Novels2Search

Kisses, Trolls, and an Argument

Four days after the river incident the company was still traveling along the main road and had entered a dense forest. To everyone's relief, the weather had finally shifted for the better and Thorin had called a halt to their march when they stumbled across the burnt-out shell of a farmhouse. Vines and creepers wound their way over the charred remains as nature sought to expunge its existence. Gandalf however was uneasy with their surroundings and had a quiet but heated argument with Thorin which resulted in the wizard storming off, muttering under his breath about the stubbornness of dwarves.

Sara’s leg and foot were well on the way to mending and though her boots were still uncomfortable to wear Oin had given her the all-clear. By now her midriff looked like a bad tie-dye job of greens and yellows but most of the pain had subsided as had Sara's supply of Tylenol. Fili was fully recovered and was as active and rambunctious as ever, much to the chagrin of the others.

Despite her protestations, Fili and Kili doted on her as she recovered, insisting on helping her around the camp and setting up and taking down her tent. It had been entertaining for Sara and Bilbo to watch the ensuing fiasco as the brothers attempted to erect her tent that first night. Only after several failed attempts, lots of coaching, and some very nearly snapped tent poles did Fili and Kili finally manage it.

The effects of the incident at the river were felt throughout the entire company, particularly by their bellies. Unsurprisingly they had been unable to recover the pony that had fallen into the river alongside Kili. All of its supplies, which had been mostly food, had been lost. Of what little food the other ponies had carried much had been spoiled by the torrential rain and what remained did not last. The company was forced to hunt food along the road as they may. Bilbo, as it turned out, was particularly good at finding edible plants, and Sara greatly appreciated the sweet potatoes he found. Two squirrels and a rabbit were the second day's meal and the third Sara had offered her MRE’s, but so little among so many was hardly enough.

This fourth night they were faring better as Kili had killed three rabbits and two fat pheasants. Bilbo had found a root cellar near the old farmhouse and a long-neglected garden containing some of last year’s potatoes, carrots, and some fresh growing onions. After the MRE's the night before the prospect of a proper stew had the company more cheery than they had been of late; even with the absence of Gandalf.

Most of the company had returned to their previous level of acceptance of Sara and she once again grew at ease with them. Thorin still did not speak to her unless necessary but he no longer shot her dirty looks or huffed irritably when she passed by him. Her evenings are once again filled with laughter, hair braiding, and whittling. Bofur still teased her and Dwalin continued to check on her from time to time.

Oin requested to learn CPR which Sara had gladly done, though she refused to demonstrate the mouth-to-mouth, much to the disappointment of Bofur who was acting as her mannequin at the time. Balin, Dori, Nori, Gloin, and even Bilbo learned the technique but none more enthusiastically than Bilbo who stated that hobbits were poor swimmers and this could be very helpful in the Shire should he ever return. Most of the others watched as she taught them and even Thorin and Gandalf listened in, though Sara noted that Fili was conspicuously absent even though Kili was nearby.

Bilbo it seemed had made some new friends. Bombur who was camp cook had grumbled loudly one night as he set about to prepare dinner, and Bilbo had offered him his help. The two had become fast friends, bonding over the food, and could be found most nights busily swapping advice back and forth. Bilbo had also managed to befriend Dori by offering to share the tea he had brewed from ingredients found along the roadside. Dori was fond of tea but seldom had any since the others were not partial to what they called boiled leaf juice. The two chatted amiably long into the night. Occasionally even Gloin would bend Bilbo's ear with tales of his son. Sara suspected that these were rather one-sided conversations but Bilbo proved patient and in return gained another hesitant friend. Sara had even sat with them a few times listening to stories about Gimli. It was interesting to know more about Gimli's past.

There had been relative peace in camp tonight even as Fili and Kili played their occasional pranks. The brothers had discovered the laser pointer on Sara's keys and subsequently spent a good ten minutes watching Dwalin try to buff the red dot off of his ax. Their snickering finally gave them away and a perturbed Dwalin sent them to gather firewood, claiming that if they had so much free time, then he would fill it for them. Twenty minutes later Fili and Kili escaped to Sara's tent, where she sat making her daily notes.

“He didn't take kindly to it,” said Fili, popping his head inside the tent and handing her back the laser pointer.

