image [https://i.ibb.co/932bTDG/Titi-Chapter18.jpg]
Gonorrena was at first frightened at finding herself captured by the enemy; but soon she decided that she was exactly as safe stuck to the Robotic Emperor's foot as sitting next to the bush. For no one knew the poop and Gonorrena to be one and the same, and now that she was through the gates of Schmegma City her chances of escaping altogether from Nobgoblin were much improved.
“There is no hurry,” thought Gonorrena. “I will wait awhile and enjoy the humiliation of Nobgoblin when she finds I have outwitted her.” When Nobgoblin summoned our friends to a consultation, Cydroidobot unwittingly carried the poop with him to the green flannel wigwam.
“For some reason,” said Nobgoblin, “we have failed to find this cunning old Gonorrena; so I fear our expedition will prove a failure. And for that I am sorry, because without our assistance the Flatulenz Fairy Titiana will never be rescued and restored to her rightful position as tremorroid of Schmegma City.”
“Do not let us give up so easily,” said Nate Goiterhead. “Let us do something else.”
“Something else must really be done,” said Cydroidobot. “Suppose you all return with me to Mukus Quadrant,” the robot politely including the entire party in a royal wave of his arm, “It will give me great pleasure to entertain you in my chateau, where there is room enough to spare, over 14,500 movies on videotape, and several 100 inch TVs.”
“That’s a nice thought, Cy, but I don’t think that’s the right plan,” said Nobgoblin. The thaumaturge sighed. “I cannot understand how I have been defeated so easily by some random dork-butt jerk-face who knows far less of thaumaturgy than I do myself.”
“She is a dork-butt jerk-face,” said Titi, “and terribly old and ugly.”
“Ugly as an excised tumor- no offense, Nate,” said Nobgoblin.
“None taken, I have a goiter head not a tumor head. But you guys are right about Gonorrena, she is hideous and wrinkly and her hair is thinning and she has dandruff.”
“And the smell,” said Titi. “She always smelled like a combination of B.O., queso cheese dip, and urine.”
“As long as we’re dumping on her, she spit when she talked,” said Nate.
“You think that’s bad, you should’ve tried shaving her back. Not easy shaving it without cutting the dozens of warts, zits, and skin tags back there,” said Titi.
“Gonorrena is just an awful, awful person,” said Nobgoblin, who had noticed the poop stuck to Cydroidobot’s foot because it had been twitching more and more as they discussed Gonorrena’s many failings. This aroused Empress Nobgoblin’s suspicions, and in a moment more she had decided that the seeming peacock poop was nothing else than a transmutation of the old schmuckity-muck Gonorrena. At the same instant Gonorrena knew she was discovered and immediately transformed herself from poop to a tiny cacaroach, in which shape she crawled along the ground, seeking a crack or crevice in which to hide her tiny body.
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Nobgoblin, with a wave of her hand, closed the entrance to the wigwam so securely that Gonorrena could not find a crack in the flannel big enough to creep through. Titi and his friends were greatly surprised at Nobgoblin’s actions; for none of them had noted the insect. But the thaumaturge said to them:
“Remain perfectly quiet, all of you! For Gonorrena is even now with us in this wigwam, and I hope to capture her!” The ground where the wigwam had been pitched, being just before the gates, was hard and smooth; and while the roach still crawled about, Nobgoblin discovered it and ran quickly forward to effect its capture. But, just as her hand was descending, Gonorrena, now fairly frantic with fear, made her last transformation, and in the form of a huge paramecium and sprang through the wall of the wigwam- tearing the green flannel asunder in her rush- and in a moment had darted away with the speed of a whirlwind.
Nobgoblin did not hesitate to follow. Nobgoblin flung open the entrance to the wigwam and ran to the Chainsaw Raccoon, springing upon his back.
“Now you shall prove that you have a right to be alive! Move move move move move move!”
The Chainsaw Raccoon ran, his wooden legs moving so fast that they twinkled like the swipes of a glittery machete.
“Come! Let us follow!” cried Titi.
They ran to the place where the Humpster was lying. Titi, Ratsack, Cydroidobot, and Foulfinger quickly tumbled aboard.
“Fly!” commanded Titi, eagerly. “Follow that raccoon!”
“PPPHHHRRRRT-T-T! Replied the Humpty Hump Dumpster, spitting out more moldy sawdust clumps; then it spread its great ironing board wings and mounted high into the air. By the time our friends began flying both the paramecium and the Chainsaw Raccoon had dashed out of sight.
Far away, across the meadows, they could now see two tiny specks, speeding one after the other towards Quirk Quadrant; and they knew these specks must be the paramecium and the raccoon. So Titi called the Humpty Hump Dumpster’s attention to them and bade the creature try to overtake Nobgoblin and Gonorrena. But, swift as was the Humpty Hump Dumpster’s flight, the pursued and pursuer moved more swiftly yet, and within a few moments were blotted out against the dim horizon.
“Let us continue to follow them, nevertheless,” said Ratsack. “for sooner or later they must both come to a halt.”
Old Gonorrena had thought herself very wise to choose the form of a paramecium, for the hovering creatures are especially fleet. They can’t levitate very high but their strength is more enduring than that of other humanoids and yokai and robots. But she had not reckoned on the untiring energy of the Chainsaw Raccoon, whose wooden limbs could run for days without slacking their speed. Therefore, after hours of hard hovering, the paramecium’s breath began to fail, and it panted and gasped painfully, and moved more slowly than before. Then it plummeted and crash landed in a field of corpse flowers.
Nobgoblin came up a moment later, riding the still vigorous Chainsaw Raccoon; and having unwound a slender, moist length of small intestine from her utility belt she threw it around the panting and helpless paramecium, and so destroyed the power of Gonorrena’s transformation.
For the paramecium, with one fierce blobby shudder, morphed into the form of the creepy old incontinent dust-farting wart-encrusted elderly woman, glaring savagely at the serene and beautiful face of Empress Nobgoblin.
Gonorrena farted in defiance.
image [https://i.ibb.co/DzgJbxJ/EU18-225.jpg]