It was absolute chaos.

Wild boars ran in every direction, knocking over Arachmen and climbing onto the table. They crashed into their captors and attacked with their large tusks, tearing into the spider people with everything they had.

Several Arachmen were unconscious near the pens where the boars had been held, but showed no signs of injury like the ones the boars were inflicting. The battle for control raged on as the Arachmen tried to subdue their breeding stock of food, but were having immense difficulty.

Suddenly, from the rear of the chamber, an enormous shape emerged. It was like all the other Arachmen, except this one was at least three times larger and somehow clearly feminine. The creature hissed some sort of command and the Arachmen regrouped, forming a defensive line at the stairwell to keep the boars from escaping. This new leader, and she was obviously their leader, tentatively tapped one of her feet on the stone floor as the boars cowered in the face of their new foe.

After tapping the floor, her head swiveled to the pens near the unconscious Arachmen and hissed again. The giant spider woman began walking over to the unconscious Arachmen, spider-like face unreadable. One of the boars ran away from her, heading straight for the pens.

The Undefilers burst out of their hiding place in the pens. Groll roared, brandishing his axe. Brody circled around to the side of the enormous creature, sword and shield at the ready. Kylie had her crossbow cocked and ready to fire. Helen… Helen wrapped her arms around the boar that came running to her and proceeded to comfort it.

The Arachmen in the chamber forgot about the boars and scrambled to protect their leader, spreading out around her. The leader hissed some sort of command and they looked at her, confused, but stood their ground.

They stood there weighing each other for several moments, the Arachwoman hissing softly a few times. Finally, the leader backed away from the confrontation and walked toward the pool of glowing green liquid. Brody twitched, clearly unsure about what to do when faced against such odds. The purpose of the green liquid was an additional variable that could be anything.

The Arachwoman dipped a finger into the bubbling liquid and drew some intricate symbol on her forehead with what stuck there. A few soft hisses and some foot-tapping later, a voice sounded from the pool itself.

“You come to our home and offer nothing but violence,” the voice said. “Why?”

The adventurers looked at each other, confused. Brody cleared his throat to speak, but it was Groll who beat him to it.

“Our companion,” Groll said, indicating Pig-Keevan. “He was transformed into a boar. Something tells me that you are familiar with the process. Can you reverse the effect?”

“Why?” the voice said again.

“We want him back,” Helen said sternly, standing.

“Why?” the voice repeated.

“He is a valued teammate,” Brody replied.

“Why?” the voice repeated, urgent.

“He’s our friend,” Kylie grudgingly said, causing Pig-Keevan to look up at her in surprise.

“No,” the voice said. “Why have you come offering violence? I do not care about why you want to fix your companion. Why do you people from beyond hate us so?”

“Huh,” Helen muttered under her breath. “I could have sworn that was going to be a big dramatic leadup to the team realizing the importance of Keevan, a realization that would have somehow solved all of our issues. Now that I say it out loud, that's just ridiculous.”

"Why do we bring violence?" Brody asked, incredulous. "You brought violence first."

“You’re the ones creating monsters and unleashing them on innocent people!” Kylie shouted.

"We create those monsters for our own protection. People like you come down here with magic and weapons. We use what was given to us by the world to defend ourselves and keep our people safe," the voice continued, matching the gestures from the Arachwoman. "We sent people to explore beyond our realm and help us escape this place, but they never returned. We do not seek violence. Only safety. You are the true monsters."

"I am not a monster," Groll said, both pained and angry. "My people, the orcs, are perceived as monsters outside these caverns. There are many who do monstrous things, but I am not a monster because I am an orc. It's what we do that makes us monsters.

"My team and I have come here to keep the innocent people above safe from the unnatural, savage creatures you have unleashed. Is that the work of monsters? How many people have perished to provide your purported protection?"

The Arachwoman hissed in annoyance and frustration.

"You speak of what you do not understand," the voice said. "Now, tell me how to keep more of you from coming here and killing my people."

