The incident by the sea had deeply disturbed me, and I fell asleep restlessly when I arrived back home. You, as always, slept beside me, and your presence gave me solace, allowing me to push aside what I had witnessed. It must have been nothing, just a silly quarrel among sailors and a dead thing from the deep sea that had ventured too close to the surface. That happened sometimes. Very, very rarely, but not never. Whether it was a strange fish with an odd growth or a whale with the marks of large suction cups on its body, every few years, you'd find remnants of the depths of the ocean. Almost as if it wanted to remind you that it was there, lurking.

Your peaceful breathing relaxed me, Joon-Ho, it always did. I admired your calm sleep, despite the sometimes terrible things happening around you. You gifted me with yet another unexpectedly peaceful, dreamless sleep that night, and I woke up late the next morning. Your father still hadn't returned, and your grandmother had already left to help her friend repair some window shutters, so I decided to visit Deiji and talk to her about the previous night. I just had to tell someone, someone I trusted with my life. So, I held you close and made my way down to the harbor district.

During the day, the Gipeun didn't look much more inviting than it did in the evening. People were now tending to their gardens, hoping for a successful harvest before winter to make ends meet, and a few were taking care of the animals they kept - chickens and rabbits, but occasionally also a dog. As I looked at the grim, focused faces on my way down, faces that, like mine, knew little in life beyond work and the fear of illness, weather, and starvation, I held you tightly. I cursed silently, knowing that you, too, would grow up in this hell, that one day you'd be squatting somewhere in the dirt, watering a few measly cabbage heads while crushing snails and other pests. I am infinitely grateful that I now know you were spared from this fate, Joon-Ho. I'm glad you're growing up in a better country, but back then, those thoughts burned my soul.

I greeted the people I recognized. I knew some of the townsfolk, had grown up with a few, helped them with household chores as a child, or looked after their animals. Others I had encountered while doing my community work all over the city. There was something that bound me to them, a network of solidarity that had grown with me throughout my whole life. Though the town was pure hopelessness, the community was the only safety there was. Next to family, of course.

It was a long way down, but eventually, I arrived at Deiji's house. She and Hyeon had married more than ten years ago and had moved into Hyeon's parents' house together. A small part of me quietly wondered if Joos' death had ultimately brought them closer. If without our trip everything would have turned out as it had. But, I quickly dismissed those thoughts. I was glad that at least something good had come out of all the horrors. My friends' house was white and had a front yard with some corn plants growing in it. I knew Deiji treated them with the greatest care, almost as if they were the child she had not been able to have. Holding you close to me, I knocked on the front door and eventually entered. Deiji was sitting at her simple kitchen table, breaking down some ears of grain, probably to bake bread. She was sweating and looked up. She gazed at us, momentarily looking as if she were staring into the distance, but then she smiled and stood up to greet us.

I sometimes wonder if you remember anything. Her scent? Her voice? What did you take with you from that place, and what did you leave behind? I would like to ask you that, Joon-Ho, but you probably don't remember anything anymore. After all, you were just a little child, almost a baby...

"Haru! Are both of you okay? Has Eun come back home yet? Is your mother still in good health?"

"Yes, we're doing well. My mother is with Nari, helping her repair some window shutters that were damaged by the storm. Eun is still out at sea, but I'm sure he'll be back soon. How about you? And Hyeon?"

"Yes, everything is fine, everything is fine! He's at the shipyard. I'd love to see him more, but who am I to complain? You're probably in a similar situation, and even more often..."

"It's okay, it's normal to miss him. That is how life is... Are you baking? Can I help you?"

Deiji looked across the table, pondered, and sighed.

"I actually need some water, but I can handle that myself later."

"I don't want to stop you from doing your chores! We could go now, together! I have not been at the well for some time, might be good to see the people again..."

"No, you have the little one to carry, and I don't want to burden you with an extra trip... It can wait."

"No, let's go! I'll come with you! I just need some company right now. I feel lonely," I pressed her.

