” he blinked “Ohhh”

“Right” Gato said.

Limey frowned again. “Okay, no offense, but can’t you just, you know, donate another sample.” He said as tactfully as he could.

Gato gave him a flat stare.

“Right, not the same.” He said quickly. “But you’ve had dry spells before.”

“Not like this.” Gato said with a little frustration creeping in. “Its like my head is filled with a fog. And when I’m not distracted by, other things, I’m angry. I’ve been trying to work it out, but nothings working.”

“How about a cold shower?” Limey offered.

“Not funny.”

“Not trying to be.” He quipped. He shifted his weight to one foot and tapped the toes of his other foot on the ground. “If its this bad then I might know a few places that might help. Found’em during the plan chaos fiasco.”

“I’m not visiting a brothel.” Gato said flatly.

“Look if this is affecting you that bad then we have to do something. Give me a day and I can get Alwen to go along with it, or to at least reconsider the urgency or her resea-“

“No!” Gato interrupted. “She’s working on something important. And I don’t want to be the boyfriend who can’t go a few days without sex. And I’m not cheating on her, even if you do get her permission.”

He looked thoughtful. “Its never been this bad before though.” He murmured to himself. “I get it Alwen’s hot, bu-“

Before Limey could finish his thought a deep territorial instinct overtook him and he growled at Limey. Not the low human kind, but a proper animalistic one. His arms twitched at his side to lash out “You keep your eyes off her!”

Limey saw the tensing of Gato’s muscles and stepped back raising his hands in placation “Wouldn’t even think about it.” he said defensively.

Gato’s better judgment caught up and he forced himself to relax. He knew right then and there that their conversation was over. “Finish your exercises, and mind your own business.” he snapped before he stalked out of the gym.

Goddammit! Why did he do that? Limey was a friend, an annoying, pushy, and overbearing one. But one who had been at his side for years. Was he that insecure that he couldn’t handle someone mentioning Alwen’s beauty without him snapping?

Insecure, that was one way to describe it. More like terrified. Terrified that one day Alwen would realize that she could do better than a broken and terrible person like him. A man who was only a few short steps from animal. One who was only good at killing.

He knew she was too good for him, she was the kind of women who would make history. A once in a lifetime genius who had mastered several alien physiologies by her mid-twenties. And he was just a meathead who only knew how to kill and push away his friends.

She was… right behind him?

The overpowering allure of her scent, flowery in an alien sort of way, wafted over him as the draft from a vent pushed it his way.

He turned and saw her behind him in the clean set of robes she used for lab work in place of her old scrubs. Her hair pulled just behind her head the way she usually did it while working in the med-bay. Once again his instincts outran his better sense because he began walking forward before he noticed what she was holding.

Aimed at his chest was a handheld taser she used for subduing crewmen avoiding their medical exams or bedrest. The threat of it was usually enough to ensure attendance.

“Wha-“ he began before the three prongs of the taser shot towards his chest.

Had he not been already walking towards her he might have been able to sidestep it.

Had he not been so surprised he might have swiped the prongs out of the air.

But his momentary confusion cost him a precious half second.

His knees buckled under him as he was tazed for the second time that month. And by his girlfriend no less.

He felt a prick in his neck as someone stuck him with a needle.

He tried to push himself up, but his muscles failed him as the quick acting tranquilizer stole his strength.

“Cuff him up before you grab his legs.” He heard Alwen say as the world went black. “You got the titanium cuffs right, Limey thinks something is making him stronger than normal-“

The rest faded away into the background as a soft hum. He couldn’t even feel any betrayal as his mind went blank.