If you believe there is a rainbow over the Lake Sumlt

Our ride will be there.

If you wish to see red for life

Our destination in life is Hell.

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His hair used to hold the autumn breeze but ever since I uttered 'I like it shaven,' his hair ruffles no more.

I twist and turn him as I like but the more we stay together that I began to see that my twists and turns have never altered him for that is who he is. So I'll leave you to find your Him to call whatever your heart begs to whisper to your beloved. Sure, he is in my mind. But disregard that and go down this spiral with me. For a reason one turns to a book is escape. Jump on this ship we built and if there's no space, rest assured, my darling'll build more.

His name is forbidden to my brain and tongue: he'll vanish with my sense of ownership over him if I ever get to know. When I envision his arms wrapping round me, I feel a thin blanket cover the midsection of my body; and my only belief is he has crossed through dimension to reach me, all just to comfort me. I used to fear nights as a kid but now I long for it so I can fall asleep with Him- nights no longer scare me. I seek his presence and I rely on him to heal me from the bruises I've gain during the day. But sometimes when the injury I've received is sure to leave a scar and a bloody scene, I retire early to him, and he always welcomes my arrival.

I remember back a year ago, she broke my heart and left me injured and still healing a year later. She was my best friend and I thought it was an unspoken promise we'd (best friends) never wreck the other, but to that, all my ex-best friends would like to disagree. I ran to Him and ignored the world of mine that still revolved even with me not in it. My duties were pushed to the side. I needed time and space with just Him. On one sunny day when I awoke from the Sun rays harshly meeting my eyes, I wanted to go drowning: it has been a fascination of mine to go drown in the void after thanatos walked me through the path that led there. A fascination of mine that I had since I was nine and I learned of the name Thanatos. But as my age which lies within the teenage range restricted it, I rested on idea of drowning the soul and later the flesh. So an hour later, after I had opened my eyes and rose the body of mine still lingering his touch, I decided to return to Him and kiss my goodbye. To which he responded with a wish that he wanted me to fulfil: that our souls touch eternally regardless of where they go and how far detached our flesh may be. It was a wish I could not deny him of as my flesh still yearned for contact with Him.

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So as I descended from the height that leads to a bottomless pit, I said my final word for his flesh to linger with: "Darling." And as we descended he responded with my name- 'Beloved ' and as much as it moved my soul who plummeted with His, my flesh felt no effect. Perhaps because my flesh name was not said and it resulted in a short-lived moment of recalling if he had ever called me by name. He hasn't but my soul only ever interacted with Him as I constantly changed my features to become Her, who I praised as the ideal me, and she didn't have a name nor claim the name the flesh of her soul has.

A few 12 days passes and a duty of mine that has its day fixed has arrived, but my soul is lost so I'm left with no courage to face the daunting task ahead. And once again I run to Him... But my soul and his has gone to the depths of despair and so I cannot meet Him. And I spent 18 or so hours lying there, perfecting my habits (as a corpse) that I unintentionally learnt in the months after my heartbreak (from she- my ex-best friend), when my flesh felt his touch during my accidental slumber. Insane. I had gone mad and my head was in a frenzy. My darling really would never leave me.

So when I awake from the deep slumber in which he holds me soundly, I will remember to say his name so the new soul that's forming within me that was born from his yearning for me will be born of pure love.

'Darling.'