She nodded after a brief pause, grabbed an old, dented tin bucket, and soon we walked down the street. Her presence always comforted me, and I was glad I was not completely alone when your father was away and your grandmother busy. The way down to the well wasn't long, but we had to navigate a rough road that was more pothole than path, and it was challenging to carry you while trying not to stumble. As Deiji and I slowly made our way across the cracked ground, we suddenly heard an angry shout from one of the houses along the street. Deiji jumped and dropped her bucket, which clanged loudly as it hit the ground. She cursed and quickly picked it up, then looked at me to make sure I hadn't been similarly startled.

"Are you okay?"

"Everything's fine... Who was that?"

Deiji didn't respond but let her weary eyes wander to a half-opened window shutter that looked dilapidated and was now sending loud clattering noises onto the street.

"That's the Lee couple. They argue quite often. About money wasted on drinking and about bread that's no longer enough to fend off starvation. A pitiful couple..."

I felt uneasy as I noticed Deiji's oddly sharp tone and the contemptuous glint in her eyes.

"They have no consideration for others. Imagine if you had dropped your little one? We can consider ourselves lucky that you're not as jumpy as I am..."

There was a crash, and another shout rang out, this time filled with more scorn.

"You bitch, I've been working, I want food on the table! Something decent! Not this cabbage slop! Who do you think I am? A bum? Unemployed? Stop being such a lazy piece of shit! Why did I even marry you? You better wash up, you stink! You disgust me!"

The man's words made my stomach churn. I felt scared, wanted to get away. It was like hearing my father arguing with my mother, but this was far worse. I was afraid of that malevolent voice, of the anger in those words, afraid it might turn against me. For a moment, I thought I could hear the old Young-Soo, as he called me a stupid brat, hear the gurgling of a bleeding woman...

"Haru, are you okay? You're trembling! Are you feeling unwell?"

I was snapped back to reality as Deiji placed her hand on my shoulder. How had she gotten there? I became scared again, scared that I might black out, and something might happen to you!

"I'm fine, I just... do you remember Young-Soo?"

Her sharp gaze suddenly became clear, and sympathy filled her face.

"That old story...? I see. I understand... Please, Haru, let's just keep going, forget about this..."

With a sudden movement, however, the door of the house from which the screams had come was flung open. A man emerged, around forty, with balding short hair, a stubbly beard, and small, venomous eyes. His clothes were loose-fitting; besides his pants and worn-out slippers, he wore only a filthy white shirt. The small cigarette burning in the corner of his mouth flared as he took a drag and marched towards me.

What did he want?

For a moment, I thought he was going to charge at us, gone mad and senseless. But his gaze didn't seek me; instead, it landed on an old, scruffy gray dog. They called him Haeng-Un, and he had been living in a small hollow next to the Hong family's old fence for almost as long as I could remember. Some of the people passing by had occasionally tossed him bits of food, while others had constructed a makeshift shelter from partially broken wooden crates to shield him from the frequent rains. Thanks to these small acts of kindness, the poor dog had survived. We had all achieved that together!

Now, however, the enraged man approached Haeng-Un, stood before him, and began to shout:

"And you, you wretched creature? Barking all day, so I can't sleep! Eating our food because you're too dumb to hunt for yourself! WE need the food! There are plenty of rats here, you stinking disgrace! GET LOST!"

With that, the man kicked at the dog, which yelped loudly and scurried away, hunched over, its whimpers hanging in the air for a long time. Deiji finally pulled me away as onlookers from the surrounding windows tried to see what had happened.

"Poor Haeng-Un. He never bothered anyone ever. What a drunken idiot!" Deiji hissed.

