“Why won’t you just tell me?” Xaxac asked, staring up at the moon burning in the firmament from his position of safety on the beach.

“Because I can’t,” Lapus shrugged, “I’m trying. But you don’t understand.”

“Who are you?” Xaxac asked.

“I don’t know…” Lapus sighed, “I don’t even know anymore. I don’t… I don’t know who I am or even… what I want. I don’t even want to go home anymore. I just want… I don’t even know. If I told him I knew he was right, do you think he would believe me?”

“Do you know Takashito?” Xaxac asked, “Was I supposed to tell him somethin?”

“Who?” Lapus asked.

“Am I Quizlivan? Alex said souls could be reborn. Is that what you’re tryin to tell me?” Xac asked with increasing desperation.

“No,” Lapus laughed, then his face changed, scrunched up in thought, “Actually… I shouldn’t say that with such certainty. I don’t know. Maybe? I’ve never thought about an afterlife. But that wasn’t what I was trying to tell you. I just thought you would find it interesting. I only know what I read, well, what they read. And what I’ve seen. But my visions aren’t always right. I might be lying to you.”

“Visions?” Xaxac asked.

“I see things that are, things that were, things that may be,” Lapus said, “I run strings of probability. They say that if one gets all the data, entire planets can be understood and predicted, the way an organism can be understood and predicted. You can detect problems that way. Preventative care. But you have to have all the data. I don’t. I thought I did but… I was wrong. So is that even a vision? Or is that just a guess? Just a thought?”

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Xaxac admitted, “I just wanna know what folks want from me.”

“I want you to find me,” Lapus explained.

“Where are you?”

“I don’t know,” Lapus said, “On Xren, somewhere. I’m still on Xren. I’ve been on Xren a long time. I’ve been here longer than Morgan but he understood so much faster. Maybe because he’s from here, in a sense. I don’t know how he feels about that.”

“Are you a demon?” Xaxac asked.

“I don’t know what I am,” Lapus sighed, “You never ask this many questions.”

“Stuff feels weird,” Xac admitted, “I don’t… don’t usually feel like this. I think I might be losin my mind. I’m real worried I’m losin my mind. Won’t nobody answer nothin and they just go on not answerin and I feel like if I just knew one thing, anything, for real, for certain, I could hold onto that and then I’d be ok. But I don’t know nothin, and won’t nobody tell me nothin. Just tell me somethin. Just tell me one truth.”

Lapus reached into the ether and pulled out a sparkling silver cup inset with jewels and stared at it for a moment, twisting it in his grip, then offered it to Xaxac.

“This is yours,” Lapus said, “that’s the truth. I want you to have it. I think someone lied to me, Xaxac, and think that fool of a farm boy gave me the truth when he broke it. I don’t think breaking it would be a bad thing… but it hurt, so I’m not sure. I don’t know who to believe. What if it frees me? What if it kills me? Do you think I can die?”

“Anything what lives can die,” Xaxac said with great practicality.

“I don’t know if they’re alive, the way you think about it,” Morgani explained with equal practicality, staring out at the sea. Lapus was gone, and apparently none of the rest of the tribe had come to see him off. The snow drifted softly from the moonless sky, and Quizlivan cuddled into Morgani’s side.

“What’s down there?” Quizlivan asked, “Why do you feel like you have to go down there?”

“A long time ago…” Morgani wrapped an arm around him, and Quizlivan wished his flesh were warmer, like a human, “I… I crashed here, in the moon. That’s what destroyed the world. I’ve been running so long. But if I want to make another one, I need the sterilite. As far as I know, that’s the only way to trap them.”

“Don’t trap them,” Quizlivan said as if he had been saying it, over and over, and couldn’t get Morgani to listen, “Kill them! You don’t understand- if you trap somebody they’ll eventually get out! And they’re just gonna be mad! We have to kill this thing that’s chasing you. We have to destroy it!”

“Thesis can’t be killed,” Morgani argued.

“Not with that attitude!” Quizlivan snapped, “But Morgani, look at me! I’m tiny! All humans are tiny, but even for a human, look how small and insignificant I am! But you watched us kill a dragon! We lived through the famine, we live through the cold, and we live through anything that tries to kill us! You’re thinking like a monster! Think like a human! Alone you’re nothing, but as a swarm we can kill anything that lives! If sterilite hurts these things, don’t build a prison!” He moved quickly, and reached into the bag on Morgani’s hip.

“Don’t do that!” Morgani scolded, “You don’t know how it works!”

But Quizlivan pulled out the glistening, silver-green sword Morgani had once stuck inside.

