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There Will Be Scritches
There Will Be Scritches Pt.174

There Will Be Scritches Pt.174

---Pirates---

---Lufdorg’s perspective---

I sit in the Captain’s chair on the bridge of the last remaining ship that I know to still be loyal to me.

Not even a [year] ago, I was a king!

I ruled a fleet of hundreds of ships!

Thousands of pirates followed my command!

We had our run of Jukt Space!

That was… until the demon ship arrived!

That cursed Terran dreadnought showed up and its Captain let us know that they’d brokered an amnesty with the Jukt government… our choice was to renounce our piracy and accept ‘societal rehabilitation’ or face the deathworlders’ wrath.

It didn’t take many of my ships trying their luck with the latter before the overwhelming majority of those remaining opted for surrender…

I was left with only seven ships when all was said and done.

So weakened, we had no choice but to disband our company and disperse to parts of space it’s easier to keep a lower profile in.

Who knows how many of the other six have been brought in and how many would still answer the call if I gave it!

Damn those Terrans to the 144 HELLS!!!

I thought I’d seen the last of them when I deserted the navy, [3 decades] ago!

A quarter of a lifetime building up my piratical enterprise in my home territory and, in a matter of weeks, those apes show up to ruin my life again!

But… we Jukt are nothing if not resilient…

We’ve just got to build back our strength, even if it takes another [century], and, this time, do it in a way that won’t bring the forces of the Hells down on us!

Step 1; find some prey…

Prey like the ship I’m looking at now…

Hanging in space, caught in the interdiction field we set [2 months] ago.

It looks like a juicy prize!

More than lucrative enough to make all that time waiting worth it!

I lift my knuckles from the ground and extend a bulky left arm to my [Coms Officer], mate and (formerly) pirate queen.

“Hail them, Kuthmagj…” I order, keeping my voice level and disguising the glee I’m feeling at this boon.

“Hailing now, Sir.” she answers, collectedly, as her fists impact the durable Jukt console only lightly enough to input the commands.

I spend a few moments preparing for the onslaught of weeping and pleading that will surely come when the hail is answered.

I smirk as I imagine the relief that will come when I let them know all that we’re interested in is their valuables!

So long as they comply, we’ll leave them food and fuel enough to get back to civilisation and claim a loss on their insurance.

After all, every crewman and crewwoman that we need to slaughter is one who can’t sail on future missions.

Every ship whose crew starve to death out in the void is one that won’t be raided again!

It doesn’t make financial sense to slaughter wantonly!

Even selling ships isn’t as lucrative as leaving them be, to go home, recover their losses and remain potential targets for the future… given the shitty prices you get when all your buyers know you’re a pirate, that is!

Early on in my time in this line of work, I learned that everything goes much smoother when we make sure they know that we don’t want to hurt them… but we’re more than prepared to!

The call is answered and I’m greeted by the mutilated avian face of a R’qali with two bionic eyes on the left side of her head.

She doesn’t look as panicked and fearful as I would have liked.

“Greeti-” I start but she cuts me off.

“Sir, I must warn you that you have chosen rather an inopportune target for your piratical venture.” she speaks with remarkable sangfroid, given the circumstances.

I give a deep, humourless laugh and ask “*Huhuhuh*…And what makes you say that, may I ask, Ma’am?”

“We are carrying very little of any readily traded upon value… but what we are carrying is nearly 100 deathworlders… well over a hundred when including their domestic animals who (with but one piscivorous exception) all lean quite heavily to the carnivorous in their diet… I think you and your subordinates will have a bad time if you attempt to board us!”

Laughing genuinely this time, I answer “*HAHAHAHAHAHA*… That’s a bold bluff, R’qali!… You really expect us to believe you’re carrying so many Terrans? So far from their sector of the galaxy? What makes you think…!?”

“You can believe what you wish, Sir…” answers the woman, with her species’ typical haughty arrogance “…I just wish to give you some idea of who you will be dealing with if you don’t unspike us and allow us to go on our way. How you choose to act on that information is up to you… Just don’t complain that you weren’t warned!”

My mirth is replaced by anger at the woman’s steadfast commitment to this pathetic little pretence of hers.