I tried to ignore the situation, but it had shaken me deeply. Then, not far from us, we could finally see the small square that housed one of the wells. You know, even though we had rain and snow, the water was often dirty and scarce, especially down by the salty sea. There were indeed some functioning water pipes in Gipeun, further up in my neighborhood at the city's border, but only the wealthiest could afford to maintain them. So, the clean wells were one of the cornerstones of the port district, and people often came to fetch water there. I myself used a small stream that broke from the rocks at the border with the mountains as a water supply, but I could only do that because I still lived in my parents' house up on the hill. Nevertheless, I often accompanied Deiji and helped her carry water, so I knew some of the women and children who lined up at the well to exchange news. We finally stood behind Ji-Yeon, a thin, short-haired woman with a reddened and creased face and a hunched posture that made her look at least sixty years old, even though I knew she was barely forty.

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"Ah... Yes... You two are here again. How's the child? Everything the same, Haru? And you, Deiji, have you made progress with your roof tiles?"

Her voice sounded as warm as always, and she spoke cautiously.

"I'm in the midst of the renovations," Deiji replied.

"I'm doing well too. I'm waiting for Eun to return. He's been at sea for several days now, and I hope nothing has happened to him, especially after the storm... But he's probably ventured too far out again with the others to reach the richer fishing grounds, and it just takes a long time to come back."

"Hm, yes, that could be. I remember a few years ago when a ship got caught in the current and was dragged south... The crew didn't return for almost a month; they had survived on their catch, and soon their teeth fell out, or so they say... But don't worry, I'm sure Eun will be back home with you soon..."

Her gaze drifted away, as if she remembered something from a long time ago.

"South? They're lucky they weren't found and hanged by that rotten plague of a people down there," Deiji suddenly spat with disgust in her eyes.

You must know, Joon-Ho, that even back then, there was hostility between the South and the North. I myself shuddered every time people from down there were mentioned. To me, South Korea was a peninsula of the Western puppeteers who had betrayed our ancient culture and tradition. At least back then. Of course, today, I think differently. Today, I'm glad I went there and did not... But anyway, I understood Deiji's outburst. I couldn't blame her for the disgust in her words.

"Yes, that was lucky... But it didn't do them any good, did it, coming back without teeth?"

"No, it didn't."

I wanted to change the subject. I didn't want to expose you to these ideas if I could help it. I know you witnessed a lot in my arms, Joon-Ho, the arguments, the violence... But I still tried to keep you away from it as much as I could.

"Are you talking about the sea? So you have heard about what happened at the harbor?"

A woman stepped up behind me, holding two buckets, a neighbor of Deiji's whom I didn't know well. Her tone promised gossip, but I wasn't sure if I was in the mood for it. Unfortunately, Ji-Yeon had already answered, slowly and carefully.

"No, I haven't heard. What happened?"

"People are talking about it everywhere. There was a fight. The sailors, they... well, I'm not sure. It was probably a small fishing boat; they had just come back. They must have quarreled over something, or maybe they were... oh, who knows! Anyway, they apparently slaughtered each other. Like they were gutting fish, except this time it was people. Their entrails were apparently all over the pier... It stank..."

"Not in front of the child," I snapped.

"Are you out of your mind?"

Deiji also glared angrily at the woman.

"Yes, yes, okay! But that's how it was. At least that's what they say. I can't help it!"

"Maybe, but I don't want my daughter to hear about something like that!"

Still angry, I looked at her, but the woman had already turned around and was telling others about the bodies on the pier. However, it unsettled me that she hadn't mentioned the thing that the fishermen had brought ashore in their foolishness. Had it not been found? Had it really still been alive and crawled back into the sea...?

Finally, we arrived at the well. A man from the Ministry of People's Security stood next to it, watching as the women and children lifted their water from the depths. He ensured that no one took too much, that the well wasn't completely depleted. There were people like him at all the wells and other places that needed guarding, too. The man looked grim and wore a gray uniform consisting of a jacket with rank insignia, matching pants, and a cap. A small club hung at his side, and its curvature suggested it had often been used. Sometimes he smiled when people thanked him, but such a smile never reached his cold eyes, which continually looked down on us. We knew him; he was often here unless someone else took his shift. You saw security officers like him everywhere. I think his name was Hang-Sun, but I could be wrong.

We were almost at his side when one of the women in front of us suddenly dropped her freshly filled bucket, letting out a startled cry. The bucket clattered to the ground, and the well water flowed over the ground, eventually seeping away.