“Build a weapon!” Quizlivan demanded.

“Don’t touch that!” Morgani warned, but he was too late. A stream of green flowed from the veins in Quizlivan’s hand where he gripped the hilt, and moved rapidly up his arm. “Drop it!”

Quizlivan dropped the sword onto the sand and stared at the glowing green lines moving up his arm.

“Shut up!” Morgani shouted, as if he was talking to the sword, and whatever was in Quizlivan’s blood hurt as it moved, as if he had somehow gotten the stinging nettles that used to grow before the cold inside of him.

“It hurts!” he begged.

“I’m sorry,” Morgani said, scrambling in his bag until he wrapped his hand around something, “It’ll be ok! I promise! It’s in your blood! I thought… it’s sterlite... it shouldn’t be able to cast! Is it because I left the facing uncovered? But it’s… it should be so weak…”

“Am I gonna die?” Quizlivan asked as he felt and watched whatever the green pain was spreading up his arm, toward his heart.

“No,” Morgani promised, and whatever he clutched in his hand began to glow with a soft, red light, “I’m going to burn it away. It’ll hurt. I’m sorry.”

Quizlivan felt the fire Morgani had warned of.

It heated inside of him, burned so badly it hurt worse than the poison, but the green glow in his veins dimmed, faded, and became nothing.

“Quizzy, I’m sorry,” Morgani said as he pulled away, “For the pain, the snow, the death, for everything… I’m so sorry. To all of you. I… I was trying to-”

But he could not finish, because Quizlivan had thrown both his arms around his neck and leapt up to pull him into a kiss.

He pulled away only when he would have to break it or die, and Morgani stared down at him with those dark eyes, so difficult to read.

“That was just… cool,” Quizlivan said, “I didn’t know you could… heal the sick.”

“I mean… that was magic,” Morgani said, “You can neutralize magic. Um… that was… ok… why did you… is that a bonding… are we sharing germs? Is it an inoculation thing? Because I don’t think I need it.”

“What’s a germ?” Quizlivan asked.

“Ok so not a… why did you… lick the inside of my mouth? Is that a bonding thing? A mating thing?”

“Why did I kiss you?” Quizlivan giggled, “Yeah, Morgan, it’s a ‘bonding thing’. You saved me.”

“I didn’t do anything you couldn’t do,” Morgani told him as if he still did not understand the significance, “I can show you how to do it yourself, if you want. You have a beating heart, the energy flows around and inside you, like any living thing.”

He opened his hand to reveal a small, red crystal.

“Neat,” Quizlivan said.

“But first,” Morgani said as he pulled back and used his other hand to pick up the sword and stick it back in his bag before he stood back to his full height and took one of Quizlivan’s hands in his own, “Will you… walk me through that again? That bonding exercise?”

“Sure,” Quizlivan giggled, wrapped his arms around his neck and added, “but bend down. You’re so tall. Or pick me up. Help a guy out.”

Morgani stuck the crystal back into his bag, bent down, and picked Quizlivan up by the hips.

“Like that?”

“Perfect,” Quizlivan smiled, cradled Morgani’s face in both hands, and pulled him in for a ‘bonding exercise’.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

Xaxac awoke and stared at the painting of Morgani Magnus Alex had made for him, sitting on his nightstand.

The days passed in a series of routines as Xaxac went through practiced motions, learned what pressure points to hit, and how to stretch himself into strange positions that Takashito led him through. He tried not to reflect on how easily he fell into this new routine, on how easily he had fallen into his old routine when he had first come to the big house, and as the nights passed, he tried not to think of his old routines, until they would force themselves upon him.

Instead, he thought of beaches. He thought of beaches like the one in his dreams, of the sea he had never seen except in his dreams, of a land across the sea intricately tied to it, where humans were not slaves, but people like elves. He had difficulty imagining such a place, but he tried with all his heart, to see Alley, holding a baby that looked like Jimmy as she walked along the beach. He tried to see his parents with her, sitting on the sand under the stars, eating freshly caught fish grilled over an open campfire, wearing robes like the one Alex had gotten on the water continent, like the one Xaxac had gotten in intimidation of it.

He tried to imagine Alley’s child heading off to school as Lorsan did, using all the description Lorsan had provided him with, but Xaxac had never been inside a school, and found it difficult. Yet still, he tried.

He found himself lost in these thoughts instead of preoccupied with the moons as he knelt on the floor of the sitting room.

“I thought,” Agalon said cheerfully, “That this time, you been doin so good darlin, we could try it without the chains.”

Xaxac nodded.

