“Exciting! Exciting!” yips Sam, jumping boisterously.

“Shhh! Buddy, we don’t want to be heard!” says Brunhilda, giving him a calming stroke.

“OK, Mummymummy…” he says, his translator making him… slightly quieter “…still exciting!”

“I don’t understand why I’m part of this, I only met him recently. It’s not exactly like he and I are friends…” frowns Dr Mink.

“If you don’t participate in things like this, you’ll never be friends, Fliss!” explains an exasperated Kas.

“Is the secrecy necessary?” queries Qorak.

“The whole thing isn’t always secret… this bit is… sort of… Obviously, you can work it out, if this isn’t your first, but it’s meant to be secret.” explains Msia.

“Krish spent a lot of time on it!” says Hasiakh, placing her two, two thumbed, hands on his shoulders.

“Thanks, Hassi.” smiles Krish before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“What’s the time?” asks Emiko, a silent Ms. Hunter behind her, a relaxed looking Xon draping her arms around her impassive girlfriend’s shoulders.

“They’re on their way back, we need to get ready.” informs Twila.

“I’ll do it, just tell me when.” says Jennie, picking up a miniature flame emitting device.

Twila’s holographic head bobs in agreement.

There follow a few minutes of relative quiet as we wait.

“OK, now…” says Twila, immediately followed by Jennie giving a brief, slightly pyromaniacal, giggle as she ignites the blowtorch and sets the fires.

Twila turns out the lights, leaving the room illuminated only by combustion.

Then we hear it… the noise we were waiting for… the reason we didn’t put up the privacy field… the sound of the Triple M hallway door opening and footsteps making their way inside.

Even though I know there are five pairs of feet, only one is audible. I wonder if I would be able to hear those footsteps if she didn’t intend me to…

The sound draws close to the Commonroom door and I take a preparatory inhale.

The door slides open, immediately inducing eleven explosive cracks, propelling colourful paper to be blasted in the direction of those who have just entered.

“SURPRISE!!!” shouts the room in unison at a, shocked looking, Victor, who’s now dropping the combat stance he briefly assumed when initially alarmed by the unexpected noise.

ff♫Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy biiirthday dear Tay-Cudd-Victooor!

Happy birthday to you!♫ff

We sing as Victor covers his face and gives an embarrassed smile, between his girlfriend and pet.

Not everyone was able to let off one of the [party poppers]. Qorak and I simply lacked the strength to pull the string with sufficient force to trigger the explosives (and both had, not a little, reservation about triggering, even contained, explosions so close to our wingclaws), Sam, Fluffy and Twila lack the necessary manipular anatomy (though Twila was able to summon a holographic simulation of one) and Fluffy and Tuun would have been unable to conceal [party poppers] if they’d taken them to the gym with him.

There is a little confusion when it gets to the part of the song where we are to say his name, Qorak, Hasiakh and I had it explained to us that we were to use the name we felt most comfortable with and a little chaos, on that part, is normal and expected.

As we finish singing Victor walks to the cake and blows out the five wax prisms, one of which is shaped into the Terran numeral for ‘three’, one of which is shaped into their symbol for nullity, the other three of which are simple sticks, representing tens of [years] he’s lived… or ‘decades’.

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The room claps and cheers as he does so.

“You rascal(!)” he says with mirthful, insincere accusation at Tuun “I thought it was weird that you were so keen on goin’ to the gym and stayin’ there so much longer than normal! You were distractin’ me! How d’you even know!?”

Tuun gives a smug smile and says “When we were talking to my mums, you said you were 'coming up on thirty’, I went to Tcakqaal to ask if your birthday was on file, she found it and we started planning this surprise party for you!”

“Awww, thanks baby!” he turns to me “Cap… thank you…!”

I shake my head “Think nothing of it, Victor. Honestly, I’m a little ashamed that this is the first [birthday] party you’ve had since coming aboard! You should have said something… I knew of this custom, from my study of Terrans, but didn’t quite understand its significance!”

He laughs “Yeah, well… it’d’ve felt a bit conceited to tell a bunch of gardenworlders that they have to throw a party for me, once or twice per cycle, to congratulate me for not dyin’ in the orbital period of a planet tens of thousands of lightyears away(!)”

I chitter “Yes… ‘not dying’ isn’t quite the achievement in the rest of the galaxy that it is in Terran Space(!)”

