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Chapter 88 ‘Kung Foo’

The team were spending some much needed down time in the City of Arngo. It was one of the largest cities on the continent as it was a central trading hub due to its location. Whether on Earth or Pallimustus the location near where what would be the Suez Canal afforded the locals opportunity. In Pallimustus this was especially pertinent as it marked a dividing line for magical density. Approaching from the south they had a mix of high level bronze and low level silver with patches of gold. The sea to the north was the domain of gold rank monsters, heavily ‘farmed’ by adventurers to provide shipping lanes necessary for global trade.

They had only been in the city for two days and Kyra and James had already spent everything they had. Kyra had been incredibly generous and bought James an item which meant that he could bind an item to his familiar Koda. James had then used that item to bind a set of bespoke armour designed for the large bear.

Edmund the young shop owner had postulated that due to the fact his dimensional storage was a racial gift that there would be a more flexible measure of control on the bond. The adjustments had taken the better part of the day, the shop owner taking the task personally to ensure the best fit for the most protection. They had then taken the armour to the magic society straight away to hire a ritual room. James had to re-enact the ritual that he used to summon Koda at bronze rank, placing the items in the middle with Koda. The ritual was slightly different to how they remembered because as well as chanting the summoning James also started speaking bear. The end result was a flash of light none of them could look at and the ritual was complete with Koda stood in the middle and the artefact and armour simply gone.

Everyone stared, waiting to see if there was any difference. Oddly self conscious Koda dropped to all fours under the attention. James had an idea and reabsorbed the familiar then immediately re-deployed him. When he materialised he was magnificent in the glorious golden armour. It made the giant bear even more formidable. The sharp edges and large decorated panels were imposing, when he moved it made no noise but the light played over the engravings. Once everyone had taken a good look he re-absorbed him again and redeployed him a second time, this time he appeared without the armour. After a moment of walking around in circles in what looked like distress he shook himself like a wet dog and his armour seemed to seep out of his fur, forming into place. Looking very happy with himself he bounded around once or twice before rolling over in his armour. He rolled to his feet and set his feet wide and shook himself again, the armour seemed to shrink into him and he was once again without, his glossy brown fur ruffling as he moved.

Lucy was writing in her notebook, making keen observations that she might pass onto the magic society. “That must be what Mr Edland was on about, the racial gift bond. I would assume that because it’s a gift produced by your soul as an outworlder and he is your familiar similarly connected to you by an essence power which is as much part of you that there is enough of a connection bridged by the binding stone that he can ‘share’ space for this item.”

“This is incredible. Kyra, thank you! Thank you for finding this for us.” James said turning to Kyra.

“You’re welcome.” She said with a genuine glowing smile. “We get on well and there’s a vested interest in keeping him alive to help keep you alive.”

“Yeh, you have been spending a lot of time with him…”

“Who’s hungry?” Kyra said interrupting him. “We’ve not heard from Ragnar in a while and it’s nearly dinnerish time.” [Ragnar! Where are you? What’s up? Have you found anywhere good to eat?]

[Mitchels!!! Revels, food, wine and good company! Come hither! Come come! Now is the time for telling our deeds. Giant slayers and quick tongues, the delvers of Stonewall’s deeps. The master crafter with the Diamond love. Mine own heroes! Come!]

“Well I guess we aren’t saying no to that!” Kyra said and immediately headed for the door.

“Did she just dodge the question?” James asked the others.

“I’m sure she has her reasons.” Teddy said shrugging and heading after her.

“She’s not going to steal him anyhow? I’m sure it’s not going to be a bad surprise.” Lucy said patting him on the arm and headed out, keen for another church of Hero party.

James turned to his familiar who was nonchalantly cleaning his back with his tongue. “Are you going to give me any hint?” The big bear yawned showing his massive teeth then rushed towards James in a cloud of motes, absorbing into him. “Damnit”.

They made their way through the city. They used a rickshaw in the design of a giant millipede. They sat sideways on it taking in the city, the benefit to using city transport was that every time they went through a different section through the spokes and circles of walls they weren’t subject to the same security protocols that the foot traffic was. They made good time and were faced with the familiar sight of the sculpture of the Spartan helmet on a Spartan sword with a Spartan shield resting against it next to the huge wooden double doors.

The doors burst open revealing five huge drunken warriors. Ragnar was in the centre with a tankard in each hand and that didn’t stop him wrapping his arms around Kyra and picking her up, carrying her over his shoulder while she squealed and beat the back on his shoulder demanding to be put down. Teddy and Lucy were similarly picked up while it took two warriors to joyfully wrap their arms around James’ back and an arm under each of his knees to carry him inside like he was sat in a throne.

Inside they were in a far grander temple then in Greenstone. The size of the city meant the temples were proportionally bigger. The entranceway was vast with vaulted ceilings. There was no mistaking the same decor as the last temple, tapestries of glorious battles and cases with magical weapons. Lucy could even spy a Diamond rank Roman-type sword next to her in a case. Just off to the side of the hallway was a grand feasting hall with a long table stuffed with food, casks of ale, wine and other spirits lining the walls all the way around. The crowd of warriors was more diverse than Greenstone, with more of each of the races present. They were all assembled as if someone had told them they were coming…

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Entering a temple you knew you had entered a god’s domain. You could feel their presence in the background all throughout the building. That presence surged up all of a sudden and the warriors unceremoniously dumped the Mitchells on their feet while they all took a knee. The four of them stood while they heard an almighty voice.

“Welcome Mitchells.”

There was a pregnant pause as the presence dulled down to the level it was before.