“I warned you,” she said. “Don't mess with Dwalin.” She tried to tuck her notebook inside her crammed pack. It had been a long day and the hour had grown late. She checked her phone before dropping it onto her sleeping bag. Way late... almost 2 am. Normally they were asleep long ago but Thorin had said they would take a rest day tomorrow. Sara was looking forward to sleeping in.

“But you should have seen his face when the dot kept reappearing,” said Kili. The flashlight hanging over her head swung back and forth as Fili and Kili took a seat inside her tent. Sara upended her bag so she could organize and repack it.

“I prefer not to see Dwalin angry,” she said sorting through her belongings. “I have a sneaking suspicion you live longer that way." The bag of Hershey Kisses fell out of the bottom of her pack and she eagerly picked it up.

"Sara," asked Kili, picking up her phone and clicking the screen on. "Can we play that ghost game again?” Sara smirked as she opened the bag of candy. The two had been fiddling with her phone a few days ago when they had stumbled across the games. Within a matter of hours, they had become regular cellphone game junkies.

“You mean Pac-Man?”

"Yeah, that one."

"Sure thing, just be careful with my phone." Eagerly Kili found the game and soon the brothers were engrossed in the tiny screen. Sara finished repacking her bag leaving the candy aside.

“Do you two want to kiss?” she asked, reaching into the small plastic bag.

"What?" asked Fili, glancing up distractedly.

"Do you want a kiss," she repeated. Fili looked taken aback as his cheeks flushed and he began to stammer.

"Sara… I um… I don't think that's a good…" She looked up, immediately understanding the miscommunication. She hadn’t meant to cause the confusion but now that she had…

"Are you sure? My kisses are very good; sweet and silky. And I mean you have never had one. I thought you would want to try at least one," she purred, trying not to laugh as Fili's face grew redder.

"I have kissed before," said Fili looking away. She tried not to snicker.

"Ah but I'm positive you have never had one like mine."

She had Kili's attention now. He looked up from the phone, his eyes flicking to the bag at her side and quickly reading the label. Kili grinned and she winked at him when Fili looked away from her.

"Couldn't get enough of him a few days ago," asked Kili. He clapped a hand on Fili's shoulder. "Brother you're just irresistible."

"I still don't think…" said Fili, backing away from them both slightly. "I mean not that you're … it’s not really… it's just that..."

"Well if that's how you feel about it," said Sara, shrugging. "What about you Kili? Do you want one of my kisses?"

"I would love one of your kisses Sara."

"But I thought…" said Fili, leaning forward and glancing between her and Kili. "You can't...you can't just go around offering kisses to people."

"Why not?" said Sara. "Kisses are meant to be shared. I was going to offer some to the entire company."

"But you just can't do that," argued Fili. "It's not right."

"Sure it is," said Sara, picking candy from the bag. "Didn't your mother ever teach you to share?" She passed a Kiss to Kili who unwrapped the candy and popped it into his mouth.

"But… but you shouldn't," insisted Fili.

"Oh come on," said Sara. "What's the harm in one little kiss?"

"Allot if it's not meaningful."

"I don't follow," she said, unwrapping a kiss for herself and delighting in the creamy chocolate on her tongue. "I mean sure if you ate the entire bag of Kisses it would not be great for you but that's why I want to share."

"Bag?" questioned Fili, his eyebrows furrowing. "Eat?"

"Kill, would you like another kiss?"

"I would love one! They are delicious."

"Another?" asked Fili, completely flummoxed. "She never gave you one."

"Of course she did," said Kili, taking another candy from Sara. "This is my second." He held up the small silver-wrapped sweet.

"But… but," stuttered Fili. Sara finally took pity on him and lifted the bag kisses so he could read the label. She watched trying to stifle her laughter as his face shifted from confusion to exasperated understanding.

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Thorin looked up from the satchel strap he had been repairing when laughter erupted from the strange tent of Sara Miller. While keeping a watchful eye on the camp he had seen his nephews disappear into the colorful dome a few minutes earlier, a situation he was not entirely comfortable with. He was not sure why this should bother him. His nephews were well-disciplined… were they not?

His nephews exited the tent, Kili clutching the small device he had so often seen the woman staring at. Fili's cheeks were dusted pink as were his ears and his lips were pulled down in an irritable scowl. Kili jabbed his brother with an elbow, whispering to him and causing Fili to turn an even darker shade of pink. Bofur approached them. Thorin felt uneasy as he strained to hear what was whispered between them but the banging of pots and pans from Bombur near the fire drowned out their words.

