Darkness.
Nothing but darkness.
They say that the absence of light is also the absence of color itself, but even this darkness has a color it could call its own:
Black.
Where am I?
I'm supposed to be unconscious the last time I remember. So, going by that logic, is this a dream?
Although there are some dreams that nothing happens at all, this was somewhat different.
For one, it seemed that I still had a body since I could see my body when I looked down and feel it when I touch myself. My face, hands, torso, and legs were still there.
"What?"
Somehow, I could talk too.
Seriously, where am I?
I tried looking around, but only to find more darkness -
No.
When I looked in the direction behind me, I could see a glimmer of light. It was so small you could mistake it as a tiny grain in the sand, but something like that would be visible in a place like this.
Well, it's either that or I'll be going nowhere, so I followed the light.
And by follow, I meant walked towards it. Wherever I was, it had a hard floor for me to walk in.
Because of my sickness, I was bound to my wheelchair to travel around. Sometimes, when I get to see kids playing in the playground, running around like there wasn't any stop sign showing the speed limit humans could reach in that area, I couldn't help but feel a tint of jealousy.
For years I've always wanted to walk.
To run.
To finally get rid of the curse that was plaguing my body that prevents me from doing so.
So, since this was my first time (in almost forever) walking, I was tempted to abandon my initial goal of reaching the light and jump around and run like an idiot, but my legs were still weak, preventing me from doing such a thing. All I could do for now was small steps.
As I was approaching it, the light grew brighter and brighter, making me finally see that I was still wearing my hospital gown, but there were no tubes attached to me or anything.
Hmm.
I see.
I'm in a dream.
I don't have any other explanation for this.
But, if I was dreaming, then why am I conscious right now?
Don't they say that when you find out you're in a dream, you immediately wake up? If so, then why am I lucid?
There are too many things I don't understand in this situation. If I was going to find answers, then my best bet at the moment was the light that I was heading towards right now.
As I went closer, the light seemed to grow bigger, until eventually, it filled up space. Looking back at the place I came from, a black spot was visible.
I guess that I'm inside that white dot I saw a while ago then? But there was nothing here. I tried looking around, but I couldn't see anything noteworthy.
It was just -
"Oh, poor child."
"......?!"
An unexpected voice interrupted my thoughts, making my heart leap from my chest. Well, it didn't, but that's what I felt.
I looked around the place again, but again, nothing was there.
Was I hallucinating? Maybe because I was feeling lonely that I unconsciously made a voice, only to ease my anxiety? After all, the possibility of this being a dream is still substantial.
"Do not be afraid, my child. You are in safe hands."
No, that's not it. The soft, gentle feminine voice felt real.
Someone is here, with me, or watching me.
"Oh, could you not see me? My apologies. It is incredibly rude of me to converse with you without you seeing me. Please, turn around."
I turned around and saw her.
The first thing I've noticed is her immense aura, so big that it was impossible to ignore. She looked to be around her mid 20's despite being a few inches taller than me, yet her body proportions would make any girl her age jealous. She had long, green hair, a well-developed chest, white, porcelain skin, a pretty face with golden eyes, slim arms, a curvy waistline, and plump thighs. She was wearing a white, frilly dress, decorated with green flowers all around.
She was captivating. It was hard for me to take my eyes off her.
"Now then, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Hygieia, the goddess of health."
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"Ah. T-Then, my name is - " Just as I was about to introduce myself, Hygieia stretched out her finger and placed it on my mouth.
"No need. I already know who you are, Hisami Enatsu."
"Eh?"
How did she know my name?
I did not tell her beforehand, and even if she was watching me ever since I got to this place, I never once uttered my name out loud.
Seeing my confusion, Hygieia gave a light chuckle.
"Of course I would know who you are, Hisami. A seventeen-year-old high school girl from Japan with one of the best grades among your batchmates, yet unlike most high schoolers, you're confined to a moving chair due to your illness. You have three, wonderful friends who all love you equally, staying by your side, until..."
"Until?"
Hygieia seemed to be hesitating, turning her head sideways to avoid my questioning gaze.
"...Perhaps I should show you myself. Come, my child, and take my hand," she said as she stretched out her hand, to which I accepted by holding it.
While holding hands, she took me towards the brighter part of the room. I didn't know where she was taking me, since all I could see forward was light, but after a few minutes(?) of walking, I finally saw it.
It was a large, transparent sphere, seemingly floating in the air.
We stood in front of the sphere. Hygieia then closed her eyes and stretched out her arms. Instantly, it glowed, and an image was slowly starting to appear on its surface.
At first, it was impossible to see because it was blurry, but slowly the resolution got better until familiar faces appeared on the screen.
".....!"
It was Kaede, Aoi, and Chisa, all wearing black clothing. They were sitting in a room with people that I fully recognized.
My homeroom teacher, a few of my classmates, two of my uncles and cousins, the annoying neighbor next door who's leafblower never failed to wake me up in the morning, and my parents, who were crying. They all had a frown on their faces, and like my friends, they were wearing black too.
What's with the depressing atmosphere? And why is mom bawling her eyes out, leaning against dad?
It seemed like her crying filled the room since Chisa looked over her and saw her cry. She came over to her and hugged her from behind, comforting her, which was a Chisa-like thing to do.
