My head still hurts…

My sparring match with Carol ended with my defeat and me landing on my head. The fall knocked me out, but it didn’t take long for me to wake up, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Hecate was impressed with my performance, and both she and Narumi helped me out after the fight. Katja also said she was happy but decided that it would be better to end the training there for the day so I could rest. She told me to go home, and everything was fine. Though, my head still hurts.

I need to get stronger… That was a complete defeat. What went wrong back there? I think Carol was just better than me. She had a lot more experience than me, and she was able to use that to her advantage. I was so fixated on our swords that I didn’t even think about the possibility of there being other threats. It seemed a little unfair, but thinking back on it, so many decisions about my training were made with real combat in mind. It only makes sense she’d use everything to win, that’s how it goes in a real fight. Katja only ever taught me how to fight with a sword. Did she know the fight with Carol would turn out this way? Was it all to lull me into a false sense of security? Carol would still have won even if she fought only with her sword. She was undoubtedly stronger than me. Even though she’s so small and cute…

Katja wanted to make sure I would make it back home and decided to accompany me part of the way. Right now, the two of us are walking side by side towards my apartment. I told her I would be fine, but she didn’t listen. It’s nice to walk with her like this, so I’m not gonna complain. It’s starting to get late, and it has become a little windy. I think my head might not be functioning properly after the fall because just looking at her while her pink hair flutters softly appears really picturesque to me for some reason. I guess it just doesn’t take much more than a pretty girl and a nice sunset for anything to look pretty.

“You did well today.” Katja swept away the hair from her face as she turned towards me. “Results aren’t everything. You’re doing well.”

“Thanks.” She’s already told me something similar at the dojo, so I’m not sure why she’s bringing it up again. I don’t mind it at all, since it feels amazing to have her praise me like this. I am, however, not sure if I agree with her. Maybe it is impressive that I was able to match Carol to a certain extent, but I want more! I want to win! Isn’t that natural? Is there anyone who wants to lose? That’s the praise I really want from her and the others. And it’s becoming really apparent that if I want that kind of praise, I’ll have to get stronger. There’s just no other way. I need to become a lot more experienced, and that means I need to fight more. The sparring matches have been great, but I fear they might not be enough. I need more fights, real fights.

I’ve been very hesitant, but it’s probably about time I start thinking of fighting monsters. I obviously don’t want to die, and if something goes wrong when I try to fight against a monster, they’re not just gonna stop and let me go, so I’ve been really afraid. But I remember the beetle that attacked me a while ago. Katja said it was really weak, and I think she’s right. As I am right now, I have no doubt that I would be able to win, so I really need to stop hesitating. Katja’s training has been too comfortable.

There are monsters in the forest behind the House of Imaginary Boundaries, so that’s where I should go to get more experience. I also have the VISS Driver, so if I fight monsters and manage to properly finish them off, I’ll also start getting levels, and then I’ll really start getting stronger. According to Katja, the monsters there come to our world through a portal somewhere in the forest. Maybe going back into the other world is also a good option for me. It also sounds really fun, but I was told that the portals themselves were dangerous. I don’t really buy it, but I’m not gonna push my luck. I’ll have to see if I can find that portal in the forest so I can check it out.

“Hey, Iroha. I’m sorry to tell you, but we’re not gonna be able to train tomorrow. I have a job to take care of, and I won’t be available.” We had gotten pretty close to my apartment, and the two of us stopped as Katja started to speak. “If you want to train on your own, that would be fine. I think you’re ready to fight most of the weaker monsters, so if you’re willing to go into the forest, that would make for good training.” I giggled.

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“Looks like we were thinking the same thing. I was starting to think that I should train on my own sometimes and about going into the forest.” Katja appeared surprised by my response but also pleased.