He watched as Kili laughed and pointed back at Ms. Sara’s tent. At first, Bofur was shocked but this was quickly followed by laughter. There was a wholly indecent smile on Bofur's lips as left his nephews and made his way to the red tent. The clatter of pans ceased.

Dwalin caught up with Fili and Kili, and still determined to keep them busy, sent them in the direction of the ponies. Usually watching the ponies was an unnecessary job unless there were signs of predators in the area but they had not seen any trace of large animals since entering the lush forest. Thorin frowned. That was unusual in and of itself. Regardless, watching the ponies was a good way to keep the two miscreants out of trouble and out from underfoot. Uneasily he returned to repairing the satchel.

His nephews had been on his mind more as of late. As he noted their interactions with Ms. Sara he was unsure how to interpret what he saw. The ease with which the girl had fallen in with the duo had been a bit unnerving at first. The trio had only grown closer since the fiasco at the river. This along with the frequent and easy contact between the three had Thorin a bit leery of the situation.

He rationalized that he was simply looking after his nephews. His unease stemmed from his concern for them. But there was a niggling at the back of his mind that he was unwilling to inspect. It was Dis and her sons he was thinking of. His sister was fiercely protective of her sons, especially after the death of their father, and had only allowed them to join the quest after much pleading from them and promises of safety on his part. Dis would not thank him if he returned her sons to her along with this woman. It was natural that he should be concerned with the situation… was it not?

Bofur exited the woman's tent, licking his lips and beaming. Thorin's suspicion and interest were piqued further as he watched the toymaker. Bofur carried an odd bag in his hands as he moved from person to person in the camp, whispering in their ears and placing something in their hands. Thorin's heart skipped a beat and his stomach plummeted when he overhead the word “kiss”. Several of the dwarves wore shocked expressions as Bofur left them. Ori was positively beet red, stammering something to Dori who shook his head. When Bofur reached Bifur, the older dwarf had cuffed his younger cousin but accepted what was offered. Thorin got hesitantly to his feet and caught the hatted dwarf by the arm determined to discover what was happening in the camp.

“What's going on Bofur?” demanded Thorin quietly. Bofur tucked the bag into his coat pocket.

“Ms. Sara has ever so graciously offered to share her Kisses with the entire company,” said Bofur, a smug expression plastered across his face. Thorin froze. What under Mahal's hammer? He had not been expecting this response at all. What was the woman playing at?

“Her Kisses are quite good," said Bofur, licking his lips suggestively. “She has one for everyone, even you. Fili, Kili, and I already had ours.”

Thorin did not know how to respond as Bofur continued past him toward Dwalin. Thorin’s pulse raced almost as rapidly as his mind. This could not be possible... could it? Then again, this woman was from an entirely different world. Who was to say what was customary where she was from? One thing was for certain, he needed to put a stop to this immediately. He made his way quickly to the red tent, dreading the necessary conversation. Upon reaching her domed shelter he sucked in a breath trying to calm his nerves.

“Ms. Sara?”

Her head appeared and her mouth formed a little “O". Quickly she exited the tent and stood in front of him.

“Yes, Mr. Oakenshield, what do you need?”

“I must ask you, Ms. Sara, what are your intentions in regards to my sister’s sons?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and trying to calm his heartbeat as he awaited her answer. "And the rest of the company for that matter?"

“With Fili and Kili?” she asked, looking up at him, her eyebrows pulled together in confusion creating a small dimple in the middle of her brow.

“You shared your kisses with them both did you not?” he asked, gritting his teeth at the thought.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

"Yeah, I had a bunch." Something inside his chest tightened.

“Then again with Bofur just now?” She cocked her head for the side.

"Yeah, he asked for one. I was going ot share them around anyway.” Again and the frustration rose in him.

“So I ask you again; what are your intentions towards my nephews? They are the future of my people, and I would not see them toyed with, or their reputations tarnished.”

“I'm not sure where this is coming from but I have no intentions towards either of them. We are just friends. I don’t like them in that way, or anyone for that matter.”

“Then why do you lead them on by kissing them, and then Bofur, and offering kisses to the others?” he asked his anger and frustration spiking.