“Well then, allow me to return the favour by giving you some idea of who you’re dealing with, birdbrain!… I am the once and future pirate king, Lufdorg Thvornifex!… I will not be disrespected… I am not a weakling, I am not a coward and I am NOT a FOOL!!!”

I slam my fist into the floor in front of my chair to emphasise the point.

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It meets the ground with a powerful *BOOM*!

I then point the forefinger of that (now slightly aching) hand at the woman and continue “Now, aboard this ship are 23 Class 7s, 145 Class 8s and 1…” I pause for effect “…Class 9!… And, unlike your hundred Terrans, my crew actually exist(!)”

The woman does not respond, simply raising a browtuft over her prosthetics, so I continue.

“Now, let me tell you what’s going to happen; In [45mins], we are going to board your vessel, preferably by one of the docking ports but we’re equally willing to come via the proboscis if you aren’t willing to be accommodating! You are going to use the interim to gather up everything on that ship that might have even the tiniest value and have it ready to transfer to us! We are then going to search the rest of the ship for anything you’ve tried to hide!… If no one does anything stupid, like try to fight us, hide things from us or in any other way try to even slightly inconvenience us, I might be willing to permit you to leave with all your heads intact and attached, though, I have to say, your phantom Terrans have put me in such a foul mood that I think you’ll need to be a little extra accommodating to make up for it!… Stupid lie, really!” I pull my tail from behind myself and hold it in my fist, waggling it at her “If you’d ever even been in the same room as a Terran, I’d eat my tai-”

“Sorry I’m late, Cap!” interrupts a voice from the R’qali’s side of the call “Had to get here from the gym...”

The infuriating woman smirks at me briefly before addressing the speaker “Actually Victor, I believe you’re right on time(!) Would you take over the call with ‘once and future pirate king’ Thvornifex for me? He seems to have a little trouble understanding our situation aboard(!)”

The R’qali dismounts her perch which retracts into the floor as a seat, with arms and a back, rises in its place.

Appearing from the left side of the shot is a midriff and the bottom of a pair of pale skinned, sweaty, muscular arms that end in pentadactyl hands and turn my insides cold!

The bare armed man sits, revealing a sweaty face, a sweaty pair of broad shoulders, a head of long, coppery hair and a burning pair of bright green, forward facing eyes…

“I-” I start, not sure how I’m going to continue.

“Don’t fuckin’ speak, just fuckin’ listen!” he says, silencing me “My name is Chief Security Specialist Victor ‘Cuddles’ Taylor and I’m head of security aboard this ship… Now, any other day, I’d just extract a promise that you ain’t gonna kill anyone and you ain’t gonna kidnap anyone and then I’d be negotiating the transfer of all the ship's valuables to you… piracy is just a business, afterall… A business that relies exclusively on ‘servicin’’ those that don’t wanna be ‘serviced’ but a business nonetheless… Ain’t no amounta financial loss that’s worth riskin’ bloodshed over… But today is not ‘any other day’… Today is today and, due to circumstances I’m unable to relay to you, I can’t trust you to come aboard this ship right now… Full stop… Nonnegotiable!… Now, you might be thinkin’ ‘Oh! They got a Terran and he looks a bit scary… but they’ve just got the one! We can take him if we overwhelm him with numbers!’ right now but, I promise you; I ain’t the only Terran on board! I ain’t the scariest person on board! We have numbers too and you ain’t gonna overwhelm us!… This is your one and only warnin’… let us go or I can’t guarantee your safety! Bright Plume out!”

With that, the coldly furious Terran cuts the call, leaving me in stunned silence.

“…Sir?” asks my mate's voice.

“I’m… sorry, Kuthmagj?” I say, dazed.

“Your orders, Sir?” she repeats.

---Woyket’s perspective---

“And… then what happened, Mr Thvornifex?” I ask the enormous Jukt sitting opposite me, the wrists of his long, thick, blue skinned arms, fetlocks of his short, thin, clawed, digitigrade legs and end of his sturdy tail all chained to the floor, his entire body trembling as his two teal eyes dart back and forth over his round snout, flanked by two tusks with squashy stoppers on their points.