He had used those chains as a crutch for too long. They didn’t actually do anything. He had gotten out of them several times.

In his dreams the sea smelled like salt and uncooked fish.

“You alright, darlin?” Agalon asked.

“Is Ms. Ara and Mr. Takashito gonna watch me shift?” Xaxac asked.

“Ara ain’t wantin to do that,” Agalon huffed, “I reckon she got scared off. I don’t know why. I sent Lee after Taka, but he does seem like he’s takin his time, don’t he?”

Xaxac nodded and wondered if all schools made people who were bad do push ups, or only military schools.

Agalon glanced out the window and snarled.

“I’m gonna run and see what’s takin him so long,” he said, “I… reckon I got time.”

“It’s ok, Aggie,” Xac smiled up at him, “I’m gonna get these clothes off. I promise I’ll try my best to be good. I swear.”

“Last time you just slept,” Agalon agreed, bent at the waist, and kissed Xac on the forehead, then stood to make his way to the door. He opened it, but did not step out, because coincidentally, Lee and Takashito must have been on the other side, because Xaxac heard Takashito speaking in a language he did not understand.

“No,” Mrs OfAgalon answered him, “We do not do that here. We speak common.”

“It is not ‘common’,” Takashito said, “It is Urillian. I am sorry, I did not mean to offend, I only noticed… I thought… I should not make assumptions. I am sorry. Not based on the way someone looks. I am sorry.”

“She let you outta her sight?” Agalon asked.

“Ms. Ara will not be joining us,” Lee said as if in response, and Xaxac saw that when Takashito stepped into the room, he looked genuinely sad and remorseful.

“I think I have offended that lady,” he said instead of answering Agalon’s question.

“Nancy?” Agalon asked, “Yeah, that’s easy done. She’ll be alright.”

“Her name is Nancy?” Takashito asked.

“Yeah, had to give her a name anybody could pronounce. I can’t remember what the last one was,” Agalon said as if the concept annoyed him. “My friend Ky got her for me. She does a good job but she’s got… a way about her. Don’t let her get to you.”

Xaxac felt very stupid, because he had never realized that the way Takashito talked was almost exactly the way Nancy talked. He tried to blame this on the fact that Takashito was so much nicer, but as soon as he let this thought flow into his mind, others accompanied it. Alex had said that Mrs OfAgalon had wanted to sound, ‘well traveled’, and Xaxac himself had always thought that she looked just a little different from the other humans, a little taller, a little stouter. Was she from the water continent? Had she been bought in?

“She has not gotten to me,” Takashito said as if the concept was ridiculous, “One should feel shame when they have done something shameful, your grace.”

“How are ya feelin?” Lee asked Xac.

“I dunno,” Xac shrugged and went back to undressing, “Weird. It’s… real weird… ever since that time at the fight I just… ain’t scared no more? I just… I don’t know. I guess that scared the hell out of me and compared to that a normal shift ain’t nothin. I just don’t… feel like I used to.”

“Maybe you’re growin up,” Lee suggested, and Xaxac thought this more mundane suggestion was to get his mind off what had happened at the fight. Lee often did not seem keen to discuss it.

“Maybe,” Xac shrugged and folded his shirt over the back of the chair.

“Xaxac?” Takashito asked, “Are you alright? Does it hurt? Do you need help?”

“I reckon it hurts, on account’a folks say I scream like a spirit, but I don’t never remember it so I ain’t exactly worried about it,” Xaxac shrugged, slid off his pants and folded them, followed swiftly by his undershorts.

“Everything’s perfect, darlin,” Agalon assured him as he strode towards him, then stood over him, scratching his scalp the way Xaxac liked, “We got a plate a spinach for you, a bottle a’ wine, everything is gonna be perfect. Be my good little bunny.”

“Lee,” Takashito whispered and motioned for him, “Come here a moment. May I ask… is the end goal of this to… have… intercourse… with the monster?”

“Thanks, sir,” Lee sighed, “I got other stuff to do tonight but now that’s gonna be all I’m even gonna be able to think about so… thanks. Thanks for that. I sure coulda died happy without that image, but here we are. I’m gonna go pour the wine. I’m just gonna… you ain’t my master, so I am walkin out of this conversation.”

“I am on a social roll tonight,” Takashito sighed and leaned against the back of the couch.

Xaxac snuggled into the touch until he felt the familiar sensation of his world disappearing.

Then he bent into himself and shrieked with the pain of his body contorting against his will.

“Is this normal?” Takashito asked, staring at Agalon in horror, “You are doing nothing! We should be doing something! I am sure of it! Xaxac? Xaxac are you alright!?”