Were her customs really so frivolous? He did not understand this girl who would kiss so many without compunction, and he didn't like that she was now so ingrained into his company. She glanced over his shoulder as a yelp rang across the camp. Dwain now had a laughing Bofur in a headlock. Her face seemed to brighten in understanding and then cloud with anger.

“I should have realized that would come back to bite me on the butt,” she growled, scowling at Bofur.

“What do you mean?” he asked, feeling a sense of unease. She turned back to him.

“Look, I didn’t kiss them,” she insisted.

“But you just…”

“I gave them a kiss. A Hershey's Chocolate Kiss.” She dug in her pocket and produced a small silver object. “This is a Kiss. It’s a chocolate candy from my world.” She offered it to him. Hesitantly he took it.

“This is a kiss?” She nodded.

“Kili and I played a prank on Fili and it seems that Bofur has duplicated it. No lips involved,” she said raising her empty hands. “I had a bag of candy and when Bofur asked for one, I told him to take the bag and share them around camp.” Understanding dawned like a blow to the gut. He was going to flay Bofur.

“Just to be clear, you have no interest in my nephew's?” he asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No offense, but my goal is to do whatever these Valar want so they will send me home. I have no idea how long that will take but I don’t plan to get involved with anyone from this world. At least not in that way. Strictly platonic.”

He had been a fool. How did he always seem to jump to the worst conclusions when it came to this girl. It was unlike him to be in the wrong so often. He was silent for a moment as he collected and rearranged his thoughts.

“Mr. Oakenshield?” He grimaced.

“Mr. Thorin will do,” he said, letting his hand drop from his face. “Oakenshield is merely an epithet.” He had never liked the title much. It brought back bitter memories of Moria.

“Mr. Thorin then. Have I done something inappropriate to make you suspect I have designs on Fili or Kili? Is it the hair braiding?” she asked, fidgeting with the necklace around her neck. Were the woman’s hands never still?

“No Ms. Sara,” he said trying to temper his tone. “While braiding someone's hair is normally reserved for family members, there are no strict social expectations associated with it. It is not unheard of close friends to do so.” She raised her green eyes to his and he blew out a breath. “They are very fond of you Ms. Sara, and while I may not understand their reasoning, I will not stand in the way of your friendship, as long as that is all it ever is. They are princes.” She was silent for a moment biting her bottom lip.

“I understand. I guess sometimes I forget that they are princes.”

“They seldom behave as though they remember it themselves,” he added. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her gaze flicking back across camp to Bofur.

“I’m sorry if I made it seem like I intended anything other than friendship with them.”

“No,” he said. “I find myself needing to apologize to you again. I allowed myself to…”

“Unkle!” shouted Fili sprinting into camp. “Uncle some of the ponies are missing?”

“What happened? You and Kili were supposed to be watching them.”

“We were...well sort of,” said Fili guiltily. “We weren't really paying attention.”

“What happened?” growled Thorin.

“That's what I'm trying to tell you, they were stolen by three trolls. Bilbo went to try and get the ponies back, and Kili went after him in case there was trouble.”

“You let them go after trolls?” accused Sara.

“Durin’s beard Fili!” shot Thorin. “Why didn't you just lead with that? Dwalin!” The warrior appeared at his side. “Get everyone up. We must rescue the halfling and my fool nephew before they are eaten by trolls.” Dwalin ran off quickly, rousting the others. Thorin turned back to the woman,

“Ms. Sara, you will stay here.”

“But…” she began.

“No,” he said cutting her off. “You remember our discussion at the beginning of the journey?” She scowled.

“How could I forget it.”

“I cannot look after you and deal with trolls at the same time. You would be a distraction. The hobbit will be more than enough trouble as is. You will stay here where it is safe.”

“But I…”

“No,” he insisted. “You are to remain here. Be ready to leave in a rush. Keep watch for Gandalf. If he returns before we do, send him after us. Under no circumstances are you to follow us. If we are not back by dawn, return to Bree. Do you understand?”

“But I think…” she tried again.

“Do you understand?” he pressed. She sighed and nodded reluctantly.

“Very well. Mahal willing, we will return shortly. Remain here!”