But there... it wasn't just the water I had seen so often. Something seemed to be swimming in the liquid, a slightly yellowish, barely visible substance that was only briefly visible and then disappeared into the ground. I held you tight as my stomach turned.

"What was that? Did you see that too?"

"It was yellow, almost like slime..."

"Maybe pus? Or bile?"

"How could that have gotten down there?"

"It's in my water too! It's already dissolving... What's going on? Yuck! WHAT IS THAT?"

Loud murmurs erupted, and panic simmered among us. Some of the women who had already filled their buckets flinched as they seemingly noticed something swimming in their water.

"I don't know what that is; it smells weird!"

"I don't feel well; how long has it been in there?"

"Yesterday morning, everything was clean, I think, but who pays attention to the water?"

"It's dissolved in mine by now; I can't see it anymore. Is it still there?"

"Damn, how long has it been in there? Who drank the water?"

"QUIET!"

Hang-Sun looked around with a wrinkled nose. I could tell he'd rather be doing something else than watching the women flinch in panic and inspect their freshly filled buckets. Nevertheless, he eventually confronted the woman who had dropped her bucket and ignored the others for the moment.

"You. Take your bucket and get out of here!"

"But... the water... I have no water... My boy is sick; he needs something to drink, quickly..."

"You stupid woman, go to another well! Don't hold us up! NEXT!"

He turned to us. We were no more than five steps away from the woman who was now squatting on the ground, digging incredulously into the mud that was the last vestige of her water ration.

"Please, can't I have something from here... Please, I'll take it even if something is in it, please... my boy, he is sick..."

She crawled toward Hang-Sun and clung to his leg, her dirty face filled with tears.

"NO, YOU STUPID WOMAN! AWAY!"

The club came down and struck her in the head. I watched, frozen, as she slumped to the ground, and Hang-Sun pushed her away with his foot. Some red taint clung to his baton.

All I wanted in that moment was to be somewhere else with you, Joon-Ho. I wanted to be in a place where it was better, where you weren't exposed to such situations, and I held you tightly to my chest. In my head, a small voice said that I was already in the best country in the world, that it couldn't get any better. That is what I had always been taught.

The woman was carried away after Hang-Sun had summoned some old men who had been standing at the edge of the square, watching everything. With lifeless eyes, they dragged the limp body away.

I never saw that woman again.

We slowly broke out of our stupor when the official indicated that it was now our turn.

"You can't take that. I'll fetch some from the small stream up above near my house. You can't drink this! Who knows what's in it?" I whispered to Deiji so that only she could hear.

Ji-Yeon was already pulling on the rope; she probably couldn't afford to forgo a bucket of water, but her bony hands trembled the whole time.

"Haru, he'd beat us too if we left now... If we're unlucky... Just look at him! Besides, I can boil it and filter it. It'll be okay. Don't worry about it; you have enough to do with the little one..."

With that, Deiji also approached the well, tied her bucket securely, and lowered it into the depths.

"Thank you very much!" she said softly to Hang-Sun, bowed slightly, and pulled me away toward the rutted road that would lead us to her house.

I looked back, back at the line of people, and back at the old well that had provided water for many decades. The stones now looked dark and somehow dim, and the place felt cold and somehow... I don't know exactly what it was, but I still shiver when I think of that well. Today, I'm pretty sure that there was something down there in the water on that noon, something that would trigger all the misery that would befall the city in the next few days.

We had barely left the square and walked a few meters up the path when our eyes fell on a small crowd of people huddled around something lying on the ground. Some children were also among them, crying bitterly, but apparently, the others were so shocked that they forgot to keep the little ones away. Every ounce of reason told me to just keep walking, to climb over the potholes and follow Deiji straight to her house, but then I heard the words that made me sick and wish to be home already.

"Haeng-Un... poor thing... he'd been here for so long..."

"Who did... this can't be..."

"With an axe? Why? Why so many times..."

"It's already starting to smell..."

