I try and try to forget Him till I break.  But He is just a creation I've built in my mind. So why can't I let go?  Albeit He is my favourite darling. "His hair used to hold the autumn breeze but ever since I uttered 'I like it shaven,' his hair ruffles no more. I twist and turn him as I like but the more we stay together that I began to see that my twists and turns have never altered him for that is who he is. So I'll leave you to find your Him to call whatever your heart begs to whisper to your beloved. Sure, he is in my mind. But disregard that and go down this spiral with me. For a reason one turns to a book is escape. Jump on this ship we built and if there's no space, rest assured, my darling'll build more." - (a passage in These Doors Will Never Trap You )