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Sara sat by the dwindling fire debating whether or now to let it die. Worry turned her gut as she poked morosely at the red coals. She could reduce the likelihood of her being spotted if she let the fire die out but she didn’t much like the idea of waiting in the dark. She had tried to keep busy to distract herself from the companies absence, but had now exhausted her ideas. She had repacked her possessions and loaded them back onto Starbright. Gathering the remaining ponies she had done the same with the others packs as best she could. Nori’s bag had been particularly heavy. She had brought the ponies into camp and tied them to the surrounding trees.

About twenty minutes after the dwarves had left there was a distant commotion and what sounded like a battle but it was over quickly and the dwarves have not yet returned. There had been no sound since then. They had been gone for over three hours and she was beginning to feel desperate. What had happened to them? She didn't think that three trolls could have been a match for thirteen well-armed dwarves, particularly when Thorin and Dwalin were with them. All of the dwarves were proficient with at least one weapon. So where were they?

She checked her phone. It was almost 5:30. She let out a frustrated growl tucking it back into her pocket. Fili had hastily returned her phone before disappearing with the others and she had a sneaking suspicion that he and Kili had been playing Pac-Man rather than actually watching the ponies. She got to her feet unable to keep herself from pacing.

A hand clamped tightly on her shoulder sending her heart into overdrive. She spun around with a shriek. Gandalf stared down at her, a slightly wild look in his eyes.

“Where is the company?”

“Gandalf,” said Sara, going limp. “Oh, thank goodness it’s you. Thorin said to send you after them if you returned before them.”

“Send me where?”

“Trolls,” she said, trying to calm her heart. “The company went to save Kili, Bilbo, and the ponies.”

“When?”

“Hours ago. No one has returned. I'm so worried for them Gandalf.”

“Where did they go?”

“That way,” she said pointing off into the forest to their left.

“Come with me,” directed Gandalf.

“Thorin told me not to leave camp.” But Gandalf was already striding off into the forest. Suppressing a shiver she ran after him. They wound their way through the woods in the direction the dwarves had vanished.

“Do you think they are okay?” she asked after she could no longer stand the silence. “It's been so long, and there has been no sign of them.”

“Do not fret. We will see them yet. They are more capable than you assume, and they have Bilbo with them.”

“They went to rescue Bilbo,” she pointed out.

“Regardless, there is more to Bilbo than meets the eye. He is quite clever. I feel he will have things in hand.”

Things did not look at all in hand when Sara and Gandalf finally crept up on the troll’s fire. Dori, Nori, Ori, Dwalin, Bofur, and Bifur were all stripped to their underclothes and tied to a giant spit which was suspended over the fire where a troll larger than a pickup truck turned them slowly. The rest of the company, including Bilbo, were trussed up in bags and piled to the side just in front of the four missing ponies. The troll’s voices were raised as they argued back and forth about how to cook the dwarves. Gandalf led Sara behind an enormous rock to the east of the troll camp.

“Stay here,” instructed the wizard before disappearing into the gloom. She had no choice but to hunker down, peeking over the rock. Where was Gandalf going? The arguing continued for several more minutes before the trolls finally decided to rost those over the fire and then boil the rest into the stew. The camp fell quiet for a few moments save the grumbling of the dwarves.

“Bake them into pies says I,” called one of the trolls. Sara blinked. She had not seen any of the trolls speak and they were all in plain view.

“It’s already been decided,” said one of the trolls, whacking his companion with the enormous cooking spoon he had been using. “We boil them into the stew and put the nags into pies.”

“Ow,” cried the smallest of the trolls holding his nose. “What was that for? I didn’t say nothin’.” This lead to another bout of argument that ended in a tussle that shook the ground. After a few blows, they agreed to split the pies between the dwarves and ponies. The camp grew silent again.

“I still say we gut then and stuff them,” said a troll voice to Sara’s right. She looked over only to find Gandalf crouching in the shadows. Yet another argument broke out.

“I say we just eat them raw and have done with it,” said the largest of the trolls, abandoning the dwarves rotating over the fire.

“Ey, there’s an idea,” said the smallest, turning to face the sacked dwarves.

"No, no! You are making a terrible mistake," said Bilbo clambering to his feet in his large brown sack. "You can’t just eat these dwarves raw. Bless me, that would be a disaster. You simply must cook them.” Sara's mouth fell open and the dwarves fell silent in shock.

"What do you mean?" asked the troll holding the cooking spoon. "What would a flurgerberhobbit know about cooking dwarves?"

