“Okay. This is more like it,” Kylie said, hands on her hips.

The group stood in front of the enormous, open stone doors, looking out into indiscernible darkness beyond the light of Keevan’s magic.

“What do you mean?” Keevan asked.

“Well, with all the weird places we’ve been after entering a new part of this cavern complex, I half-expected to see a sun-drenched savanna with a talking, wise-cracking meerkat,” Kylie said. “It’s nice to enter through dark, foreboding doors and find a dark, foreboding place.”

“Meerkat?” Keevan said, confused.

“It sure is dark. You betcha we wouldn’t be able to see anything without Keevan’s light,” Helen said.

“Stick together. We don’t know what could be in here with us,” Brody said softly, taking a step forward with his sword drawn. "Arachmen are crafty."

"I've been meaning to ask," Groll said, following after Brody. "How do you know so much about Arachmen? I've never even heard of them."

"Neither have I," Helen said. "And I've been around for a while, don'tcha know."

"I ran into them once with my previous team - before you joined, Groll," Brody replied. "It was actually not far from here. Or not far from the village where we first entered the caverns.

"We were in the mountains hunting for some unknown monster that was stealing livestock when one member of the team set off a trap, breaking his leg. Before we could extricate him, they were on us. We barely made it out alive. We spent the next two weeks eradicating the nest. It was challenging."

"Strange," Groll said, frowning. "They were nearby and no one has heard of them before? Did they speak? I know the three we saw were wearing clothing of some sort. And clothing they must have had made especially for them, considering their unique physiology. I find it hard to believe they're simply bloodthirsty savages."

"I only know what I have experienced," Brody finally said after a long pause.

The group fell into silence as they crept around the large chamber, looking for something that could help them identify where they were and what else was in there with them. They searched around the room in a group to be close to the light, spending nearly half an hour inching around in the dark.

"Gah!" Kylie shouted, bending over and clutching her foot. "I wish that stupid light was brighter!"

"Oh," Keevan said. "I can make it brighter. Do you want it brighter?"

The whole group turned and looked at the mage as one, flabbergasted. Kylie even went so far as to swirl a finger in her ear, as if not believing she heard him right.

"Are you saying you could have made that brighter this whole time, and we've been stumbling around in the near-darkness for nothing?" Kylie asked, an edge to her voice.

"I didn't know you wanted it brighter. Also, bright light in dark spaces gives me a headache," Keevan said, defensively.

A low growl formed in Kylie's throat.

"Dear? Could you please give us a bit more light?" Helen asked, putting a hand on the elf's arm. "I think everyone would appreciate it."

Keevan lifted his arms and muttered a few words under his breath. The orb of light raised higher and then brightened, illuminating a vast chamber with stone columns rising high into the air. Carvings adorned each column, depicting enormous, snarling boars from every angle. The walls of the chamber held similar reliefs, blanketing every vertical surface of the room that must have been over three thousand square feet.

The floor had what appeared to be raised planters in the stone - one of which was clearly what Kylie had accidentally kicked in the darkness. Patches of mushrooms grew in the planters, popping up in clusters of loose soil. They were small but distinctly familiar - an exact match to the heads of the monsters they had seen that were made up of various creature parts.

“It’s official. We have the worst mage. I swear, he’s useless,” Kylie said angrily. “He just lets us scoot around in the dark while we explore this place when he could have done this the moment we opened the door!”

“I am not useless!” Keevan replied indignantly. “I think you just proved that by pointing out I lit up the room.”

“But a good mage would have just done it immediately instead of waiting for someone to complain an hour later!” Kylie yelled.

“It’s not my fault you don’t make your needs known,” Keevan said. “Besides, it’s not my job to make sure your needs are met. I don’t have to be here, you know. A mage of my skill would be welcome basically anywhere. Any adventuring team or any palace in the world.”

“Good! Go! Then we can get a real mage!” Kylie shouted.

Brody watched the whole exchange, looking back and forth between each person with distress clear on his face. He looked as if he wanted to interject a number of times but kept shutting his mouth.

