The stables were mostly deserted by the time they arrived, and had Xaxac been in his right mind, he could have learned a great many things by the absence of so many people. He could probably have put together the fact that the rest of the fighters had gone to watch the match and the soldiers Agalon had hired had gone with them. He could have suspected that the fighters Agalon didn’t own had matches of their own tonight, and were being kept closer to the arena. He could have figured out that the other earth elves had gone to the arena in preparation for their own event, as the owners of the fighters, or to place bets in the booths that he had seen at the horse races, which had still been up and functioning at the arena.
But he didn’t think about any of that, because he was busy giving in to madness and didn’t really think about much of anything. He elected instead to live in a world of sensation, and if rational thought and logic were to be let in at all, it would be on the periphery as something to be dealt with once he had cured the madness. He had felt it enough, now, to recognize it, and he knew what it was and how to cure it, so as they entered the place they were meant to be, he began to wiggle.
“Where are we goin?” he asked, “This place is filthy!”
He giggled and wondered why that appealed to him. He didn’t like filth. He should want to go back to his room, or the bathhouse. Surely that would be better, wouldn’t it?
But his skin was so sensitive it had broken out into goosebumps, and his dick was so hard it was starting to hurt.
“Put me down!” he demanded because he could not stop himself, “Put me down and fuck me! God, damn, that was crazy- god you got- holy hell you got his blood on you- you got blood on my clothes- I gotta get these clothes off I can’t fuckin breath in um.”
“Put the pleasure slave down, god love,” a voice rang out and Xac recognized it and tried to turn around to glare at the vet for interrupting him and standing between him and what he wanted, but he was still thrown over Billy’s shoulder and could not accomplish that goal without breaking his spine.
Billy lowered him to the ground, and Xac giggled in his mania, and ran his hands gently over the bruises that had formed on Billy’s bare torso.
“How are you not doubled over?” he asked.
“Don’t do that,” Billy hissed, “That hurts.”
“Sorry,” Xac said and tried to will himself to stop touching him, but found that he could not.
Wait- he really couldn’t.
He couldn’t control his hands.
He couldn’t stop touching him.
That wasn’t... good.
He should be able to control his body.
He should be able to control his body.
Why couldn’t he control his own hands?
Why did no one care that he couldn’t control his own hands?
No one was stopping him, no one was concerned; surely someone should care, shouldn’t they?
Was he just allowed to do whatever he wanted? Was no one ever going to stop him again? Even Agalon hadn’t stopped him. That was funny. That was one of the funniest things he had ever seen. It wasn’t even that funny. Why was he laughing? Why couldn’t he stop moving his hands? His dick was aching in his pants and the fire in his gut was starting to burn so badly his lower body was tingling.
And he couldn’t stop laughing.
Billy grabbed his wrist and jerked him away.
“I’m serious.” he said, “Stop.”
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Xac repeated, and the word didn’t mean anything, it was a chant, more spiritual than practical, and he wrapped both arms around himself and doubled over a little in an attempt to contain the madness.
Why did no one care that he was going crazy?
Lee was looking at him as if he was worried, but he wasn’t doing anything. Had he seen this before? On someone else?
“You can’t really set ribs…” The vet was saying, but Xaxac wasn’t paying attention.
“Drink this potion,” He continued and Xac felt the fabric at his shoulders rip. When was the last time he had cut his nails? He hadn’t cut his nails since he had come to stay with Agalon. Alex had long nails so Xac thought pleasure slaves were supposed to. He needed to stop digging his fingers into his shoulders. Agalon was going to be mad he had ripped his shirt, and Sakala was a genius who had designed and made it just for him. He respected Sakala. He wanted to feel bad for destroying something she had made.
But he couldn’t.
He couldn’t feel anything except the madness.
“Smoke this pipe of opium and drink plenty of water before you celebrate,” the vet continued, but then he dropped the pipe so that Billy had to scramble to catch it, and his eyes shot open in alarm, “Thesis’s shimmering soul, Shykrr! Don’t move him!”
Billy turned, handed Lee the pipe, and picked Xac up again to toss him back over his shoulder.
“It might be better not to throw him around like that,” Lee said, “he can walk and you got another match tomorrow. Vet’s right, sit down and let that potion kick in and smoke this. I got matches.”
“In a minute,” Billy said, and Xaxac loved how animalistic his voice was, how gravely, how much like a growl, “I’m takin my reward first. Before Wyatt’s match is over and I gotta share.”
Xac cackled as Billy threw him hard onto a pile of hay in the corner of the room. There was a small window, but night had fully fallen and the torches from the carnival only provided scant, flickering light. Lee stood in the doorway, silhouetted, blocking most of the light from the rest of the stable. Xac’s world had narrowed to Billy towering above him, still coated in grass and dirt that clung to the sweat of his body, the sweat Xac could smell and should have been repulsed by. But he wasn’t. It only fueled his madness.
“Fuck me!” Xac demanded, propped himself up on his elbows, spread his legs and clawed at the air between them. It did not occur to him that he should follow Billy’s lead and get undressed, because he had apparently lost his mind completely.
