---Best---
I walk across the bridge, from the lift, to the Starboard Dorm column, on Deck 5, Qorak at my side and Tcakak cradled in my wings.
We cross the threshold of Triple M and make our way to the Commonroom.
Upon entering, I am greeted by a familiar sight.
“This is the second time recently, I’ve come here and found a Dormful of exhausted Terrans, just as arrival at a new planet is imminent (!)” I smirk, playfully.
“Nah, Cap… it ain’t like that… we ain’t ‘exhausted’… Shīfu knows how to get the most out of us without running us ragged… we’re good-tired…” protests a smiling Victor, from the sofa.
“I don’t know where he gets his energy! He took Qīnglóng for a swim, right after we were done today!” announces Brunhilda.
“Awwww! Look at that cutey!” cries Jennie, having noticed Tcakak in my wings “She’s so big, now!”
She comes to offer soft pets which Tcakak accepts, preening.
Jennie laughs “Look at this little diva! So cute!”
I laugh as all the Triple Ms (not ‘good-tired’ from training) gather round to shower Tcakak with attention.
“I think she’s going to grow up to be just like her mother(!)” opines Emiko, wryly.
I cock a browtuft and respond “I’m unsure as to whether I should take that as a compliment(!)”
“I second that… just like her mother.” interjects Qorak, tenderly.
“I don’t preen like that!” I object, mirthfully.
“Eeeeeeeh…” respond everyone present, screwing up their respective faces and wobbling their respective dominant hands/wing, in a coordinated tease.
I sigh, chuckle and hop atop the perch, followed by Qorak.
The rest of the Triple Ms return to their seats around the table.
Jennie nestles into her girlfriend and says “You guys better not be too tired from training to go to the beach! I’m looking forward to seeing this eclectic assortment of babes in swimwear! Yuán’s going to have me to answer to, if you six miss out on our beach episode on Kahakai Nani(!)”
Brunhilda chuckles and answers “Why do I get the sense that the supercentenarian kung fu monk might actually be scared of the fury of a horndog denied(!)” before planting a kiss on the top of her girlfriend’s scalp.
“He should be scared, that’s why(!)” laughs Jennie “He denies me the opportunity to see you guys in swimwear, he’ll regret it(!)”
“You… realise there’s a pool aboard, right?” queries Krish “You could suggest a pool day if you’re that desperate to see everyone in swimwear?”
“Not the same… the natural light of the sun and gas giant in the sky, the wind blowing in off the sea, the salt, the sand… there’s just a magic to a sunny beach that can’t be reproduced on a ship… grateful as I am that we have a pool aboard!” directing that latter at me, reassuringly.
“The pool is just a functional installation for semiaquatic species (apparently including Humans)… I’m not insulted that it doesn’t compare with a beach day, in your estimation(!)” I respond.
She nods, satisfied, then a thought seems to occur to her “Captain, have you heard that the Bright Plume’s Boon has struck again?”
Confused, I ask “The Bright Plume’s Boon? Would you care to elaborate?”
“Leon and Enas hooked up! After Jae and Tymancha, Cucu and Soo and all the Triple M couplings, it’s beginning to look like this ship might have some sort of… enchantment, that makes couples much more likely than normal to form aboard it!” she explains, excitedly.
“Is that not just Terrans being Terrans?” I query “I was unaware that this was an abnormal rate of couple formation among your species… plus didn’t three of the Triple M relationships form off the ship? Thran and Xon met on Zanzibar and only later discovered that they were going to be sharing a voyage, Krish and Hasiakh met on Prznith and only afterward did Hasiakh get hired to the Bright Plume… likewise with Msia and the Shings…”
“It’s not just Terrans though, is it?” answers Jennie “Glark and Bammy, Kwijj and Jjop and have you seen the way that Hamtonio and Huamita have been looking at eachother(!?) I’m telling you guys, there’s something in the water!” her eyes go wide and she turns to Twila “There’s nothing in the water, right?… Or the air… or the food?!”