“Now, now. No need for any of that,” Helen said, getting between the two. “No one needs to go anywhere. Everyone does just fine.”

The scene shifts to reveal Kylie sitting in darkness.

"Seriously," Kylie said, face still angry. "He might know every spell on the planet, but it does us no good if he doesn't use them. I'll take a standard mage who actually uses his magic over whatever he is any day."

The scene shifts back to the group in the chamber, this time with more light.

Kylie and Keevan both huffed when Helen finished talking, folding their arms and turning away from each other. Brody looked around for something to distract them from their squabble.

“Stairs!” the warrior said, pointing. “There are stairs over there. Leading higher into the mountain.”

The group looked over to where their leader pointed. A set of stairs curved upward, appearing to spiral out of view. The carvings seemed to continue up the walls of the staircase, though the ground and stairs held no depictions of boars.

“There doesn’t appear to be any other way out of here,” Groll said. “Shall we scale the swine spire?”

Brody, Groll, and Helen all started toward the stairs. Keevan and Kylie grudgingly fell into step behind the others after a few moments of hesitation - and after they realized that they would just be alone together if they stayed put. When passing one of the raised planters, Keevan reached out and plucked one of the mushrooms to examine up close. Kylie nearly stopped him, familiar enough with mushrooms from her work with poisons to know that you don’t touch one you haven’t studied, but she stopped herself and continued on without another glance at the mage.

Keevan caught back up with the group, holding the mushroom up and staring at it as if expecting its secrets to be inscribed somewhere about the stalk. When they arrived at the staircase, Keevan slowed and stared at some of the carvings around the base of the stairs.

“These are so… realistic,” Keevan said, reaching out to run his hands along the contours of the carvings.

The light winked out of existence and darkness enveloped the group. A series of yelps and squeals sounded as the group was surprised by the sudden blackness. The rasp of a sword clearing its scabbard could be heard in the darkness, but no one could see a thing.

“Keevan, dear? What happened to the lights?” Helen asked.

The dwarf’s question was met with silence.

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“I’ll get my lantern. Hold on,” Groll said.

The orc’s pack could be heard dropping to the ground. The clinks of items banging against each other in his bag sounded as he dug through, using only his sense of touch and familiarity with the items within as his guide toward the magical lantern he used for reading each night.

The light winked on in Groll’s hands, dimly illuminating the immediate area around them - about an eight foot circle of visibility. Brody had his sword and shield held at the ready, head swiveling to search for an attacker. Helen had her back pressed against the wall, trying to distance herself from any potential action.

“Ah!” Kylie yelped, jumping backward and drawing a dagger.

A waist-high boar stood at the base of the stairs. It wasn’t snarling viciously or tearing them apart like the murals, however. It looked… confused.

Kylie threw her poisoned dagger at the boar from only a few feet away. As her daggers often did, it hit hilt-first and bounced off of the boar, eliciting a squeal of pain from the boar. The animal dropped its head and cowered, whining.

Groll's axe was raised, but he didn't swing. "Is… Keevan?" Groll said uncertainly, slightly lowering the axe.

The boar raised its head and stopped whining. It looked up at Groll and nodded its head slowly.

"Oh, hell. Alright. Well, this is certainly a series of un-porcine-ate events," Kylie said, not bothering to laugh at her own bad joke.

"How?" Brody asked, not even questioning that his thoughtless elf mage companion had been turned into a pig.

"It is clearly something with this room," Groll said, gesturing at the walls. "Maybe he triggered a trap like Brody warned us about."

"We do know that they are capable of magic, based on the mushroom creatures we fought," Brody said. "Perhaps they primed a spell to turn someone into a boar like these images? But to what end? Food?"

At the mention of the Arachmen wanting to eat Keevan, the elf-turned-boar squealed and hid behind the legs of Groll.

"Whatever it was, you betcha we're gonna fix it," Helen said, rolling up her sleeves.