"We are The Undefilers," Brody said, confidence and defiance ringing clear in his voice. "We are here to take this defiled place and make it clean and safe for all people who need our protection. Now you tell me, are you a people who needs our protection? Or do we need to protect people from you?"

"We wish for more than this meager existence, fighting against magical forces we do not understand," the voice said. "But we are not so foolish as to believe that you would let us live beyond our small realm of containment on this island."

"Wait," Kylie said. "Are you trying to say that you didn't create these magical caverns and all the creatures in them?"

"We have only been able to replicate the creatures on a small scale using the Life Water and the mushrooms below," the voice said, embarrassed.

"Yeah, I don't think I buy that," Kylie said. "It's all a web of lies!"

Groll groaned despite the dire situation, causing the Arachwoman to tilt her head to the side.

"Do you tire of this talk? You would prefer the violence you profess to abhor, son of monsters?" the voice said as the Arachwoman pointed at Groll.

"No," Groll said placating, hands raised. "My companion has the habit of horrible word play and I was expressing my annoyance at her interruption."

"What is this word play?" The voice asked. "We have no nuanced verbal communication. If complex thoughts need to be expressed, we use the Life Water."

At the words 'life water,' the Arachwoman gestured to the pool of glowing, bubbling liquid.

"Look," Helen said, interrupting. "I'm sure Groll would love to chat all about words and language and read books all day. But we're still kind of in the middle of a violent standoff. Let's just agree to not kill each other, fix our friend back to normal, and then we can talk about all sorts of things and maybe come to a more permanent understanding. That sounds nice, doesn't it, dear?"

The Arachmen arrayed in front of their matriarch shifted uneasily as their leader thought about the offer.

"So be it," the voice said.

A hiss echoed through the room and the Arachmen relaxed and began herding the previously forgotten boars into their pens. The adventurers stared, astonished, at the immediate change that the Arachmen underwent at the order from their leader. Then, they sheathed their weapons and walked to the table in the center of the room.

The table was made of the same shimmering material that the pens were made of. The same material that the floating cage was made of, as well.

“This is very pretty,” Helen said, running a hand along the table. “What’s it made of?”

“Silk,” the voice replied.

“From silk worms?” Helen asked, looking around the chamber for where they might be kept.

“From us,” the voice said.

Helen stopped touching the silk and covertly wiped her hand on her clothes behind her back.

“How lovely,” the dwarf said, smiling.

“Your friend,” the voice said. “He touched a mushroom, the Life Water, and one of the carvings of a boar, yes?

Pig-Keevan shook his head.

“I believe he just touched the mushroom and the carving,” Groll said.

"Strange. We require the Life Water for all magics," the voice said. "Do you have a depiction of his appearance before the transformation?"

"I don't believe so," Groll said. "Could we use that to change him back?"

"Yes," the voice replied. "Have him touch a mushroom, the Life Water, and a depiction of himself. He will change."

"If that's the case, why do all of your creatures have mushroom heads?" Brody asked.

"When the shape is unnatural, the mushroom incorporates itself into the new creature," the voice said.

"So… if we decided to give him a really big nose in the drawing, for example, would that change happen to his body?" Kylie asked, mischievous.

"Yes," the voice replied.

"I am no artist," Groll said. "Does anyone know how to draw?"

"I think I could come up with something…" Kylie said, grinning.

Pig-Keevan vigorously shook his head when Kylie volunteered her artistic services.

"Sorry, dear," Helen said, chuckling. "I never could draw anything besides a bath!"

"I have a sketch," Brody said at last. "I have drawn the whole team a number of times. It helps me visualize future battles and to prepare for them. I don't know if it has the right amount of detail, though."

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

Brody pulled a stack of papers from his pack. Drawings of each party member were included, sometimes together and sometimes just an individual. Always in some sort of combat pose or attacking a monster of some kind. They weren't embellished, either. Every person was accurately drawn. No liberties taken to make any person more physically fit, attractive, or even dressed in different clothing.

