Howard wrestled through the forest underbrush. He loved the outdoors, but a week of house avoidance had left him dirty, smelly, and hungrier than usual. He lived in an old abandoned shack in the middle of nowhere. No one ever went there, so Howard had purchased the land and made it his home. He didn’t particularly like dealing with people.

He pushed through the remaining underbrush and stepped into a small clearing. Near the center of the clearing sat a small shack. It had three rooms and one window, with a stream that rolled past lazily. Moss grew on the roof and on various parts of the wood walls, making the shack blend into the forest with ease. 

It wasn’t until after he shoved the front door open as carelessly as usual that Howard heard the voices. He froze and watched the door as it slowed, and only made the slightest of taps against the wall. There was no break in the voices, and Howard took that as a good sign.

Unfortunately Howard thought he recognized one of the voices. There were very few people that Howard knew, and among them there were even fewer that he actually liked.

“Ms. Garcia, where exactly is this?” a tired male voice asked, “Are you sure we will find someone useful here?”

“Of course,” a confident female voice replied, “My friend lives here but he is often out. He is a ‘one with the forest’ kind of guy.”

“And how would that kind of person be a benefit to our mission?” the male voice asked, “This involves several criminals. He is liable to die before we get very far.”

“I doubt it,” she replied.

Howard could tell she was smiling and felt a sense of dread. He was torn between the sudden sense of curiosity and the urgent feeling to get out before he was caught. Even if he did leave, he would have to be careful not to be noticed. 

“You see, Howie has a certain charm to him. He is antisocial, but he does have people skills. Not only that, but he has a way of drawing people like the ones on that list of yours to him,” the woman explained.

“So he really would die instantly,” the man muttered.

“Come on now, you know what I mean. People like him are just too fun to tease!”

There was no doubt about it. The woman who invaded his house with suspicious strangers was none other than his childhood neighbor Selina. She had always been incredibly annoying and followed him around like a stalker, pulling pranks every time he let his guard down. He thought she had moved on after she found success, but here she was setting a trap in his own house!

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Howard slowly moved backward, hoping to escape before he was noticed. 

“Hold on,” Selina suddenly said, “My Howie senses are going off. He is here.”

What in the world were ‘Howie senses’?! And would she give up on that nickname already? 

“Hey!” the federal agent shouted. Howard had seen the uniform in his quick glance backwards. He bolted for the exit. The doorway to the third room burst open and two more federal agents quickly barred his pathway out.

Howard looked around for an escape, but saw none. The only window was behind the first agent, and the door was behind two. “How much did you hear?” the one on the left blocking his way to the door demanded. He had a gun, but he hadn’t drawn it yet.

“Whatever it was I will be sure to forget quickly,” Howard replied.

“Sorry, but this is too big of an operation for us to risk,” the first agent told Howard, “We will have to keep you in our custody until this blows over. What is your name?”

This was exactly why Howard hated people, but he could hardly refuse. “Howard Lox,” he answered grudgingly.

The agent nodded. “I am Agent Manning,” he said, “Ms. Garcia, is this the friend you were talking about?”

“Definitely,” Selina said, stepping into view. She had added blue highlights to her platinum blonde hair and wore the smile of a predator that had caught their prey. Once again, everything about her irritated Howard to no end. 

“Will you be coming with us willingly so we can discuss this in a more secure place?” Agent Manning asked.

The criminal treatment, huh. It wasn’t like Howard had any choice. Knowing Selina she would have some kind of backup plan set up to ensure he couldn’t escape. 

“Yes,” he answered.

“Good choice,” Agent Manning approved, then turned to the other two, “Tell them we have two on the deal. The rest are behind bars, so we will have to talk to them there.”

“Yes sir!” the two agents said in unison before heading out of the building. 

Personally, Howard didn’t think it was smart to leave a single agent with two people. Then again, he wasn’t a criminal, and Selina was only suspicious and had no criminal record as far as he knew. Howard had no doubt in his mind that Agent Manning was skilled enough to deal with the both of them. 

“Come on,” Manning told them, “I have a helicopter waiting outside. Once we get back to the base we can figure everything out.”

Howard didn’t like the ‘we’ in that sentence. He didn’t want to be included in any of this. Perhaps he could convince them to put him in a nice, secluded safe house, but he was likely to be watched even then.

That idea didn’t last long. The second Howard saw the helicopter he knew he was in deep trouble. Instead of the sleek black, professional-looking helicopter he had been expecting, there was a white helicopter with a green and blue logo of a mental hospital. Was this really a top-secret government mission, or a suicide mission run by madmen?

More importantly, how had he not noticed a helicopter so close to his house? Had he been that tired? Coming home did have a way of lowering guards, but that was a bit much. 

“Did that arrive recently?” Selina asked.

“You didn’t bring it?” Howard asked, wondering how she also failed to notice a white helicopter in a forest.

“The plan was to take you to the mental institution if you tried to run,” Agent Manning explained, “No one would believe a madman… or woman.”

While Howard agreed that Selina belonged in a mental hospital there would be nothing he could do to stop them if they wanted to send him there, and a mental hospital was full of people. Even in solitude he would never really be alone. Anything would be better than being cooped up like that!

“Well, get on in,” Manning ordered. 

Howard got in. He would have to tiptoe lightly from this point to make sure that no one got any terrible ideas of what to do with him. The back of the helicopter was roomy enough for the three of them.

Agent Manning put on a headset. “Head back to base,” he told the pilot, “and this time don’t fly like a drunk.”

With those hardly reassuring words, they set off.