"What's going on?" I couldn't help but ask out loud. "Why are they all sad?"
Yet Hygieia didn't answer my question. She just shook her head and motioned me to look again.
And there I saw it.
Right at the north side of the room was a vase, with my picture next to it. Various flowers were surrounding the table, with ribbons attached to it that bore sentences. One of them read, "From Matsuri High School. In loving memory of Hisami Enatsu."
"......."
It was painstakingly obvious now. There's absolutely no way I could deny it.
I died.
I didn't survive the operation.
The scene that I was currently looking at was my funeral. If so, then the vase on the table that was next to my picture is my ashes.
I remember telling mom that, if by any chance I didn't make it back alive to them, I do not want them to be crying over my dead body and instead asked them to cremate me. It was supposedly a joke since at that time I was being a bit too overconfident that I was going to survive.
But I didn't.
At least mom still remembered my stupid and insensitive joke. And speaking of mom, she was still sobbing, despite being comforted by Chisa.
It makes me sad.
Seeing them for the last time, knowing that I would never spend my time and company with them made me a bit sad.
No. A bit sad is an understatement.
"Hisami? Are you alright?"
Hygieia asked me. It was the same question Kaede asked me that day, back in the tea shop.
The tea shop that the four of us used to hang out together.
"N-No, I'm fine..." I said, but in reality, I wasn't.
My heart was troubled, filled with thoughts and emotions. Tears were rolling down my cheeks, and despite my attempts to wipe them away, they wouldn't stop flowing. Even if I closed my eyes, the dam won't seal.
"I can't, I just can't..." I finally told Hygieia while looking at the moving picture before me. She may be the goddess of health, but I needed to vent out my emotions to someone. "I promised them I would survive. I promised them that I would walk out of the hospital healthy and alive and that we were to go on more dates and adventures together, yet all I gave them is sadness."
I turned my face to Hygieia. I didn't care if she saw me crying.
"I want to live. Ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to live long and enjoy the days that I am alive. To be happy, surrounded by my friends and family, and everyone I cared about. I want to buy and live in a mansion. I want to open up my own mini restaurant, as a part-time business. I wanted to try ice skating, ever since I saw the olympiads do it on TV. There were so many things that I wanted to do once in my life, so why? Why was my time alive so short? What did I do to deserve this? Why does life have to be unfair?!"
I was practically screaming at Hygieia at this point. It was incredibly rude of me to do so in front of someone like her, yet I didn't care.
"Just... Why..."
I collapsed on the floor, still unable to stop crying.
I don't know how much time passed, but this was the longest time I wept.
My head was spinning, making it feel like my brain was sailing on rough seas.
No words could describe the grief, the pain of my heart being torn apart by this harsh reality.
Then, I felt something envelop me. It was a similar feeling that I felt back in that cafe.
The warmth of an embrace.
"It's okay, my child..." the goddess said to me, gently stroking my hair. "Life isn't always fair. Some things happen that are in our control, and some that are not. So please, don't cry."
Hygieia helped me get off the ground. I tried wiping away my tears, but there was nothing I could do with my red face.
"The only thing we could do is to move forward, and not dwell on the past. I don't want to see you in such a pitiful state, my child, so how about this," she said to me as she held out the palm of her hand. "I'll give you another chance to live your life."
"Huh?" I looked straight at her, dumbfounded by what she said. "What do you mean by another chance?"
"Another chance to be alive."
In other words, a reincarnation.
Back in Japan, there were lots of stories that involved this kind of plot. Although, I've read only a few of them.
"Since your life was cut abruptly short, I'll be giving you a bonus as well."
"Bonus?"
"Yes. The gift of immortality," as she said this, the hand of the goddess started to glow. "Here is the offer that I am proposing. I will be giving you a second chance to live a new life, with the perks of a long life, yet you will be transported to another world."
"So I won't be going back to earth?"
"I'm terribly sorry. If I could, I would've let you live a new life on earth, but when a person dies there, they stay dead in that world forever. I can only transport you into other worlds."
"Does that mean I can never meet my friends again?" I asked her.
She seemed to hesitate for a moment before replying, "No. There is no way for you to meet them on earth."
"........"
Hygieia was offering me another chance to live.
But, in exchange, I could never go back to Japan. I could never go back to my family and my friends.
In the end, I don't think there is anything I could do to change it.
I'll be leaving them behind.
However, this gives me a new chance.
A new chance to make new friends. A new chance to have a new family. A chance to do new things, now that I was free of the curse that was attached to me that limited my actions.
Although I'll dearly be missing my best friends, in this new world I might meet not only new but potentially better people.
"If I may ask one question," I raised a finger. "Will I be healthy in this new life?"
"Of course."
That is all I needed to hear.
"Alright. I've decided," I said as I looked Hygieia in the eyes. "I want to live again. Please, Hygieia, reincarnate me." I even bowed in front of her to show her my seriousness.
I'll use this chance to live a better life and to do everything that I've always wanted to do.
Hygieia replied with a smile on her face.
"Very well. I, Hygieia, goddess of health, upon my power grant Hisami Enatsu the gift of a long life. I wish you the best of luck with your new life!"
As she said that, her hand glowed a silver light, before quickly surrounding the room until it was the last thing I saw.