Twila laughs and responds “I wasn’t awake for most of these couplings! Also, I may be a prankster but I wouldn’t risk setting AI rights back by decades, just to spike all you guys with aphrodisiacs, amusing as that does sound!… Sort of seems a bit more like a MacLeod move than a Twila one, if I’m honest…(!)”
Jennie feigns indignity “I would never!!!… Unless I thought I could get away with it…(!)” smirking at that latter, half under her breath.
Here, Xon speaks up “I don’t know if me and Thran should count towards this boon…”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Thran looks up, from her position under her much taller girlfriend’s arm, with a blank expression that… could be curiosity… but says nothing.
Xon continues “…like Tcakqaal said, neither of us had moved aboard and we had no idea we were going to be sharing a ship, much less a Dorm, when we got together!”
“Yes… but you’d both been aboard, hadn’t you!? You to deboard the rescues and prisoners, Thran to inspect… clearly the Bright Plume saw your worthiness and granted you your Boon early(!)” smirks Jennie.
Xon laughs and turns her violet eyes down into Thran’s mossy green ones “You hear that, babe? We’re special enough for the ship to hook us up before we even moved in(!) We just came aboard and the matchmaking Spirits were like ‘Thesetwoaretooperfectforeachother,getthemtogethernow!’(!)” causing a light smile back from the shorter woman.
Here, Qorak interjects, addressing me “If you think about it… weren’t we the first couple to form aboard…? And that was after you told me, in no uncertain terms, that it would never happen.”
Jennie’s face lights up as she says “OMG! You two are the OG Booners! I think it needs to be renamed… Tcakqaal’s Curse?”
“It’s shifted from ‘Boon’ to ‘Curse’, now, has it?” I quip.
“Yeah!” nods Jennie, as if it should be obvious “Clearly, some entity, beyond space and time, overheard your denouncement of love, decided to make a fool of you, then got a taste for playing matchmaker, hence ‘Tcakqaal’s Curse’(!)”
“Isn’t it a little superstitious to attribute to spirits or curses what could be explained by coincidence?” I query.
She smiles “Terran engineers are a superstitious lot(!)”
“Hey, Cap…” smiles Victor “…if the money ever dries up in deathworld research, you can always try fallin’ back on singles’ cruises(!) ‘Those deemed worthy by the Bright Plume are guaranteed to find a match made in Akaros’(!)”
“And I suppose that would make you the galaxy’s most overqualified [bouncer] then, would it(?)” I retort, sarcastically.
There is a general chuckle at that.
“What about me and Krish? I’d never set tail on the Bright Plume when we got together.” poses Hasiakh to Jennie.
“Cookie and Mage must have carried the matchmaking magic with them onto that planet and drawn their ideal matches to them…” shrugs Jennie, not missing a beat.
Hasiakh thoughtfully narrows her arsenic green, slitpupilled eyes “I’m… genuinely unsure of which would terrify me more: Your species has made yourselves masters of the Sands themselves, you have the favour of some extradimensional entity or entities that have… or you’ve just entirely fabricated that whole thing on the spot!”
Jennie playfully throws up her hands and smiles “Who’s to say(!)”
There is a brief lull in conversation before Kas addresses Emiko, changing the subject “Emi… I’ve been wondering about your whole ‘best in the galaxy’ line…”
Emiko smiles “Yes? What have you been wondering?”
“Well, it’s just occurred to me that the best two spies in the galaxy are, very likely, two people that no one knows the real names of, Fliss and I are definitely good but I’m sure there are academics, in our field, more accomplished than us and (no offense Xon but) wasn’t Xon effectively just the first soldier they met on Zanzibar who they then happened to make friends with?” answers Kas.
“So… you’re wondering if I and, by extension, the ODR are being entirely forthright with all of you?… If, perhaps, we’re just using the ‘best in the galaxy’ line as an ego boost? Blowing smoke up your arses? Giving all of you insincere flattery?”