The warriors all looked to a huge woman, built on a similar scale to Eddie Hall she had even earned the nickname ‘the Beast’ in a parallel universe. She nodded and the temple erupted in celebration again. The Mitchells got picked up again and carried through to the banquet hall, food and booze was vigorously supplied and they fell into it with gusto. It turned out The Beast was the high priestess, a senior gold rank adventurer who came down to sit with them and hear their tales. Or rather, Ragnar orating like a barbarian bard their magnificent journey through peril and luck.

Some time later everyone was starting to get pretty merry. Several scuffles had broken out and they were generally left to peter out, the high priestess would not tolerate any powers or weapons to be drawn in her presence in the temple. If any looked like they were going to go too far she used a telekinesis power to knock them both flying without having to get up.

Some time later Ragnar and James were sat together still eating when the others had gone to join in a game of what they were delighted to see was a pallimustus game equivalent of kubb. James was still rather happy over a year after arriving that as essence users they could eat as much as they wanted to and not get fat.

“Mine brother-from-another-mother.” Ragnar started, slurring slightly using the phrase James had unwisely taught him. “What is new since I left you at the dock? I have been drinking since I arrived and without your marvellous interface I would not know how much time has passed.”

“Oh nothing much, a day with the wife yesterday where we tried to set up a nice surprise for Teddy and Kyra but she beat us to it! Koda has a rather smart new suit!”

“A bear in clothes! A smart jest indeed!” Ragnar laughed merrily. “Let us see this fearsome beast wearing his finest!”

James didn’t think too hard about it, he was tentatively sipping on silver rank booze, enough liquor to get past his Omnivorscent power but too much would do him actual damage. He released Koda behind him where there was enough space where the open double door to the entranceway was.

Koda somehow always knew what was going on before he deployed, through his bond with James he came out knowing what to do and this time as with all others he played his part. He rose to his hind feet and clashed its front legs against his belly armour and opened his jaws wide making a low noise that wasn’t quite a growl. He wasn’t looking to frighten anyone.

Unfortunately fear wasn’t an emotion that was common amongst the congregation of Hero. James heard at least three cries of “For Hero!!” Before they decided to launch themselves at Koda, he could only assume they thought he was some kind of monster.

James had to give his head a little wobble to make sense of what happened next, he was too drunk and too confused to just simply reabsorb Koda. The first warrior to reach Koda was a Leonid built like a bear himself, strangely he decided to try and punch the big bear in the face. Koda twisted into the man, hooking a claw behind the man’s gauntleted fist and bent his hips low, he threw the man into the nearest table. The big bear then gracefully spread his stance wide and pirouetted, pivoting on a rear foot into a low stable centre of gravity. The spin was unexpected and he hooked a boot of the next attacker to trip him into a slide that ended at the feet of the first. He used his momentum and significant weight to use a sweeping cross body block of the third with one arm and immediately followed it up with a palm/paw strike to the warriors chest using the momentum, the man went flying into the dog-pile of drunk warriors. Now stable in a low stance he met the fourth and they traded blows like sparring in a dojo until Koda reminded the man he was a bear and dropped to all fours and head butted him with an armoured head at least three times larger than the human’s.

The fifth person to approach Koda was Kyra, she was jumping up and down on tip toes smiling in delight and clapping her hands rapidly running towards him. She jumped and hugged him round the neck.

“You did so well! I’m so proud of you!” She said and he made a happy noise.

“What is going on?” James asked disbelievingly. Lucy was next to him now and looked at him and nudged him in the ribs. She motioned at Kyra then Koda then back again. James’s face lit up with understanding. “This?! This is what you’ve been doing with Koda all this time alone? You’ve been teaching him Kung Foo?!”

“You know it’s not Kung Foo, I’ve taught him a few different styles. I thought it might be handy to teach him martial arts. Plus it was fun. I love Lucky but there’s no way I can teach a dog martial arts.”

There was now a good amount of laughter round the room at James’s expense. Good naturedly. Koda had gone to sniff the first guy he’d thrown, pawing him to roll him over and lick his face. The Leonid looked like he might have passed out from drink as much as being thrown.

The night continued as it had before with drinking and party, the new addition being ‘wrestle the bear’ who was sparring all comers in the banquet hall and was putting in a good performance, partly because fighting a bear like a person is difficult and unsettling and because as a bear he wasn’t drinking and was probably the most sober warrior in the room.

The Mitchells woke up much like they had in the Greenstone temple so many months before, strewn over furniture in the common room clasping various tankards and cups. Young acolytes were bustling about cleaning around the drunkards. The smell of breakfast was coming through from the banquet hall and they all tramped through. Before they got to the self serve buffet James took a cask from his inventory and put it by the juices and tea, he poured the first cup of coffee for the high priestess and apologised it was just the bronze rank variant. She loved it and everyone else was keen to try it. They all sat down one end nursing mild hangovers.

“It’s a good job we don’t have any plans today.” Teddy said, idly stirring something like porridge.

“We do, or at least, I do.” Lucy said. “I promised a Hero warrior called Edgar I would run an essence ritual for his brother, poor guy is twenty and only just able to take essences they reckon.”

“Why you?” James asked, then quickly clarified at the look on his wife’s face. “I mean you’re beautiful and talented and gorgeous and hot and wonderful.” Lucy cut him off, thoroughly mollified. “But there’s other ritual specialists that can do it?”

“Because we were talking about the interface. How incredibly helpful it is to know how exactly a power works from the moment you get it rather than working it out over time. He’s already behind all his brothers who got theirs early in their teens.”

“We’ll if you’ve got to go then as none of the rest of us have anything on then we should probably join you!” Kyra said to the groans of both the boys.

Lucy had no cajoling power over Teddy other than when they were working on a project together in the workshop but she shot her husband a flat look.

“Okay okay okay, the more the merrier, what’s the worst that can happen?”