"These are incredible," Kylie breathed. "You drew these? Wow, you even got the part of Groll’s left eyebrow that dips just a little bit. And the tiny wrinkle by his right ear! How in the world did you ever get this good?"

The whole group was staring at their captain, suddenly reevaluating the serious, combat-obsessed warrior they thought they knew. Groll was also smoothing out his left eyebrow with two fingers.

"I work on them every morning before my exercises. The more realistic they are, the easier it is for me to remember how the strategy I came up with will work in real life," Brody said, clearly embarrassed.

"So," Groll said, coming to his senses. "We just have Keevan touch the… Life Water, a mushroom, and one of these drawings?"

"Yes," the voice said. "Then you must tell me of the world above and its dangers."

Helen removed a mushroom from her pack with a pair of tongs and set it on the ground in front of Pig-Keevan. He gingerly picked it up in his snout and carried it over to the pool of bubbling ectoplasm. He carefully dipped in a hoof and then trotted back over to the drawing that Brody had placed on the floor. It was one where the elf had his hands outstretched, summoning a fireball.

Pig-Keevan placed a hoof on the drawing. No flash of light blinded them. No cloud of smoke blossomed around his form. No gruesome metamorphosis of flesh occurred. The boar was there one moment, then suddenly Keevan was standing on all fours with a hand on the sketch and a mushroom between his teeth.

Keevan violently spat the mushroom out of his mouth and stood once more. He patted his body with his hands a few times and touched his face. Then, as the stately and reserved elf that he was, he jumped up and down, squealing with joy. The elf ran over to Brody and threw his arms around the warrior, hugging the armored man tightly.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” the elf said, his voice high with emotion.

Brody remained still with his hands up, not sure what to do about the happy elf squeezing him. After a moment, Keevan stopped hugging and laughing. He let go of Brody, straightened his robes, and slapped him on the shoulder a few times.

“Thanks, bro,” the elf said, pitching his voice lower than usual.

“Uff da,” Helen said. “Are there any side effects? I wouldn’t be against having a few wrinkles smoothed away, don’tcha know.”

“Your friend is restored,” the voice said. “Tell me of your realm. I am aware of the stone tunnels between realms. How many tunnels are between our realm and yours? What is it like? What dangers does it have? Who lives there?”

“Well, we aren’t completely sure about the amount of stone tunnels between here and there,” Brody said. “But the route we took had us travel through six tunnels to get here.”

“And how many tunnels are beyond your realm?” the voice asked. “I know we have two leading from our realm, so I assume there are at least two in each.”

“Hah!” Kylie blurted out. “We don’t live in a cavern! There’s a whole world out there. We’re from the surface. You know, outside the caverns?”

“How do you know?” the voice asked, curious.

“Well, we have the sky and…” Kylie trailed off. “Well I guess you have sky in here. But there are oceans, and… Well, we just do.”

“As for your other questions,” Groll said. “There is such a large variety of creatures, peoples, dangers, landscapes, weather, and more that there isn’t really a feasible way to answer. It is vast and it is diverse.”

“That is supremely unhelpful,” the voice said. “What dangers will we face when we get there? And what will we face along the way? Are there boars or will we need to bring our own?”

“Not being seen as monsters is a challenge for many, and I imagine it would be for you,” Groll said. “But the dangers along the way are many. Snatchoids, giant crabs, strange ice magics with the power to influence the mind, giant insects, and extremely powerful witches are some of the ones we saw. And there are many animals, not just boars.”

“And you will vouch for us? Tell the people there that we are peaceful?” the voice asked.

“I am not the best representative,” Groll said reluctantly. “The others could. But you have shown us little to convince us you are peaceful.”

“You are alive,” the voice said matter-of-factly.

“That’s not exactly a glowing endorsement, dear,” Helen said.

“But we are now friends, yes?” the voice asked.

“Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy,” Kylie said, her voice growing louder and more high pitched with every breath. “We’re down here in who knows where with some spider people who have a bubbling spring of ectoplasm that they use to make monsters but they’re apparently not the bad guys? And there’s more to this whole cavern system and someone else made it all and what about those witches? We’re supposed to bring them to the source of the ectoplasm, right? Does this spring count? Or is it something else? It’s all nuts! Also, there are monsters in here made of ectoplasm without the mushroom heads - like the Snatchoids! Why is no one else freaking out about all of this?!”

Keevan raised his hand slowly. “Um, I’m pretty overwhelmed from having been a pig all day,” the elf said. “But I would definitely be freaking out if not for that.”

“That’s a good point about the witches,” Brody added. “I don’t think this spring counts. So I do not believe we are required to bring them here. We should move on and leave this place behind. I… am not comfortable here.”

The Arachwoman shifted her gaze to Brody, sensing his discomfort with her and her people.

“You should stay,” the voice said. “Share with us more knowledge. We have much to learn.”

Brody twitched on the bench at the table, clearly wanting to put a hand on his sword but resisting the urge. Groll placed a hand on the human’s shoulder, calming him.

“And we want to help you,” the orc said earnestly. “Our quest was to come here and stop the monsters from coming out and attacking the innocent people above. If you will promise to stop creating these monsters and unleashing them, I believe we have two new quests. Investigate the source of power of these caverns and liberate an oppressed, misunderstood people. But we need to know more about this place before we can help you.”

The Arachwoman stared at Groll for a long moment, seemingly processing his words. Or considering how he would taste. It was really difficult to tell with those featureless black eyes.

“Very well,” the voice said, finally. “On your return, you will take us to your realm beyond. And teach us of that place. And help us to establish relations with your people.”

“Why don’t you ask for our firstborn while you’re at it!” Kylie joked, nudging Groll with an elbow and laughing.

Groll’s face turned red and he turned it away from the laughing half-elf.

“I agree to learning more about your people,” Brody said. “So that we might determine your nature for ourselves.”

The Arachwoman hissed in annoyance, lifting several legs into the air and stomping them irritably.

“Fine,” the voice said. “Leave us, now. But you will return shortly to complete our bargain. There is a tunnel leading from our realm on the other side of my chambers, though I doubt you will be able to continue beyond it.”

Brody stood from his seat, eager to leave the chamber and the Arachmen inside of it. The others followed his lead, standing and collecting their things.

“Um, quick question,” Kylie said, holding up a finger. “We wouldn’t be able to… I don’t know. Cook up one of your boars? We’ve been eating venison for days and it’s just not doing it for me, you know?”

“What do you mean by cook?” the voice asked.

“You don’t… Well, I guess you wouldn’t because you don’t have normal mouths. But… but bacon. And ham. And sausage. And… and… You poor, poor people,” Kylie said, sorrowful.

“We just take one of those boars over there,” Helen said. “We kill it, then we butcher it. Then we put pieces of it in a pan over a fire. Then we eat it.”

“I do not understand any of what you just said,” the voice said. “But please, take one and show me.”

"Yes!" Kylie said, pumping her arm into the air. "I'll get it!"

Kylie happily skipped along the pens. Once she was convinced she found the right one - likely the biggest - she went in and took care of things. With her unpoisoned blade. The better part of an hour was spent cleaning and butchering the animal, all while the Arachmen looked on and commented on the process in their strange language.

Once they were ready to start cooking, Helen pulled out her cooking tools. The Arachwoman was watching Kylie with fascination throughout the whole butchering process and now looked at Helen's tools with the same unwavering gaze.

Brody was keeping a close eye on the Arachwoman. Groll had been wary at first, but was now seated in his chair with a book open in his hands. Keevan had gotten tired of stretching out his limbs and had wandered over to the bubbling pool of ectoplasm.

"Put the fire over there, would you, dear?" Helen called to Keevan, pointing to a clear patch of stone nearby.

The elf jerked to attention at Helen's voice. Once the words had finished processing in his brain, he wandered over to where Helen pointed, raised his hands, and began muttering under his breath.