"Can you change him back?" Groll asked, hopeful.

"Err… no. But don't you worry, dear," the dwarf replied, bending down a bit to talk to Keevan. "We'll figure something out."

"However we do it, it's going to require a lot of… collab-boar-ation," Kylie said, grinning.

"Kylie," Groll said. "Have some compassion. This is no time for jokes."

"Swine-not? Am I being insub-boar-dinate?" Kylie said, grinning.

"Helen, you're the most knowledgeable about magic with Keevan… incapacitated," Brody said. "Should we search for some sort of antidote or remedy in this chamber or go up the stairs?"

“As I’ve said,” Helen began, adopting a patient teaching tone. “I don’t have any experience with the arcane. But if I were a betting woman, which I occasionally am, I would say we should look around where it happened.”

“Alright. We stick with Groll’s light and look for anything that might have caused… this,” Brody said.

The group shuffled back the same way they had come to get to the stairs, staying close to Groll and his lantern the whole time. It was a lot more difficult than even their first foray into the darkness, as the light was even dimmer than Keevan’s initial orb. As for him, the swine sorcerer trotted along with the rest of the group, head swinging left and right to determine what could have caused his troubles.

“Gah!” Kylie shouted, bending over and clutching her foot. “This is your fault, again! If you hadn’t turned into a stupid pig, I wouldn’t have kicked another stupid planter!”

Pig-Keevan shrank under the beratement, dipping his head to the ground. Then, he audibly sniffed a few times before placing his front legs on top of the planter and squealing.

“What, now?” Kylie groused, sarcastic. “Is Timmy stuck in a well?”

“What is it, dear?” Helen asked, about to touch the boar but not quite making contact with her hand. “Is there something about the planter? Is that what you’re trying to tell us?”

Pig-Keevan nodded his head and prodded the nearest mushroom with his elongated snout. After grunting a couple more times, he plopped back down to the ground in an awkward seated position.

“I believe our companion is indicating that the mushroom was an element that led to his… current predicament,” Groll said, leaning over to look at the mushrooms. “Which would make sense. The creatures we encountered that had been spliced together incorporated a mushroom similar to these. Perhaps they have the power to polymorph people into pigs?”

Brody went to grab one of the mushrooms but Helen’s hand shot out to stop him. The dwarf pulled out a pair of tongs and plucked one of the mushrooms from the loose soil and examined it closer to Groll’s light.

“It does look essentially identical to the mushroom heads on those… things,” Helen said. “But how does it work? You didn’t eat one, did you, dear?”

Pig-Keevan shook his head emphatically. He snorted and trotted to the edge of the light, indicating with his head that the others should follow him back toward the stairs. The adventurers shared a look, shrugged, and followed after the hog. When they arrived at the base of the stairs once more, Pig-Keevan snorted at Helen’s hand - the one that gripped the mushroom in a pair of tongs - and then rose up on his hind legs to touch the wall with his front hooves.

“I think he’s saying he touched the mushroom to the wall?” Helen said, unsure.

Pig-Keevan shook his head. Then he paused and did what one could only call a hog shrug.

“Alright,” Kylie said, sounding bored. “So he touches the wall with the mushroom. So give him the mushroom and have him do it again. Or we could keep him like this. He’s probably more useful.”

Helen and Groll gave Kylie a firm look. After a moment, Helen reached out with her tongs to hand the mushroom to Keevan. The hog gingerly took the mushroom in his mouth, careful not to eat any, and then tapped the wall with his front hooves. Then he tapped the wall again. Then he slammed his hooves repeatedly against the wall.

Pig-Keevan dropped the mushroom on the ground and kicked the wall with his back legs, let out a snort, and then sprawled out on the ground in dismay.

“Well, looks like that’s it,” Kylie said. “Up the stairs?”

“Well, I’m not sure that is everything we could have done,” Brody said. “But we can continue up the stairs to look for a remedy. If we find none, we can always return to this chamber to search some more.”