“Yep. That’s what I’m wondering.” answers Kas, unabashed.
Emiko has a pensive expression for a moment before saying “It’s not just ‘smoke’… but it does rather depend on your definition of ‘best’. Obviously, anyone whose information we weren’t able to find, we weren’t able to consider… there may be better spies than Byrne and Pereira… the UTCIS gave us an anonymised list of agents to choose from and, after consideration, those two were the ones selected on the strength of their track record and personal rapport with eachother… We also can’t compel anyone into it (nor would I want a team of shanghaied experts to be my First Contacters(!)) so (I won’t name names but) there have been a few instances of us having to go with a second or third choice because our first was not receptive to the offer… In your cases, Kas and Felicity… you were already on the shortlist for consideration and it was the combination of your convenient location, on Zanzibar Mpya, and preexisting relationship with the crew of the Bright Plume that clinched you two as the clear choices for this mission’s conservation experts. In terms of the military observer…” she gestures to Xon “…we really didn’t need a 10 star General(!)… We’re fairly well covered in terms of security, so we really didn’t need a combat expert either. What we needed was a soldier who didn’t have a history of expressing antigardenworlder sentiment and who was (ideally) competent in a variety of skills, who would get along well with the crew and who had a decent track record. Xon’s only black marks were a handful of times she’s been written up for minor insubordination but, looking deeper, I found that each instance was one of conscientious objection to orders… I considered that a plus! I’d prefer a soldier who won’t just snap off a salute and give me a ‘Yes, Ma’am! Right away, Ma’am!’, if given an objectionable order, to one who would… The selection criteria, for Terran’s, is effectively: known to us, accessible to us, highly competent in their field (on a galactic scale), good track record in their field, seem like a good fit for the preexisting team, no history of antigardenworld bigotry. For gardenworlders, it’s the same except that last is ‘no history of antideathworld bigotry’… It’s not a long list but anyone we select has to check all those boxes before we can start weighing them against eachother… It’s a little bit like your 5 Ss model; just being more accomplished in your field is not a guarantee that you are the best for the role… I’m not even sure that there’s a way to objectively determine the ‘best Conservationist in the galaxy’.”
Kas nods, seeming satisfied “I guess that makes sense… and that ‘most appropriate for the role in the galaxy’ doesn’t quite have the same ring as ‘best in the galaxy’(!)”
Twila speaks up here “I’m about to bring us out of warp.”
My natural eyes narrowed, mirthfully, I answer “Perhaps a little closer than 9 hours of sublight away, if you can help it(!)”
She smiles “I’ll bring us out as close as I can without getting us in trouble with the local authorities. You guys might want to take position by the bowward window, if you want the view of us arriving.”
With that, all present (including the six tired pupils) rise from their seats to do as Twila suggested.
I face Tcakak forward to allow her to see the moment the stars stop moving and the planet appears.
“Arriving in 3, 2, 1…”
Out of nowhere there is suddenly a star, mere light[minutes] away, and clearly visible. Much closer is an enormous purple gas giant, with a barely visible moon that is our intended destination.
Upwards of 96% of the moon’s surface is covered in Ocean, with what land there is taking the form of small, scattered islands not visible from this far out.
Tcakak is visibly surprised by the celestial objects having appeared from nowhere and chitters delightedly. There are also some admiring ‘oooh’s and ‘aaah’s from those present who have a developed sense of object constancy and more than no understanding of warpspeed travel.
“Erm… Captain…” hesitates Twila.
“Yes, Twila?” I respond, turning to her.
“We’re… we’re receiving a mayday transmission… on all bands…”
“…a mayday transmission? This close to an inhabited planet?! Why hasn’t it already been answered by local Aerospace Control?” I answer, incredibly confused.
“It’s… coming from Aerospace Control.”
I’m silent a few moments, processing that, before I say “On screen, here, now! There’s no time to take it on the Bridge.”
This will be the first time in my career that I’ve taken a distress call from planetary authorities!