“I like this one,” Billy laughed, knelt between Xac’s open legs, grabbed his pants at the waistband with both hands and jerked in opposite directions so hard a ripping sound filled the room.
“No!” Lee snapped, slammed the pipe down on a shelf, and marched over to them, “Don’t- by Thesis you done broke them all to hell, the Master’s gonna tear his ass. Xac take that travelin cloak off. Take it off NOW. Give it to me.”
He knelt to untie it himself and rage flashed over his eyes when he saw what Xaxac had done to the shirt he wore under it.
“How’d you even do that!?” He snapped.
“Get it and go!” Billy told him, “Get outta here!”
“No,” Lee said, in what Xac would have considered an act of bravery if he didn’t also want him to leave, “I’m going to watch him. You fighters are too rough with the pleasure slaves. Last one had to recover for a week after every gig.”
“I heal!” Xac argued with venom in his voice.
“You’re a child!” Lee screamed, “You shouldn’t be here! Your mama would-”
Something came over his face, as if he had said something he wasn’t supposed to and instantly regretted it.
“My mama told me to be good and do what I was told!” Xac snarled, “Now go away!”
Lee quietly stood, folding the cloak until he could hug it to his chest, and walked back to stand by the shelf where he had set the pipe.
“Fine,” Billy shrugged, “you can watch.”
Xac giggled and arched his back off the floor so Billy could slide his pants down without having to destroy them any further, but Billy did not take advantage of his actions. Instead he pulled again, and Xac felt the seam at the crotch tear completely, front to back, with the sound of the ripping. He loved the sound, and found himself laughing again.
“I ain’t an expert,” Lee said without as much authority as he had believed himself to have a moment earlier, “But don’t you need some kind’a oil or-”
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“I heal!” Xac shrieked, spread his legs, and smiled when Billy grabbed him so hard by the hip he knew he would bruise. They would both be bruised. They would match.
But it hurt.
It was the kind of pain Agalon had always warned him about; he finally understood what he had meant as Billy slammed inside of him, forging a path for himself with no regard for any resistance he was met with. Xac screamed and tried to find something to ground himself to, but there was nothing under him but hay, and he burrowed through it instead of finding any solid foundation.
Pain was supposed to be bad.
But it wasn’t.
He had felt something inside of him tear, and he knew he was bleeding, and he should be upset.
But Billy was so much thicker than Agalon, and he didn’t have to move to hit that spot inside of him; he filled him so completely it ached, stretched, burned, and felt so much better than he thought anything could feel, and those sensations were so incompatible that they mixed together with his madness, and he rode an edge of pleasure and pain that sent bolts of electricity shooting up and down his spine so fierce he could not contain them and began to scream.
“I thought you were a whore,” Billy said, “how are you this tight? Kai can’t have much, can he?”
“Who?” Xaxac asked.
“Thank god you’re pretty,” Billy snarled, “You’re so goddamn stupid. If you couldn’t do this, you couldn’t do anything.”
“God, you’re so big,” Xac said, because he couldn’t follow the conversation, and that bit of information seemed the most important to get across. “Wanna see me cum without touchin my dick?”
“I don’t care what you do,” Billy pulled Xac’s legs up by the thighs and pressed down, bending him in half so that he had to arch his hips off the ground of break his back, and the new angle allowed him to go even deeper, to hit even harder, and Xaxac reached up to dig his nails into his shoulders.
“Flexible,” Billy laughed, “You heal, little rabbit?”
Xac thought he understood the question, but he had forgotten how to produce language himself, and could not answer.
“What if I break your fuckin back?” Billy asked, “You heal from that?”
Normally when Xaxac was in the state he was in, floating in sensation, no one expected him to answer questions, so he was confused when Billy let go of his leg to slap him full across the face.
“Answer me!”
“What?” Xac asked as the pain radiated from his jaw, and once again he did not understand why he liked it. None of his teeth came loose that time.
“How bad do I have to break you?” Billy asked, “Before you can’t heal from it?”
“Oh god,” Xac said, not in response to his question, but because the bolts were getting too close together, and he knew what it meant. And Billy had no intention of slowing down; if anything, he picked up the pace.
“That boy they put against me?” Billy hissed, “He ain’t gettin back up. He ain’t never gonna walk again. I destroyed him. I mighta killed him. I killed folks before, little bunny.”
“I’m gonna cum!” Xac said, because Billy had left a gap in the conversation, as if he wanted to hear some sort of response, and that was the only phrase Xac could remember how to say.
The mania reached a crescendo as he tightened his grip; every muscle in his body spasmed, his ears rang, and he saw white.
Then reality crashed into him, all at once and with great force, and he opened his eyes.
It was dark.
His clothes were torn.
He was lying on itchy, dirty hay.
Billy was still inside of him, but now he wasn’t an immortal, beautiful god who could feel no pain and feared no death.
Now he was a madman, an animal staring down at Xac with an emotion in his eyes that Xac’s human brain could not place, but the bunny inside of him recognized instantly:
That’s a predator, little bunny, and he is going to eat you. Fight, flight, or freeze.
But it was wrong. He was fine. He could heal.
