Darling has been with me since I knew what ideal meant. I learnt the word and took him as my savior.

Entering

Before I step in a room dictating my worth

Before I break my bubble by failing this test

I'll think of him and the bells ringing will be-

Continuning the story from last night

Rolling and sprinting across the room

On the bed then later in the hall

No sense of control over myself,

No sense of time nor purpose

Giving all my worth in how much he sees

Got a 9, jumping and celebrating

Forgetting to run to darling now

Praised by the teacher, saw stars and I'm no longer down

Happy to see the worth in leaving him and concentrating

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He got me wrapped around his finger: he smiled and I rolled with it. It's a shame he can't bring such happiness in my life. I had to snap out to focus on what matters in my life. I gave worth to him but he gave no return. He became valueless until exams was over and I had time to fantasize. But why? Why him? Darling, as sweet as lemon, is mine. Later, I'll follow him down the line. I'm happy. For the rush of dopamine, I'll question things later. But for now I know, this won't lead anywhere. But for now, I'll play along to get that smile on my face. Sad days as I'll remember. Forgetting the eggs thrown at my back by them.

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Snapping

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The peg on the clothesline exerts its grip

The clothesline ready with its tensile strength

Throwing the clothes praying for it to dry

Never caring for the yield point; piling it up

Leaving it to break and wondering when

The whys answer themselves when we ever do look

You'll have to know when the line you tread

Is ready to have you fall and watch that demise

Your darling hasn't every caught you, has he?

Soon living in fear never knowing your apex time

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I was young, but I still knew he was never mine like that. My age was 11 then and I may have been too young to be wise, but nevertheless, I knew.