A cookfire blossomed to life on the floor of the cavern, causing the Arachwoman and some Arachmen who had been paying attention to jump back in alarm.

"What is this? Magic? With no Life Water?" the voice said.

"Uh," Keevan began. "Yeah. So, the 'Life Water' is what we call ectoplasm. And, by the apparent glow, it looks to be imbued with magic. Or something like that. I don't think it's supposed to glow. But lots of people are capable of magic. Just need to learn the spells."

"Fascinating," the voice said. "And many people in your realm can work magic this way?"

"Uh, yeah?" Keevan said uncertainly. "At least where I'm from."

The look on the Arachwoman's face didn't seem fascinated. It seemed pensive. There was definitely a lot going on behind those black eyes.

Kylie looked on as Helen cooked up hardy pieces of pork, practically drooling. The smell drifted through the cavern, causing even Groll to look up from his book.

"I can't help but feel a sort of kinship with the boar," Keevan said. "But… bacon."

Surprisingly, only the adventurers seemed affected by the smell wafting up from the sizzling meat in the pan. The others, now a bit closer to watch the process, just seemed curious.

When it came time to eat, the adventurers dug in with little reservations, clearly relishing the break from venison. They didn't speak, they just made soft moans of appreciation while they ate and occasionally gave Helen a raised thumb.

The dwarf offered a piece to the Arachwoman. The large spider-like woman grabbed a sizable chunk of meat and turned it around in her hands, eyeing the transformation it had undergone. Then, she sank her fangs into the meat.

The group of adventurers watched, unable to tear their eyes away from the disgusting sight before them. The pork collapsed in on itself, liquifying from the inside out. Then, it was slurped up like some sort of porcine smoothie from hell. When she was done, she wiped at her fangs and tossed what remained to one of the Arachmen.

"Hm," the voice said, pensive. "I don't understand the point. Does it give you magic?"

"Um, no," Helen said, breaking out of her stupefaction. "Cooking it makes it safe to eat. And taste better."

"I understand it would be unsafe to try and eat it while it's alive, but you don't have to 'cook' it with magic to kill it. And as for taste, it seemed the same. Perhaps a bit worse."

"I…" Helen began. "Well, I'm not sure what to say to that. Groll, dear? You're good at explaining things."

"I believe the… method of consumption is different between species," Groll said hesitantly. "I suppose cooking holds no benefit for your people."

The Arachwoman's fangs drooped and one of her legs twitched in what might have been disappointment.

"Very well," the voice said. "Go, now. You have done your… cooking. Unless you would like to stay and teach some of your magic?"

"Uh," Keevan said. "I can't actually teach it. You need a spellbook for that. And I don't have one right now."

"Yeah, I think I lost my appetite, anyway," Kylie said, putting down the piece of pork she had been eating.

Helen began quickly packing up the food and cookware, getting Keevan to cool down the pans with a spell so they could leave quicker. Groll began strapping his chair to his pack and tucked away his book, preparing to leave.

"Alright, Undefilers," Brody said, using that special tone of his that told the adventurers that this was going to be another of his rousing speeches. "Quickly pack up. We have important quests that await. The fate of the world may lay in the balance. Or at least the village above. Or maybe they're fine now that the Arachmen are supposedly not unleashing more monsters. Nevertheless, we have work that must be done! So tarry not!"

When the warrior had finished, he looked around and saw that everyone was packed and ready, just waiting on him to leave.

"Thank you for your hospitality, miss…" Groll said. "I'm sorry, I don't think I got your name."

"I have no name," the voice said. "The others just call me Mother."

The group bowed and waved awkwardly as they were led to the stone tunnel away from the Arachmen. When they were out of earshot, Brody seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and relax for the first time since seeing the Arachmen. Well, as much as Brody ever relaxed.

"That is definitely a M.I.L.F." the warrior said.

"A what?" Keevan asked.

"A Mother I'd Like To Forget. It's a common phrase I've heard used," Brody replied.

"Yep. I think you nailed it, captain," Kylie said, trying hard to hide her smirk.