Pig-Keevan slowly stood up and gingerly began to climb the steps. The others followed, Groll walking side by side with the hog to provide the light.

“Hey! Keev, you think I could get a ride?” Kylie said from behind the boar, teasing.

In response, Keevan let loose a chemical attack that sent Kylie coughing and sputtering. The snorting that followed was definitely amused.

The scene shifts to reveal Groll seated in a dark stone chamber.

“While I understand he was frustrated - and with good reason - there is such a thing as manners,” Groll said, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt. “That being said, he would have probably been the most popular individual back in the orc tribes. Unless they decided to eat him. But then I guess he would still be the most popular. Orcs love pork.”

The scene shifts back to the adventurers climbing a stone spiral staircase, boar carvings up and down the walls.

“Ugh,” Kylie whined. “This is so slow. Why don’t we have a better lamp?”

“We’ve never needed one,” Groll said. “We always had Keevan to provide light.”

“Well that’s clearly working out for us,” Kylie said sarcastically.

"It isn't working very well right now, actually," Brody said. "A brighter lantern would be preferable. Well, having Keevan back would be more preferable. But I wouldn't describe our current situation as optimal."

The group ignored Brody's inability to understand sarcasm and trudged up the stairs, climbing high into the mountain. There were no landings or other chambers that they came across - just seemingly endless stairs. Pig-Keevan was panting, the stairs clearly giving his new form a lot of trouble.

A bubbling sound began to echo down the stairwell. Groll paused for a moment on the stairs when he heard it, but began climbing once more. Brody’s sword came free of its scabbard again, ready for action. Helen adjusted her clothing to give her better freedom of movement. Kylie yawned.

A faint green glow shone steadily from above them, growing brighter as they advanced. The bubbling, too, became louder. Other sounds could be heard over the bubbling - what sounded like whispers and light footsteps came from above them.

“Stay quiet,” Brody whispered. “Kylie, can you sneak in and see what we’re up against?”

Kylie nodded and pulled out one of her daggers. She silently crept up the stairs ahead of the others, disappearing around the curve of the stairwell. Several minutes passed with the same bubbling and whispering as the only sounds that made it to the group of adventurers. Well, the bubbling, the whispering, and the light panting of the Pig-Wizard.

Kylie appeared soundlessly out of the darkness, causing the group to jump a bit. The half-elf brushed at her clothes, relishing in the moment where all attention was on her.

“What did you see?” Brody whispered, finally.

Kylie grinned, but then her expression turned a bit more serious as she recalled the scene above.

“It’s a large chamber, much bigger than the one below,” the rogue whispered. “There are dozens of Arachmen in there. They had pens set up with boars in them. And there’s a bubbling pool of a glowing green liquid in one corner that illuminates the whole place.”

At the mention of boars in pens, Pig-Keevan seemed to perk up and shrink into himself all at the same time. Helen overcame her previous reservations and patted him on the head.

“Dozens of arachmen,” Brody whispered, concerned. “What were they doing? Did they have weapons?”

“Well,” Kylie began, looking uncomfortable for the first time and pointedly avoiding looking at Keevan. “I didn’t see any weapons on them, but they may have been stashed somewhere. And they were… drinking the boars. I think. They were burying those large spider fang things into the boars.”

“Chelicerae,” Brody whispered absently.

All four other adventurers stared at Brody, more shocked at his knowledge of such a strange and obscure word than they were at the revelation that the Arachmen were drinking boar juices. Groll snapped out of it first, though.

“What can we do?” the orc asked. “That is too many to fight.”

“Too many without magic,” Brody whispered. “Keevan could make quick work of them with a fireball, I’m sure. Could we sneak in and pick a few off before they noticed?”

“No,” Kylie said, shaking her head. “They are in groups. They would see us immediately.”

“Then I think I may have a plan,” Brody said. “Though it’s going to be risky. And it all depends on Keevan.”

All four adventurers stared at the suddenly nervous Pig-Wizard. He shrank inward and there was a barely audible gulp that came from the hog.