TIME & TIED: AWARENESS

ARC 1.4 - Of Herself

PART 20b: FALLOUT 2

Carrie struggled to speak. “I don’t know,” she finally admitted. “Okay? All I know is that my life was a lot easier to deal with before you two! I've... I’ve had it.”

Her gaze snapped over to Frank. “Time for me go back to the past now, okay? You know why - to fix that event that I wanted to fix in the first place. The week’s up, so I can do that now, right? Testing's done?"

Frank cleared his throat nervously. “One successful test doesn't necessarily mean anything..." Carrie took a step towards him, narrowing her eyes. "...but on the other hand..."

"You stand your ground," Luci interjected on Frank's behalf. "Don't let your actions be dictated by this self-serving egomaniac.”

“You don’t know me,” Carrie protested. “Okay? So STOP telling me what a horrible person I am, because you DON’T KNOW ME!”

“Girls, please,” Frank gasped, “Someone will hear..."

“Shut up, Frank!" both of them chorused. He shut up. Carrie and Luci glowered at each other in silence for a few more moments.

"I think," Luci began coldly, "that it would be best if we all returned to the present before doing anything else.”

"That’s the first thing you've said I agree with," Carrie retorted, equally as icily.

"Yes, that's, er, sort of what I was going to suggest," Frank said, smiling weakly. It did nothing to alleviate the tension in the air.

***

At 9:35 that Sunday night, the park bordering the ravine near Carrie's house had three unanticipated visitors. The shortest collapsed onto the ground almost right away, unconscious.

"Okay, she’s out,” Carrie said. She looked at the digital readout of the time machine. "And we've hit the mark for a second time. Your testing’s done. Next stop, the airport.”

"Carrie, we can't simply leave Luci on the ground."

"She'll be awake in, what, ten seconds?? Come on! I've been looking forward to this, Frank. To the day when I can finally fix this mess that is my life. We pull this off and my mom will be there for supper tomorrow. And who knows what else will get fixed along with it? So hurry up and reset these circuits for me.”

With that, Carrie pushed back on the lever of the time machine, opening the device... and allowing a plume of smoke to billow out. She fell back, coughing.

Frank leapt for the machine, catching it and fanning a hand overtop to clear the smoke. She watched as he then peered down into the device. "One or two of the circuits fried," Frank said slowly. “Uh, and not the new ones. So it will take some time to fix them, assuming..." He stopped himself.

“Assuming you can,” Carrie finished quietly.

“Kinda, yeah.” Frank looked up at her uncertainly.

So that was that. In the blink of an eye, everything she’d been hoping to accomplish, gone, vanished along with that puff of smoke.

Had the device always been fated to burn out? Was this some sort of cosmic karma, after she’d effectively rejected her ‘trapped in the woods’ resolution to be a better person? Or had it been the fault of Luci, the know-it-all girl with her new circuits, screwing up the existing ones?

Carrie's gaze shifted over to Luci, who was now awake, and staring over at Frank with a concerned look on her face. Carrie knew what she wanted to believe. “This is your fault," the blonde accused.

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Except it wasn’t, the voice in her head warned her. This was Carrie’s own damn fault, for wanting to rush things. In order to push Frank away, like she did with practically everyone else.

Because she was selfish. And short sighted. A perfect match with her plans for time travel, which had also been selfish and short sighted. Only about benefitting her. Changing her own life. Worse, that desire to change the past implied she’d given up on trying to make the most of what she had. Because of that, what did she have left? Nothing. Possibly not even Julie.

“My fault?” Luci countered. “Frank said it wasn’t my circuits that failed."

“But everything was going great before you two,” Carrie said, feeling herself start to shake with equal parts rage and despair. She used her rage to try and silence the damned voice of reason inside her head.

“Now, you’ve not only screwed up the time machine, you’ve turned Julie against me. Without her - you’ve destroyed everything, EVERYTHING that was good about my life!” Me, me, me, still all about me...

Luci met Carrie's gaze evenly. "Then only now can you understand how crushed someone like Laurie must have felt.”