Tuun makes her way to Victor’s side and wraps her arms around him “We didn’t tell the crew at large because we knew someone would blab if we did, but… we did prepare an evite to send out if you wanted. We got presents for you, they’re over there… We… might need to relocate to the Canteen if you want to invite everyone and too many people show up…”

Victor kisses her and says “Yeah, send the evite… the more the merrier!”

“Sent!” interjects Twila.

“Thanks, Twi!… As to the presents… I don’t know what on Earth you could’ve got me!? What do you get the guy who already has everythin’ he could possibly want or ask for?!”

“It was tricky… but we figured some stuff out… hope you like them!” grins Tuun, baring her long teeth.

“I’m sure I’ll love ’em!” he says, planting another kiss on her lips.

Krish produces a long, sharp, metal cutting implement and extends it, handle first, to Victor’s hand.

“Would you do the honours, birthday boy?” he smiles.

Victor takes the handle and waits for Krish to release the blade before turning it to the cake.

He makes a confident incision and there is another cheer.

Pieces are cut for all except Sam, Fluffy, Hasiakh, Twila, Qorak and I, the former three receiving a meat based alternative to suit their carnivory, Twila summoning a holographic piece of cake (and assuring us that she is able to simulate the sensation of eating cake for herself) and Qorak and I receiving a delectable fruit based cake.

“So… thirty…! Do you feel like an old man, yet(?)” quips Emiko, as we eat.

Victor laughs “Not really… sorta don’t feel any different to how I did yesterday… part of me still feels sixteen years old(!)”

“It’s always the way! The older you get the less meaningful birthdays become… I’m sure that’ll be all the more the case, now that we have regen tech! When you’re five hundred, you’ll be utterly uninterested in people throwing birthday parties for you!”

“Have you heard that the first Human is about to pass two hundred?” interjects Xon.

“Really?” queries Krish.

“Yeah, Hiranur Tiryaki from Yeni Türkiye… she was the oldest Human alive when Terran regen was cracked and will, likely, always be the oldest Human at first treatment! I mean… unless someone else decides they’re going to live a natural lifespan, makes it past a hundred and seventy, then changes their mind(!) I can get a picture of her if you’re interested?”

There is general agreement that we are all interested in seeing a picture of the oldest Human alive.

Xon starts to dig for her holopad when Twila projects two images beside one another.

“Oh… thanks!” smiles Xon.

The image on the left is of a wizened woman with sparse white hair, milky white eyes, wrinkled, waxy skin and, seemingly, none of the oral outcrops of bone that Terrans use for slicing and grinding their food (not having gizzards). The image on the right is of a vibrant, smiling woman with sleek black hair, the sight restored to her eyes, the youth restored to her smooth, olive brown skin, her smile exposing a mouthful of healthy, white bones.

“Is she…? What’s her lineage?” I ask uncertainly.

“She’s a hybrid, she’s got ancestry from all four Human lineages that existed when she was born… they hadn’t sequenced Tshwane genes at the time, so we didn’t exist… her hybrid vigour is thought to be a large part of what allowed her to naturally live so long.” Explains Xon.

“According to her Galactopedia article; she is three eigths Sapiens, three eigths Longi and had a Neanderthal great grandmother and a Denisovan great grandfather.” elaborates Twila.

“It’s… rather a unique appearance it’s given her…” I observe.

“You mean she looks like a total babe(?)” laughs Xon.

“She does?” I ask, genuinely unsure.

There is a chorus of agreement that the Hiranur, on the right, is extremely attractive by Terran standards.

“I don’t suppose there’s any chance that, by astronomical coincidence, she’s one of the ones who’ll be meeting us on the pickup stops, is there(?)” jokes Jennie.

Emiko laughs “To my knowledge, no! If she does come aboard, you’ll have to fight me for her(!)… I’m sure your girlfriend will be on my side(!)”

Jennie clings to Brunhilda’s side and gives her a reassuring kiss.

“Do you want to open the presents now, Victor?” asks Tuun.

He thinks a moment “Yeah… probably best if we don’t leave it until others arrive. They might feel bad for not havin’ got me anythin’! Not that they could’ve!… Considerin’ that they didn’t know it were my birthday and most of ’em prob’ly don’t know what’s expected for a Terran birthday(!)”

We move to the pile of presents and, with some ceremony, he begins receiving the gifts we prepared.

I hope he's pleased with them!