"Have you smelled these dwarves?" asked Bilbo incredulously. "Trust me, it’s enough to turn even your stomach. No, they must be properly prepared and seasoned before you eat them.”

"They were rather stinky," said the smallest troll. Several of the dwarves began to protest loudly.

"We do not stink!" shouted Kili angrily. Despite the dire situation Sara could not help but roll her eyes.

"How would you suggest we go about it then?" asked the troll with the spoon ignoring the dwarf prince.

"The secret to cooking dwarves is…" said Bilbo stalling.

"Well go on then. Tell us," pressed the spoon wielding troll.

"Yes, yes, I'm getting there. The secret to cooking dwarf is…” said Bilbo, floundering for an idea. "To skin them first!" Yet another argument broke out between the trolls as the drawers complained loudly. Dwalin pointed at Bilbo threatening him from his place on the spit.

"What is he doing?" questioned Sara turning to Gandalf.

"Playing for time," said Gandalf beaming.

“Why?”

“Sunrise is almost upon us,” said the wizard gesturing over their shoulder to where the sun was peeking up over the eastern horizon.

“This is a load of rubbish,” said the large troll snatching Bombur up in his sack. "I'm starving. Theirs nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf. Nice and crunchy." He held Bombur aloft dangling over his mouth, his tongue flicking out to lick the dwarf.

"Not, not that one he's infected,” squeaked Bilbo in a panicked voice. The troll paused, his tongue still on the far dwarf. "He's… he’s got worms in his…. tubes."

The troll dropped Bombur in disgust, spitting and wiping his tongue. The portly dwarf landed on top of the others who groaned in pain.

"In...in fact they all have," continued Bilbo. "They are infested with ghastly parasites. It's a nasty business. I wouldn't risk it; I really wouldn't. Even cooking the dwarves would not guarantee their eradication." The sun was now warming Sara's back.

"We do not have parasites!" shouted Kili affronted. The others began to protest as well. Bilbo rolled his eyes in disbelief. Thorin seemed to have caught on for he kicked Kili in the back, giving him a look to silence him. The others instantly changed their tune.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm," said Oin.

"Mine are the biggest parasites! I've got huge parasites" came Kili's voice louder than the others.

"We riddled!" cried Dori and Nori from their place above the flames, as the others chimed in. Sara thought they were perhaps milking it a bit; apparently one of the trolls thought so as well.

"What would you have us do then?" asked the troll with the spoon suspiciously. "Let them all go?"

"Well..." hedged Bilbo.

“Why are we listening to this rubbish,” said the small troll snatching up poor Bombur again and holding him aloft. “Let’s just gut this one and see.” He drew a long knife and raised it to Bombur’s gut. Gandalf hastily climbed to the top of the boulder and raised his staff over his head.

"The dawn take you all, and stone be you!" thundered Gandalf, striking the boulder with his staff. The great stone broke in two, allowing the morning rays to spill through and shine upon the camp. The trolls roared as their skin grew grey and stiff. In moments they were frozen in pace, solid stone. A cheer went up among the dwarves.

Sara rushed around the broken bolder to the dwarves suspended over the fire and overturned the large pot of grizzly-looking stew, extinguishing the flames. Snatching a discarded knife she recognized as one of Fili’s she cut Dwalin lose from the spit while Gandalf freed those who were sacked.

"Thank ya lass,” said Dwalin, dropping onto the sizzling coals. “It was getting a mite bit toasty." He took the knife from her and cut down the others. Even his underclothes Dwalin still seemed as intimidating as ever. Soon all were free and dressed, their accouterments back in place. Sara made her way over to Fili nad Kili. Something was wrong with Fili, his movements jerky and stiff.

"I'm surprised they found all your knives," she said, handing Fili the knife she had found by the fire,

"They didn't," he said curtly. "I just couldn't reach the last one with my arms tied behind my back in the sack."

"Shame," said Kili. "Might have come in handy."

"Yes, one small blade against three trolls and the rest of you still tied up in sacks," said Fil sarcastically.

"You never know," said Kili scratching his chin.

"I'm just glad you're all safe and no one was eaten," said Sara, hugging them both.

"No thanks to Mr. Baggins," scowled Fili, pushing away. "I knew he would be trouble.” Sara glanced to Biblo who stood across the clearing buttoning up his vest.

“What are you talking about?”

“If he hadn't been caught we could have beaten the trolls," said Fili.