“How bad do I have to break you?” Billy asked again, and Xac felt all the pain he had not registered before as Billy kept up his frantic pace, “How bad do I have to break you to hurt you?”
“I,” Xac panted, “That actually hurts pretty bad right now… that ain’t… great… Can we get some lube or… some-”
He had tried to push himself up onto his elbows, had lowered his legs to the floor as he spoke, but suddenly he could not speak, because he could not breathe.
“Hi!” Alex said chipperly, but Xac could not see him, and did not understand what he said when he spoke, “Wyatt’s match is over, but I done asked if I couldn’t come on, on account’a I thought Xac might-”
His words faded away, as if Xaxac had gone underwater.
The whole world was underwater.
He was underwater, but it was strange. It wasn’t regular water, it was green, and he was standing up, but the water only flowed inside the glass. Was he behind a window?
Billy picked Xac up by the throat and twisted them in a calculated move.
When he slammed Xac’s head into the floor he wanted it to hit wood, not straw.
He didn’t recognize the room on the other side of the glass. It wasn’t a regular room, it was too beautiful, too perfect, like the man standing in it. He had never seen a man so beautiful before, not even Morgani, though this man did look an awfully lot like Morgani.
There was a sickening crack as Xac’s head hit the wood, and Billy asked again, “How bad do I have to break you, before it hurts you?”
“William!” Lee snapped.
He should not be in this water. If he could get out of the water, he would be fine. There was something wrong with the water. He turned his head to the side and saw the others; the rest of the tribe. They were not awake, but he had always been a little manic, a little faster, always been the scout, so that made sense. It was possible the beautiful man did not know he was awake.
The floorboards rattled, and there were splinters mingling with the blood in Xac’s beautiful hair.
He put his hands on the side of the tube and looked down. He was naked, like the rest of them, and this was going to hurt.
He took a deep breath and wondered why he could breathe underwater.
Then kicked as hard as he could.
“You’re hurtin him!” Alex begged, “I’m gonna get the vet!”
The glass cracked, then shattered, and a voice said something in a language he did not understand, but he kept kicking, and the beautiful man turned around as he spilled, like the liquid, from the tube, and stood on shaking, bloody legs.
“Where the hell is Morgani!?” He shouted, “You think you can do whatever you want with us? Because you’re bigger? Because you’re stronger? My name is Quizlivan Brigaddon! And I won’t let you kill my friends!”
Xaxac opened his eyes and saw the blood on the floor, behind him. Why could he see behind him? Everything was much flatter than it should be, but he could see more of it. Hadn’t it been dark before? It didn’t seem as dark anymore.
There was a predator on top of him, and it was trying to kill him, trying to snap his neck so it could kill him.
So Xaxac did what any pinned rabbit would do.
He screamed to alert the rest of the warren, then kicked up with his strong back legs, with claws that were meant to burrow through soil and stone, and he tore through the flesh of the predator easily.
The predator could not scream himself, because he was busy staggering on his knees and trying to scoop up the intestines that spilled out of the wound and put them back inside his body.
Xaxac rolled out of harm’s way and onto his legs, then hopped to put some distance between himself and the predator. He had to tell the rest of the warren. He had to tell-
Alex and Lee.
Alex and Lee stood by the wall, as if they were too afraid to move. But that was ok, because Xac was brave, he could be brave enough for the whole warren if he had to, so he stood tall on his back legs and sniffed the air. There was blood, human blood, and there was more of it in the big room outside. There was urine, some of it from the warren, but much of it from outsiders. Competition? Predators?
Most of it was human.
All of it was male.
There was blood on him, predator blood. The rest of the warren would be scared of it, so he had to clean it off. He hated the taste, but he had to groom or they would be afraid. So he ran his hands over it, scooping as much as he could off of his fur, and began to lick it away. He wished he had water. He would rather have water.
It tasted so bad.
He sniffed the air again.
There was hay. He could eat the hay to get the taste out of his mouth.
But there was a predator on the hay.
But it wasn’t moving.
He crouched and took one tentative hop towards the hay.
The predator did not move.
So he took another, and he was upon it, so he began to eat.
“I literally pissed myself,” Alex whispered frantically, “I… I come to… I thought… the moon’s ain’t full. The moons ain’t full… I can’t move. I can’t move, Lee. Lee, help me. Help me.”
“Stand right there,” Lee demanded, “Don’t let nobody-”
But there were already people in the doorway.
The vet stuck his head inside, and Shyrrik huddled behind him.
“Oh shit,” the vet said.
“I’m goin after Master Agalon,” Lee begged the vet, “Don’t do nothin!”
“Is he dead?” Alex asked, and would have pointed to Billy, had he not been frozen to the spot, but he could be reasonably sure that the vet took his meaning, regardless.
The vet made no response to his inquiry. Instead, the door to the stall slammed shut, and Alex heard a lock click into place.
The monster must have heard it as well, because it turned its head to the door, sat back on its haunches, and sniffed the air.
“Alex,” it asked, and the strange eyes, too big in their sockets, held real intelligence as they focused on him, “We got any water?”