“You should, you really should. There’s only so much you can learn by swinging a sword alone in a dojo. It can be scary when you first start, but don’t pay it any mind. Being able to surpass that fear is very important.” I nodded in agreement since it was really scary for me, but it’s not like I can just ignore that feeling. It’s easy for a stoic girl like her to say, but that’s not how that works for me and everyone else.

“This is close enough, so I’ll be heading back, Iroha. If you run into any roadblocks in your training, come to me right away, and I’ll help you. Be careful out there, and run away if you’re not confident you can win.” Katja patted my head shortly before turning around and waving me goodbye. Unexpected… But nice… I waved back at her, with my face reddening up, before heading into my apartment.

As soon as I pass through the door, I’m happy. I’m home. It’s time to enjoy life! I go through my routine and sit down on my desk, ready to enjoy my free time and play some games… Wait, no! Now’s not the time for this! I have more pressing concerns. The other world is the world from a game, a game that I remember having played. I tried to find the game after I came back, I searched through all my game libraries, but I didn’t find it.

I wanted to try searching for it again, but I never got around to it. However, since I’m considering going into that other world now, I ought to find the game first. I’m putting my life on the line. My memory of the game is not great, its details didn’t leave a lasting impression on me, but every piece of information I remember can save my life. I have no choice but to look for it.

I swear I bought the game on a sale at some point. So how did I not find it in any of my game libraries? Am I going crazy? I’m pretty sure I didn’t miss it. Did it get delisted or something? Those bastards better get me my money back if that’s the case! It might have been cheap, but I paid for it! That’s not important right now. I wanted to play the game again, but at this point, I’ll take any information I can get.

I had been going through my game libraries again just now to double check, but I really wasn’t finding it. I gave up on that idea and turned my attention to my PC to use my trump card. Internet searches! I can’t play the game? Fine. I’ll just gather information on the internet! But as I stared at the search bar, I realized a flaw in my plan. What was the name of the game again? Right, if I knew, I wouldn’t be having this problem in the first place.

Okay, a direct plan of attack is not gonna work. But I think I can still find it. I just need to look for things related to the game, and the best way is usually through characters. Like the girl I saw in the research center. Her name was Velvet Power… something… that’s not gonna be enough, is it? Bummer… She’s not the only character I remember the name of, though, I got this!

I tried searching for the names of a couple more characters, some of whom I thought I remembered their full names, but I couldn’t find anything. This isn’t working. I must be getting their names wrong. I should still be getting some results, dammit. The game’s a cult classic, so it never got super popular, but this is strange. I need a term that I know exists and is right for sure. Oh! I got it!

“VISS Driver”

What’s this? Driver… Driving school? NOOO! That’s not it! Did it not find anything?! I even put in the quotation marks! How did that not work?! Does this game not have a wiki? I cannot believe that! I used it! Am I going insane? Are you telling me this game doesn’t exist? That’s just not true!

I don’t know how else I can look for the game, so I decided to look through a list of every game on the console it released. I didn’t find it in my library, so now I’m even questioning whether or not it came out on this console, but I know it did. There’s no way I can’t find it. It has to be here somewhere. I was able to narrow the list down using the game genres, but after almost two hours of looking at games’ screenshots, I still didn’t find anything. Was the game on another console? I’m pretty sure I played on this one.

I can’t do this anymore. How the hell did I not find anything?! How is that even possible?! How does a game just disappear? I’m furious, but I’m also so tired that I don’t have the energy to be angry. I must have missed it or something. I’ll look for it another day… I was hoping to finish in like 5 minutes and then relax for the rest of the day, but now I’m just exhausted.

Why did it have to be that game? Couldn’t the other world have been based on a better game? One I actually remembered!? That’s not the game’s fault, I suppose. I guess I’ll be going in blind pretty much. Even if I remember some things, it will probably be better if I don’t act on them too much. My memory’s too unreliable. No cheats for me…

I wanted to wash the bad taste off my mouth, so I decided to forget about games for the day and watched anime until it was time to go to bed.