"Uncle made us drop our weapons because the trolls were going to rip Bilbo's arms off," explained Kili.

"Well that’s good," replied Sara. “I may not always agree with him, but your Unkle is a good leader. He would have done the same for you." Kili shrugged.

“I guess so.”

"I would never have been caught," snapped Fili. Sara was surprised at Fili’s anger. "The hobbit's inexperience is a danger that almost cost us all our lives."

"That's funny," said Sara, crossing her arms over her chest. She could feel her cheeks heat as her anger flared in defense of Bilbo. "I thought it was you who lost the ponies, not Bilbo.” Fili’s face flushed. “And if you hadn't noticed, he just helped save all your hides by stalling the trolls till sunrise."

"By calling us stinky and saying we have parasites," groused Kili.

"We have been traveling on the road for days Kili. We all stink," she said turning to him. "Besides I seem to recall you claiming to have the biggest parasites out of the lot." He grinned sheepishly at her and shrugged again. Fili however was not amused.

"He is still a liability to our safety," he said firmly.

"Yeah," replied Sara irritated. "Well so are you two, playing video games when you should have been tending the ponies. So whose fault is it really? Besides, it wasn't Bilbo who nearly drowned a few days ago, was it? No. It was him that helped pull us out."

Fili snapped his jaw shut. She could tell by the look on his face that she had said too much, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to regret her words at the moment. She was so tired of Bilbo being talked badly about.

"Fili I…" she started but he ignored her, turning on his heel and stomping away. She took a few steps after him but Kili caught her shoulder and shook his head.

"Let him be for now. He's still a bit upset about the river thing, mostly because Bofur keeps teasing him. He will come round."

"You're not mad at me then?" she asked.

"Nah, I reckon you are right about the ponies. No one got hurt, and besides," he said, his eyebrows wiggling. "It will make a great story to tell the ladies." She smirked and then frowned.

"I don't think Fili will see it that way."

"He is probably just worried that uncle will blame him for the whole thing. He worries about stuff like that a lot, what with being next in line for the throne and all."

"I suppose that would explain it. While you seem to have inherited some of Thorin's good looks, Fili inherited some of his temperament," she said looking away, chewing her lip.

“I suppose so,” said Kili eyeing her strangely. Bilbo and Bofur sauntered over. Bilbo looked downhearted, his gaze on his boots.

"We found a troll hoard!" exclaimed Bofur, handing Sara and Kili hunks of bread and cheese. "Bombur is going to try and fry some bacon we found and there's also a barrel of Ale." He held up a mug and grinning widely. "We shall have food, for today at any rate." Sara sniffed the bread. It smelled a bit stale but she took a bite anyway. Beggars could not be choosers. She bit the cheese.

“Not too bad,” she said. “But I want to try melting the cheese on the bread." Bilbo perked up at that idea.

"That does sound rather pleasant and with a great slab of bacon on it it will be perfect," he said.

"Thorin sent Dori and Nori back to gather everyone's things so it may be a bit till they return with the frying pan," said Bofur sadly. Bilbo wilted a little as his stomach gave an audible growl.

"Not so long," said Sara. "I have everyone's gear packed and loaded on the ponies.”

"That was a right smart thing to do lass," said Bofur, pulling the hood of her coat up over her head with his free hand. “I see ya still can't be parted with this coat of yers." She pushed his hand away.

"I see you managed to hold on to your mangy old hat," she said, tugging one of the hat’s flaps. He chuckled.

"Aye that I did." He turned to Bilbo. "Come, Mr. Baggins, let's tell my Bombur of Sara's idea for the food." Sara and Kili followed them at a distance, but Kili drew her aside, face serious.

“What?” she asked apprehensively.

"Just something you said.”

“What?”

“You find my uncle attractive," he said, his face breaking into a knowing smirk. Sara punched his shoulder.

"Ouch!" He rubbed his arm, pretending to be genuinely hurt.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just…”

“Well, then how did you mean it?”

“I just … it’s just that…” she floundered, but words failed her. She punched his shoulder again. “If you say anything I swear I will make you regret it."

"Okay, okay," he said not even trying to hide his self-satisfied smirk. “I won’t say anything.” But a moment later he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "But you do find him attractive don't you Mistress Miller?" He jumped away before she could hit him again laughing as he followed the others leaving her behind to fume in her thoughts.