"Haeng-Un..."

No, I didn't want any more cruelty. I just wanted to go home. With you. To cradle you in my old chair and watch my mother as she knitted for us. I wanted to sit with Deiji at a warm plate of soup and relive the joyful times of childhood with her...

I can't tell you exactly what had happened, but from the comments... I think it was the aggressive man I had seen before. The one who had marched toward me, or rather toward the dog...

As I hurried past the crowd, I briefly saw the bloody, grey tattered thing on the ground. Hurriedly, I kept going. Holding on to you probably prevented me from just screaming and running away. I don't remember how we reached Deiji's apartment and finally sat down at her table. The tools she had left behind for baking her bread were still on the tabletop, as if nothing had happened.

But something had happened.

I could finally cry, and Deiji also stared into nothingness with watery eyes. We didn't need to say anything; we both knew what we were feeling.

"What's happening today, Deiji?"

"I don't know, Haru. I don't know what's going on. That man, he just... this poor dog. And then that security officer! He was never... so brutal. He usually only used his baton on drunkards. He never had much heart, but he was never a complete monster either... But maybe I'm wrong. I'm so confused..."

"Me too. A nightmare. If only Eun were here. Or Hyeon..."

"Everything will be fine, you'll see. We've gotten through everything up until now, together..."

We had. And we had also experienced many beautiful moments, contrasting this horror. All those past days, just us in the woods, by the cliffs, searching for grasshoppers and dragonflies and flowers...

Outside, there was a muffled bang.

Not again...

Both of us looked at each other, and finally, Deiji glanced at you as you lay on my arm.

"It's okay; I'll see what's going on again..."

With that, she got up and went to the front door, pushed it open, and stepped outside. Only the two of us remained. I looked at the table in front of me, then looked at you again. Joon-Ho, I must thank you because you were always a support to me in those times. You were still so small, couldn't even speak yet, but just because I had you, I probably managed to go on. I saw your little face, your small nose, as you peacefully slept there, wrapped in your blanket. Even back then, I wondered what would become of you, and today, I know and am happy about it. I dreamt of a future where you wouldn't have to work and toil, where you'd find a man who loved you, just as your father loved me...

My thoughts allowed me to escape, but then something cut in, soft, whispering voices.

"Scum... worthless... you should all die... you should be drowned, shouldn't you... hacked to pieces... lit on fire... Suffocate and bleed... wonder if you can bleed... pain... you shall... pain will be there... only pain... hate you... hate you..."

I shuddered, but the voices faded quickly. Almost as if they had never been there. But you had started to cry, so... I think, Joon-Ho, you heard it too. I know you sometimes slept poorly, that you had nightmares of a creature whispering dark words to you and wanting to harm you! I always said that there was nothing out there, nothing supernatural or otherworldly that was out to get you. But I lied. Always lied... Something was out there. Many times. The words, the voices—rough like sandpaper and strangely gurgling—came from the bucket in the corner. The bucket we had brought from the well. The half-rusted metal looked plain, innocent, but I knew... I knew there was something inside. I got up, made sure you had stopped crying, hummed a lullaby and hurried to the door.

Deiji was sitting outside, cursing as she gathered some pieces of the garden fence that had apparently given way. She grunted, trying to free some jammed wooden pieces that had been too firmly connected with rusty nails.

"Deiji..."

"Yes, what is it? Seems like a gust of wind did some damage... Haru, what's wrong?"

"The water... don't drink it. Please! Promise me you'll pour it out and get new water from the stream up the hill. From the small stream that comes down from the mountains."

"What? Why...?"

"Just do it. Please, promise me..."

I must have looked serious because she quickly promised.

"Deiji, I want to go home. I'm not feeling well. Please forgive me for not helping with the baking, but..."

"It's okay. Go rest. Don't worry, take care of Joon-Ho and rest..."

I hugged her tightly, and you let out a joyful chuckle before we headed home.

"Promise me!" I called back one more time, but Deiji was already focused on fixing the fence and didn't seem to hear me anymore.