Two strides later, and Carrie had backhanded Luci across the face. "Carrie!" Frank shouted in horror, jumping up to grab her arm. Feeling a strange sort of disconnect, Carrie looked over at her hand. Yes, she’d really done that. Why couldn’t she control herself?

At the same time, Luci turned her face slowly back to look at the blonde. “Nice. Does beating up people younger than you make you feel better?"

“Luci!” Frank admonished.

“No. It doesn’t,” Carrie admitted. A light breeze blew through her hair, and as Frank released her arm, it fell back to her side. “It makes me feel in control. Except perversely, I’m discovering that I’m not.” She turned away. “So, fine. I’m sorry, okay? I’ll be leaving you now. Please, don’t either of you ever come near me again.”

There was nothing for it. With the time machine out of commission, she didn’t need them any more - and they sure didn’t need her. Of course, given some of her recent activities, was there anyone left who would want her around? She sprinted towards the tree line, a lump in her throat.

***

Carrie was nearly out of sight before the full impact of her statement had sunk in. "Wait... Carrie!" Frank called out after her. "We can fix the machine. I can fix it! Carrie, running away isn't going to solve anything either."

“Oh, let her go, Frank," Luci sighed, finally standing up. “Remember all of the problems she’s caused you? Besides, she’ll be of no help fixing anything. Let her work through her anger issues. It will allow us to do some proper tests.”

“But..." Frank's voice trailed off.

"But?" Luci prompted.

Frank struggled to find the words. “She's a part of this."

“So she'll come back to her senses in a day or two.”

"Perhaps," Frank said, not totally convinced.

Luci reached out to touch Frank's arm. "Come on, I'll help you carry the time machine back to your place, okay? We can give it a once over before I head home. Assess the damage. See if we really can repair it.”

Frank turned back to look at the young girl, finally nodding slightly in agreement. "Okay. Maybe that's best," he conceded.

***

Carrie sat on the floor of her room, hugging a pillow and staring at her telephone. She refused to cry, even though she felt like crying. There had been one tear, and it had been more than enough. She was stronger than that. She had to be.

Troublingly, the few prior occasions she'd found herself sinking into moods like this, a call to Julie and a little chatter usually helped to perk her back up. Now, Carrie didn't think that was going to work. Because despite how fiercely she'd denied that Julie could be doing something underhanded behind her back... she knew they were right. It only made sense that Julie had been upset with her, owing to her keeping secrets.

Yet perhaps it wasn't too late. Perhaps she could salvage something from the wreck her life was becoming. Two years with Julie, it had to count for something, right?

Carrie found her fingers dialling the mansion almost before she realized it. Soon Jeeves was summoning her former(?) friend to the phone.

"Hello?" Julie's voice inquired.

"Julie?" Carrie said softly.

"Carrie, that you? Is something up?"

"Yes." Carrie paused. Her free fingers obtained a complete stranglehold on a lock of her hair. "Julie, are you responsible for what happened at the dance?"

"What? I thought we covered this, of course not."

"You're lying," Carrie contested. "What's more, I think you’ve been setting me up."

A laugh. "Whatever gave you that silly idea?"

"Time travel."

Silence from Julie's end. Then, "Interesting answer."

Carrie drew in a breath. "But I'm not time traveling any more," she continued in a rush. "It's all been screwed up, and I told Frank to take a hike, and so I'd like for things to go back to how they used to be now. Okay? You don't have to keep doing whatever it is you're doing, and we can go back to being best friends again. Okay? Sound good?"

“Perhaps,” Julie replied, still in a neutral tone. "But how do I know you're sincere about all that you're saying?"

"I... I just am. I’ll tell you all about the things that happened if it'll help convince you. Every detail."

"Okay, then let's meet," Julie said quickly.

“Tomorrow at school?"

“No, tonight. Now. You sound like you could use the company. I can drop by, it's no trouble."

Carrie scrunched her knees up to her chest, yanking her fingers free of her hair, a couple strands coming out by the roots. She winced. "Yeah, okay, I guess. You’ll have to use the tree though, my dad’s gone curfew on me."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Sit tight, Carrie. Everything’s going to be all right,” Julie concluded. There was a quiet beep as she hung up the phone.