We were all numb from our losses, but we endured. Ultimately, we scattered in all directions, and I never heard from the others again. Us two, we travelled to South Korea, we were Korean, after all. In that land I had feared and hated for all my life, we were eventually welcomed more warmly than I had ever thought possible. I was initially afraid, but I had been told the truth in Japan, the terrible truth that I had long doubted. That we had been the poor ones, that life in the North was in fact one of the worst ones there was... That everything had been a lie of the government, of the officials, just to improve their own lives. And that South Korea didn't harbor scum but people with mostly good, kind hearts. In the end, we found a small place to stay. How deeply, deeply ashamed I am today of the thoughts I once had about the people of South Korea... But at least now, I know better.

I took a job as a seamstress and managed to pull through. You never really knew anything else but this beautiful country, which, while not perfect, never made me worry about hunger again. You grew up as a South Korean, and I believe in your heart, you are exactly that, and I am proud and grateful for it.

I did some research a while ago and looked at satellite images on the internet, images of that place where Gipeun must have once stood. But there's nothing left there, just a much smaller bay, a narrow road, a hotel, and a few houses near Changjon. Nothing that reminds me of that ulcer in the world. Maybe the terrible black water even cleansed and healed the place, and people can now live there without hate, but I don't know for sure.

Now you know everything I can tell you about yourself and your hometown. About your first year of life and what killed your father. You now know about my guilt, my actions, and my deeds. You know why I became numb and detached... I just never got away from those years. I know that I have unleashed that coldness on you too often, even though I didn't want to. Though, I made sure you could go to school and in the end to university. You were always a smart girl... But... my warmth died with your father in that hut, and I couldn't show you much love, even though I gave it to you in my own way. I need you to know that you have always been the most important thing to me. I wasn't strong enough and too broken from my past to be a good mother. I failed you too many times and would do everything to turn back time and be a better, more loving parent to you... But maybe my toughness also protected you from the dangers out there... I hope so, at least. I hope I haven't completely failed you in the end. Hope, that the world won't overwhelm you - ever.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

So, I beg of you again: Forgive me. Forgive your old mother who couldn't break free from the cold of the past. Who always demanded discipline from you and was always too strict. I know you hate me, but I hope and pray that after reading my tale – your tale - you now understand me a little better.

I know we will never speak again. I know you don't want to see me anymore. My cancer has now won, and I must give up. I must also give up on trying to tell you one last time, face-to-face, that I'm sorry and that I love you more than anything, my dearest Joon-Ho. I hope to see your father again soon, but I'm afraid to face him. I have done too much wrong. But this letter... I hope it reaches you, and you read it with care. And I hope... you forgive me. Please!

I will always love you.

Your mother, forever,

Haru

MORE STORIES THAT ARE CONNECTED TO THIS ONE:

https://ebrugh-reports.fandom.com/wiki/The_Ebrugh_Reports