“He’s fine!” Agalon snarled and knelt to stroke the creature’s fur as the boy became a rabbit, earning himself a shot of pain from the joints of his spine, “Don’t freak out! That scares him! Rabbits are skittish. You gotta be real calm.”

“I am calm,” Takashito said, “It just… looks painful.”

The creature that was not a boy and was not a rabbit sat up on its haunches and sniffed the air.

“That’s my adorable Honey Bunny,” Agalon said as he stood and stared up at the monster, “bend down, darlin, and I’ll scratch behind your ears like you like.”

“Scratch behind…” Takashito asked, “That… that is… he does seem fine.”

“Ain’t no rules against it,” Agalon said, “not a damn rule against it.”

Xaxac fell to all fours and snuggled into Agalon, then flopped out onto the floor, spreading out all four limbs and apparently enjoying himself resting against the hardwood.

“So here’s what I need from you,” Agalon continued as he winced when he knelt again to stoke Xaxac’s fur, “he did this before, without the moons. I want him to do it at Satra. I want him to shift, in front of a crowd, in a cage, at the finals. In this form he ripped my best fighter apart. I went in debt over it. But if folks see this? I won’t never be in debt again. It’ll all be autographs and endorsements and magazine ads. People will pay a fortune to stand next to him to touch him. This is a real shifter. This is a license to mint gold.”

“He cannot be older than fifteen,” Takashito said, apparently in a moment of idiocy, “He is not a fighter. He is just a little boy. If… if this child becomes a monster at Satra… Your grace, what if he gets out? There is a crowd. This is a huge event, is it not? Does not… I do not know much about your culture, but is that not the kind of thing that attracts royalty? That does not seem safe…”

“He’s perfectly safe,” Agalon said as if those concerns were ridiculous, “Come here, touch him.”

Lee made a noncommittal humming sound, and Takashito hesitated almost as soon as he began to move.

“But did you not just say he ‘ripped up’ a fighter?”

“We survived the Emerald Knight,” Agalon locked eyes with him, “What the hell’s a little rabbit?”

“Does he understand us?” Takashito asked as he took another tentative step forward, “Does he speak? Is it still Xaxac?”

“He says he don’t never remember it,” Agalon shrugged, “But then… he remembered it at Basilglen. So I don’t… rightly… know…”

Takashito stood over the monster and stared down at it. The monster gazed up at him, tilting its head back and forth and sniffing the air. This man reminded it of someone, someone nice.

“Xaxac,” Takashito said, “I will… touch you now. If that is alright.”

The monster darted in a flash, as fast as a jackrabbit, and it was on its hind legs before anyone in the room knew it had moved. It wrapped both heavily clawed hands around Takashito’s neck, let out a shriek, and lifted him into the air.

Something slammed against the door to the sitting room from the hall, and a female voice rang out in the night.

“Duke Agalon?” Ara shouted, “You alright? What’d he do?”

“Xaxac!” Agalon shouted, but Takashito did not seem afraid. He may have been in shock. Was he choking? He was already blue, how was a person supposed to know if he was choking?

Takashito was not afraid, because the beast was not actually holding his throat.

He was holding his collar.

The creature stared at the gem of the collar with its strange large eyes, too far apart and high up on its face and seemed to decide it didn’t like it.

It dug its fingers, so like a human’s, into the collar between the metal and Takashito’s flesh on either side just as the gem inset into it began to glow.

The monster felt a rush, as if a strong wind, strong enough to blow down houses, moved around it, and its blood pressed back with equal force, as if trying to get out of its veins, trying to escape and join the force pressing against it.

Then the collar snapped.

It broke into two parts, at the back and the front, and the tiny crystal went skittering across the room with the force of it.

Takashito fell to the monster’s feet in a heap and took a deep breath as the monster threw both halves in opposite directions.

“Xaxac!” Agalon admonished again.

Takashito brought both hands to his neck and rubbed the flesh there. It was the first time in so long he had not felt the weight of the collar he did not know how to feel. Its absence was more strange than its presence.

“I appreciate it,” he whispered, “But they will only order another one.”

“Duke Agalon?” Ara yelled.

“Shut up!” Agalon snapped, “You’re scaring him!” He walked calmly to the table and picked up the plate of spinach that had been set out there, scooped out a handful and held it towards Xaxac. “Come here, Honey Bunny! Look what Aggie’s got!”

Xaxac turned, sniffed the air, and tilted his head from side to side before he closed the distance between them in one playful hop.

Takashito watched from his position on the floor as Agalon carefully fed leaf after leaf to the monster he surely had to consider a pet.