“I-I-I-I g-gave the order to b-b-board them…” he shivers.

“And, I take it from where you’re sitting, that didn’t go well?” I ask with a querying splay of my right hand’s fingertrotters.

“It d-d-didn’t… th-they… had T-T-Terrans… lllless than they said b-but mmmore than I th-thought!”

“I can see it was quite traumatic for you…”

“B-but…!” the massive Class 8 man suddenly fixes me with a desperate and very unnerving stare “…that wasn’t all! Th-they had five arthropods… b-b-black and r-red ex-xoskeletons! Th-they were ssso strong!”

“Ah, there were Vk’unhz aboard, yes.” I oink in confirmation, thinking about the one I saw coming off that ship when the pirates were handed over.

“Nnnnnno! Not V-V-Vk’unhz! I knnnnow them! G-got one on mmmy ssship! Vk’unhz are m-m-m-maxillip-p-pedal!… Th-these were arachn-n-noid… and m-m-much s-s-stronger!” he stammers in objection.

I smile and reassure him “The Vk’unhz actually have a few different species from their cradle that they’ve bred as hosts… these must just be another variant…”

He doesn’t seem to be listening as he continues “Th-then there w-w-were the green ch-children! S-so many!”

“I’m sorry?” I ask, raising an eyebrow quizzically “Green children?”

“Mmm! MMM!!!” he confirms, manically.

I don’t recognise that description as matching any of those I saw.

“Would you describe them for me, Mr Thvornifex?” I ask, pulling my holo towards me and opening the species identifier app.

“S-s-small… green… t-tetrapods… tails… h-humanoid… b-b-bipedal… digitigrade… fast!”

“Green fur or skin?” I clarify.

“B-both… ffffur only on th-their hhhheads and the t-tips of their t-t-tails…”

“How small exactly?”

“[M-metre]… less…”

Five species come up that match what he described but… the highest Class among them is a 6! Seems unlikely that they’d pose any credible threat to a Jukt!

Just to be sure, I flip the selection to the table top between us and ask “One of these?”

He glances at them briefly before, adamantly, answering “N-no! N-n-n-none of them!”

Hmmm…

---later---

“Yes, I understand your position, Officer… unfortunately, I’m simply not able to comply…” the purple eyed Terran woman standing between me and her ship’s cargo bay smiles down at me, apologetically “…There is a reason that diplomatic immunity exists and, I’m afraid, what your asking for is beyond my prerogative to give you.”

“Even anonymised?” I oink in query “Just a list of all the species aboard? No names?”

She waggles her head from side to side, causing that silver streak in her hair to fall, artfully, across her face.

“Even just that much is too much, I’m afraid Ma’am… *pfff*” she answers, blasting away the offending strand by aiming a precise jet of air from her mouth to remove it from her vision.

I’m sure that was nothing at all impressive, as far as she was concerned!

I give a resigned snort, scrunching my rostral plate as I respond “Alright then, Ma’am… Apologies for delaying your departure… and thank you for taking the former pirate king’s ship out of commission!”

“You are quite welcome, Officer Woyket…” she smiles with ease “…thank you for taking them off our hands… I assume the Jukt authorities will be on the way to collect them?… Do you know if they’ll have the option to join the amnesty programme?”

“Yes to the former. I don’t know about the latter… I think that deal was only open to… the…” I trail off, distracted by a patch of green forehead and the tip of a pointy ear that I’m able to see bobbing along behind a line of [80cm] tall crates behind her.

The Terran follows my gaze and her entire body goes stiff as she immediately throws herself between me and what I’m now completely unable to look far enough around her to see anymore.

Smiling and speaking rapidly as she begins walking towards me (not actually putting hands on me but insistently enough that I start to reflexively back away down the clear polymer ramp) she says “Oh,well!Ishouldn’tkeepyou!I’msureyou’vegotlotsofadministrationtotakecareofandI’dhatetobeahassle!Thanksagainforallyourhelp,Officer!It’s…”

She continues that way as I mostly turn my body to start walking away so I don’t fall backwards and tumble all the way down, not leaving me any space to interject.

Before I know it, my feet are back on the soil of my planet and the ramp is rising with the Terran woman still on it, running back aboard.